Potty Training - Miamisburg,OH

Updated on March 16, 2007
M.B. asks from Miamisburg, OH
18 answers

I'm trying to potty train my 2 yr old son, but he freaks out when I put him on the potty (the big one or the little one). He loves to flush the potty, wash his hands, and can tell me where "poopies" go, but he just won't sit on it. Any suggestions?

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So What Happened?

Thanks so much for all the help. I happen to catch him one time when he was about to poop and just got him to the potty. Since then, he's been better. We also found some Buzz Lightyear books (Buzz is huge in my house!) that he can only read when sitting on the potty. We aren't pushing too hard just having him sit there and read for now, and we figured if something happens, something happens. I thought we'd start more intensely as the weather gets warmer and he can run around in just his underwear.

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N.K.

answers from Columbus on

Hi. I had the same problem when I was potty training my daughter. I ended up getting a potty ring to go around the big toilet seat and she loved it. They come in designs like Dora and Sesame Street(these are the only ones I seen at Wal-Mart). Once I got one for her, she started using it. My babysitter and my mom each bought one for their houses too. Or you could just take it with you. I know it seems a little bit like a hassles to carry a potty ring around but it worked great for my daughter. After she was completely potty trained, she quit using it. Good luck! Oh I forgot to tell you that it comes with the cup you can put in front for boys.

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C.A.

answers from Cleveland on

He isn't ready yet....my son did the same thing. He is 2 yrs old too. He is now able to sit and pee on it but that is about it. My doctor said that usually good potty training for boys don't start until about 3 yrs. They are slower than girls. I wouldn't force him. I put my potty in the kitchen and let him sit on it when he wanted to even with his clothes on. Also buy some toys that he can only get if he goes, or give him a piece of candy or fruit snack. Tell him if he goes he will get such and such. This worked only for a few times but then he understands that we get excited that they went on the potty!! Good Luck and remember let him tell you when it is time.

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S.R.

answers from Toledo on

ok this won't work with poopies but it will with poee pees... use cheerios make it fun have it sprinkle cheerios in the potty then let him stand up in a pottystool and shoot at them.... if he hits them reward him make it fun. let him knwo that each time he hits the cheerios instead of his pants that eh will get a piece of candy or such.... pooping will come natural over time. this may sound nuts but my son is just over 2 and he is completely pee broke from his diapers because of this method. keep me posted on your luck one other thing there is a great elmo potty time movie that he loves all kids love elmo so this tape catches them it is a nice touch

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S.R.

answers from Toledo on

Patience. My daughter was like that; she acted like she wanted to use the toilet, but when it came time to she freaked out. I let her wear pull ups and when I went to the bathroom she went also. Eventually she realized that it wasn't going to hurt her and she started using it. You might be able to pick up a movie at the Library about going to the bathroom. That is what my daughters babysiter did with her son and just kept putting him on the toilet. Best of luck and Patience is the key!

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T.E.

answers from Columbus on

Meredith,

My husband and I just went to Children's Behavior Clinic about potty training questions we've had for our 4 year old son. The doctor there was so helpful. He mentioned that around age 2, kids typically engage in pretend play and that that is needed for them to understand a sense of self, etc. and is helpful for potty training.

So for the last few days we've been incorporating the need for characters (action figures, etc.) to go potty during pretend play. It's actually been REMARKABLY helpful for our son to understand that this is a part of life and that he needs to go - all during the day to stay dry. He takes on more initiative to do it himself too.

Also, the doctor noticed that I was regulating his liquid intake all throughout the day. He mentioned that I should allow our son to drink when thirsty - not trying to limit it as much so that he can sense when he needs to go. Allowing him to regulate his own drinking and potty habits has also been a key for our situation.

I don't know if this helps - but we've been at the end of our rope on this issue for quite some time! I'm just so glad to see improvement!!!

Have fun!

T.

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M.

answers from Cincinnati on

Your son is definitely ready. Pay no mind to anyone who tells you that you have to wait. You don't. Just be supportive, don't expect to train him 100% over a weekend (expect more gradual progress, but every pee/poop in the potty is a diaper saved and one more step in the right direction), and remain relaxed and loving and work as a team.

The easiest way for you to help him learn the connection between what comes out needs to go in the potty is to:

1) remove the diaper
2) relax about the temporary messes (whether that means hanging out in one safe room for a while, rolling up carpets, doing extra loads of laundry together) and be supportive and talk about what's happening
3) let him experience pee/poop coming out (without the diaper, preferably without any butt covering, though plain undies is better than anything waterproof)
4) once he knows the sensations that come right before the pee/poop coming out, sitting on the potty will be a no-brainer - hit your local dollar store for a few little plastic potties and keep them close by you during this period of time, gently suggest the potty but remain relaxed, no-stress, no-pressure
5) definitely always have him accompany you to the bathroom and "just try to go while mommmy/daddy goes" - you don't have to go, but you do have to try

This is the shortcut - the more waterproofing you have on him, the longer it will take (in most cases). It does involve potentially some accidents, but NEVER crying or forcing or punishment. Those are BIG no no's. The accidents are simply valuable learning lessons for both of you, really - for him (so that he can connect the sensation of having to pee/poop with the result, and then when he knows that, he can get pretty quickly learn how to get himself to the potty in time) and for you (so you can offer him the potty at an optimal time and support his learning).

Don't let anyone dissuade you with "boys potty train later" and "most kids don't potty train until 3 yrs old" -- these are all cultural expectations, not physiological truths. The reason why so many kids only want to poop in their diaper is that it is the place WE (the parents) have trained them to go for the past 2-3 yrs. The longer they poop in their diaper, the less interested they are in switching to the potty. So you can certainly wait, but just know that it's super common for these kids to pee in the potty but ask for a diaper when it's time to poop. There is another, low-stress, loving, pressure-free way. In fact, your 3 month old can use the potty too (it's amazing, NO stress, and far easier than you'd ever think, and *much* better than dealing w/ blowout poopy diapers!), and to have the 2 boys using the potty together is wonderful motivation for your 2 yr old - check out:
http://www.diaperfreebaby.org/Articles/GettingStartedBobr...
http://www.diaperfreebaby.org/PottyingPositions.htm
http://viviente.com/2005/10/how_to_do_parttime_pottytrain...

Happy pottying!

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J.M.

answers from Cincinnati on

I am also trying to potty train my 2 year old son and I have a 6 month old as well- so I understand how worn out you feel! Everything I've read and have been told says that you shouldn't push the issue and that he'll go when he's ready. With my son bribery works- we use mini marshmallows and jelly beans as rewards when he goes on the potty (to this day he refuses to poop on the potty though). My pediatrician says to keep the potty training low key and that realistically the first born son with a younger sibling won't be fully potty trained until he 3 1/2! So, it could be a long journey, but you'll get there eventually! Good luck!

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A.L.

answers from Steubenville on

Hi Meredith,
My name is A. and I have two children Alex is 4 1/2 and Chloe is 2. Alex was not completely potty trained until he was 3yrs and 3 months. He would use the potty on occasion but wasn't thrilled about it. The more I pushed the worse he did. Alex was always taking his diper off and pooping and peeing everywhere. I tried bribing him and that would work a few times but not always. All of the sudden, after Christmas he just started going all the time. I was told by freinds that their boys didn't train until around 3 and not to force him or it would take longer. At one time I put cheerios in the toilet for him to pee on. He found that fun and realy enjoyed it. He loved my husbands 4 wheeler so I printed small pictures of it on regular printer paper. On occasion, I would put one piece in the toilet for him to aim at. He loved it. Maybe you could try a sticker board with his favorite stickers for everytime he went. Don't be discouraged, encourage him to be a big boy and things will all come together.

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S.T.

answers from Cincinnati on

Don't rush him. Get either a potty training book or movie. All Available at your local library. They help. Also get a small potty and put in his favorite play area, and just let him play with it. Let him go to the bathrrom with your and his father. So he can see you all use the potty. Be patient he may just not be ready yet!

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K.B.

answers from Cincinnati on

DONT PUSH HIM! Lol...easier said than done...I got so frusterated over potty training and as soon as I stopped caring he did it all on his own. Just one day said "O no, I gotta go." And that was that. Now, I'm sure a little coaching doesn't hurt but the harder you push the harder they push back to not do it. Let him experiement with the potty, get use to it and go on his own. He'll figure it all out. Let him watch daddy and you use the potty so he knows how/what to do.

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M.D.

answers from Cincinnati on

I am currently at the end of potty training my son.He will be 3 April 30th.. This is my 2nd attempt at potty training. When we first started right after he was two, he was the same way. He didn't want to sit on the potty with clothes on or clothes off. We pushed for a few days, but after everything i've read and talked to other moms about that isn't good. I just waited and about a month ago, I would ask him to start sitting on the potty and he would. We did a potty chart he got to put stickers on and he got potty suckers when he peed in the potty. Now he tells me when he needs to go potty. I would say give it time and just let your son kind of take the lead in when he's ready. Hope that helps!

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A.M.

answers from Youngstown on

I'm going through all they potty training stuff with my 2 1/2 yr old right now. He probably just isn't ready. For now just let him get used to sitting on the potty, with or without clothes. We've tried pull ups and even plain underwear, he didn't care. He didn't have the urge to tell us when he needed to go or even when he had gone. Simply my son just isn't ready. He did and still does all the same things you said your son does, knows the potty and what your supposed to do with it, flushes the toilet, washes his hands. When we did the plain underwear we asked him about every 15-20 minutes if he had to go potty or if he went potty and always got a no but when we looked at his underwear it told us different. If his body is not telling him before he has to go or he just doesn't care he's not ready. Boys typically train later than girls, usually around the 3rd birthday is best for boys to start true potty training. Keep encouraging him and letting him get comfortable on the potty before you expect anything real to happen with it.

PS
I know the frustration of two kids in diapers, I also have a 10 mo old boy. We go through two boxes of pampers every two weeks.

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J.L.

answers from Columbus on

We got a little training potty for my son and just kept it around for about a year. He NEVER wanted to sit on it, but he did get used to seeing it and we would talk about it with him from time to time. He is now going to be 3 in August and about a month ago we finally got him to sit on the potty. Our little potty comes apart and the seat fits on the big one. He still will not sit on the little potty. (This is the same kid that refused to sit in a high chair at 14 months old!) He actually sat on the big potty with his little potty seat for about 2 weeks (10 minutes at a time) before anything actually happened. So now for about 2 weeks, he has been "putting pee in the potty" a few times a day. Each time he goes, he gets a sticker on his hand and he gets so excited!! We are trying to keep him on a regular schedule, but he still goes in his pull up or diaper (at night) sometimes. We are not teaching him to stand up and pee at this point... we figure that will come later once he masters the "when to go part."
Basically, if there is anything to gleen from us, it is that we have been VERY patient with him and have very, very slowly moved him to the potty. We did A LOT of talking and then worked it in to his routine. (One tip: we used to ask him if he WANTED to sit on the potty and he always said NO! Now we just add it in... and we give him warning that it is coming, like "We are going to have lunch, then you are going to sit on the potty, and then take your nap." and then give him count downs... "Ten minutes... Five minutes..." and he gets that. That way it is no surprise and he knows what is coming. It works very well for us. Our son loves structure.)
Some people potty train in a week, but that is NOT the way it is going in our house for sure... so don't feel the pressure to do it someone else's way!! Do it the way it works for you and your son!!
Good Luck!!! Take a deep breath.... it will happen! Just keep talking, try different approaches, and when it is the right time, he will agree.

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S.S.

answers from Dayton on

FYI, Meredith,
My son is 3 1/2 and has special needs. He isn't even started on the the potty training journey. I was told by a forum on this topic at his school that it is important to wait for them to be ready (be able to communicate they need to go, be able to undress and redress themselves, and be WILLING to do it).

Many boys, they mentioned, do tend to start later than girls. So, don't rush things. The panel said that if the children aren't ready and you try to force it and then get frustrated or angry with them it will actually cause the process to take longer.

Good luck,
Steph :)

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A.M.

answers from Columbus on

Don't push it! He will do it when he's ready. The more stress he feels from you will stress him too. I have been told there are three things you can't make them do: eat, sleep, or poop. I waited longer with my son and we were able to do it in a day but I think it was because he was emotionally and physically ready.

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A.M.

answers from Columbus on

stop trying so hard. he's not ready. he'll let you know when he's ready to try again. in the meantime, keep talking and reading books.

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S.P.

answers from Cleveland on

I agree, patients is the key. IMO most kids I know don't really potty train fully till around the age of 3 but there's always an acception ! Hopefully yours will be it! : )

S.

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M.D.

answers from Columbus on

Every one will have different views on whether kids can/should be potty trained earlier or later but, ALL kids will be trained in their own time. A lot of the process and how you handle it will be based on your attitude/personality. If you want to deal with accidents and tears then you can push it. If you prefer to be low key about it... your child will still learn to use the potty. In the big scheme does it matter if your child is trained at 2 or at 3 or even 3 1/2? With my 2 kids, I've learned that the training process will actually go quicker/smoother if you let your child lead. If your child is stressing or refusing to sit on the potty, then emotionally he's not ready just yet. Pushing is not the answer and may make the situation worse. It's great that he knows as much as he does so far and that's a great start. It all takes time! Good luck!

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