Potty Training - Warsaw,KY

There are bound to be middle of the night accidents which it sounds like you are prepared for but fiancée may not be. I use two sets of sheets and matress pads on my daughter so if I have to strip the bed in the middle of the night it's as easy as possible. Hope this helps a bit.

1 mom found this helpful

my son is 5 and still occasionally has night time accidents. i have him wear his daytime underwear and then put a pullups on top. this serves many purposes:

1. pullups are expensive. if he doesn't wet one night he can reuse them a few more times because they are still clean over his underwear

2. if he wets himself, he has the uncomfortable sensation of wet undies and will wake up to go potty and change himself.

3. i refuse to change wet sheets and mattress pads in the middle of the night or daily if it can be avoided.

wearing underwear still lets him be a "big boy" AND it protects the bed (and grandma's).

Of all the books I read on parenting, one of the best pieces of advice I ever took away was "Do what works best for your family." Since every child develops at a different pace, it may be hard to guage when he is able to go the whole night. I will say that when my son was almost 4 I went through about a month of washing the sheets every other night- then went several months with only washing once a week- then had a regression, then things evened out again. I was really grateful to have it overwith when my daughter was ready to night train just a few months later. I do have friends that used pullups and are still using them for their 5-year-olds just because it became a habit. Whatever you choose, just remember you and his grandmother can use a waterproof mattress so its really not doing any damage- just causing you some extra work. And don't put too much pressure on yourself or your little one. Enjoy all the things that are going right on schedule. Good luck!

We had the same issue with our three year-old a few weeks ago. The potty training was great during the day, but we still did pull-ups at night for a few weeks. When we noticed him waking-up morning after morning with no accidents, we decided to try one night without a pull-up, and he's doing great! It's probably been two weeks, and so far, no accidents.

It was something he (our son) really wanted to do. Our pediatrician did mention, though, that a lot of potty training is them having the physical awareness. If yours doesn't, it might not hurt to keep pull-ups for a few more weeks.

As for grandma - sometimes it's hard for them to realiz they're not the parent. I hope she respects your wishes as what you believe is best for you child at this time.

Good luck!

Hi T., you will be wearing yourself out and what happens is in the middle of the night you will be changing his bed not once but several times unless he has to lay in the wet. His bladder isn't fully developed yet so he can't help wetting the bed. Good Luck but I would rather keep buying the pull ups than to have to get up and changed his bed and bed clothes more than once.

If he he wetting the bed in his sleep switching to regular underwear is not going to stop this. He is still young and may be a sound sleeper. You are making more work for yourself and if you don't have a plastic protector on your mattress it will be destroyed in the process. I say keep him in his pullups and be patient. Mother of 5 and grandma of 7.

T. R
My now four year old daughter stopped wearing diapers to bed on her own. When we potty trained her we didn't even buy pulls ups. Yes, we went through a lot of underwear, but oh well. We always put a diaper on her at night, but she always woke up dry. Then one night she said she didn't want to wear a diaper and we said ok and she has never had an accident once.Our sitter was also on board with whatever we did. Best of Luck!
Karey C.

My daughters are 2 and 4 and both were fully trained before 2. i would take them to the potty every 2-3 hours until they were use to saying i have 2 potty. I would do that in the day and stop their drinking 2 hours before bed time and before they go to sleep they go to the potty and as soon as they wake up they go to the potty. you may have a few nights where an accident may happen but once your child is use to it he will be able to hold it through the nite until morning. You should not continue to buy pull ups because he will get use to it. grandma has to get on board if she keeps him because like you said it will defeat the purpose. one other thing my husband n i did was when they first started was to put their underwear over their pull ups as though they were wearing big girls panties. You may want to consider trying that and letting him know he has on big boy under pants n he has to say potty (eventhough his pull ups are under, just incase) when he's at grandma!

Switching back and forth during the day can confuse a child. We call our daughter's pull-ups her "night time panties". You can do away with the pull-up if you want, as you said you are prepared to wash sheets every morning. I will let you know that it is common for males to be bed wetters for a good long time (the males in my family stopped around 9).You could be doing laundry for a while. Their bladders develop a bit slower then females or with my family, they are heavy sleepers. You can try cutting back an liquids and hour before bed and make him visit the bathroom before bed, this will help with how much he produces.

Good luck stick to your guns, you're the mommy.

My daughter didn't stop wearing pull ups until she was close to 4, and I know some kids who have gone longer than that. I don't know if taking them off will actully "train" him to stay dry at night. It seems like kids' bodies just do this when they are ready. Hopefully it will be soon, good luck!

T.,

We let my daughter wear pull-ups till she didn't have wet ones in the morning. We waited till she had about 2 weeks of dry pull-ups before we switched her to underwear at night. She was about 4 1/2 when she finally switched over, but personal I think they all do it at their own pace. My middle boy is now 4 and still giving us problems with potty training and our 2 year old is wanting to start and has... I've been told not to rush any of them. Sadly, the only thing that seems to have helped with my 4 year old is when we started telling him that he won't be able to go to the new school with his sister unless he uses the potty all the time. We tried stickers, candy, special gifts and after doctors told us to neg. reactions... but nothing worked till he finally had a reason - to go to school with his sister again. Now, I understand my 4 yr old isn't the norm... see our house tested high for lead and so did he, so we're not sure if the lead exposer caused any damage or not... but we (preschool and family) have seen signs that it has.

Sorry, guess I got off topic a little... I don't think it will hurt for him to be in pull-ups till he has dry nights. If you want him to feel when he pees... get the ones that get cold when they wet. It might help a little.

Good luck with the potty training!

Hi T.,

Whatever you decide, yes... it needs to be consistent across the board.

One thing, make sure he is actually physically ready to go through the night without assistance. I was just reading an article the other day on potty training and it was saying that kids actually produce MORE urine in the night then they do during the day! So, night time training is much much more difficult and almost impossible if their bladder size and strength isn't strong/large enough to hold the extra urine.

Be sure to limit fluids a couple of hours before bed. We also take our daughter to the bathroom just before we go to bed. We are just starting with the night time training, she's a little over 2.

Good luck!

The question isn't what you want, but what does he need? Is he waking up dry or wet in the morning? Is he waking up dry but then wet 10 minutes later? If he's waking up wet every morning (or almost every morning) then it's too early. It's pretty normal for kids to not be night-time trained for a year after being daytime trained. It's not uncommon for 4 & 5 year olds to wet the bed at night... there's alot of reasons but mostly because their bladders just take awhile to mature. It also has to do with a deep sleep cycle preschoolers have making it harder to wake up and realize they need to pee. Waking up in a wet bed will not teach him to stay dry at night - but it will give you alot of extra work and may affect his self-confidence. Why set him up for failure?

If he's waking up dry most/all mornings then try going without. Just be sure to take him to the bathroom as soon as you get him out of bed -- many kids wake up dry but have to pee within minutes. If he's not fully awake he may miss the signals and not make it in time.

As for your grandmother... if he's not wearing pull-ups and wetting the bed every night then it's not fair to tell her she can't put pull-ups on him. She probably does care about changing the sheets and ruining her mattress. If you both feel strongly about opposite things then just don't have him spend the night at her house until he's completely nght-time trained and can go a couple weeks without accidents.

My question is: Does he ever wake up dry? If he does, then taking away the pull-ups might make sense. My son NEVER woke up dry, but finally refused to wear the pull-ups when his sister outgrew them. At that point we had to do the sheets every single day (actually every night because he would come in and wake us up) - so it didn't make a difference - he just wasn't ready. When he was about 5 1/2 he hit that maturity level and that was it.

My 3.5 year old twins were in pull-ups at night time until about a month ago. They were potty trained at 2.5 but wore pullups to bed at night. They had been dry in the morning for 4-5 months, but said they weren't ready to sleep in panties. At the 3 yr check-up the ped said not to worry unless they were 5 years old and still wetting the bed. So, about a month ago one of my girls (was sick w/ the flu) said she wanted to wear panties to bed. The other said she wasn't ready. Then about a week later, she said she was ready and all of the sudden its no more pullups. It is a wonderful feeling as a parent, but i wouldn't rush it. Are you really more ready to wash peed-on sheets rather than have him wear a pull-up until he's ready to get rid of it? Sounds like it should be the other way around.

You definitely do not want to go back and forth. Does he have to stay at grandmaws, or is it just a treat for them? If he does not have to, then I say keep him home till he is thru this transition. It sounds to me like he is ready. My 3yo will not wet the bed often, and he usually wakes himself up if he starts to pee in his sleep. The wet on his jammies usually wakes him. So, even though I will have to change his clothes in the middle of the night, I don't often have to do the bedding. Yes, if he wakes up in the middle of the night, make him get up to go to the bathroom. That's usually when we have accidents. He wakes and wets and moves to a different spot in the bed so, it doesn't bother him, this happens when he decides to take all of his clothes off and sleeps in the buff. But, like I said if his pjs get wet even a little bit, he usually wakes me if he needs help. Also, I think the limiting liquids is a good idea, but I have not been successful in implementing this...Good luck! :)

I think Grandma needs to remember how old the child is and respect your wishes. How old were her children when she had completed the toilet training? Get on board. I can understand not wanting the wet sheets every morning, but a some point the pull ups have to go. How often is he dry in the morning?

T.,

Sorry, but you are not going to "break" him of doing something that he has no control over yet. His body is not ready, and aren't you lucky that you live in an era where we have these great diapers that save him the mess of wet sheets every night until his body catches up to his day time mastery?

I don't blame his grandmother either, she seems reasonable to me. He will be dry at night when his body is ready, and you will know because he will stop waking up with a wet night time pant.

In my opinion, it will happen sooner for him if you don't try to make him feel bad about his development and let the boy be comfortable in the mean time by wearing protection at night.

M.

My niece and I both wore diapers to bed until we were past 5 years old... during very different generations.

Sometimes the bladder just grows more slowly than the rest of the body. Why traumatize the poor child with wet sheets and drama every night? Also, some kids sleep so soundly that they just don't wake-up when they get "the urge". I friend had to wake her 8 year old and take her to the bathroom at night before he went to bed or she would be wet by morning.

Trust me, pull-ups are much easier and probably cheaper than doing laundry every day.

sounds like your son's grandmother wants him to wear pull-ups during the day even tho he wears underwear at home. i agree w/you that it sends a mixed message and it would be nice if she would have the same confidence in him you do. does she watch him for you during the day or is it just when visiting? if it's just when visiting, i'd ask her to visit at your house until she's ready to trust your son not to have an accident at her house. if she watches him for you regularly, it will be more difficult to address. maybe you could bring your son over one weekend day in underwear to prove he is capable, and you'd be there to clean up any accidents (which their won't be, but just to give her peace of mind). a lot of people i know say pull-ups are too much like a diaper and that's why kids sometimes feel free to go in them - i'd put him in undies at night and give it a whirl; what's it to your fiance if you're doing all the laundry?

First of all it is very common (like almost everyday) for a child to have accidents at night. My son has been potty trained for over a year. I was determine to get rid of the pull ups but he still had accidents about 3 or more times a week. I don't beleive they work for potty training but after talking with our peditrican we decided to have him wear a pull up at night. We just could not longer handle washing sheets almost everyday. The cost to dry them was killing us. Also its normal for kids to have accidents until they are five. So Good Luck.

T.,
Nighttime potty training is really a physical thing. Kids sometimes don't have a large bladder or the physical control to hold it all night. This is a case of going potty right before going to bed and trying once without a diaper. If he stays dry, then you can try again the next night and so on. Otherwise, give it a couple of weeks and try again. Sometimes he will have a grow spurt and his bladder might not catch up or he might sleep too deep to wake up at night to go potty by himself so be very patient. Just remember that this part is really about his body being ready and not about mental readiness. I think you should convince his Grandmother to be consistent with his potty training and that maybe you can find a middle ground. There are some waterproof large pads for beds that go on top of the sheets and are for absorbing bed accidents. You can easily take it off and put in a clean one in 2 minutes and will protect you mattress. Here's a link to one of those pads:
http://www.pottytrainingconcepts.com/Mattress-Pad-WLM.html

When I potty trained my kids, I purchased vinyl mattress covers for under their sheets. Your mattress will be 100% safe and you call pull off the sheet, wipe the vinyl and use clean sheets right away instead of waiting to have to wash your regular mattress protector. Less work!

I remember this dilemma with my boys. I agree with you that your son might rely on the pull ups and not make the effort to stay dry. I purchased cloth pads that tucked under the mattress. I put them over the sheet that way I wouldn't have a lot of sheets to change. I made sure they went to the bathroom before bed. I also stoped drinks about an hour before bedtime. Actually they were ready for this and it wasn't as bad as I had feared. Good luck!

I would have him go to the bathroom before bed. Then put him in potty training underwear with plastic pants. - Gerber makes some that are all one piece, thick underwear with plastic/vinyl on the outside. ~ about $8 for a 2 pack. - Then just go with it. I was scared to stop the pull ups too, but you will be surprised how happy he will be when you praise him for going all night, and being dry.
Also if he wakes up and wants water or cuddling, anything, he has to go to the bathroom before he gets what he wants.
It works. My son will be 3 Nov 24 and we've been Pull-up free for about 2 months at night. We have a few stashed for when he is sick, or if we take a long road trip.

Tell daddy that you are taking care of the sheets, not to worry. :)

Good Luck.

A.

hi T., try not to have him go back and forth between the two. is he wet most mornings when he wakes up? If he is, keep him in his pull ups, he mite not be ready yet. but try a few things first if you haven't. No drinks, except that lil sip or two rite before bed at least 2 hrs before bed. Make sure he goes pee rite before bed, even if he says he don't need to, have him really try. My lil boy (now age 5) used to tell me he didn't need to go, and after a min of trying, it was like a fire hose. So make him try. If he wakes up crying at night, good chance he needs to pee. Keep him in pull ups for now. GL...god Bless

A couple of things about potty training...first he's 3. He might be a bit young to start pulling him out of the pull-ups at night. Work on being dry during the day when he might actually have more control over it rather than when he's sleeping.

Secondly, try to relax about it. This is the one thing he has more control over than anybody else. And my next door neighbor who has twin boys were wearing pull-ups closer to 4 too. Even my daughter was wearing them around 4.

We pretty much tried to relax until we were sure the comprehension was there. When we were sure we mastered being dry during the day (she still has accidents because she doesn't want to take the time to "listen to her booty" as she says and go potty), we kept buying the same size pull-ups even though she was out-growing them. After a few nights of complaining that they weren't comfortable and she wanted to wear her regular panties, we told her, "That's going to mean paying attention and if you wake up in the night, you have to get up and go potty." She announced, "I go potty in YOUR BATHROOM!!" I told her I didn't care which bathroom she went potty in as long as she got up and went potty. That worked pretty well.

You could also use the "timer technique" in setting the timer for 20 to 30 minutes, and when it rings, it's potty time! We used that in combination with the "potty first" rule. Anytime she wanted to change activities or have a snack or get a drink, "Potty first". That way you make whatever they want be the reward. Usually they're doing that because the position they were sitting in became awfully uncomfortable because they had to go potty and don't want to take the time to do it because it's boring. Nobody "likes" to "have" to go potty...it's just a fact of life.

I would invest in a waterproof matress pad. There will always be nights when he's "extra tired" because he had a full day of activity, and might not wake up in enough time to go potty.

FOr what it's worth - and good luck!