Potty Training - San Diego, CA

Just coming off training my 3yo son (started a lot earlier but gave it a break when I sensed he just wasn't ready). I can tell you a book that REALLY helped me to do things perfectly this time was The No Cry Potty Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. It is a quick read. You'll find out if he is ready and if he is some simple suggestions on how to start and have a very positive successful learning experience.

The most important thing to pack in your bag of tricks is a lot of patience!
Best wishes,
M.

Hi T.,
A month before my son turned 3 we told him no more diapers and let him go out with no underwear either. We had a couple of accidents but he was trained in a weekend. A few months later when he regressed (we're not sure why) - we used sticker charts to get him back on track. He got a sticker for each day he stayed dry and after he had 10 stickers he got a new book.

Good luck!

Hi T.,

The training pants are nothing but a diaper and a waste of money. I actually just let my son go without a diaper on. We had a few accidents and now he is fully potty trained. Also, try incentives. Remember if your son does get potty trained before the baby is born, he could revert back once the baby is born. It is natural but keep encouraging him.

Hi, T.. Why not put him in big boy underwear during the day. At night, you can put his big boy underwear over his pull up or whatever if he's wetting at night. Otherwise, I'd just go with the underwear. If he's wanting to be a big kid, the trainers probably make him feel like a baby. Good luck.

I'd wait until after baby comes because your son will regress on last thing learned (and you don't want it to be potty training). I waited on all three of my kids (except last of course) for baby to come and it goes much better. They see baby getting changed and how messy it is and want to be a 'big kid' (make a big deal of that, too, about how much you love that they are a big kid and don't need baby diapers any more).

why do you want him to be in training pants so badly? My son never did those pants...he went from diapers to big boy underwear at 2 years old. I think sometimes those training pants can be confusing to kids, since they are just like diapers. He had accidents but soon enough he learned he could not go in his pants. He is almost three and is doing great. He does have a few accidents every once and a while, especially when he is playing. but i just remind him where he needs to put his pee pee.
Good luck!

Hello T.! Will your son where the gerber thick underware? That worked for my little girl, and they have liners! Hope it works out... One thing, my little girl reverted for about one week after our second was born, then it went to normal...

I also have a 2 1/2 yr old and when I trained him, we went to the store to let him pick out some big boy underweare (regular underwear) and when we got home, we "threw away" his diapers (I saved them for the coming baby). I watched him closely for the first 3 days and every time I saw him starting to go, I would run him to the potty to finish there. If he got any in the potty, he got a small snack (a fruit snack or something - just one piece) and after a few days he had the idea of going in the potty so then I had him go every 10 minutes then every 20 minutes and then 30 then 45, just enough time inbetween that I knew he wouldn't have an accident. This really worked and we skipped the whole pull up thing which can be confusing for them and expensive for you.

T.,

Since you need something that comes down easy so he can be quick if he needs to. Have you tried letting him pick out big boy undies or boxers, you may want to try swimming suites. Good luck! J.

My son refused to wear the training pants, too. He was about 2 1/2 when I first tried. We were about to move and then my husband was going to deploy, and he wasn't getting the hang of potty training so I gave it up (they say it's never good to have huge changes when potty training- I was just hoping to have it done before all of the changes happened). A few months later (he was 2 yr 9 mo), when things were more settled, I decided it was time and put him in underwear (the real stuff - no training pants). I talked about it a couple of days in advance and told him the exciting news that he was going to wear big boy underwear from now on. We have some fun designs that he loves - cars and trains and such, as well as some plain white ones just like Daddy's - and I let him pick which ones he wants to wear each day (I don't give him a whole lot of choices throughout the day, otherwise everything becomes a battle, and since potty training can be such a power struggle with many kids, I felt he should be able to choose his underwear, especially if he is mature enough to use the toilet, then he is mature enough for that freedom - and he loves making his choice! Sorry if that is TMI!!) Anyway, we stayed home for a couple of days and he did great - not one accident. I got him some mini cookies that he loved and he got two cookies each time he used the toilet to stay dry and clean. Since things were going so well, we went out to dinner the second night and he had an accident while we were out, but that is the first and only accident he has had! He did not like being wet and I think it only happened because he was in an unfamiliar environment and he was not used to controlling his bladder in strange environments. After a couple of weeks, we went from cookie treats to a sticker chart and a special reward when he filled up his chart. After a couple of months, we no longer needed that. It's now been about 6 months and I feel the diaper days are only a faded memory for him (he nighttime trained just a few months after the daytime training). We always tried to be very low key about the whole thing, especially when there was an accident (he only had the one accident during the day and he had two nighttime accidents early on in that process). But we always made a BIG deal when he used the toilet to stay dry and clean - major fanfare, and we still praise him often for that success and for being such a big boy.
He is my only experience, so I don't know if what worked with him will work with another kid. Every kid is different. His little brother is about to turn two so I am watching in great anticipation (and a little fear) for signs that he is ready. And I hope for the same "easy" experience, but expect it will be very different.
I hope the success with your son comes soon - it would be so nice if he were trained before the new baby arrives (then expect him to regress - I hear they always do when a new baby arrives!).

Hi T., first of all if your son is refussing, then you need to step in be the parent and take control of the situation. he wants the dipers cause they make him feel secure, get the regular trainig pants that are cloth on one side and plastic on the other side, it is almst impossible to potty trin a child in diapers, and at two and 1/2 he s to old to be weqring diapers anyway, at that age he should be using the toilet. Mom for 24 years and 11 years as a daycare provider. J.

Let him skip the training pants!
With both my girls, as soon as I removed the diapers they were potty trained, well, the first one in two days, the second a little longer, but it works.
Children know what's comfortable for them. Your son is certainly old enough to be on his own on going potty. Of course he'll need help with bowel movements. My youngest sure knows what she wants...when she goes she is very private...she tells me to "hide" !

Wendy

Hi,
I used the book Potty Train in less than a Day. It really worked! It has guidelines if your child is ready and exactly how to do it. My mom used it 31 years ago with my brother so I figured if it worked back then and they were still doing it today why not try it. It was fun (I know that sounds crazy) and it really worked my son had very few accidents afterwards. The book is by Azzarin and Fox, Potty Train in Less than a Day.
Good luck!!!

The fact that he won't wear the training pants is a good thing. Keep him in underpants and have him go potty often, and he'll be trained before you know it! :) Good luck on number 2!

Dear T. P,
I was in your same situation before. After buying a pack of training pants for my son and it didn't work, I just put on regular underwear and that was the only way that he learned to use the potty. He didn't like the feeling of having wet underwear, so stopped wetting them and used the potty on his own.

I didn't try pull-ups with either of my children. I was afraid it would feel like a diaper and defeat the purpose. The method I used for both of my girls was letting them go naked around the house. I also took them to the store to pick out special underwear and let them wear them around the house too. We had some accidents but, they both did really well with this. Good luck, I know how frustrating this stage can be.

Hi, T.
Well I potty trained my boys, now 16 & 14 with Glitter. You put some glitter in the middle of the toilet water. Then you ask him to go and try to hit the glitter in the bowl. As they try they get to see the glitter go around the toilet and they try to make designs and stuff. Get creative and get some different colors. He will bug you to let him try and try again. That's my story and I am sticking to it. Ha Ha

Good luck,
D. K.

Boys are tough and you have done an amazing job to get this far. Let him pick out his own. Narrow the choices. Reward him. Tell him how much you need him with the new baby and to do that everyone must show the baby how to wear Big Boy underwear. Ask why he doesn't like them maybe they bother him. Get tagless underwear. Maybe that bunch up and that has got to feel odd. Let him run around in them with nothing on.
Tell the diapers are for the baby and he is so loved but now it's time as was the helper. Good Luck

Hi T.,

Well, good luck with the potty training. For boys they may do well during the day, but night-time can be a different story. It is not unusual for boys to need a night time pull up until age 5 or so. I know this because I was a pharmaceutical rep for a drug that helps bedwetters. (by the way, I don't recommend drugs) Kids are not always physiologically ready to be potty trained. 2 1/2 is pretty young.

If it's just the plastic pants he doesn't like, I agree with the other posters- go straight to big boy underwear. Make a BIG deal about them, like let him pick them out himself. But if you still find you're struggling, it may be worth it to have two kids in diapers for a while. It's not impossible to train a kid who isn't ready, but it's exponentially harder.

Just a little note and some moms will disagree with me....you cannot force what goes in or what comes out...my son was the easiest to train because I did not try to force it AT all. I know you are anxious with another one coming but this (and what he eats) are the only things he can control.

Good luck!!

Here is what worked for me. If you have time. Set aside a good 5-7 days and just put him in big boy underwear. Take him with you to pick out the underwear with his favorite characters. Make a big deal about it. I won't lie, it is messy for the first day or two. Then after the 4th day it gets better. My son (2 years) was the same way. He was very good at the potty, but the training pull ups were an issue, untill I tried underwear. I too am expecting and was determined to have the potty thing down before this baby comes.

I also used a reward system if and when he refused to go to the potty. That could be anything you choose. We used 1 m&m candy or used stickers. We made a chart and everytime he went pee and or poo in the potty he got a sticker. When he reached a certain # of stickers (say 3 or 5, which ever you decide) he was able to pick a treat out of a bag. I filled the bag with little nonsense toys from the 99 cent store, or any 1$ deal I could find at targt or big lots.
Hope this helps

If he's doing okay with the potty, then I would just get him regular underwear as long as he can get them up and down (this is part of the training process, mastering getting his pants up and down-is he able to do that on his own?)
You should know though that it's perfectly normal for a boy to not completely potty train until they're 3. If he gets up past 3 1/2 it could mean resistance.
And most of all, don't listen to ANYONE who tells you when your child should be potty trained before age 3 so that it makes you put too much pressure on him if he's not entirely ready. You do not want to end up with a potty resistant child. It's not fun. :)

Has Dad taken him into the bathroom and shown him what to do? That is the best way for boys to learn; (in my opinion) they are very visual. Does he have a little potty chair (make sure he tucks the equipment down!)? The cheerio targets in the toilet worked well for my Nephew "Sink the cheerio!"! :0) If he doesn’t like the training pants then put him in big boy underwear during the day with no pants(epically since you get to stay home with him) making sure to tell him to listen to his body and if he needs to go potty to tell you and then run him to the bathroom, if he does make a big deal out of it!! PRAISE PRAISE, PRAISE!!! Ask him often if he needs to go and make sure you take him in there just to try throughout the day (as much as you can). Only use the diapers for naps and bed time. It sounds like he will do just fine if he already has the idea. My daughter loved the "Bear in the big blue house" potty video...FYI :0) Good luck to you....I think he will do great! Stay positive

Peace~Love~Light
V.

Hi T.!
There is a great tip on this page of GOMOMMYGO.com:
http://www.gomommygo.com/pottytraining.html
It really worked for my 7 kids!
Congratulations for caring so much about your kids to ask - You sound like a great mom.
Best,
R.

go straight to big boy underwear. and yes, definitely get in the groove of things before the next one comes. It also helps to go bear bottom for a week. My son loves Thomas the tank engine, so we got him all Thomas underwear. It is best not to give him different underwear design choices. Stick to one and be really excited about it as he is. Good luck and stick to what works for your family.

Expectations are a terrible thing. I started my son around 2 years old and it took at least 1.5 years. And that was with very little pressure on my part, he just wasn't ready. When he was ready, it was 100% since then.
Boys tend to take longer. My daughter potty-trained herself 100% at 2.5 years old (my first child is 22 months older).

Don't pressure yourself or your son, it'll just cause stress that isn't necessary for either.
Good luck and enjoy your second child, I have #3 due in less than 2 weeks!

T., you may be asking alot of a MALE 2 1/2 year old. Boys tend to take alot longer. Don't make your issue his issue. I mean that with kindness....not roughness. He just may not be able to go as far as you need him to right now. C.