Potty Training - Mentone,CA

Updated on October 12, 2007
J.H. asks from Mentone, CA
11 answers

My husband and I have tried EVERYTHING we can think of to help our little one grasp the concept of potty training. She will be three at the end of Aug. and we had hoped she would be going off to preschool to get a little socialization with other kids her age. She absolutely refuses to go potty on a potty chair, big seat adaptor, or the real thing. We have tried M&Ms, jelly beans, sticker charts, trips to sea world (she did it for one week straight, no accidents, but the day we got back she regressed). My husband and I are ready to pull out our hair and I feel like I have failed since I am a stay at home mom and it is my 'job'. It has gotten to the point that I can tell she is going in her diaper, ask her or take her to the bathroom and she says 'no I want you to change my stinky bottom.' If I raise my voice about the stink she would rather go and take a nap, sitting in the stink they to listen to what I have to say. I know this is a test of your strong will, and the fact that we decide in her opinion everything else she does, but I really think she is old enough that she should no longer be in diapers. (thank God Pampers now makes size 7 or we would have a problem).

Any and all suggestions would be greatly apprecciated. Like I said before, we have felt like have tried it all, down to not making a big deal out of it and letting her decided when the right time would be (she will be going off to college if we leave it up to her.) :) Thanx in advance for your suggestions.

J. :)

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S.F.

answers from San Diego on

try the going to the potty video and book. I take care of a little girls who just wasn't getting it but got it after endless viewings of this. I can still hear the song in my head

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D.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

In my daycare the average age is about 2 1/2 but there have been a few slightly over 3 years old. Every child is different.

Here are some tips that may help.

Stop wasting your money on diapers or pull-ups. Take her to buy regular panties. When she wets it will send a clear message to her because it will run down her legs. I have never seen a kid not care about it. Expect accidents the first few days. The weather is warm right now so spend a lot of time outside.

Potty training off and on never works. She is either in training or she is not. If she is training, it means that she will need to be introduced to public restrooms also. In other words, if you are going to the store or out to eat, do not put her in a diaper for a few hours for convenience. As soon as you get to your destination, the first place you need to visit is the bathroom. That way, she will know that there is one available giving her no excuse to go in her pants.

Some (most in my experience) kids will not train on a potty chair. Put her on the regular toilet. Purchase an insert to make the hole smaller if she feels insecure. Supply a stool so that she can climb up on her own. Let her get her own toilet paper and teach her how to wipe herself. Let her try to pull up her own panties and offer assistance if she needs it. Let her flush the toilet when she is done and wave goodbye. Kids love to flush the toilet. Handwashing is next and should be a ritual by the way. Some kids like a handwashing song. The key here is to make going to the bathroom fun!

She might like this activity so much that she will drive you nuts, but hang in there. The initial excitement will wear off in time.

I would let her do all of the steps whether she is successful or not. Add something special when she is successful like a sticker or something. Give her a favorite treat for a successful poop!

Hold all liquids for at least an hour before bedtime. She will more than likely stay dry through the night. Get a plastic mattress liner for her bed just in case.

Steps
1. Take her shopping for panties (buy plenty) and the toilet insert of her choice.
2. Hide the diapers or get rid of them.
3. Pick a start date and stick with it.
4. Push fluids and have her sit on the toilet every hour. Do not ask her if she wants to try to go but instead tell her that it is time to sit on the toilet and try to go, and don't take no for an answer. There is a difference. If you ask her in the form of a question, then she has the right to say no but if you put it in the form of a statement or command, she does not have a right to say no.

Question = Do you want to go potty? NO! = She answered your question.

Statement = It is time to go potty. NO! = Talking back. You did not ask her, you told her.

Going potty on the toilet is serious business. I personally never allow books or toys while toileting. If she is playing with something when it is time to go, tell her that she can have it after she goes potty.

Good luck and don't worry. Eventually your daughter will potty train. You just need a stronger will!

D.

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L.S.

answers from Honolulu on

I feel your pain. Im a SAHM ( I liked your abbr.)of three girls. Potty training is definitly a task to be handled only by professionls:) US! My two year old is just getting the hang of things. It was rough at the beginning but its much better now. I did the "follow mommy" tricks. She also has a big sis and she wants to be just like her "panties" and all. Is she afraid of something? All little girls want to be "grown-ups" maybe grandma, aunties, girl cousins. We live with all kinds and it works for me "look, aunties doing it, grandma does it, mommy does it" after awhile encouraging her was all it took.Another method I used was a timer, i set it every 5 min. when she heard the beep/alarm we went to the bathroom even if she didn't always use the bathroom. It was kind of like a game for her. We made it a big deal everytime she did go and went around to let everyone know she used the bathroom. She will be three in Feb. and will be fully trained by Preschool. Thats the goal!!! I hope this helps......LS

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J.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi J.,

I'm a first time mommy to an almost 2 year old in October so I really don't know too much about potty training. I agree with the moms who say just let her wear panties and she'll get it. I just bought my daughter panties about a month ago and now she is understanding. I thought she would understand with the pull ups since they are "feel and learn" but she just wasn't getting it. Since she's had the panties she's only had about 2 accidents a week. I'm still struggling with the pooping though so I can't help you in that department.

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G.B.

answers from San Diego on

I saw others suggested this as well. We took our son to the store and he picked out his favorite big boy underwear. I put that on him exclusively. He HATED the way it felt - so much different than the diaper that wicks away the moisture.

I just put "plastic" over the couch and a water proof pad under his sheet and braced myself for lots of laundry. I was amazed at how fast he decided he didn't want to mess up his "new and favorite underwear"

Hope that helps!

G.

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A.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

J....there is a new diaper specifically for training. when they go in it it turns cold. They are by Huggies, called "COOL ALERT" alerting them with uncomfortability that this is not ok. im just starting them myself. just an idea! GOOD LUCK

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D.V.

answers from Los Angeles on

Dont stress too much about this. My son just turned 3 in July, and about 2 weeks before his birthday he started pooping and peeing in his potty. We tried all the tricks and treats early on then just stopped bugging him. I think sometimes the parents stress the kids out over it. You might try getting her some fun underwear, let her pick it out. Good luck! Dont be too strick with her, potty training should not be something that they are afraid of. I let my son take a book with him when he has to poop!
D.

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R.N.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi J.,

I started training my son at two and a half and it was very frustrating, he wouldn't even try the potty chair. As we got closer to his third birthday i found this dvd in amazon.com "potty power" it is in my opinion very annoying for grown ups but right after he watched it the first time, he run to the big toilet and poop, he was very proud and so was i. From that point on he kept going by himself but only on the big toilet because he said he was now a big kid, and now that he is 4 he stays dry during the night and he even goes to the bathroom during the night without telling me, he is doing great. Now, i attributed the success to the dvd but later on i met a lady who told me that as a mother of 3 kids she noticed that 3 is the perfect age to start potty training....Good luck.

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M.C.

answers from Honolulu on

I say forget about potty training, just completely back off. Obviously, your child knows what to do, she has just decided not to do it now. One day, this too shall pass. (ha ha) She will realize that panties are more grown up or comfortable or whatever is important in her little mind and she will announce that the time has come. If you have the luxury of staying home with her a little bit longer, skip the preschool until she is ready. If she ever asks about preschool, tell her the reality is she can't go until she wears panties. (maybe she is resisting because she does NOT want to go to preschool, kids are pretty smart).

An instructor in a child development class told me once:
"there are 3 things you cannot make a child do: eat, talk, or use the potty." So these are not the battle grounds that you should choose, because you will lose.

good luck!!

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M.S.

answers from Milwaukee on

Hi J.,

I am a SAHM to a 4 yo and 18 mo (both girls). My 4 yo started preschool last September so we were in your shoes last summer, panicking that she wasn't potty trained before her scheduled start date. Since she was so much into princesses we decided to do away with diapers and went straight to princess underwear. Initially we thought pullups were the way to go and they make princess pullups but it seemed to only delay her progress. She was excited about the pullups but she still peed in them. But it only took several accidents in underwear to get her running to the bathroom. And we told her that she needed to be pottytrained before she could start preschool and luckily, she was really excited about preschool so that motivated her too. She still wears a nighttime pullup because she sleeps so hard that she doesn't wake up to go potty so we are working on that now. But at preschool she has only had a couple of accidents since starting. I provide a backpack with extra clothes just in case. It makes me feel better knowing she has a change of clothes and I don't get called to come pick her up due to an accident. Also, One Step Ahead catalog has waterproof pads (order 2) for the mattress just in case of nighttime accidents. They've saved her mattress many a time. I put them under her fitted sheet and they work great. It will happen, don't lose faith, kids are funny that way - once they're friends are doing it they pick it up pretty quick.

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D.F.

answers from Los Angeles on

I did what other moms did. I went straight to big boy underwear. Went to Target and had him pick out his own underwear and within 2 weeks he was a "big boy" and life has been good. I was like you; I just put a non-refundable deposit on a pre-shcool that starts in Sept. so I was worried that he was not going to be able to make the time limit. Happy ending he is starting school in September and also starting soccer.

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