Potty Training - Pasadena, TX

My daughter was nearly 5 before she would go #2 in the toilet. She would go #1, but would pull out a nightime pull up and hide in her room to go #2 in the evenings. She never had accidents, and I honestly was afraid to push her about it for fear that she would "withhold" and just not go. Her peditrician said that often children have a hard time with it. Something like they think it is part of them?? Finally we resorted to bribery and within a week she was going #2 in the potty. She really likes Pokemon so we bought 7, they sat on the back of the toilet and she knew that she could pick one for everytime she went #2 in the potty. Worked like a charm! Also worked to get rid of the nighttime diapers a short time later. Everytime she woke up with a dry night diaper she got a prize. Took 4 nights!
Best wishes

Is he in kindergarten yet? I have a friend who told her son (same situation) that he could not start school until he did ALL the business in the potty. He wanted to be in big school, so it worked! You could also try a little reward for going #2, such as a reward calander with a prize at the end of the day. Then as he progresses make the wait for the prize longer until you don't need the calander anymore. Good Luck!

I will tell you how I got my daughter to do it and it may work for you or it may not. My daughter was 2 1/2 when I did this. I knew she understood what I wanted, but I needed her to want it too. Not such an easy thing. So I told her that I didn't like cleaning her poop anymore and that she needed to use the big potty like everyone else. It was her choice to use it or not, but it was also my choice as to if she got her favorite chocolate milk, it was my choice as to if she got to watch her favorite Elmo video, and that until she could cooperate and start pooping on the potty like I ask, then I couldn't cooperate and let her hae those things that she loves so dearly. It took 4 days for her to realize that all the begging and pleading wasn't working and that the only way for her to get her beloved chocolate milk and elmo was to poop on the potty. She did it once and got it, then started going in her pants again. Then they were stopped again. She learned quick that she had to do all the time not just every once and a while and she has been accident free since that day. Over time things have changed... Barney is her favorite and I allow her 30 minutes or 1 show a day and in turn she does her job as expected. Fair trade. Some say it is bribing, but I say it is life. none of us do anything without a pay off. you just need to find your son's pay off. It needs to be something he loves equal to how much you want him to use the potty for it to work. Good Luck. Be strong. Oh and let me add that the things I picked were luxury things and not things detrimental to my daughters health. I wouldn't let her have chocolate milk, but I did let her have plain milk. Now, I let her have 1 cup a day, but she has to choose between flavored milk, decaf tea, or juice each day. Even she gets tired of the same thing and mixes it up. Eveything else she drinks I let her have freely which is water or plain milk. I am a strong believer that as a parent I should teach and let my kids learn how to make choices for themselves and stand by those choices even if they aren't the best ones. I figure at this age, she may cry about a bad choice, but as a teenager, we all will be crying at a bad choice made. hope this helps you because I can't imagine cleaning up 5 years worth of poo. Bless you for hanging in there this long.

R., you've got something on your hands when a 5 year old will not go on his own. I've had a few of him (girls, too) come through my daycare. The fact is, he is a light year apart from the older kids. If he's in daycare, he should be encouraged to go often with a group of kids. Not every establishment customize the needs of the class as a whole and I don't even know IF he is in daycare. The other thing is attachment. I just know that he is still being picked up and held like the baby of the family that he is. I'm sure he doesn't have to ask twice for much of what he desires. Time for a reality check. Stop holding his hand when walking up the stairs. Treat him like a 'big boy'. Without calling him one. Even if its raining outdoors. Give him his own umbrella and walk him to the front daycare door. don't put "goodies" in his back pack or allow him to bring "a great toy" everywhere he goes. I call these things "crutches." Things that won't make him grow-up. You HAVE to help him to go to the independant stage. I think you get the idea. Every day, ask how he did with the potty. KEEP it on his mind. This way, when he asks for things, remind him..."did you potty on yourself today?" Let him know that he has to act like a 5 year old to enjoy 5 year old freedoms. Don't fall for the "uh-I went! I tinkled! I didn't wet myself!" He knows what you mean and he'll stay your baby as long as you want him to.

A week before my now 5 year old, then a month away from FOUR was due to start pre-school and thus HAD to be potty trained, he was not going #2 in the potty. He would just play and poop in his pants. I had tried everything! This was the advice I got from the pre-school teaher and worked the first try. She said, "try this and if it doesn't work, maybe his prom date can get him to go poopie on the potty," after I got done laughing she continued with the treatment, "boys are just younger men and all men are lazy..if they have a easy route they will take it...you have to make pooping in his pants MORE difficult than stopping what he is playing with and walking over to the potty and doing the whole routine. If he poops his pants, he knows you will just come along and clean up and he can go on playing. Next time, make him clean out his pants in the toilet, take a bath and wash himself, and clean the floor,toilet, whatever that gets dirty in the meantime, plus put new cloths on." This made sense to me. Later tha day Ryan was playing with his train and did his business in his pants. I walked him into the bathroom, had him unrob,turned out his underwear, stuck his hand in it and pushed his hand and the underwear in the toilet to rinse them out. Then I made him get in the tub and handed him a bar of soap, and then when he was done we cleaned the floor, toilet and bathtub with disenfectant. Then he had to re-dress himself. This entire process took over 30 minutes. The next day I found him in the bathroom doing his business and every day after that. When boys get too old and too smart. Hope this helps!

My sister has 5 children, first 3 were girls, last two boys. The first boy had difficuly with same issue at the same age. One day his dad offered him a $5 to poop in the potty and the rest is history. Maybe it was the money or maybe it was the fact that his dad offered it, who knows. Good luck!

Ok I may get reemed for this one...

Reward him! I know it goes against every mom advice book out there but give him something every time he does a good job. My daughter was given one m&m every time she went. When she didn't, she was to clean up the mess she made. Let him know he will be rewarded for doing the deed where it goes. Don't scold him when he does not, just ask him to help you clean up the mess he made. Eventually he will associate the action with something good and will start going on his own and forget that he is supposed to get a reward. Slowly reduce the amount of the reward and he won't need one anymore. I think consistancey is key.

That has worked for me and my 4 1/2 year old. We battled it for 2 years trying to go by the book. I said screw it and did it my own way (above) and the potty rebelion ended...MOM VICTORIOUS!

We found a very good book that showed what happens to the food you eat, etc. it was appealing to children, not 'dumb'. It had cut outs to overlay the pages. It seemd to 'click' with our grandson. Nothing else had worked and many of the videos were really 'dumb'. I hope this helps. ~L.

I have five children 13, 11, 6,6, and 3. Still working on potty training my three year old. I find she is resisting, I think wanting to be a baby. Good news is, she likes the idea of getting a sticker. Maybe you could try it with him. She often says, I don't need to go, but I will give her a sticker for "trying" then she does go after all. Or sometimes not.
Anyway, it would probably also help you to notice when he "usually" need to go #2. Good luck!

Hi R.,
I know how you feel. My son is 5, going on 6 and in the last new mths we've finally got the #2 thing down. He is down to wearing pull ups at night and that's ok with me for now. It can be tiring! Basically he had to want to do it... same for mine, he did NOT want to go #2 in the toilet, i was wondering if he ever would. Sometimes we were just in the giving up mode. Finally i had to get a 'treasure box' and buy prizes. I would get little things that he could pick from and i told him he would get a prize if he went #2 on the toilet. Even at first if he would just sit and try. I would have to figure out when i thought he had to go or if he hadn't gone for a day or two, and just have him sit and remind him of a prize he would get. Eventually (and i was broke! haha) he began going on his own and telling me.. 'Mom, i went poop!' So now an easier way, i give him change for his Superman piggy bank and also if he wakes up dry in the morning he gets some coins. Seems to make him happy. I was also very worried about the school thing, but he NEVER went at school, it's like he programmed himself to go only when he was at home, all for me! Lucky me, haha. So i'm sure it will work out, but trust me, i know just how you feel. I'm sure it will turn around very soon!
I.

We had trouble potty training our son, too. One thing that helped the bm's was that my husband made a little step for him to put his feet on. He made it to kind of go around the potty and built it so that his feet would be flat (just as if they were hitting the floor). I can't tell you how much this helped.

This may sound really bad, but it was recomended to me by my boys Dr. He said that just let him be responcible for cleaning up the mess that he makes. (I have two boys. One is 4, and he wouldn't poo in the potty either for a while, but I have not tried this with my 2 year old because he is just too little.) If he gets embarased enough by what he has done he will be more willing to try pooping in the potty. Right now it is just easier for him to have you clean it up, but when it is his job to deal with then he may be more proactive in changing this habbit. It worked for my son. I did feel bad about him being embarraced and not doing anything about it, but it worked.

My daughter was reluctant to do number 2. I seperated the training into peepee training and once we were successful with that I stopped the rewards (stars on a star chart and a peice of chocolate). Then we started poopoo training and she would only get rewards if she went poopoo on the potty.

Hi R.!
I can empathize with you completely on this!!! We had similar issues with our son. I finally talked to my son's pediatrician. Turned out that he was constipated and we were given an RX for him. I think it is Miralax....check with your dr. I hope this helps.

Make sure he is getting enough fiber, too!

The RX was really simple to give him. It is in a powder form. I just mixed a tablespoon in his juice or water in the morning. When he finally realized it didn't HURT to go #2 he has been doing so well!!!

I have to agree with using "prizes" for pooping on the potty. It worked for us and for my friend's son when he was 4 1/2. The first time my daughter went on the toilet by herself, we took her to the dollar store and let her pick out a "prize", both her daddy & I, so it was a big deal. Then I kept a bag of dollar store "prizes" that she could choose from. It probably took 2-3 months for her to be consistent, my friend's son took about 6 months. You could also try a sticker chart, where he earns a prize after he gets 5 stickers in a row, you take him to the store for a bigger prize. ( I would do this after he understands the concept of getting a reward for pooping). Also, there is a website that has a lot of information on potty training resistance that was helpful to me from the University of Michigan. Search their site www.umich.edu, "toilet training resistance". They had several great ideas for positive reinforcement. Also, t.v. time is a big motivator for my daughter. She had to earn t.v. time, which meant she had to use the potty, in order to watch her favorite show. Find out what motivates your son, maybe he collects Hot Wheels or dinosaurs, etc. to use as a reward. Good luck!

I have this same issue, does he drink a lot of milk? We drank a lot of milk and I cut that out.

My son began using the potty for #1 just after 2 years old, but for two years refused to go #2 in the potty, at preschool or when out. He would go get a pull up, put it on, do his thing and then asked to be changed.
The one suggestion we tried that we got from well meaning friends and family was the worst weekend of my life; I wouldn't suggest the "no pants" method.....the idea is to withhold all underwear, pants, pull ups with the goal to earn the underwear back after using the toilet. That was a nightmare and I cried more than my son. If you hear this one, avoid it.
What did work for us is timing - at 4 1/2 years old, he had to go #2 and I stalled on getting a pull up available, when it was apparent he couldn't wait any longer, instead of the pull up, he got plopped onto the commode. It was amazing, the second he realized the world didn't stop or the toilet didn't blow up or his butt didn't explode, he was 100% potty trained.
That very weekend he 'christened' every toilet he was near and got more excited each time.
I never knew there was a fear behind the reluctancy, his pediatrician always said "boys don't like the hanging sensation", I think it's a bit more to it than that.
Try timing it so there is no waiting on toilet, it may take a few times.

Hi R..
We had a similar issue with our son as well.
He is now 6 and past it all but, when we experienced the same issues we put him on the toilet "with" his diaper "on" and let him poop that way for a while, then we slowly cut a hole in the bottom of the diaper and each time made it a bit bigger until the poop would just go right out the whole and into the toilet. I know it sounds gross but, I think it gave him the "security" he needed ? Eventually we cut the diaper off and he actually would ask for a bit of the diaper to put behind him on the toilet.......it was a strange way to "get there" but- eventually he didn't ask for the diaper at all and would just "go" all by himself. Try it...it might work?
Good luck.
:-) A.

I had the exact same problem with my son. He would go #1 by the time he was 1 1/2 years, would not wet the bed at night, never wet his pants during the day either. However, he would go #2 in his pants until he was almost five.

One of the reasons, I believe, is because he was frequently constipated and it would hurt for him to sit on the potty and try to go. Often, I would find him on all fours using the restroom in his pants. We had tried stool softeners, a healthy diet, LOTS of applesauce but he would still go #2 in his pants. I was at the end of my rope.

What finally changed all this was that I had to have surgery. I know it's crazy, but since I was laid up in bed my husband had to tend to the running of the house, which was not the norm for us. My little one only did this one time and my husband gave him a stern lecture and for 4 years now he has used the potty. I don't know what your home situation is or if your son even has bowel problems but after the "lecture" from his daddy and maintaining a healthy diet we finally had success.

Praying God will give you and your son victory over this!!!

Boys are so hard to train. I have a four year old, he was almost four before he started wearing underwear full time. The way i trained mine was by not putting any underware or shorths on him at home, he would just be walking around the house in a t-shirt. He peed on the floor maybe twice. After that i would see him dash for the restroom, it was so cute. It was almost the same for #2, i beleive it was once, thank god it was'nt runny.