Postpartum Depression - Tonawanda, NY

I suffered from chronic depression before I had my children. After having my first, who is now three, it actually seemed that my depression kind of went away. Three years later I had my second son and I went through and am still going through terrible depression. I don't know what to do. I can't stand to look at myself, so I removed all mirrors from my house, thinking that it may help build my confidence. I gained much more weight with my second child, and haven't been able to get it gone in the four months since his birth. I hate the effect of antidepressents. I have taken them so long that I feel like my life since 15 years of age has been fake. I don't seem to have any emotions when I take them. I'm not happy or sad, I can't cry when I need to, I just don't feel normal. What other types of things can I do other than take pills?

Dear K.,

When I went through Postpartum depression,I was in school. My school made absolutely NO exeptions. Either, I attended classes and passed the exams or had to fail/take time off.

Yes.....I made it through school!

Knowing that the thoughts I have are "just" thoughts, got me through. I did not identify with them. I knew it was Postpartum depression. Every time I would negative thoughts, I would say to myself:"the postpartum depression is making me feel this way, it will go away It's not truly deep down how I feel.
Hope it makes sense:)

Good Luck,
L.

I also suffered from PPD. If you need anyone to talk to, feel free to send me a message. I had trouble after my first baby and then it was even worse after my second. I didn't go on medication with those, but was prepared to with my third, but actually experienced depression during the pregnancy with my third, and snapped out of it the moment I saw her. I would be glad to give you support and talk with you if you'd like. Otherwise, make sure that you reach out to your friends. Ask those around you for help with the little things that overwhelm you...meals, laundry, if you need a break. Exercise is also helpful when you feel down. I joined the YMCA (which won't turn away anyone), and take comfort in knowing that I can take the kids there and get a break. Also, talk to your doctor so that you can make informed decisions about ways to combat it. Good luck :)

I might have suffered PPD, but it wasn't anything to do with my son. it had everything to do with the fact that my husband just got his dream job, and I was stuck at home. bills where piling up, and I couldn't handle not contributing to the household financially. yes, being the primary care provider for my son is a job in itself, but I was in the middle of going to school, and working and then all of a sudden being pregnant. I worked until a week before going into labor, only because I was hospitalized for preeclampsia. then they put me on bed rest. that drove me nuts. so instead I just did stuff around the house, etc.
I also had a problem with the fact that we don't even live in our own place yet. we live with my mother-in-law, which has been a great help, and I love her to pieces, but at the time I was gearing up on anxiety because I couldn't fix the problem being a stay-at-home mom, because I wasn't helping us get out of her house and into our own, and I wasn't working towards it. I might be able to enjoy being a stay at home mom, as long as I had my own house, but until then, I wanted to work towards our house together.
so it built up and built up, until we went to visit my lunatic side of the family, out of state, and my mother who hasn't a clue says something she really shouldn't have (as she has no clue at any given time,) and i just burst out in tears in the middle of a resteraunt.
so yeah, I went to the doctor pretty much right away, because I hate feeling like this. he gave me some medication, and honestly I used it for a month, but never felt I needed it. so I worked out a compromise with my husband, I work nights when he gets home from work, and this fall I will re-enroll in school.
so my doctor didn't want to diagnose me with PPD, and honestly that is a scary word for my, but for an anxiety disorder, but closely linked to PPD I guess.
And I have a deep respect for those women who realize that they may have a problem, and have the courage to step up and do something about it. bravo to all of you!

Hi K.,

I suffered postpartum with my last child. I have 4 children. I didn't know I even had it. During that year I gave birth to my daughter than we moved into our house. I was not diagnosed with it until my daughter was 8 months old. I knew something was wrong when I thought that the world would be better off without myself or my kids. I told my husband who pushed me to get help. I am so lucky I have such a supportive husband and family who were with me. I did take zoloft for the depression which helped. I had a wonderful doctor also who helped me through it.

T.

I had my daugther this Jan, and I tell you as soon as I got home all I did was cry mainly b/c I felt so dependent on others. I had a c-section therefore when I got home not being able to do what I normally do got the best of me. I felt like I was not me anymore, I had turned into this other person. In addition when other people came to help, they wanted to help with the baby when I really didn't need help with the baby I needed help with everything else I couldn't do ie laundry, cleaning, cooking, etc. It was very hard and the first three wks home were an absolute nightmare. Staying home all the time b/c of the weather was also getting me even more depressed. I felt so neglected as no one was coming for me, they were coming for the baby. In the hospital I was doing great b/c I had a nurse taking care of me 24/7, when I got home no one was taking care me and I really couldn't take care of myself. I got dehydrated and started to run a fever. The worst part is that others, family mainly, do not have the common sense to see that I needed some pampering, someone to get me water, or my painkillers. My husband was doing a lot for me and helping out but it was not enough as he was taking care of the visitors as well. So finally I decided to send everyone packing and started to go out with the baby, during the day. Going out certainly helped me feel more normal like my life was not completely over. Ironically once I started to stay home by myself, I started to feel better, no one was driving me crazy, or giving me the same baby advice over and over again. From this experience I can say that when I decide to have another baby I don't want anybody at my house at least during the first month home.

I had terrible post partum and am currently going through a relapse...go figure! Would love to co-miserate...e-mail ____@____.com

Hi K.. I am 29 also and a first time mom of twins. I have had PPD since they were about 3 months they will be 7 months on Sunday. Lately it seems to have gotten worse. I would love to talk.

D.

Hi K.,
Unfortunately, I have experienced PPD, and know exactly what you are going through. Often times it is genetic, and if others in your family have suffered from it, you most likely will. When I had my first daughter, it was the happiest time of my life. I never felt so many different emotions all at one time. I also never experienced such devastating, and frightening thoughts as well.
My first experience with PPD was a few days after my daughter was born. My mom warned me that she suffered from PPD, and what to expect. My mom could have warned, and tried to prepare me for what might come, but in no way was I expecting to experience such horror. There was nothing I could do to eliminate such bad thoughts I as experiencing. I spoke with several psychologists, who warned me that since I have suffered from depression, prior to having my daughter. The chances of me suffering from PPD was that much higher. Antidepressents were out of the question, and so I suffered for about two weeks, and the thoughts started to slowly subside (THANK GOD)!!!! I actually saw a news special on PPD, and they gave instances of what other moms were going through. I couldnt believe there were other moms who were having the SAME EXACT thoughts as I was.
Prior to watching this show, I was beginning to question my abilities of being a mom, and having doubts of being a good mom. I kept telling my self, how could i love and care for my daughter so much, yet still be thinking such awful things about her at the same time.
My boyfriend told me that often times people think of bad things that could happen, in order to prevent such events from occurring. I am not sure if there is much truth to that, but it is worth pondering over.

Anyways, I just wanted to drop a line, and let you know there are others who have or are still suffering from PPD. In my opinion, PPD is THE WORST disorder I have ever suffered from. I guess i am considered one of the lucky ones; considering I only suffered a few weeks. I cant imagine what others go through, who have suffered a lot longer.
Till' this day i fear what may come when I have my second child.