Potty Trained for a Year- Now Regressing! Help!

Updated on June 04, 2010
D.P. asks from Greenville, NC
6 answers

My 3 1/2 yo son has been the model of perfect potty training. He was completely potty trained at 2 1/2 years and has had no slip-ups in the last year. I thought this was all behind me until this past weekend. Out of nowhere, he has started #1 and sometimes #2 in his underwear! He was completely fine on Thursday night and he slipped up on Friday night while sleeping. We just wrote it off to an accident. However, since then, he has refused to use the potty. He may or may not go #1 in the potty, but #2 has been either in his underwear/ pants. He even went once out in the yard (which is disgusting)!! The thing is, he thinks it's somewhat amusing. We have threatened him with time outs, no special treats, etc. Nothing seems to be sinking in. Last night, he pooped and peed in the bed AGAIN. I don't know what's going on with him! Nothing has changed in his routine. He goes to the potty just fine at daycare- It's just at home that we have an issue. He even said last night that wanted a pull-up! We haven't bought those in over a year!!!
I need to mention that I am 28 weeks pregnant. We have been working on getting him ready for his baby sister, talking about things babies do, how to treat babies, etc. Could this be the problem? Or is he just rebelling? The more we talk to him about it, the more he refuses to go in the potty. I am at my wits end!!! Thanks for any advice on this one.

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K.M.

answers from Detroit on

When I was little and completely potty trained once my sister was born I regressed also I even went to get the diaper and tell them I needed to be changed. I guess it is a little scary for kids to think there will be someone to compete with. I am sure you have talked to your son about the new baby. When I was expecting my second child I told my daughter that we would have so much fun giving the baby a bath and feeding him and playing with him and that I would need her help. From the minute he was born she helped me and I included her in everything I did for him. She even woke up around the clock and would come out and sit and watch me feed him I can still see her sitting there. She was 3 1/2 years old exactly to the day when he was born. She was his Mom too LOL. Good Luck just be really excited when you talk about the new baby and how much you will need his help. Maybe even say the new baby will need the diapers so you will need to help and be a big boy and go on the potty so the new baby can have the diaper. I hope this helps and congratulations on your new soon to be baby.
Kay

3 moms found this helpful

H.H.

answers from Killeen on

Yes, the baby is the problem. Baby things seems so appealing to kids at this age. So you need to point out all the "big boy" things that he can don't and "aren't you so glad you are not a baby anymore and getting big?" Babies can't play outside, babies can't eat cookies, babies can't watch TV (if he does), think of all the cool big boy things he can do.
My 6 year gets mad about my 3 year old sometimes because the 3 year old doesn't have to eat as much vegetables, or gets help cleaning up- so we have to do a refresher what's great about being 6 and he quickly changes his tune:)

1 mom found this helpful
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S.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

It is the new baby coming. Kids are strange like that they either rise to the occasion of having a new sibling or they go backwards because they feel the new baby is getting to much attention and they want it back. this is especially true for the very first child that has never had to share the attention with anyone else before. You have done the right thing by talking to him about it, but maybe a littlle too much. He probably hears things about the baby a lot so he wants to be a baby too and have people helping him and doing things for him. this is VERY normal. The same way you have been talking about the baby talk to him about being a big boy. Ask him to help you with things and say to him" look what my big boy can do for mommy," make a big deal about the things he can do. It will pass. He just needs to be reassured that his place isn't being taken and that he is still going to get as much love and affection. Make sure when the baby comes he still gets special time with mom and dad with no baby around. It helps, always try to involve him. Can you get mommy a diaper, do you wanna sing with mommy, can you cover the baby with a blanket...ect. this things all help. Keep talking to him and just keep letting him know how much yyou love him and what a big boy and helper he is and it will go away soon.
On a side note your new little one will do thing much faster than your first because while this little one is trying to go backwards to get attention the new one will try to do things super fast to keep up with her big brother. just wanted to tell you that cause it goes so fast already but when they have a sibling to chase and try to be like it goes even faster. Good luck and congrats on the little girl you have coming. There so different!

1 mom found this helpful
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K.H.

answers from Huntington on

I think you've answered your own question!

Maybe you have come on a little strong with all the 'you're a big boy now' talk. And, of course, everyone is excited about the baby, so what better way to get attention than to be one yourself.

I'm sure you got lots of great responses. I will just add, once the baby gets here, when you can, make the baby wait while you address his needs and make sure he knows it. I used to say things so he could here them like, "Emily, you will have to wait because I am helping your brother right now." or, "I'm sorry you're crying, but Evan needs me to fix his lunch". I really think it made a difference, because usually with a baby, they always get attention first.

Good luck!!

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V.C.

answers from Wheeling on

It sounds as if he's 'playing' you just because he can. You've indicated that it brings quite a reaction from you and your husband (threatening, etc). If he's done it for a year, there's no real reason that he can't keep doing it.

Have HIM do whatever clean-up procedures that you would need to do -- put the poop in the toilet, put the underwear in the laundry, strip & change the bed -- and maybe even go as far as having him take the underwear & bedding out of the dryer, fold them, and put them away (but make that part 'fun' so he'll start helping you willingly), etc. with no scolding or scoffing -- just being matter-of-fact that if he isn't responsible for avoiding these messes, he's responsible for cleaning them up.

The impending arrival of a new baby is probably having some bearing on him -- giving him a feeling of 'displacement' or fear of being deserted or rejected in the area of attention. Also being at day-care with younger children may be part of the problem, too. If he sees younger babies being catered to when they eliminate in their pants, he wants that attention, too; and he wants to guarantee that his own sibling doesn't take over all the 'good attention'.

Oh, and make sure that doesn't happen, either! Upon the arrival of a new baby instead of affirming the older child's positive input & actions it's easy to start scolding the older child for NOT meeting expectations (while coddling and cooing at the infant).

He can be your best helper if handled right!

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L.D.

answers from Raleigh on

The other responses have been great. It is the baby. If you're only 28 weeks pregnant, there is a long time before the baby is going to get here. 3 year olds live in the now. Ease up a bit on the baby talk until it gets closer to your due date. Keep praising his big boy behavior. Don't threaten to do things, do them. You lose your authority if there is no follow through. Don't make such a big deal out of this. Have set consequences if he makes a mess, e.g., he has to help clean it up and then he loses a big boy privilege. This is a stage that will pass.

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