Potty Training!!!!

Updated on March 18, 2008
E.B. asks from Dallas, TX
37 answers

I REALLY need tips on what to do to help make this potty training stage smoother, and easier. I'm training my oldest who's 20 months old. And I just need alot of tips of what works, and what doesn't! ANY SUGGESTIONS WILL DO!!!!

-Thanks!!!

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A.S.

answers from Lubbock on

I would reccomend at first putting a pull over the underwear.This way they feel the wetness but you dont have the mess.Then when they get better at going try just underwear.Use a little potty and then graduate to the big potty.They have them at target where the lid comes off and convert to the big potty.If it is for a boy they have flushable targets.Good luck.Pateientce is key take them often like evry 30 min if you can.Remember that it takes time cause it can be frustrating

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N.C.

answers from Dallas on

I think 20 months is a bit too early to potty train a little one. My son didn't get potty trained until he was right at 3 years old - and most of the other children in his play group were about that same age.

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C.W.

answers from Lubbock on

20 months old is early! Good luck. I say just follow their lead if they are showing signs this soon.

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J.G.

answers from Dallas on

I am a mother of 3 and grandmother of 7.
I also have an in home daycare. This is what I recommend to my parents. [I usually wait until they are two]

First, your child needs to be waking up dry in the mornings.
this way you can catch them first thing each morning.

Second, I recommend potty training spring or summer months so the child can run around in pullups. This way, when they say they need to go, you can get them there quickly.

Third and to me most important, try for 2 weeks, if things are going good, continue. If the child is resisting or not showing inprovement after two weeks, it's best to wait at least 2 months before you try again.

Most important: Don't push it

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D.R.

answers from Dallas on

My middle child just turned 2 and she was not responding at all with training and it got frustrating FAST!! Our first child was fast to start going potty in the toilet, we started at 18 mo. And she was going all the time and by herself at about 22 months, so we thought the second would be just the same. You can try until you are blue in the face to get them to learn to use the toilet every time but they will not until they are ready!! I think you are starting at the right time but use praise, whatever works for your child, we used money for the piggy bank for our first but that does not work for the second. Even though I do not like it, we tried to give our two year old a small candy whenever she goes in the toilet and tell her why she does not get anything if she goes in her pants, we have been doing this for 2 weeks and she has had only a handful of accidents. She was having that many accidents in one day! My suggestion is just try diferent things and it is whatever works for you and your child. We do still use pull-ups at night and our oldest used pull-ups at night until she was three or so but during the day only panties.

Good luck to you, I know it can be a frustrating time for you!! Hang in there and be consistent!!

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A.J.

answers from Dallas on

Most Doctors and moms of boys will tell you that 20 months is too young to start with a boy especially. start when he shows the signs of being ready. like telling you he has gone and bringing you pullups to change him...

Assuming he is ready and old enough to start training,

the best way is to set a potty schedule and put him on the potty at the same times every day (like they do at preschool they have a routine of when they go potty) you child may go potty in him pull up but setting a routine in the beginning is just to get them used to going on the potty even if at first he does not go, say good try we will try again later. and if he goes then make a big huge deal about it and give him a sticker and put it on a poster board next to the ppotty and let him put it on there and every time he goes then he gets a sticker.

go when he gets up and about every 2 hours after that. then he will learn to start telling you he needs to go.
this can take months if not years if you start too soon when they are not ready. when they are ready to do this they will be successful faster and will desire to do it. Make sure they are also verbal enough to tell you they have to go. if they are not talking yet and can not tell you they have to go then for sure they are not ready to train.

My oldest son was not trained until the age of 4 but we did not start trying to train him until 3. he was potty trained in one week end to pee pee on the potty but it took him a year until he could poo poo on the potty and from what I hear that is typical of boys. my 3 year old pee pees on the potty but not poopoo and I just dont stress about it. he will go when hes ready.

Good luck!

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H.H.

answers from Dallas on

Not sure how long you've been trying, but our son just wasn't ready at the time we began (24 months). So we held off and right around his 3rd birthday is when we tried again. This time around it only took 2 weeks and now we're fully potty trained :) So maybe she's not ready. I know that girls usually potty train a lot earlier, so not sure if my response is helpful.

Best of luck :)

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K.J.

answers from Dallas on

Well I really hate to tell you this.....DON'T force it on him!!! When my daughter started montissori school at 20 months she was not potty trained and no where near it. I tried a little but the teacher said that she would do it when she is ready. She will be 3 in may and she is now almost potty trained....cant tell you when she last pooped in her pull up!! We now reward her with quarters to put in her piggy bank. It was amazing that all of the sudden she just took it up all on her own and also I have heard that boys are a little harder to train, just dont rush it let him go at his own pace and let him be the little man that he wants to be!!

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D.B.

answers from Dallas on

Google elimination communication. Your daughter may be a little old, but it may still apply. Fascinating information.

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J.S.

answers from Dallas on

20 months old is really early to start potty training. Some kids are ready and some kids aren't even thinking about it. If you 20 month old isn't asking to sit on the potty, don't push her. I would suggest it to her but if she doesn't want to, don't push her. Don't make her feel its a negative thing. Give her a few months. Once she's actually 2 then you can focus harder on it.

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A.H.

answers from Abilene on

Simplest advice----wait til she's ready. Once that occurs, it's a snap. My daughter tried to potty-train her son at 20 months, and he would do fine sometimes then others he would wee-wee first then tell her. So she just backed off all together on the advice of her daycare. He's now 2 and has started doing the potty thing on his own. Good luck!

If you still want to push the issue, be sure to praise her like crazy everytime she does right.

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M.S.

answers from Dallas on

Hi E.,

I think 20 months is a great age to start potty training. It can be done. My son is proof - he'll be 2 years in a couple of weeks and we have him in diapers only at night. For excellent advice, please see the book "Early Start Potty Training" by Linda Sonna. And do yourself a favor: don't think this will be the hardest thing you will do and that it will be incredibly stressful. If you think that way, it will be a terrible experience. It won't be a cakewalk, but what part of parenting is?

Good luck!
M.

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S.M.

answers from Dallas on

Hi E.,

A wonderful pediatric nurse told me years ago that most children don't have the abdominal control necessary for potty training until they can run around a corner without slowing down. With our six we found that to be around 2 1/2 years of age. Several doctors have written about the same information in books that I read years ago, too. Until your child has the muscular control, you're not really training the child; you're training yourself. My daughter has adopted a much more laid back approach than I did, though. She says that when they are ready, they'll do it. Her pediatrician advised her not to push the training, and that he'd never seen any child go to school in diapers. Sometimes it takes little ones longer to catch on. Good luck.

S. Myatt, proud granny to 7 wonderful children, soon to be 8.

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R.W.

answers from Dallas on

I am sure that this may be the wrong way to go about it but bribery worked well for us. I found a toy my son (who was almost 3 at the time) was very interested in, bought a set with multiple pieces and gave him a piece every time he went to the bathroom on the potty. I tried m&m's and skittles but he was never really interested enough to do it for a couple m&m's. For months we had been just messing around with pull-ups and occasional trips to the bathroom when it was convenient for him, but he had never consistently used the toilet. He had become obsessed with these Rescue Hero's action figures. I bought a set with about 12 pieces and put them in a box. I showed him the box and told him that every time he went potty in the toilet he would get to pick out a piece. I also told him when the box was empty he would be responsible for going potty in the toilet all the time. Then we went to Target and picked out some very cool Diego and Batman underwear he could learn to wear once he learned to go potty in the toilet. I let him wear the underwear on top of his pull up to give him the opportunity to see how cool he looked in his new big boy underwear.
Within a week, the box was empty and he had gotten used to using the potty. After he got used to using the potty, he no longer liked the feel of a wet pull up. He has only had a couple accidents since we switched him over to underwear. Before I started the process, I asked our pediatrician for suggestions. He told me to be sure not to punish or take anything away if he had accidents, punishments can make kids anxious and not able to perform. Keep in mind that 20 months is pretty young to be potty trained, if she doesn't pick up on it within a week or so, you may want to let it go and try a month or so later. We stopped and started a couple times before he really caught on. I know a lot of 3 ½ year olds who are not completely potty trained yet. If you have to stop and start, be sure to let her know that it’s okay and she has not failed or let you down in any way. Also, the poo-poo part took a bit longer. Most kids I know were potty trained for a couple of months before they actually got the poo-poo part down. One thing I did learn is that you cannot force them to potty train, independent little toddlers are not going to go to the bathroom unless they decide it is time. If you treat it like it is not that big of a deal to you and that it’s their decision, they tend to be more cooperative. My son didn’t do it because I wanted him to; he only did it to get a treat. Good luck with it!

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A.M.

answers from Dallas on

There are many past potty training requests here on Mamasource.... look at the responses to this question that was posted just a few days ago.....
http://www.mamasource.com/request/8610191196087648257

search through the previous posts on Mamasource and you'll find more....

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C.J.

answers from Dallas on

I used the three day potting training guide. You have to schedule three days that you can be at home and have someone watch your other children. Put her in panties no pull ups and everytime she pee's rush her to the potty. Do this all day and by the third day she will go on her own. I was amazed at how well it worked the book said the ideal age was 20 months old. My daughter was 28 months and has been going pee in the potty with no accidents not even at night for almost 2 months now. My only real problem I am having is getting her to go poop in the potty. I have tried everything, but nothing seems to work so I hope you have better sucess.

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M.K.

answers from Dallas on

From everyone I've talked to and everything I've read, I think you are starting your daughter too early. I have a 2 1/2 year old little girl that just potty trained herself in 1 day!!! For 2 or 3 months before that I kept asking her if she wanted to go on the potty and she always said NO. Then last week, she just ripped off her diaper and said "no more diapers" and peed in the potty ever since. The saying is the closer to 3 years old they are, the easier and faster it goes. The younger they are the longer it takes and it could actually backfire on you. I think 20 months is too young. I wouldn't even begin thinking about it for another several months. They physically just aren't ready to do it even if you mentally are. Good luck.

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S.T.

answers from Dallas on

My daughter is almost 3 & we still have some accidents!! Potty training is one of the most sensitive things to accomplish with a child. My pediatricain gave me really good advice. She said do not push it at all, simply suggest it & let it go if she's not interested. this is the one thing in her life that she has complete control over, so it has to be her idea. I started taking her to the bathroom with me & everytime I went she would clap & sing me a potty song, thats how we started. I also made a sticker chart for her. At 1st she was rewarded for getting 5 stickers, a toy at the dollar store and now she has to fill up the whole chart. This was the most effective method. Good luck & remember patience, patience, patience....its a long process!!

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T.K.

answers from Abilene on

I want advice too!!! my daugheter is three and a half, please help her (me) us!

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D.C.

answers from Wichita Falls on

I am having the same trouble with my 2 year old daughter. We take one step forward and two steps back. Did you get any good advce?
I have tried the stickers when she pottys and also candy as reward systems! I don't want to push her but yet I feel like with her being 2 she should be potty trained already!

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A.P.

answers from Dallas on

E.,
Make the environment pleasant in the bathroom. I took mine every 30 minutes or so and read a book to them, sang songs, etc... Eventually they will relax and go, then praise, praise, praise. Once they realize it is a great thing they will want to continue for the praise. If your 20 month old is a boy put a ping pong ball in the toilet for him to aim at, then it is a fun game and gets the job done.
Good luck,
A.

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C.R.

answers from Dallas on

I have friends who have been potty training their children for years, literally. It took a week for my son to be potty trained, but he was 3 years and two months old and he was ready. You just have to wait until they're ready. Don't waste your time and energy and cause both of you frustration by trying to do it too soon. Don't listen to other mothers, or your OWN mother, telling you it should already be done or should be going better. Every child is different. Good luck and patience!

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W.G.

answers from Dallas on

The best advice is to be patient. If your daughter is not ready, don't push it. All kids are different and will potty train when they are ready. (That's where the patience comes in!) I did everything----potties that play music---books---pretty panties---and she loved all of that, but in the end, potty-trained when she was ready.
Hang in there!

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L.A.

answers from Dallas on

Is he ready for potty training? My doctor told us don't even try it until he's 3, right now he's 21 months. Sorry I have no tips yet.

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S.K.

answers from Dallas on

Is she ready?? My girls are 26 months old and they don't seem ready to me. Buying diapers for two is tough on our budget but I'm not going to stress about training them. My son was almost 3 before he was ready. I don't consider them trained unless they are doing both jobs in the potty and they aren't having accidents or wetting the bed. He was "trained" in two weeks. No accidents. Here's what we did: encouraged using the potty for about 6 months prior. When he started having dry diapers at night, I knew he was really ready. We bought special underwear and I told him he could not wear his big boy underwear until he was going tee tee AND poo poo in the potty. I kept a small bag of smarties in the bathroom and he got 1 for tee tee and 2 for poo. The poo was the hardest because he was scared. He actually thought the poo was part of his body and it was falling off. After several failed attempts (he'd get off the potty and go in his pull up) I sat him on the potty when I knew he needed to go and there he stayed until he went. It took 45 minutes but when he finally went, we clapped and cheered, called daddy and the grandparents and had a special treat! That was it. He went in the potty from then on. Good luck! Be patient!

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J.H.

answers from Amarillo on

I've had four, an they say if their diaper doesn't stay dry for at least two hours their bladder isn't ready to toilet train yet. If he is ready, just remind yourself to take him real often, and of course make it pleasant and act like what a good baby he is, and I also gave them raisens if they went poop in the pot , and you have to really stay at it for about two weeks, of course there may be accidents after that, but usually with concentrated effort they are pretty well trained around that time.

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A.Y.

answers from Dallas on

I started out with Hand lotion. Since Mommy washes her hands and uses hand lotion after, I would sit mine on the potty and give them hand lotion. It takes the anxiety away and is good for their skin. Let them rub it on tummies, hands legs, and it turns into a game, relaxes them and in no time flat they learn its fun to use the potty. My first try was baby powder and it dried out their skin..lol. So you may have the slickest kids on the block, but they aren't ruining their teeth with candy or screaming and running cause they are scared. Mine were 15 months and 13 months and were trained in 2 weeks. No screaming crying or temper tantrums like others I have seen.

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L.A.

answers from Dallas on

I got my girls 'pretty panties'.
If they had to 'go' and were in their pretty panties, they would dance around and run to the potty. There was a chair for them, which we called the 'big girl' potty, and a small stool infront of the comode for the 'bigger girls'.
One always used the little on, the other always the regular one.
Their desire not to soil their pretty panties helped alot in getting them trained.
The only time we used pull ups or diapers was at night when it was out of our control but while they were still taking any kind of bottle to bed with them. The biggest change we made, was to take away bed time bottles and drinks (other than a sip) atleast an hour before bed.

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R.L.

answers from Dallas on

ok, you have getting their own potty, or just getting a potty ring that goes on yours or nothing at all. you have sticker rewards, toys, candy, soda or special privlages. if they are having trouble with accidents you can set a timmer with an alarm for every 15 min. let them turn it off and go, or an egg timer , but they need to try every 15 min untill they go. wait 45 min and start again when they do. if they don't want to try long enough you can play eye spy or read them a book (prefreable one about water or someone going potty) or find the shape/color. and the girl that lives next door to me had someone act like dora and call to encourage her daughter to go. wb if you have any questions nd good luck

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B.R.

answers from Dallas on

E.,
Bless your heart. Everytime I read on this site about the frustrations of potty training, I have to respond. I'm not an expert but I wish someone had told me that every child is different and you cannot force them to be potty trained until they are ready. This is one of those issues that will take a HUGE amount of patience and it may start and stop many times before she is ready. I got so frustrated during this time and realized later that I had so little control - Finally after I calmed down and became more of an encourager and stopped stressing so much it happened! Also, stop listening to all those well meaning people who tell you about how easy it was to potty train their kids...we (as mothers) don't admit it but the peer pressure is real. Please don't stress out about this..it may not happen when you want it too but it will happen!

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D.

answers from Dallas on

I know you'll get a lot of responses saying that 20 m is too early, but I can tell you it is possible. The advantage of training at this age, is that they pretty much will accept that this is what they are supposed to do, rather than when they're 2 and 3 and know that they can manipulate things more.

First, know that your first child will be the most difficult. My 2nd and 3rd were cake, because they saw big brother(s) going and knew what to do.

The best advice I received was to just do it. Know that it's going to be messy, stressful, etc, and don't expect any magic tricks to make it happen easily. If it happens easily, just be thankful, but don't expect it. Put them in long, fitted pants and underwear. With underwear, they'll feel the wetness and won't like it. The long pants will help absorb MOST of the urine before it gets to the floor. I covered my furniture with waterproof mattress pads. Set the timer for 45 minutes, and put them on the potty every time it goes off (adjust as you see how your child works). I used M&ms for rewards for kids #2 and #3; #1 doesn't like sweets so we used Cheetos cheese balls, just one, not a handful. If you are REALLY motivated, plan to be at home for a week, not going anywhere, and keep them in undies NO MATTER WHAT. With my oldest, he went through 17 changes of undies on the first day. We only had 6 pair, so I washed everything in my house that day. I was exhausted and laying on the floor that night when my husband got home, I couldn't even move. But, the next day was a little better, and within a week, he was potty trained. Good luck!

One more thing, disciplining for accidents does NOT work at this age. It will backfire. Just be encouraging and patient.

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A.P.

answers from Dallas on

Thick cotton training pants ( just like underware) and vinyl covers over that...you can get all this a walmart. Took my son 3 days to figure out he did not like being wet and if he did have an accident I made him stand in it for a few minutes and lectured him that he would not be wet if he had gone pee in the potty. Pooping took about 2 more days. It works if you stick to it. No bribing or rewards. It's simply you like being wet and poopy or you don't. He stopped going at night also!

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H.O.

answers from Dallas on

Some children are ready at this age, my daughter was 16 months old when she started saying she wanted to go potty. We did not change anything however till she was 2 years old. We let her sit on the potty when she wanted, but made it no big deal. I used a reward system ie when she peed she got 1 smartie or M&M and 2 for poopies. She did very well and was fully "panty" day and night potty trained by 2 1/2 years old. Couple of suggestions: Don't yell when they have an accident and use either pull ups or cloth training pants.

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C.B.

answers from Dallas on

There's a good book: Toilet Training in Less Than a Day. I read it and used some of the advice in it to train both my daughters. First, it's easiest to start when your child shows an interest. If you don't start then, it makes it much harder. Second, be prepared to spend a day or two at home - clear the calendar. Give rewards - especially lots of drinks. Practice makes perfect. Lots of praise for each step - pulling down underwear, sitting still on the potty, etc. Your goal and eventual praise is for staying dry, so you end with asking about every 15-30 minutes, "Are you still dry?" And give praise if they are and practice running to the potty if they are not. Never yell at your child for having an accident - this sets toilet training back severely! I was out for a day when my youngest (who had stayed dry and taken herself to the potty on her own for 2 weeks) was training. She liked to dump the bowl from her little potty into the big potty so she could flush. After spilling it for the 2nd time, he yelled at her. She refused to go potty for another 3 months! I was rather upset w/ my husband, but just put her back in diapers and didn't say anything about it for a couple months. When she expressed an interest again, I again took a couple of days to work with her and she had it down. Good Luck and be patient.

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V.T.

answers from Dallas on

I agree with most others are saying- 20 months may be too early for this skill; 2 years old is considered the early side of normal for potty training and she's still 4 months shy of that. However, if you really think she's ready and is showing signs of readiness (telling you when she has gone or needs to go, wanting to sit on potty, etc.), my best suggestion is to get her a small potty chair and switch to pull ups. Just let her play with it and sit on it when she wants and if she accidentally goes in the potty, reward her (sticker, 1 piece of candy, whatever motivates her). I say switch to pull ups for this reason; it feels just like a diaper to the child so don't think she'll really think she's wearing underwear, but it makes life so much easier when they want to get on and off the potty throughout the day. You can simply pull it up and down quickly and not hassle with lying down for diaper changes, and it won't ruin clothes or floors when she goes in her pull up like when wearing underwear. Plus, the little symbols on the front make it possible to know if she is starting to pee (they disappear) so you'll know if she's staying dry or if you need to try to rush to the potty to pee in it. That worked really well for my son, who potty trained WAY earlier than I expected at around 28 months; by the way, his second birthday present was a potty chair.

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J.N.

answers from Lubbock on

Dear E.:

You may be doing everything right. Many babies are simply not ready to start potty-training so young. I remember hearing not to even try before age 2 for girls and two and a half for boys(no matter what YOUR mother did). Don't worry - your child will be too embarrrassed to go on her first date in diapers!

Jen

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