Postpartum Depression Advice Please

J.,

I am so sorry you are suffering. I had a small touch of PPD with my first child, which resolved itself when I finally started getting a little more sleep as she matured. I had no issues with my second, but I had much more help and did not get as tired.

I've always thought it cruel that they say "get some rest," since that is the thing that seems most impossible to do. It did seem to make a difference for me, as did not being alone, so if there are things you can let go, or have anyone that can help and make sure you get naps, try to ask for that.

Along with all the other changes of new motherhood, we often find ourselves very suddenly isolated. With my second, just having my younger daughter around seemed to improve my mood, so if your older child is in school now, you also may be suffering from isolation. Try to make sure you visit with other Moms of babies around your age, who understand what you are going through. The human (speaking) company, along with the support of others who are also experiencing the same things can definitely help.

I don't want to frighten anyyone, but this can become a very serious issue. I lost a friend to PPD through suicide when our daughters were around one, and to this day I wish I had stayed in closer touch with her after we moved away. Please, please, if you have any feeling that your depression is moving from light to moderate or severe, make sure to talk to your doctor, and your friends and family to get help. I would also urge you to include people close to you in what you are going through so they can help you, since we are not always the best judge of our own health when dealing with depression.

I wish you a healthy recovery, and much joy with your children.

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It's great that you have asked for help and are reaching out. This is an important step to recovery. It sounds like you would greatly benefit from talk therapy, here's a link to Postpartum Support International. They have local support and resources, as well as a support line you can call. I believe they will be able to advise you in other steps you can take:
http://www.postpartum.net/index.html

Here is a link that describes PPD and the symptoms:
http://www.dbsalliance.org/site/PageServer?pagename=about...

I'm also posting a direct link to Karen Kleinman's website, The Postpartum Stress Center. Check out the entire site, but this is a link to things you can do to feel better:
http://www.postpartumstress.com/things_you_can_do.html

I'd like to point out that most of the time PPD (or actually any type of depression) doesn't get better on its own. Sometimes it becomes necessary to seek professional help, whether it be therapy, meds, or a combination of both. It can get worse if not properly treated. Make sure that your Dr knows what you are experiencing, so it can be monitored. Please involve your husband in this as well, it is very important to have a strong support system in place.

Please feel free to email me! I am involved in a local support group as well as one-on-one therapy and meds. I would love to just chat if you need someone to talk to.
A.

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I highly recommend just even going to see a counselor. With any sort of depression, it often is a huge help just to hear a "professional" tell you it's normal and you're OK. And also to just get it all out - I call it "verbal vomit!"

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I also had a mild case of postpartum, but felt that it was bad at the time and the doctor gave me zoloft and I was very nervouse about the meds, but they do work and I would strongly suggest it. It will help clear up some of the fog and let you focus and help reduce the anxioty. Good luck and just remember you are not alone!

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Hi J.....I too had PPD after the birth of both my children. The first time I tried to tough it out, and I wish I hadn't. It robbed me of truly enjoying my baby. My advice is to make an appointment with your doctor today and get on an anti-depressant. You will not be sorry. I took a low dose of Zoloft with my first, and Celxa with my second. Both are OK to take while breastfeeding if you are concerned with that. Don't feel like you have to fix yourself! That's what medications are for. It is so easy to take a little pill every day and totally worth it for the amazing difference it will make in your outlook on life. I think it's sad that so many moms feel all this pressure to fix themselves and feel like a failure if they turn to medication. Do what you need to do, and don't feel bad if you can't do it alone. Here's hoping you feel better...

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Hi J.,
This sounds sooooo familiar! I am prone to depression myself, as are most of the women in my family. It can be genetic, and can be very difficult to overcome on your own. I think a lot of people misunderstand depression, and think that if we would just "pull ourselves up by our boot straps" things would be fine! But as you know, that is not the case. Wanting to feel happy does not make it so. The chemistry in your brain is off-kilter, and once you start down that slippery slope, it's really hard to make it back to normal without help of some kind.

What worked for me, almost instantly, was when my doctor prescribed Zoloft in a very small dose. That was all I needed, and it worked like a charm. I felt like myself again! It is safe to use while breastfeeding, if that is a concern to you. Whatever you decide to do, please realize that it will probably not get better on its own. You have taken the first step in reaching out for help. Please speak with your doctor about it, or a therapist, or if you are part of a mom's group, do not be shy about telling them. So many of us go through this, and you are not a lesser person or a lesser mom for having gone through PPD. Best of luck to you!

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As long as it's not severe like psychosis, the most natural remedy is, time. After 11 months it may not even be postpartum. It may just be exhaustion having two kids and a husband is a tiring job. Hang in there.

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Hang in there, J.!

First of all, please don't fault yourself for not being strong enough to overcome pospartum. And second, please make sure that someone you know knows you're going through this. Sometimes, us women try to overcome these obstacles alone, when there is usually somebody there willing to support us along the way.

It sounds like you're doing everything you can. Just try to get ready every morning, makeup and all.

When I had PP, I cried soooooo much. Everything was dramatic, but felt so real inside. I didn't tell anyone I was going through it because I thought I could overcome it on my own. But as it continued to last, I finally told my mom. She stepped right up and helped me! Basically, she would just come watch my boys in our house, & allowed me to feel that I had enough time for myself to do whatever I felt like I needed to do. Which was usually shower & rest. Of course I would cry during my whole shower because I felt guilty for having my mom there because i couldn't overcome it on my own. But after 5 visits or so, I stopped crying about it, which told me (later) that my mom's help was helping me "settle down".

Anyway, J., I hope there is someone who lives close to you that you consider a trusted friend. Please let them know that you need some help to get through this. Don't wait....call them today, and if even you're crying while you call them, just do it.

It will go away eventually, but having a support system, will feel as if it goes away faster.

Blessings to you.

:o) N.

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Hi J.. I am still struggling with this myself, but not to the extent as I was in the first year. My son is now 18 months old and it is a lot better, but I don't know if I would have been better off trying medication. I was afraid and generally steer clear of meds so I tried B vitamin complex and fish oil with DHA while breastfeeding. I do feel like I missed out on a lot of the joys of being a first time mom by thinking that it would just go away or get better with time. I did reach out to close friends and I highly recommend you do that as well as a support group or therapy. If therapists insist on meds and you really don't want to take them, you can refuse, but it may still feel good to have some counseling. It helped me to join a local mother's club and I finally have started doing Weight Watchers and going for walks on a more regular basis. Nutrition, rest and exercise, meeting some other mommies, and some time to yourself is really important. I wish you the best. Please email if you want to chat.

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Hi, it sounds like what I went through after my 2nd son was born. I tryed to deal with it on my own but after 6wks I needed help, my obgyn put me on zoloft and I haven't had any problems since. Being a mom again after 8yrs or in your case 6yrs can be hard, it sounds like you've tryed everything you can and may just need some meds. Call your dr. and talk to him/her and see what they suggest.

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Hi J.,

I understand what you are going through. Talk therapy really helped me because I was able to speak to someone on all the ups and downs of becoming a mom. It tremendously helped my anxiety, fears, and depression. Also, buspar is a good anti-depressant that doesn't make you feel drugged or wierd. I used it short-term and it helped me through the rough times. Also, exercising helps and deep breathing, relaxation cds at night and getting a network of other moms who you can relate to. Good luck and stay strong.

M.

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