Potty Issues - Duncanville,TX

The books are right and you may be just trying too hard. My boys are now 12 and 16 so this was a while ago but my doctor recommended that I just relax and they'll be OK. Peeing is the fun part for guys but there is something mystical about the poop. My doctor, Dr. Dyo, says they fear that they are losing part of themselves when it gets flushed away so it is a little scary for them. Try to not worry too much and maybe don't change the pull up or pants right away. My guys didn't mind the smell as much as I did but they did finally come around to the potty. This too will pass (no pun intended) so have faith and try not to worry too much. :-)

Yes. I would make sure he is not constipated and having pain with the bowel movement. If that wasn't it. Then I would tell him that He is old enough to go on the potty. And you will get a spanking if you don't. I am through with the pull-ups.
This is what I had to do with my middle son. He would not go. He would drop his drawers and go in the driveway before he would go to the potty to go.
I know some will think it is harsh or will give him issues. But really I don't think it does, or hasn't in our household. Basically, it is a control issue for your son and as long as he is in control and you aren't then he likes it or gets some satistaction from the control. When you try to be in control by making him use the toilet he balks and fusses until you give in. And basically, he can control when he goes, he feels it. He is being disobedient and that is what I have/had a problem with.
It only took about 3 spankings to get the point across. We have no toileting issues today and he is 12.
I would advise you to consider the spanking route, since you said nothing else has worked. I would also give him some laxative so that he HAS to go. Just about 2 teaspoons of MOM. It will also help to keep them kinda soft. When he feels the dire urge, put him on and COMMAND him to go. Tell him you will not tolerate the fussing and whining and if he doesn't go he will recieve a spanking. Give him a time limit, no more of this sitting there for an hour. And stick to it. NO REWARDS when he goes. After all you just punished him. AND tell him that he will get a spanking everytime he doesn't go on the potty, or if you find dirty clothes where he hasn't gone in the toilet. PERIOD. eventually, HE will decide to go on the toilet and he is back in control along the guidelines you set up. I usually throw in there "You will get a spanking if YOU DECIDE not to use the toilet." This emphasizes that ultimately it is his decision as to whether to get a spanking or not, you are only setting up the rule. He gets to decide whether to follow it or not. And when he doesn't, then he has decided he needs some punishment. That goes along way in also teaching him to be responsible for his own behaviour. And if he doesn't like the punishments,then he needs to make better choices. Start with the toileting.
For my disciplining philosophy, I use "To Train Up a Child" by Mike and Debi Pearle. www.nogreaterjoy.com

Good luck,
L.

I just went through this same thing. I read everywhere. Tried different things. Then, I read one of these "conspiracy theory" people that think its a big ruse by the diaper companies to keep getting us to pay for diapers for another year. Okay, well, they've got nothing better to do with their lives but they did have a good suggestion. Just put him in underwear. If he goes poopy, make him clean it up. Surprisingly, as disgusting as this sounded, I did it. It took once. No more accidents on the poopy side. The next day, he had a pee pee accident and had to clean it up, and now no accidents. Just a thought.

stop giving him the pull up? let him poop in his pants and let him clean it up. i would have a different response if he didn't "know" when he needed to go, but that's a bit much.

My son is 3.5 and I just took the diapers away on Friday. I got fed up with it after he told me he needed a diaper to poop, but just was being lazy and peed in it. I took all the diapers away and told him they were all gone (I didn't like pull-ups, so we just stuck with diapers- they're the same thing, really). Anyway by Sunday he really had to go poop and walked around saying how his belly hurt and so we'd tell him to sit on the potty. He'd voluntarily sit for a minute or two and then go play, then would say his belly hurt again and go back and sit on the potty. This went on for about 2 hours and we kept him naked on the bottom (if he has underwear on, he's more likely to go in them). We would never force him to sit on the potty (makes him cry), but we just kept encouraging him to "go push the poo-poo out to make your belly stop hurting". We tried this same thing at right around the 3rd b-day and he held it for like 4 days. Oh, and I give him a teaspoon of Benefiber daily to make sure things are moving well. He eventually went and with him, we can't make a big deal about it- no cheering and all that- makes him cringe for some reason. Every kid is different- oh and when he pooped in his pants months ago he would get a good reprimand and a spanking. He knows it's wrong and would do it anyway. It may sound harsh, but hey, it worked. He went again yesterday and it only took 20 mins or so for him to do it. We went cold turkey on the diapers- no more! He is having some accidents at night, but we have a waterproof pad over the bottom sheet to catch it and I just change it- it will be nice when we can sleep through the night again- ugg!

I've potty trained 3 kids, but my 4th is stubborn when it comes to pooping on the potty! He's been peeing on the potty for months and months - doesn't have accidents, goes overnight w/o accidents - but will NOT poop on the potty! I have done the same, bribed him w/ everything under the son. Lord help me there have been some serious acts of bribery in this house, lol.

But through it all, I know he'll do it when he's ready - it's killing me, I've been changing diapers (and poopy underwear) every day of my life for 11 years and 10 months straight - so I'm desperate for him to poop on the potty, but I know it will come one day :)

My 3 yr old goes and hides in a room and poops in his underwear and will tell me when he's done (geez). But one day, one day he'll decide he's tired of it and will go on the potty - that day can't come soon enough :)

My 3rd child had a hard time pooping on the potty also, he had some other issues though - so I gave him a little more leeway (food allergies that led to intenstinal problems) - so he would hold it and hold it and eventualy become so constipated that we had to give him a suppository. That lasted about 6 months - a struggle everyday - but he finally decided it wasn't worth it and now poops on the potty just fine :)

So I know, one day, Lord help me one day my 4th child will decide, oh yes, he is ready, and will poop on the potty, and one day, your son will decide too :)

Good luck, I'm pulling my hair out with you :)

I would notate when he asks for a diaper, and once you know his schedule, grab his fav book and tell him it's story time on the pot before he asks for the diaper. If he doesn't poop, congratulate him anyway. I have no idea if it will work for poopies, but I know it works for peeing. Once they get on the pot, they loosen their muscles and it just comes out!

A friend of mine had this same issue and she would put the diaper on and let her son poop in the diaper while sitting on the potty to get the feel of it. Gradually she weaned him from diaper to potty in steps (you can cut holes in the diaper, etc so he can see the poop actually going in to the potty.) Hang in there, it will happen!

We just went through this with my 3 year old (will be 4 in September), and went through it with my 1st also. Like the other mom said, just one day it clicked and he hasn't been in pull-ups since.

A friend said to put him on the toilet backwards (no small toilet seat). The first time he tried it, it worked, who knows why. Now when he goes he props a magazine on the back while he goes. I think the distraction helps!! :)

Good luck, and don't worry, he'll get it!!

My daughter did the same thing. For some reason the whole toilet thing freaked her out when it came to bm's. I let her continue to use the pullups and we would dump them together inthe toilet and i just kept talking to her about it. I would also ask her when she was going potty if she had to go poopy. When she would do a little i would get very excited. I laid off on really pressuring her and the prizes too. She did it in her own time. Only a couple of months.

Yes, they will go when they are ready. My youngest had the hardest time pooping on the toilet. It just seemed like he couldn't get it. He would just go in his pants. Then, one day it clicked and he was fine after that.

Just be patient with him. He'll get it soon!

I agree with all the moms who say to quit buying the pullups. If he is at home, he can just wear his underwear or go "natural". I also agree with letting him deal with the mess. My sister let her son do this - asking for a pullup to poop in.... he was still doing it in Kindergarten. He would come home from 1/2 day Kindergarten, get his pullup on and go poop and then demand that his mother clean him up. It was soooooo obvious that he was "training" her. He will go when it is his only option.... I guess you could say that is "when he is ready."

I read ONce Upon A Potty to my kids--it talks about how you have to sit and sit and sit on the potty it has been around since the 70s and it is a cute and short book--good luck.

I wouldn't stress too much over him not going poopy in the potty just yet. My sister that is a nurse and also my mom that is a nurse both told me the same thing when my son was 3 and was still not going poopy in the potty. They both told me that is the last thing that they learn to control and it just takes time.
I would try rewarding him with marbels. I know it sounds silly. But I would keep a marble jar up high in the rest room and I would tell him that when the jar is full we will go get you a surprise from the store.
Of course the jar was small like a small jelly jar. And I would let him drop the marble in the jar. He would get 2 for tee-teeing in the potty and 5 for poopy in the potty.
Try it and see if you have the same sucess!
Let me know how it goes!
However....when the jar is full don't forget you have to take him to get his surprise!!!:)

I understand your frustration! I myself posted a question on this website about the very same situation and got some great tips. My son just turned 4, yesterday, and he had been potty trained (to pee pee) since he turned three, but would not poop in the potty. He would hide and go in his pants and not even tell me. I thought I would lose my mind with this! Everyone kept telling me he would get it in time but I fully expected him to go to kindergarten wearing pull ups! I tried the treats, stickers, toys, taking toys away everytime he pooped in pants, making him clean himself up, everything! He has been pooping in the potty now for two weeks PRAISE GOD! I started doing a combo of taking away a toy (which he could have back when he pooped in the potty) and 15 minutes in a no-no corner. I think it was the no-no corner and me acting really really upset and hurt, even faking crying over it which made it click for him. HANG IN THERE! They get it eventually, they all do. Good luck - T.