Potty Training - Fairfield,CT

Updated on October 24, 2007
B.A. asks from Fairfield, CT
11 answers

I am a first time mom and I have a 26 month old daughter. She has shown some interest in the potty and I figured that it is about time to start potty training. To be honest, I don't really know how to start. I got the potty seat that attaches to the toilet, I got the pull up diapers and I got some toddler underwear. She loves to sit on the potty, but I can't get her to actually 'go'. I have let her go around the house with no diaper and I tell her to let me know when she needs to use the potty. She will ask to go to the potty every 20-30 minutes or so, but she never really does anything. Eventually she will ask (beg) for a diaper and I know that she really must need to go to the bathroom, but she will just hold it until I put the diaper on her. Do I have to wait for her to have an accident before she will learn?? She had an accident in the tub when she was about 19 months old and it completely traumatized her. Maybe that is why she is having such a hard time now, but I'm afraid if it happens again, she will never want to be potty trained. Any advice would be greatly appreciated because I don't really know what I'm doing! Also, if anyone can give me an idea as to how long it usually takes to potty train, I'm just curious.
Thanks B.

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So What Happened?

Thanks to everyone for the great advice!! It was all very helpful even if only to know that others experience the same thing and that I'm not doing something terribly wrong.
My daughter has finally started using the potty! Although we have a long way to go before she is fully potty trained, at least she is getting the idea of what to do. I think that we will take it in stages with the first stage, just being an introduction to the idea of using the toilet. When she seems ready, we will make the transition to using it regularly and wearing undies during the day. After that, we will try nighttime potty training. With lots of positive reinforcement, hopefully things will go well.
Thanks again to all those who responded.
B.

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T.T.

answers from New York on

Hi B., I am going through the same thing with my son, he is also 26 months old. Today is my first day training him and let me tell you it is not going well! He doesn't go eather when he's on the potty. I've tried telling him if he goes he gets a sticker but nothing! I put him in those underpants with the plastic so if he does wet he doesn't get it everywhere. Which they are good because he already wet in one and it held it. I don't know what to do eather. My problem is he will take his diapers off and say wet. But he doesn't want to go on the potty. Potty training is my worst problem with my kids I have an 8 year old daughter and she was almost 3 before she was potty trained. Everything else went so smoothe but the potty training. Well let me know if you get any good tips! Good Luck T.

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S.R.

answers from New York on

She may not be totally ready. Some children have issues with letting a part of them go into a toilet, kind of an attachment thing. Just encourage her and make sure that when you go, you take her in, so she realizes that mommy's poop and pee goes in the potty, and reinforce that big girls go in the potty. (This is no time for modesty...My son wanted to see my poop and pee before I flushed every time I went to the bathroom, and needed a demonstration from my husband to pee in the potty.) She may want to try the same. Also, make sure the potty is comfortable for her. If you use the big potty, put an instert in and a stool that is broad enough for her to turn around on and sit flat footed securely, and stay in there with her. (My son hated the potty chair because of the backsplash, but yours may be OK with it.) As a last resort, to encourage her dislike of diapers, you may want to put cotton underwear just inside the diaper. She will not like the feeling, and it may get her out of diapers faster, and onto the pot. Of course this is a bigger mess for you...

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J.H.

answers from New York on

Hi B.,

I am a first time mom of a 3 year old. She showed great interest in the potty around 2 and would go once a day. After a month or so, she stopped showing interest. I also put her in panties and she wet thru 4 different pair of underwear in 2 hours and I knew that she wasn't able to hold it yet. We gave her more time. She also wore her panties over the pull up; made her feel like a big girl. Then for a while her timing was off. She would tell us when she started going so she would have a teaspoon of urine in her panties. She is 3 now and completely potty trained without pull ups at night. It takes time for them to become aware of their little bodies. Its really a process and is really not up to us. My daughter and I would take frequent trips to the library and pick out different books about the potty. Her favorite was Annie's potty. I can't remember the author. Replace your potty language when you read the book to her. Sometimes the potty words are awkward.

Try and be relaxed about it; remember its a process. Be aware of your reactions. Don't compare yourself to other mothers children. There will always be a kid that was potty trained at 18 months. Your daughter will do it on her own time. Maybe giving the potty training a rest and just let her watch you naturally. For example, "Look sweetie, mommie is going to the potty!" Let her flush the toilet and say bye pee pee and wash hands together.

I hope this helped.

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M.T.

answers from New York on

Hi B., the amount of time it takes really all depends. Often if you wait longer, it takes less time. My daughter trained in 4 days at 3 yrs, 1 month. I started with my son at 2 yrs 11 months and it took about 2 months (to get to the point where he wasn't only using the toilet all the time but telling me had to, it only took a few weeks for him to use the toilet consistently). I purposely waited til my kids were older because I had no interest in months and months of "training" and accidents, etc. For me, it was just a personal preference to have a child in diapers than one who was kinda, sorta, but not really a little bit toilet trained.

At a little past two, many toddlers see the potty as a game, they think it's fun but they don't really recognize the urge to go yet. The use of disposable diapers and pullups don't give kids much motivation to use the toilet, even with those "feel wet" liners, when they pee, they're not really feeling wet. And if you start with pullups and she's using them as a diaper, she isn't going to suddenly stop using them as a diaper and see them as "underwear." A change to cloth can help kiddo's to understand what's happening in their body - that when you pee, you get wet, and then to recognize what it feels like just before that happens.

If she's recognizing the urge to go but still asking for a diaper, I'd suggest telling her that it's okay to pee or poop in her diaper, while she is sitting on the toilet or potty. This gives her the comfort zone of her diaper while learning that the toilet is where we "go."

With my son, I used thick cloth training pants with vinyl waterproof liner and took him to the toilet about every hour and a half, no asking if he had to go, just took him. The first 2 weeks, he'd never actually make a deposit on the toilet and would wet/soil every pair of training pants each day, but after that, he figured out that he should wait to pee or poop til I brought him to the bathroom and pretty much never had accidents after that.

Good luck!

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M.G.

answers from New York on

Hi B.
I have four and they are all different. My oldest started at 23months. I use to pretend I was using the bathroom and she will sit and use her potty seat. My twins are started using the potty around 27 months and they wore their undies around the house and every 2hrs or so I said "ok time to use the bathroom" But that might be different since they are always in competition. My youngest took the longest.I say about 31months to go by herself and 34 months to actually perfect it. She did the same begging thing when she had to go so I could put on a diaper and she also had an incident in the bathtub. So it must be linked somehow. With the youngest I tried praising when she went by herself. I hope this helped.
M.

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N.M.

answers from New York on

Hi B.,
First of all dont stress over potty training. I'm glad to hear that your daughter wants to sit on it. Trust me when i tell you she will make on the potty. Just dont force the issue. If all she can do is sit, let it be. She'll be going to the potty soon

N.

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K.C.

answers from New York on

My daughter was tough. She excels in every other area. I had been running my husband's business and my daughter was able to get through a 2 hour business meeting playing on her cell phone & writing her "notes" with crayons and paper. When it came to potty training she just had trouble. I first bought her the Elmo potty movie and "Potty Elmo" but it didn't work. Then I bought her one that's specifically for a boy or girl called "Potty Time" she enjoyed watching it over and over but didn't want to try it out. Eventually she wanted to use the potty. The only downside is she insisted on using those little potty's instead of a seat on the regular toilet (something I swore I would never do, it just disgusted me) but that's what she saw on the movies. She now has a fascination with seeing every "potty" she can and judging them. She will even tell the owner or employee of where ever we may be that they have a "beautiful potty" if she was impressed. I know everyone says not to stress out it will happen when they're ready. I actually didn't. She was a little past 3 by the time she was finally trained. Her doctor was not happy she went past 3 but that's her opinion. My daughter's great & wakes me up at night now so I don't worry too much about where she should be. I hope the movies help you.

Kim

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S.F.

answers from New York on

This is a great time to begin the process. She is at a good age. However do not force. Sice she is old enough to begin understanding the process, one day it will just click. Keep letting her sit, after a while when she requests that diapper stall, don't get it. Instead have her sit longer. Eventually she will not be able to hold it.
A helpful hint with bowel movements. They say it is easier when kids have some kind of leverage while pushing. Put a stool under her feet while she is on the bowl. This helped one of my girls.
I have 3 girls, 2 were completely trained (overnight included) by 2&1/2, but my thirs who turns 5 today, is still having overnight issues. Every child is different obviuosly, so don;t get discouraged if your friends tell you it should happen quicker. Girls are pretty quick learners, she will get it. There is no actual time frame on how long this will take. Consistency is the best though. Just do what comes natural.
Good Luck!

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Q.F.

answers from New York on

i would suggest the next time she goes on the potty, turn the water on, it will nearly force her to go. and once you hear she's going, clap and tell her good girl, ur such a big girl...or whatever comes to mind at that moment. i'm sure the reason she had the accident in the tub was because of all the water. my daughter had that problem she insists on being IN the tub while the water's filling, so she pee'd one day and got nervous, so i just said it was ok, turned off the water, let it drain, then rinse her off and fill it up all over again. i just didn't make it a big deal that she went in the tub, yet tried to remind her nicely that if she needs to go she has to say p-p and i'll put her on the toilet, or put her diaper back on. she's ok now about it. just try the water thing, maybe if she has no control over it once she's on there, and knows that it's GOOD to go on the potty, then it'll work for her. good luck.

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K.J.

answers from New York on

Hi B.,

Just reading some of your responses, I had to add a thought. My daughter (who is now 15 years old) was completely potty trained at 16 months. I think a lot of this had to do with the fact that I had her potty chair in the bathroom directly across from the regular toilet and made sure that everytime I went to the bathroom, she came with me. We would sit together and sing songs or read a few minutes from a book she would choose to bring with us. I just stressed to her that if she wanted to wear "big girl" panties like Mommy, she had to use her potty. At first, I was really stressing her out because about every 30 minutes or so I would ask if she needed to go and she would try...but again, it was just more frustrating to her, so I finally just told her that she had to let me know when she needed to go. That seemed to work and it only took a couple of days for her to get the idea. I never put her in "pull-ups" cause I just felt like that was kinda confusing. But that was just a personal preference. She had a couple of night time accidents, but I always made sure that she understood that that was OK in time she would wake up and be able to go to the bathroom by herself. I made sure that the bathroom light was left on and that her night light was working. Overall....don't stress on it too much. She will go when she is ready. I hope this helps...good luck.
K.

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R.B.

answers from New York on

I worked at a preschool for 4 years after high school. We used to potty train all the time and what worked best for all those kids was edible reinforcers. Whether it was mini M&Ms, small peoces of fruit, other little candies or chips, what ever that child LOVED. We would offer 1 or 2 just for sitting for any period (maybe at times when she wants to get up) & when they actually went, they would get a whole handful! It made the experience worth their while. =) Eventually we would have to phase that out... once they got better they only got edible reinforcers if they went, & praise for sitting, etc.
As far as time, some kids would be training for months, & we actually had 1 little girl who finally peed on the potty, realized what we wanted from her & never had 1 accident! She went on the potty from that moment on! But I'm sure that is quite rare. =)
I hope this helps, I know it's not the most pleasant thought to have food in the bathroom, but we kept a ziplock bag handy outside the bathroom that we could grab while running in there on short notice & it worked well for us.
My son is only 1, but I will most likely use this with him when he is ready after watching how well it worked in the past.

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