Potty Training - Quincy,FL

Hi S. - there is hope in this situation. I am right there with her right now and am finally seeing some results. Do some background research on pediatric incontinence and you'll get a lot of hits on pediatric urologists.

My son is being treated by a urology clinic here in town that focuses on elimination concerns. The first thing they wanted to do is have an abdominal x-ray performed ( I did web search and this is not unusual). What the x-ray showed clearly is that his bowel was very full of soft stool and some places of very hard stool. (Sorry, TMI) What they explained to me was that even though he was regular, his bowels arent effectively clearing out the hard stuff, it's backing up the whole system and it's messing with the nerve signals we all receive to know we have to go to the bathroom. She said physically, it's just difficult to eliminate from a sitting position this way (aka the potty) because there is a lot of pressure being applied on the pelvic floor due to all of that stool.

Under the doctors supervision, he was put on an aggressive laxative regimen for a couple of days to clean out the hard stool and then a maintenance regimen to keep things soft and moving like they should. We're about a week into it and so far he hasnt pooped on the potty but the doc said that's okay. Once we're into the maintenance this week and we have dosages/timing etc. that is working for him, we'll be able to sit on the potty and he will be able to go.

My halleluja moment this morning was when he woke up dry and used the potty. It's working just like they promised. The followup from now on is going to be a reward system for new good behaviors (different from rewarding stopping a behavior). She said to only reward the behaviors we want to keep. I liked that. She said to go to the dollar store with my son and have him pick out some of those individually-wrapped toys. Those go on a visible shelf in the bathroom. We're supposed to talk about what a neat toy he gets to pick out after he goes poop in the potty. She said put the emphasis on the special toy, activity, time with grandma, etc. rather than on them using the potty. The toy is in the bathroom and they know they can have it when they poop - no nagging needed. I like that too. The last thing she recommend and actually gave me a letter to give to preschool was that he should be drinking lots and lots of water (50% of body weight in oz. water) and that he should be going pee every 90 minutes. There is even a little watch they wear that will vibrate or play a little song when it's time to go so you dont have to take them or remind them. There are other charts and rewards that will be coming - the basics are to get their bodies working properly and allow them to learn to control their elimination.

I hope my experience helps you with your grand-daughter. Please also know that I strongly recommend to not pursue the laxative approach unless she is under a doctors care.

She's old enough to know that she's got to eliminate. And old enough to clean it up after she soils her pants. No degrading, just "hey, honey, the pants and your bottom must be washed up".
Some kids think their insides are coming out (and it is...) and have a psychological adversion to flushing it down. But acting calmly and logically, they get the picture and mature into fine people like George Bush (that was a bad joke; but hope it made you laugh)

I had the same problem. My daughter wanted the baby doll who sits on the toilet and pees and poops(not literally). So we told her she could get it for Christmas only if she stopped going in her pants. We knew about what time she usually pooped and we would ask her if she needed to sit on the toilet. We bought her a Dora ring to put on the big people seat and gave her books and just really encouraged her. She finally got it! I was so relieved.....Good luck, I know how frustrating this is, oh, I just remembered, some people might find this harsh, but it really worked for us too. Whenever she did soil her pants, she had to help mommy clean them, she realized how yucky it was. It wasn't that she didn't know when she had to go, it was that she was scared. There is also a really good Potty time dvd with Elmo in it, she loved it. It took us a few months, but she finally got it:)

My niece was almost 4 (like days from it) when she finally potty trained and do you want to know how? She didnt want to get embarassed at Church because all the other girls in her Sunday School Class were Potty Trained. Keep it up she will do it. My sister and I are now Potty Training her three year old (Four in October) and my Three year old. Having the same problem as your daughter. We have tried rewards, potty charts, sturn discipline, you nme it and nothing so far has worked. My son will pee in the potty, but wont poo. My sisters son wont do either and says he just doesnt want to.

I have seven children and I've never had this problem at this late age. Your daughter should take this up with her pediatrician. Most likely ther's something going on that's causing her not to poop in pot at this age. Or the rewards are not tempting enough. Consistency and very firm discipline has to be in place though.

Bribe her which is adult for reward her

The Mother of this little girl... should spend more "potty time" with her. I potty trained my two year old by mistake. I wasnt even trying. I am a single mom and I worry about every move he makes. I watch him like a hawk. I am so worried that I would take him to the bathroom with me everytime I NEEDED TO GO POTTY. He had to stay there and play on the floor while I did my business. We did this all the time... home or away. I would even sit and read a magazine and not think anything of it. Going potty was probably the only time I got to sit down all day, so I was in no hurry. One day we were given a hand me down potty seat. A thing that goes on the regular toilet, so his tiny butt won't fall in. We were not ready to use it, but I let him try it so he would know what it is and get used to it. Soon, he was happy to sit on mommy's potty while I brushed my teeth and did my make up. One day I heard a plop plop. I turned around and celebrated and clapped and made a big deal of my little mans poop in the potty. Not a little potty.... he pooped in mommy's potty. He is just two years old... only 28 months, and he is not ready to potty train, but I am so happy to let him keep trying every morning while I get dressed. That is one less diaper I have to clean up. Your little grand daughter needs to know how good it is to go potty #2. She needs to see all of you do that every day. She needs to know that it feels good to empty things out of that end and maybe get a candy for doing it everyday. We also take a moment to look in there and I sniff and say eeeewwww stinky.... bye bye poopy. So he copies me ... bye bye poopy... and we flush, and wash hands. lately we got a new potty that has a ladder and a big soft seat that fits on mommy's potty, and he loves this. he can get up there now by himself. He will be three in December and I would love it if he were fully trained by then.

My oldest always said her poop hurt coming out and didn't like to go. I tried giving her more water/ juice and try to increase the fiber intake. Also, a little sympathy helped too. Then when it was better i let her pick out new panties and if she pooped in them they went in the trash. After, a few days she got the message and stopped soiling her pants.

I would love to know the answer to this too, because my daughter, who will be 4 in June and who's been going on the toilet to pee for like a year and a half, atleast, will not poop in the toilet! I have to put a diaper on her. I don't want to freak her out or push her, but I have tried a few things- even bribery (which usually works!) and she still doesn't want to. She actually tried several times. Got on the toilet, sat there, and a little bit came out, but that was it. So she gave up. My husband wants no part of it, but what are you supposed to do? Chain them to the toilet when they have to go?! I think not. I figure one day, she's just going to go ahead and do it all on her own. Btw, my other two kids were fully toilet trained by two years old. Goes to show how different each of our children are!

Updated

I would love to know the answer to this too, because my daughter, who will be 4 in June and who's been going on the toilet to pee for like a year and a half, atleast, will not poop in the toilet! I have to put a diaper on her. I don't want to freak her out or push her, but I have tried a few things- even bribery (which usually works!) and she still doesn't want to. She actually tried several times. Got on the toilet, sat there, and a little bit came out, but that was it. So she gave up. My husband wants no part of it, but what are you supposed to do? Chain them to the toilet when they have to go?! I think not. I figure one day, she's just going to go ahead and do it all on her own. Btw, my other two kids were fully toilet trained by two years old. Goes to show how different each of our children are!

Very normal problem. All of my kids took awhile to do that after they were always peeing in it. With my three younger kids, it was enough just to keep trying. I took them to the bathroom just as always and had them sit there for a few minutes after they were done to see if they needed to poop. If they went in their undies, they helped me put it in the toilet, wipe them, and put the undies in the washer. When they went, I told them it was great. Eventually they pooped in the potty all the time too. My oldest was terrified. For some reason, some children are. I just kept with our schedule. One day he "accidentally" went poop in the potty. He started crying hysterically. I rubbed his back and pointed out how much better it actually was, and how it hadn't been scary really. He calmed down after a few minutes and from that day on, went poop in the potty all the time. So really, the only thing I can recommend is persistence. Keep on a schedule and don't give up. My kids were all completely potty trained by 3, but my niece was 4. I have yet to meet a 5 year old who isn't. It will happen. It may just be that she is scared like my son was.