Potty Training - Gwynn Oak, MD

Updated on May 16, 2008
R.D. asks from Gwynn Oak, MD
20 answers

I am having the hardest time potty training my 2 1/2 yr old daughter. I always ask her if she has to go- sometimes she will but most of the time I have to force her to sit on the potty. I put panties on her but she always ends up peeing in them. She poops in her pull-up and immediately takes it off, which results in poop everywhere. I do reward her when she goes but that really doesn't work anymore. Is there a key to training? I'm willing to try anything that will help her.

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S.R.

answers from Washington DC on

When my daughter was two, I bought a potty chair that played "Old MacDonald" when she tinkled in it. After she would "make music", she would get up and dance until the music stopped. It was a tremendous success and I was able to get her trained early.

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R.G.

answers from Washington DC on

I have not started training yet I don't think she's ready yet because my daughter doesn't tell me even if I ask if she peed or pooped. A trick I do use though(for swim diapers) is I keep scissors with me and cut them off instead of pulling them down and getting poop all over my 2 year olds legs. Just a little tip. Good luck.

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G.K.

answers from Washington DC on

R. - wait till she's ready and she initiates it.

I have 5 and I don't care what anyone says, some of mine were done at 2, some at 3 and one at 4.

You can't force it, and you'll drive yourself NUTs trying to organize it.

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R.A.

answers from Norfolk on

Hi R. -

In all honesty it sounds like she is just not ready. For various reasons my son was over 4 when he potty trained but when he was ready it took less than a week and my daughter used to imitate him and would go on the potty at 1 1/2 but really wasn't ready so I had to wait. She was at least 2 1/2 I think and she would go on the potty but certainly not consistently and I had always read not to force the issue so I would just ask every once in a while wouldn't you like to be out of those diapers and one day she handed me some underwear and that was literally that. Do you have any video's for your daughter to watch? Bear in the big Blue house has a good one and there are several others as well that are all about going on the potty that make it fun.
Good luck - R. A

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K.L.

answers from Norfolk on

I would suggest a break. TAke a month off. Mark the calendar and tell her on this date we will start peeing and pooping on the potty like a big girl and there will be no more diapers. Then on that date do it. Dont ask her to potty just say, mommy has to potty come potty w/ me. TAke her w/ you and sit her down. Be very casual and matter of fact about it so she feels super comfy about it. Then afterwards praise her and give a couple m&m's or smarties as a reward. And if she doesnt pee say, thats ok, nice try, we can try later. And leave the bathroom. Try that every hour if you can.
As for bedtime. I'd give her a drink for dinner and a sip before bed. Cut off drinks about 2hrs before bed that way she will have a better chance of staying dry. Put a towel down under her if you like just in case. But night training can come later if need be. Good luck.

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R.S.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi R., I am new to this but here goes. I have a 20 year old daughter and a 16 and 9 year old son. Here is a wonderful way to train them. Kids seem to learn by teaching...Kinda on the job training hehe... Give her a doll and have her teach her dolls to potty on the chair. As she is "teaching" the dolls she will in turn be learning herself. Works great!!! Have her show the doll how to sit on the potty and do the deed. Show the doll how to wash its hands everything. Worked within days for me for all 3 kiddos.

Good Luck Lemme know how it works!!
R.

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M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

How long have you been training? Try a long term reward. When the toy store ad comes, or there is a toy that she really wants, so 'Ok, if you go potty on the potty everyday for 5 days, no missing, then I'll buy you the toy.' Make it exciting. Buy cool stickers to put on a calendar, etc. Also, try putting panties on her, with a pull-up or vinyl training pant on the outside. That way she feels when she's wet, but the other things stay dry. Encourage her to take her own pull-up off, but teach her that she's only allowed to do that when she's in the bathroom. This may mean that you will need to store a change of clothes in the bathroom for her. Even reward her when she goes into the bathroom to do this. No matter how messy. I know that sounds backwards, but the key is to get her to be comfortable in the bathroom and to take care of business in the bathroom, so you have to start somewhere.
Good luck.
M.

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B.M.

answers from Washington DC on

Hello. I had the hardest time potty training my 2 1/2 year old as well. Our pediatrician told me to reward her with special candy only if she goes in the potty. Hide it other wise. That helped. Also, there is a Dora book about potty training that really made her interested in the whole process. It has a button you press that makes a flushing sound. In the end, it really is all up to your daughter. Once she decides she is a big girl and wants to only wear panties, diapers will go away (at least during the day.) It will be like turning on a light bulb. Good luck!!
B.

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J.H.

answers from Washington DC on

Why are you forcing her? It sounds like she is not ready to potty train yet. This doesn't mean there is anything wrong with her. We had late potty trainers in our family, and now they are 9 and 7 years old and have no issues at all.
Good luck

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L.B.

answers from Washington DC on

My daughter potty trained right before her 3rd birthday. She is now 3 1/2. For a few weeks prior, she watched a video called "potty Power" and it explained everything and she felt good when she finally went on the potty. (I don't know where to get it...I borrowed it from a friend). I didn't mess with the small potty chair...I put on the small seat that goes on the toilet with a step stool for her to get on by herself. I made sure we stayed HOME and didn't leave the house for 3 days (or more if needed) and just focused on going to the potty. This was suggested to me from a Nanny. I think she caught on within a couple days. Just focus and get it over with. And yes, we took off the diapers also. I also rewarded her with a few m&m's when she did it and if she wanted something in particular ( a certain video to watch, perhaps), I used this to say..."OK, you can watch it if you go on the potty." And that's when she finally did it for the first time.

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F.J.

answers from Washington DC on

It sounds like she just isn't ready yet. Potty training cannot be forced, and if the child isn't ready she just won't cooperate. I learned the hard way with my oldest, who at 8 still has accidents from time to time. The other two I had no problems with, because I let them lead me to training. My son was more than 3.5 before he trained; I was beginning to think he'd be in kindergarten in diapers. I didn't push, though, because he was so resistant and I didn't want to clean up poop from all over - diaper changes were easier. One day he just woke up and said "I'm going to use the potty now" and he did. He never had an accident. My now 4 year old wanted to train at about 2.5, but I didn't want to because I was pregnant and figured she'd regress when her brother came. I did make the potty available to her and praised her like crazy when she used it, though, and she basically trained herself. By 3, long after her brother was born, she was done and didn't have accidents either. My suggestion to you is to back off a little bit and let her lead you - when she's ready, she'll let you know. Good luck!

F., mom to 4 under 9
http://F..typepad.com

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C.B.

answers from Charlottesville on

She's not ready. You can continue with different rewards and such, but if she isn't ready - this will stretch out forever. Peeing in panties is very different from having a little accident on the way to the bathroom.

I tried at 2 1/2 with my second child and after a couple very frustrating months and cleaing up many messes, said enough. It was like having a puppy and never knowing where I might find something. She went into pull-ups and is now 4 and potty trained. BUT, she did it at her speed which ended up being much nicer for our family all around. Plus, much less stressful for the child to perform.

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R.H.

answers from Norfolk on

ok well my first suggestions is don't ask her if she has to go. "Say it's time you go now, Go set on the potty and try" Next i wouldn't put her in pull ups when she's not at nap or going out. I would put her in reg. panties and let her deal with the consequence if the are soiled. After dirty pants and changing all the time that will grow old for her. Don't make it easy. Put clothes on she has to button or until or whatever to change her panties. Take her to the bathroom about every hour or less if necessary.
Look at it this way. What you are going is not for her but you. If she had her way she would let you changer her diaper forever. How easy would that be. You need to make it for her. by making dirty pants inconvenient for her. That way she will be motivated to train.

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S.C.

answers from Norfolk on

I have used the "Once Upon a Potty " video with my kids(6). I let them watch it in the living room while sitting on the potty. If they go we all celebrate with "potty candy"(m&m's or skittles) 1 for # 1 and 2 for #2. It is a great sign that she wants to take her pull-up off when she poops. I would praise her for it and then encourage her to next time try pooping in the potty. You may want to even dump the poop in the potty to help her put it together. I think this is one of the big steps in parenting. We are asking them to make the switch from anytime anywhere to only on the potty. Relax and try to keep it fun and low pressure like walking kids get this when they are ready but there are things you can do to help encourage them

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M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

Your daughter needs to be ready. I pushed mine hard before she was really, truly ready and it wasn't working. When I finally decided to wait, I needed to work on our relationship because I'd been so hard with her. But when she was ready, she trained in a day.

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N.B.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi, R. - It sounds like she may not be ready yet. Both of my girls were older than 2 1/2 when finally trained. Good luck. N. B.

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M.K.

answers from Washington DC on

When my oldest was little I had him line up all his
stuffed animals on the tub and had them watch and he
was supposed to show them how it was done. He was a big
boy and pooped in the toilet and we clapped and gave him
a candy bar.

My daughter almost 3,hated pooping in the toilet and would also go in her pull up. Well my husband got creative and put
coffee grounds in his underwear and asked her if she
wanted to change his pants. Well that was it. She went
in the toilet from then on saying that was so gross dad.
Good Luck!

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A.C.

answers from Washington DC on

We always kept bathroom things in the bathroom- ie the changing table was in there. So It really helped when the potty training came around- "those things are private and we keep them in the bathroom' was are stand.
The important thing to remember is ALL kids are different and take different time to train. It took forever with my son but it happened just when I thought I could take it NO MORE! We just tried not to put so much pressure on him-as first time parent we were terrified of creating weird phobia's in our son. We did talk about it alot and we did reward him- with tattoo's! He loved them, like a sticker but right there on him as a constant reminder that he went in the potty. We would always ask him-'hey- how'd you get that tattoo?' and he would tell us why. People would say to him-"Cool tattoo" and he would tell them why he got it. They have easy to put on and remove(baby oil) at AC Moore. Anyway- I guess I just saying to make it part of your normal low pressure conversation and it will happen soon enough. Don't let the outside world pressure you into thinking it's not happening fast enough- It will happen in her own good time.

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A.K.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi there,
I think they all do it, when they are ready. However, my trick to the whole thing was watching when they usually have to go (my first one would poop in the morning hours, the second one was an afternoon kid) and just put them on the potty or even the toilet and read for them even feed them while we waited. But I think you are doing the right thing letting her be in underwear instead of diapers. It will come, when she will tell you too ahead of time, until then just put her on it pretty often. Good luck, after all she is still pretty young and considered an "early boomer".....
Agi

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