Potty Training - Stanford, KY

Updated on June 22, 2008
T.T. asks from Stanford, KY
18 answers

Hi im a single mom with a beautiful 3 year old boy. hes been doing really well with potty training except for the pooping part ive tried everything but for some reason he still will poop in his pants. there are times he does well but for the most part he just goes in his pants. i dont know what else to do. any suggestions would be great. thanks

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So What Happened?

thank you for all your advice im gonna try them...my sons not so afraid of the toilet though cause he on some days goes to the bathroom and poops on his own even without me asking he will do so good then on some days its like starting all over again...i dont know if he gets lazy or what but even when hes playing he will stop himself to go pee. he really liked his pull ups but i told him they no longer make them only big boy undies and i always ask or encourage him to use the potty. and i always congrat him in a big way when he does go. i guess its just maybe hes not all the way ready. i even tried the shower thing and so he will walk up to me and say mommy i pooped but i dont want shower. so i will try again and i thank you all.

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B.K.

answers from Charlotte on

My son went thru the same thing. He is now 3 and a half and he does great on peeing and pooping in the potty. I remember before he got it I was so worried about the pooping in his pants and one of his daycare teachers told me 'It just takes time' Eventually it will just fall into place. Try and keep him on a regular schedule of going to the potty. It'll work out, don't worry.

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B.D.

answers from Greensboro on

I agree with Sarah - if you have him just about there at age 3 you deserve a gold star. Boys take a bit longer on the potty training thing.

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C.S.

answers from Rocky Mount on

Hi. Please.....please....be patient with your child. Little boys seem to take longer than girls to master this problem, and just keep praising him when he does go. One day before you know it.....it will become automatic for him.

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A.C.

answers from Charlotte on

This is funny but my little guy did the same thing. He was almost 4 when he got totaly trained. I even brought him to the doctor to see if anything was wrong. The doctor told him that he wanted him to go in the potty and when he came back he would have chuckie cheese coupons for him. That same week we had family coming in out of town and we went to eat at a restaurant in Denver. He said he had to go and we went in. While he was in there I said wouldnt it be great if we could tell everyone that you went poopy on the potty and he went. Well we came out and he just told everyone in the restuarant. Everyone clapped etc! It was great. After that he never did it in his pants again. I do think they will do it when they are ready not us!!Good luck

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J.A.

answers from Goldsboro on

Hi, I have a friend that has a daughter who is 4. She would poop in her pants too all of the time. This may apply to your son it may not, I thought I'd tell you about my friends daughter and you can see if this will help your son or not. Anyway, she took her to the doctor for an appt. and she told him what her daughter was doing. He said that she may be constipated so he told her to give her some milk of magnizium just one time. It worked but she has to take a prescribed medicine every night to help her go (I'm not sure how long she'll have to take this medicine), ever since then she's been using the potty like she should. I hope this helps, like I said it may not apply but I thought I'd tell you anyway. Good luck!! J. A.

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B.T.

answers from Charlotte on

honey i knowe how you feel. my son will be 3 in a week and we have been potty trained for 6 months, but he usually poops in his pants. He was okay until his daddy fed him something hot and then i t hurt him coming out. since then, last july, we have had troublr even pooping. he holds it and holds it until it comes out, then he pushes it back in. he will go days doing this, and i have to constantly wipe his but b/c he has "peeping turtles". he has gone 3 weeks without pooping, even being fed laxatives and enemas doesnt works. i dont know what to do, im scared he is going to mess himself up. the strangest thing was when i went to mcdonalds with him, the minute he got in the play area, he would go. i used to anticipate this and take him to mcdonalds twice a week to make him poop. he had on undies the first time, but after the second reoccurence, i got with it and put him in pull ups. he will have poop on his butt and deny that he has to go all together. i dont have any solutions, but i wanted to let you know that you arent alone, my son refuses to admit anything about having to poop. i dont get it.

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M.J.

answers from Wilmington on

Girl, I feel for you!
My 3 year old little girl was the same. She would hide in a corner or in her room and go potty. I did a lot of reading and it says that the muscle that controls it may not be developed enough for a child to understand when they have to go. I would ask if it sneaks out or if she could tell when she had to go potty. At that age, who knows if they understand completely. Once we got our pool up, I let her know, "No potty or pee pee in the pool or in our bathingsuit". I have a potty chair outside by the pool and encouraged her to let me know when it was time. It took a few days but, she is finally on track. I also made a Potty and Pee Pee Chart that I let her put stickers on when she uses the toilet. It proudly hangs on the bathroom door. The Potty side is finally filling up with stickers.
These little tricks only work if the child is ready for that next step. My girl is now clean and dry and in big girl panties. I thought it would never happen but it did. Your little boy will make up his mind one day and it will just be awesome for him. We also have a phrase " you can stink up the bathroom all you want". It helped her understand that potty smells are not supposed to be in her room.
Hope it helps! He is almost there. Be patient and reward all his little successes.
Good Luck!
MJ

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M.Z.

answers from Charlotte on

My daughter did this for a short time-- I would take her to the potty and put the poop in the potty and tell her to "poop in the potty" -- when she finally did it-- I gave her 5 M&Ms and did a little dance. So, hopefully you can teach him the right way and then make a HUGE deal out of it when he does it correctly

mel

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K.B.

answers from Johnson City on

I too have a 3 year old little boy as of April 26th, we had tried potty training back in February he did real good then all of a sudden he stopped. Well just last week he said he wanted his big boy unddies. He started using the potty just great! Well, all but pooping. He would go to the bedroom get a pull-up take off his unddies and put the pull-up on and poop. I knew what he was doing and I would tell him to go use his potty or the big potty he said,no. Well just yesterday we were at my mother's house and he had to go poop. He came and asked for a pull-up I said no you will have to use Ganny's big potty. Mom said if you do I have you a surprise. So off we go I stepped out just for a minute and he said, mommy I pooped and I didn't fall in. So now I know why he didn't want too, he was affraid of falling in. He then went back and used it again. So when we got home we told his daddy what he done and we made a real big deal out of it. Let's just hope he does it again. So to help you just give him time he will come around.

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M.W.

answers from Huntington on

At that age, they should be capable of going potty. it's just that that age is so into exploring the world, going potty might not be a priority. It seems wet pants bother them more than sitting on a solid chunk. The smell doesn't seem to bother them at all, wettness does, go figure.
When my son had this problem, it usually happened when he was outside playing, and didn't want to come in.
When this happened, I started making him clean himself & his pants up without help. Of course, I redid the job after he finished, since at 3 yo he was not accomplished enough to do a thorogh job, but I made him do his best to clean it up as thoroughly as possible before I stepped in. This taught him the consequences of his actions. Soon he figured out it took more time and effort to clean up than it would have to use the potty in the first place. He learned quickly.

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I.M.

answers from Jacksonville on

T.-
Potty training is really up to the kids, if he is showing the physical signs like whe can pull his pants up, and is aware when pee pee is on the way - He may be "ready" However you may not be... Potty Trainging is a disipline... YOU have to be the one on top of it until he gets better control.... It's alot of work for a signle mom... Rest assured that you typically do not see teens still in diapers, and the old saying when he;s ready it will happen. Part of the problem may be when you mentioned that you worship him, parenting is not about worship... but about a balance of love encouragment disipline, and rules... If he wants to do big boy things, sorry honey that's for boys that use the potty, etc... be sure to reward his good efforts, but don;t over do it... set limits for yourself and him.
Good luck . it will happen one way or another...

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D.H.

answers from Raleigh on

I too have a beautiful 3 yr. old boy (June 29) it was hard for me as well. I bought a potty chart with stickers. Everytime he poops in the potty he gets to put a sticker on the board and at the end of the week he gets a surprise. It was like one day he just started telling me everytime he had to go and I'd stop what I was doing and take him. He will be 3 this month and is fully potty trained. Give him some more time and eventually he'll start going on his own.

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M.P.

answers from Knoxville on

Hello~
My name is M., I am mom to 4 boys... 13,12,4, and 2. I am currently doing the potty training thing with my 2 yr old who will be 3 in August. I have come to the realization that they will do it when "they" are ready. With all of my boys, I have tried and tried and for each one of them, in their own time, it seemed like they were just potty trained over night. You can teach them what to do, then one day.. they just get it. It's amazing! But, with my little one that's potty training now, He's been doing the same thing like you said. He's been wearing big boy underwear all day, every day, for about 2 weeks but he still has been having poop accidents. Finally this weekend, I told him that the next time he has to go poop to tell me real loud and I will take him real fast to the bathroom. He thought this was funny. So far it has helped. It may get to be a little embarassing out in public, but... I would much rather deal with him sreaming "I gotta go poop!" than to keep cleaning dirty pants! He's gone twice already today, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that this is it! You might think this is crazy, but I hope this helps some. Every child is different. Good luck!
~M.

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S.G.

answers from Charlotte on

I am having the same problem with my 3 year old daughter. She will only poop in a pull-up or diaper. I finally told her if she wouldn't poop in the potty, she had to put on the pull-up herself. (Too bad she can't clean up after herself, too!) I spoke with our pediatrician about it and he told me not to worry, she'll eventually get it.

She did poop in the potty once for my sister-in-law. My daughter said she would poop in the potty again if her Ti-ti came back. Too bad, Ti-ti lives in Puerto Rico!

Other friends keep telling me to hang in there. So that's what I'm doing.

Good luck!

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T.C.

answers from Nashville on

I tried everything with my 3 yr old son...stickers, m&ms, rewards, hugs, toys. everything to get him to go to the potty on his own. I finally had it one day and told him that it makes Mommy very sad that he poops and pees in his pants and I don't like cleaning it up so for now on you are going to clean it up and Mommy is going to clean you with a cold shower" (shower only last a couple of minutes, long enough to get all the mess cleaned up). I would then reinforce the going to the potty and no cold shower, mess in your pants-cold shower. One week of cold showers everytime he messed in his pants and he is going on his own! If I see him doing the peepee dance I just ask him if he wants a cold shower and he runs to the bathroom!

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R.H.

answers from Jacksonville on

omg...i know what you mean. my 2nd child, who is now at the ripe age of 4 would NOT poop on the potty to save his life until a few months ago. it was frustrating...but, your son will eventually do it...i finally just put my son on the pot, made him stay in there until he was done ( i put him on there when i knew he had to go...not just b/c i thought he should poop). there was some battling and i noticed that the seat hurt the back of his legs, so i gave him a stool to rest his legs on....that helped...it had gotten to the point where my son would cry b/c his belly hurt so bad. that is how long he would hold it. but, leaving him on the potty until he was done did the trick...i was persistent w/this for several days...i finally just said...'this is the deal'....hes great now. it will happen for your son too...as parents we just have to go w/it sometimes..but, i can assure you one thing, he wont be pooping in a diaper when he is in college...so, at some point...it will happen....be patient! hope this helps...

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B.B.

answers from Raleigh on

T. -
I have a 3 1/2 yr old boy who is finally potty trained for peeing but won't sit on the potty for pooping ever - he is afraid of sitting for whatever reason. he knows to ask for a pull up to poop and knows to ask if its ok to poop in his pants ( i say gently, yes, you have a diaper on now and its ok to poop, I'd be really happy if you'd try to sit on the potty, but if you'd rather poop in your diaper that's ok - I know you will try the potty when you are ready. I also thank him for asking if it is ok to poop - which lets him know I really appreciate his asking me...)

He now can hold it all day and usually just asks for pooping diaper right after bath and before bed - so accidents are not likely anymore - and I can live with one diaper a day at night...

I used this same philosphy and words with the peeing part, too - as he was also afraid to pee into the potty for the longest time - and finally he decided he was ready...

for him it is both a fear and a control thing - both normal and no reason to rush him...he will go when's he ready and the good news is that he won't be in diapers when he's in high school or getting married, as they say...

good luck to you - I can totally relate to how frustrating it can be but just remember he's not trying to do it to make you crazy on purpose - there is an underlying reason and if you ask him what it his - he will probably tell you like mine did - then you can go from there using the right words to reassure him...

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S.S.

answers from Lexington on

at three, he may just not have control over that body function yet. boys are slower to develop this control than girls, and it is common for it to take well into age 4 to get completely comfortable with pooping in the potty. if you push too hard, you could cause sever problems with constipation, and refusal to go at all. just leave him be, and buy stock in jockey for now.

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