October 17, 2008,
S.S. asks from Glen Burnie, MD on October 15, 2008
Potty Training 2-Year Old Interrupted by Birth of Younger Sibling
My daughter was on the fast track to success with potty training until the new baby arrived. Loads of other changes have been forced on her as well, unfortuately: Daddy is gone now for the Army (right after birth of baby), travel to both of our families in 2 different states, one minute she was in daycare, the next the baby was here, she was on break from day care and daddy's gone, loads of new family members in her face....you get the picture. So, now when I suggest going potty on the big girl potty, she adamantly says, "NO!" and runs away. I have been relegated to the diaper duty for her still. I have tried paying lots of attention to her, giving her a potty book, letting her have the opportunity to go when I go, clapping, singing and making a big deal out of it when she does go......... And I don't want to force it, b/c I don't want the potty to be a playing field for a battle of wills for months and months to come. How are others handling their potty training issues? What has your trial and error taught you? Thanks, ya'll!
So What Happened?™
Well, I decided to just lay off the whole intense potty training deal for about a week and only mildy, occasionally suggested it from time to time, and when she said no, I simply just let her be. Following that, I began asking her more regularly if she wanted to go sit on the potty, or I would simply put her on the potty before bath time, in the morning when we got up, etc...and just make it matter of fact, like, "oh of course! It's time to sit on the potty!" Also, her day care teacher is working with her every day, and it's easier now that we're not on the road traveling seeing tons of family...and we're getting more rest....our daily routine is more predictable for her also and her toddler disposition is even improving (gradually, but) quite noticeably. So thanks for all your advice...the give her some time to reset then start back in earnest after a potty vacation. Cheers!!!
S.C. answers from Norfolk on October 17, 2008
Give her a break for alittle while. That many changes and issues she is probably feeling out of control. Let things calm down and get back into a routine...THEN try again. Good luck.
L.R. answers from Washington DC on October 16, 2008
Kids can't control much, but they can control two things: Whether or not (and what) they eat and whether or not (and where and when) they use the toilet. She's seeking some control in a very confusing new world for her -- dad's suddenly gone, little brother's suddenly here. Give her that little bit of control and drop attempts at training for now. Go with your very good instincts and, as you say, don't force it. I'd stop entirely for a while. It's a hassle to have two in diapers but right now she needs reassurance and the pressures of potty training (even the helpful books and singing and praise are pressures to her right now) won't help with that. Potty training requires a kid to be calm and contented and willing and she's not there and won't be for a while. Good luck and congrats on George!
1 mom found this helpful
R.S. answers from Washington DC on October 16, 2008
I'd completely stop bringing it up for a couple weeks at least, and then start up again in a very releaxed and positive manner.
K.H. answers from Dover on October 16, 2008
I wanted to potty train my oldest before her sister was born, but opted not to...considering that the changes would possible turn all my efforts into a failure. Even though changing diapers for 2 is hard work (I know), sounds like she needs a bit of time to adjust and get use to the new changes going on in her life before anyone forces another on her.
K.T. answers from Dover on October 16, 2008
I would def stop for now. She is only just two, kids for the most part do not fully train that early, so you would probably have a battle ahead with so many things going on.
Leave the potty visible, and look for signs that she is ready (telling you she just went in her diaper, wanting to be changed out of a wet/dirty one right away. Don't make a big deal out of it if she does sit on the potty at this point. Start preping her by instead of "going potty", work on all the other steps. Work on her being able to dress and undress herself, pull up and down her pants when you change her diaper, washing her hands a few times a day. That way when she is ready to train, all of the otehr steps that make it so much easier are already in place!
I know diapering two is a pain (and expensive) but sitting on the floor with her for months with a newborn is more so. She should train much quicker if you wait until she is ready.
Best of luck!
C.J. answers from Washington DC on October 16, 2008
we just moved here from nm and i had her in pullups. she was mostly trained when we left but i just totally let it go for 2 months. the potty was available to her but no pressure. now she is back to undies everyday. the second time of training was super easy. i'm glad i just let it go for a while. then i made her part of the decision to go back to undies. good luck!
S.C. answers from Norfolk on October 16, 2008
I wold suggest giving your daughter some space so you all kind find your new normal in your house. When things have settled down then you can slowly bring up the potty again. I have used the Once Upon a Potty DVD with my kids. You can borrow it from Netflix. I also use "potty candy" I buy skittles or M&M's and they get one for #1 and two for #2. I let them sit on their potty in the living room watching the DVD.
A.S. answers from Washington DC on October 16, 2008
My daugther just really trained her 3 year old, but she was still doing #2 in her pull ups. One thing I did read in parent magazine was that if you are potty training, you will confuse the child if you put underwears on them than a pamper, you should use pull ups. also if you can try to let them wear pull ups doing the day but set aside times for the potty. Maybe after she eat her lunch, just ask "do you have to potty" also just be patience, i know that your hands are full right now, but watch it will happen and you will be so surprise. Good Luck and keep me posted.
S.H. answers from Washington DC on October 16, 2008
I've been there! I waited a few months until after our second was born to start potty training with the oldest (then 2 and 3 months). She had done it occasionally prior to that but when we really went for it she did the same as your daughter - "NO!". After reading more about it I realized that it had to be her accomplishment - not mine - and on her schedule, too. That was pretty hard for me:) Anyway, I let it go for a few months and would sometimes tell her to try/ask if she wanted to - she typically didn't want to. I'd also talk very positively about her other friends who used the potty, invite her into the bathroom to watch them when they'd go, etc... Anyway, we're giving it a shot again right now and it's going MUCH better. Her sister is 7 months old, we don't have any big travel plans anytime soon, and I'm totally not getting stressed out about accidents this time around! Completely different than our prior attempts.
In short, I'd just back off for a few months. Let her get settled in to her new life, surroundings and routine and I'll bet she'll tackle the potty pretty easily later. After all, she already knows how to she just has to decide she wants to.