13 answers

Potty Training a Scare

HELP! My two-year-old is afraid of the potty. What can I do to encourage her to go and not be afraid?

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WOW! What a wonderful response! I love this place! I gathered so many ideas from all of you that offered and can't wait to try them. I will take my time and not force her, though. She always goes with me and likes to sit on her little potty, but just gets scared when she feels herself going potty. She has peepeed in the floor many times because of this. Thanks to everyone who gave advice! I GREATLY appreciate it.

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Hope you'll listen to a grandmother -- kids' biological needs haven't changed that much since my older daughter was born in 1967!

We tried potty training her when she was just over two years old, and as successful as it was, it was always MY idea to "go." So I told her that she could wear diapers until she decided she wanted to be a big girl. Then I found out I was pregnant and would deliver just before the older daughter's birthday. Shortly after the younger's birth, she decided she could be a big girl now that she's a big sister!

I promise you: she will not walk down the aisle in her wedding wearing diapers!!

Grandma Barb

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I myself have just started potty training my second son. He was scared of it too, because he had a rash and his bum was sore. But as soon as I talked him into sitting down by saying it won't hurt, he accepted it and stayed on the potty.
Right now, I would just sit her on it when you go potty with her clothes and diaper on. Slowly transition to her sitting on the potty with her diaper on, then without a diaper. See if that works. Good luck!

I have learned that this is a rollar coaster. My daughter will turn 3 next month. I started stressing the potty about 4-5 months ago. For a long time she wouldn't sit on it. Then she would sit on it, but only with her clothes on. Then she seen that it was ok and started letting me pull her pants down and sitting on it. She wouldn't use it thought. One Night she sat on it so long she had the imprint of it on her bottom. She wouldn't get off it. The funny thing is that she sat there for so long and then got up ran down the hall and pee'd in the floor. I started buying pull-ups and telling her they were to help her use the potty. After about a month she finally pee'd. Then it was hit and miss for a few weeks. But I really stressed about it. And then one day I just said the heck with it she will do it when she is ready. She won't go to kindergarden in diapers. So I basically stopped talking about it and then she started wanting to do it. So now I have bought panties which she calls "big girl panties" and let her wear them at home. She loves to wear them and keeps them dry. She has some accidents. Our hurdle though is getting her to poop in the potty. She still won't do that much. But I don't stress it. She will do it when she is ready. Also I think what has helped is that I put her in daycare about the same time I started trying to potty train. She is an only child right now and seeing the other kids use the potty has encouraged her to do it. Good luck!

Is she showing any signs of being ready? If she is afraid of the potty, she's probably not. Does she have her own little potty or are you trying to train her straight to tbe big one? Both of my boys preferred the little seat that fit on the big potty, but my neice learned on a potty chair, so you kind of got to let them pick their own method of training. Let the potty training go for a month or two and try again, but make sure to take cues from her. Positive reinforcement works wonders, but it's not going to do anything if she feels like she's being forced.

Yeah, she's only two. I didn't train mine until she was 3. And she was scare of the potty also. I'd get her to just sit on it with the lid closed (with her clothes on) for 3 seconds and cheer like crazy. Next time longer, for a day. Next day maybe open the lid, with clothes still on, and same thing... ANd charts... Then then next step was harder since the clothes had to come down but it just meant more creative and cheering and jumping around. BUT as you have heard every child it different. When she'd sit on the potty we started the sticker chart. Every time she sat on the potty for an amount of time she got to put a sticker on the chart, if she dribbled in the potty she got to put a sticker on the chart and so on. But she still wet her big girls. I felt lost. I let her pick out the big girls and all that. Then I read on-line that if you just stop taking them every 15 minutes or so and LET them wet in the big girls they learn faster. WOW! First time she had this look of "what just happened, get these off of me" then the second time she almost made it to the potty. Only took a day that way. The other way took two weeks. Maybe it was both ways that taught her. But the wetting the big girls you could see really hit home. She wanted to keep them dry. I don't know it this would help or not. But like the others... Don't stress. I know it's hard not to. Good Luck.

V. (SAHM of Two)

www.Craftlister.com/ValerieAltman
("ndle Creater")

Don't worry, my 4 year old son still has trouble of the potty, pooping, don't force it or it will make it worse, I have made that mistake, do potty charts, rewards, don't get onto her, I made that mistake too, I am a peds nurse and I have heard it all from our doctors. Good luck it just takes time. J.

she is only 2. give her time. she will train when she is ready. the more you push, the worse it will get.

My daughter went with me everytime I went to the bathroom and I made a big deal out of it...like I was excited for myself. She would clap and carry on until she was ready to try it. It didn't take long from there.

It can be overwhelming; they are learning SO much at this age. Try to make this a fun experience for her.

My granddaughter was afraid of the potty as well, and refused to sit on it. My daughter bought a seat that sits on top of the toilet and she used that. She had seen us sitting on it, and I think that she thought that was a normal thing to do. She never used a potty at all.

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