Potty Training 2 Year Old Boy Showing Signs of "Readiness" but Won't Go in Potty

Updated on October 26, 2009
M.S. asks from Fullerton, CA
15 answers

My son just turned 2 in September. He is showing all the signs of being ready to potty train--stays dry for 2-3 hours at a time, tells me before he goes pee and poop, wants to be changed as soon as he goes, loves his big boy undies (or being naked)--but he will not go on the potty. We have a little potty and the seat that goes on the toilet. I decided to start trying a few weeks ago. He was excited for the first 2 days, went #1 and #2 on the potty (without my prompting from me) and only had 2 accidents. The 3rd day he didn't want anything to do with the potty and did not go #1 or #2 for 6 hours. I got worried and put a diaper on him. He still refused to go. He woke up wet from his nap but I decided to put potty training on hold until we met with his pediatrician the following week. She told me that he was still young and if he's "holding it" for that long he's not ready. I don't want to force him or make this a battle. I'm just wondering how to encourage him to use the potty since he is showing the physical signs of readiness. Any suggestions?

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M.C.

answers from Honolulu on

Just let him make the decision. Show him where his undies are and tell him that if he wants to wear them, he can. Also let him know that if he wants to switch back, he can ask you for a diaper.

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C.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi. I think I know what you're going thru right now. It just feels like forever for them to finally leave the diapers. My daughter was potty trained at 2.5, but really didn't "master" number 2 until close to her thirth birthday (those months in between felt like forever). What I learned is that it will happen when they are ready. One day they want to try, the next they don't. We used stickers for motivation, and lot's of encouragement (till this day, she feels it's a great accomplishment to pooh, and we can't contradict her, it is!). So be patience. Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.H.

answers from San Diego on

For our daughter I did a potty party. I decorated the bathroom, taught her doll how to go potty, then she had her doll go potty. After that everytime our daughter went potty or sat on the potty she got to move farther along on the candyland trail, periodically getting prizes(the dollar store is great for this) and then when she reached the candy castle she got an extra special prize. We played games and all of her potty books were placed in a container and are right next to her potty. By the end of the day she was using the potty by herself, then grandma came over with extra special surprises for her. We didn't go anywhere for a couple of days after just so se could really get used to the process. She has had some accidents but that is to be expected.
GL!

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D.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

i never put any pressure on my son..i let him potty train himself basically but i would roll his stroller into the bathroom w/ me and i would let him see me go to the bathroom and i would tell him..this how big people go to the bathroom..he soon followed suit..yep he sits on his potty to pee and stands at the regular toilet..i made the mistake of keeping him in pullups too long..b/c i was worried..i did praise him when he'd sit on the potty..clap and say YAY!!! he loved it..made him feel really good.

so show your son..praise..don't stress...when you're out and about take him into the bathroom when your gut tells u its time to pee..my son can hold his pee forever..i think boys don't go as often as we do..my so will sleep thru the night and not go once..for 11 to 12 hours..me? i'm up a few times a night..it sucks.

also let your son hear u talking about it..my son was in the office of the preschool we were starting and he heard the teacher talking to me about his potty training...i said.."he still doesn't tell me when he has to go" then we gabbed about that..and he listened to us..and started telling me immediately after.

i let him train all year from 2 to 3...he's 3.5 and i love not having to buy diapers...and i have to say he did a better job potty training than i did!

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L.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi M.,

My son showed signs of readiness too at 2 years old but he still wasn't really ready until he was almost 3. A lot of boys are like this. My son is a September baby too. When he was 2 and 11 months - we finally told him no more diapers. (He was starting preschool and even though they would change the diapers we knew he was ready but we needed to force him). Labor day weekend, we made him walk around with no underwear or diapers - he had a couple of accidents then used the potty that weekend. By the 2nd day we got him to poop too.

You know your son and whether or not he's ready to "force the issue". If he's not, just keep trying as you have been been and hope he just starts doing it on his own. By his 3rd birthday, if he hasn't gone on the potty, you can probably force the issue a little more. You just don't want to start a battle over it because he'll win that one.

Once he starts doing it, reinforce it with a positive behavior chart... give him stickers for days he stays dry and after a certain number of stickers get him a special treat.

Hope this helps! Good luck!

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S.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

If he's not sitting at the potty to go to the bathroom, than he's not ready. I know it's frustrating, but believe me, you don't want to make it a battle, and have him never want to use the bathroom. I really believe it's easier to let the child lead the way, hard as it may be. Maybe wait a few months, and try it again.

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T.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

Starting potty training with a 2 yr old is tough b/c of the possible power struggle. If you're feeling stressful, try again in 6 months like I did and be sure pick a time where there won't be major changes to his routine (i.e. moving, school, traveling, etc).

In the meantime, you could continue showing him how to use the potty, like letting him know when you or hubby use the bathroom, or explaining him that you get a treat every time you use the bathroom (I told my kids I get ice cream every time I go; works everytime). Staying consistent will help him slowly make the connection.

Good luck!

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J.W.

answers from Los Angeles on

I would say let it go for a while. If you force it, it just takes that much longer to accomplish. My dd is the same way. She shows all the signs of being ready including sitting on the potty with clothes on but the second I try to put her on without clothes she laughs and runs away.

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T.C.

answers from San Luis Obispo on

He knows that he can use the potty when he wants to, he showed you that already. Potty training is all about when HE is ready, both physically and mentally. It sounds to me like too much emphasis was put on him needing to sit and go. I would back off and let it be his idea! He will go when he is ready. There will be something that helps trigger it for him.

I would discourage you from giving him treats for going potty. Treats in my opinion are nothing but asking for trouble. Pottying, sleeping, and eating are all things that we as parents can't control. When the children figure that out, some will try to manipulate situations to their benefit. For example, my oldest was stubborn and refused to sit on the potty (even though, I knew she needed to go). She would potty fine all day for the daycare. When I picked her up, she refused to potty, so we left. She wet her pants in less than 5 minutes! She was the one in charge of this aspect of her life, and she knew it.

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S.S.

answers from Santa Barbara on

M.-
My son showed all the signs and had initial success, just like your boy. I put myself through 8 months of agony, because he constantly had accidents and then just stopped. At age 4, he decided it was time to be a big boy. There was never an accident after he decided it was time. Be careful of a power struggle, because he will win every time.
S.

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M.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi M.,
That's great that he is showing signs, but if he won't sit on the potty then you just can't push it. I bought a little potty to put into my bathroom and I asked my daughter if she wanted to go pee pee in it everyday every since she was like a year and a half old. I knew she wasn't going to use it, I just put it into her mind everyday. (a few times a day) Now she is 2 1/2 and is 100% potty trained. I still put a diaper on her at night time, but she stays dry 80% of the time. She basically potty trained herself. It was amazing. I feel very lucky that she was mature enough to do this. But, this would be extremly unusual for a boy. If they are potty trained at 3 years old your lucky.
Anyway, I have this wonderful online potty training book that you can have. If you email me at ____@____.com, I will forward it to you. (and anyone else who might need it)
Good luck, and remember, your son is still very young to potty train, so just relax.
Good luck!
M.

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S.O.

answers from San Diego on

My son was the same way. We started potty training at 16 months because he showed all the signs of being interested. Hubby and I stressed about it for 2 months. My son had lots of accidents. Then I got preggo with my daughter and we had to put potty training on the back burner because of my risky pregnancy. So my son went back to diapers. Then at age 2.5 we started up again. This time we had the added benefit of him being in preschool where they take the kids to the potty at regular intervals. They don't force the kids "to go", but they just walk them to the bathroom and ask if they want to try sitting on the potty. If they go, they get a couple of Skittles as a reward and lots of praise. IF they don't, no big deal. So we just continued the same type of schedule and rewards systems at home. But this time we didn't stress about it. He wore Pullups the whole time. We would ask him to go several times a day. If he went, he went. If he didn't, well try again in a couple of hours. But the day he turned 3 (he was at preschool) something just clicked and he got it all on his own. He pooped in the potty for the first time on his own where he told his teacher he had to go and that was it. He is now 4.5 years old and still has some pee accidents (at night, when he's sick, or when he's too distracted to go).

So I'd say to give the potty training a break for a couple of months and then try again. Your son will get it in his own time. Just keep talking to him about it and show him how Mommy and Daddy go pee like Big Kids. He'll get it.

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K.D.

answers from Dallas on

My friend used stickers, her son could pick one or two to put on his chart right there in the bathroom. Maybe something you could try is a smaller potty, maybe he decided he is a little afraid of the big one right now. Good luck!!

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S.A.

answers from Honolulu on

Have you tried a small potty?! My friend's first child only wanted the big potty with the little seat on it, and her second wanted nothing to do with the big toilet and only wanted the "small potty". It's just a preference thing sometimes...

Or, maybe he really just isn't fully "ready". For my daughter, it took a looong time to be "fully" potty trained. She would do great without diapers for a few days, then wanna go back to diapers, then she'd want big girl undies but had lots of accidents, etc, etc... we went back and forth, back and forth, for months....I never really "pushed" though. If she wanted to use potty then great! If not, it was "ok"...

Finally, one day, SHE decided she was DONE with diapers, just like that - didn't even want to see her diapers anymore! LOL She almost never had accidents after that- she now even wakes up dry in the morning, runs in my room and tells me she needs to go (even though she always wears a "just in case pull-up" at night - she still won't go in it). She was about 2 yrs 4 months by the time she was "fully trained" (but keep in mind, that girls often tend to be fully trained earlier than boys).

If you don't push too hard, but still continue to 'encourage' the potty, I think it makes it lots easier, then when "they" are "ready" - that's it! They've got it! Hope this helps!! :) Good luck!

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K.K.

answers from San Diego on

Maybe he doesn't want to sit...after all, if he watches daddy he is seeing that daddy doesn't sit. Try letting him go outside in the corner of the yard...little boys love stuff like that. Once he has the telling you he has to go part down, introduce him to the inside toilet. Much less stressful, your boy will think he is getting to do something fun and you won't have to clean up a mess in the bathroom.

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