14 answers

Potty Training - Rochester,MN

Help! I'm at my witts end with Potty Training. My 2 1/2 year daughter will go poop on the potty but she won't pee. She hates pull-ups and diapers and lately only wants to wear big girl pants - but she won't pee on the potty! I could sit there with her for 1/2 hour and she won't go but ten minutes later, she will wet herself. She doesn't even seem to care that she is wet either! We have tried rewards and prizes for going on the potty and I just do not know what else to try.

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Thanks for all the wonderful suggestions! This is what we are doing - I have her in training pants with the plastic diaper covers over them. I am putting her on the potty but not pushing things at all - and we are successful about 50% of the time over the past few days. She is wearing pullups to daycare, but I also send along extra pants and training pants for her to try. Fingers crossed, we will see some more success soon.

Featured Answers

I know it sounds mean, but make her sit until she pees. This has worked for more than one of mine. They may sit for a LONG time, but once they realize they don't get to get up until they pee, they usually go right away every time.

More Answers

The most valuable thing I learned from potty training my son is that kids do it successfully exactly when they're ready and not a moment before. You can provide them with an environment that is ready for them to make the leap, but you can't *make* them do it until their bodies and minds are ready. 2-1/2 is really very young, still. I'd say take a break from it before it becomes a huge power struggle. I promise, she's not going to go to kindergarten in diapers.

I'd say remove the underwear from the drawer for awhile, give her a choice in the morning of diaper or pull-up, and tell her that she can have the underwear back when she's ready to pee in the potty - no shame, no pressure, it's totally fine for her to be in diapers still, no big deal. She may pitch a fit at first, but if she's really ready to train, it also may be the thing that pushes her over the edge. If she's not ready, then it'll give her the break that she needs for her body to catch up with her desire for "big girl underwear."

Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

I know this will sound mean, but make her wash out her own wet panties and clean up any mess on the floor or wherever! I did this with one of my children and it worked wonderfully--it only took two times washing them out to make her understand it was a lot easier going potty in the toilet rather than in her panties!

P. S. Of course, you will have to monitor the washing and make sure she washes her hands after etc--but make sure she is doing the scrubbing!

Maybe you could try dribbling a little luke warm water down her front side so she gets that feeling of going. It's supposed to work with infants, but I'm not sure about toddlers. May be worth a try.

I would say if she hates to wear diapers and pull-ups, and she doesn't care if she is wet, make her wear the diapers or pull-ups.. Tell her she has to wear them if she will not pee in the "big girl potty". It sounds like to me, she really does no how to be a big girl and can be fully potty trained just being a normal difficult little girl. I think they are all like that specially at this age.
I would just make her wear the diapers or pull-ups until she decides to start peeing in the potty. If she wants to be difficult, you can be difficult as well. She will learn it works both ways!!!! Good luck

I know it sounds mean, but make her sit until she pees. This has worked for more than one of mine. They may sit for a LONG time, but once they realize they don't get to get up until they pee, they usually go right away every time.

Hi, ugh. Very frustrating. Try these two things and see if they work. THey worked for me. First tell her she can wear big girl undies when she goes pee in the potty everytime for one week. Two, if she can sit on the potty by herself, leave the room. Perhaps she is intimidated or uncomfortable with you in there. Pee is noisier than poop and maybe she doesn't want you to hear her pee. I hope this helps. - K.

For my son it was all about the underwear, its all he cared about. So we would start the day in underwear and then when he peed in them we would take them away and make him wear a pull up. He hated not getting to wear his underwear so much that he finally stop wetting them. and we would make a big deal about not peeing on thomas or diego (what ever underwear he wanted).
Good Luck, every kid is different.

She is trying but just hasn't developed the muscle control yet to know how to relax when she is on the potty for pee. It will probably come soon for her since she has figured out pooping. Keep things positive and unstressed. Now that it is coming up on summer, let her run around outside with no clothes and a potty nearby. If you do any coaching when she is on the potty it should revolve around her trying to relax as much as possible.

Kids have minds of their own! My oldest daughter did the same thing. She would sit on the potty 10 times a day sometimes for 20 minutes and never go. I ended up buying those plastic over underware and let her wear her big girl underware but put the plastic ones over them so your not going through 5 outfits a day. It doesn't take long for them to not like feeling wet and she'll put it together. My oldest also went backwards when my 2nd daughter was born for like 2 months as well. Good luck I hope this helps:-)

Have you told her that big girls don't pee in their "big girl" panties? Maybe tell her until she goes pee on the big potty,she needs to wear the pull-ups. If she doesn't like wearing the pull-ups, maybe this would be an incentive.

I know you have some good advice here, so I won't go into it much. I found though if I run water while the kids are on the potty, it will make them tinkle. Might try that with her. I wouldn't ever leave a child on the potty for a half hour, it makes it worse then time out. Try a few minutes and if she doesn't go, wait a half hour and try again until she does go.

Potty training can be the most stressful time. I have 3 children (9,7,4) and sympathize with you. They are 2 1/2 years apart each too. The first boy was a nightmare, although we had the opposite problem....would pee but no poo on the potty. I really wanted him trained before the next one so I asked my pediatrician about it. She said not to push it otherwise the stress could cause more problems(constipation and need for enemas...yuck) and "remember they all learn eventually....he won't still be wearing diapers when he goes off to college" :) He also pointed out that with a new baby on the way, this might not be the best time. Many children already potty trained will "relapse" when the new baby comes. With no control of all the changes with a new baby many children will control what they can during this time.....potty and eating.... We decided to put off potty training until he was about 3 and then we were more successful. With this knowledge.... the other 2 we just waited until just before thier 3rd birthdays and both were fully trained in 1-2 weeks and very little stress. I know the extra diapers were a hassle, but lowering the stress level was worth it. The plastic pants over the underpants is a great idea. They feel messy and wet, but it's not all over your house. :) Good Luck!

A little about me:

Married SAHM with 9 year old boy, 7 year old boy and 4 year old girl


I am having similar problems with my daughter as well. She will go poo-poo but not pee...it is very frustrating! I've always been told that pooping is the harder of the two to train. I've backed off a bit (my daughter is about 20 months old and going to the potty since she was 18 months.) Hopefully that will encourage the situation.

Let me know if you get any good advice that works!

She can't wear big girl pants if she's not a big girl, i.e., going potty in the potty. And it doesn't really help to take her there when she doesn't have the urge either, though others may have suggestions as to how you can get her to relax and release when you know she does need to.

Try the pull-ups with the cool-alert; that's what got my son to dislike being wet, and it seemed to help it "click" what it felt like when he needed to go. Then get some of those plastic pants, Walmart has some by Gerber, to contain any accidents once you're ready to let her try big-girl pants again.

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