Post Breastfeeding - Chicago,IL

Updated on April 19, 2011
S.C. asks from Chicago, IL
24 answers

I breastfed my son until he was 11 months, and my daughter until 13 months. I am depressed about how my breast look now. They are flat hanging to my stomach and I'm just 30 years old! My left one is smaller than the other one now, and I have gone down about 1 cup size. Before children, I had nice breasts. Now, I look at mess! Im embarrased to have them exposed around my husband. I could cry. Any of you breastfeeding moms experience similar? How are you coping?

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So What Happened?

I have considered several responses, and I just returned home from Target where I got myself two bras and two panties. I hardly ever have chances to shop for myself. I tried them on, and I guess it is ok. They are not push up wonders, but it is a start. I have to visit Victoria Secret for that! My husband asked to see how they fit on me, and I wasn't comfortable because one breast is way smaller than the other and it leaves a little extra room in one side. UUUUGH!!!! Well, I will see how these bras help mask how I truly feel about my breasts now. Thanks for all the advice.

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M..

answers from Youngstown on

I hear you! I breastfed for almost 2 years, and then I lost a considerable amount of weight. Combine the two, and I am very unhappy about the "girls". I am seriously thinking of getting a boob job. I don't know if I will have the guts to actually go through with it, but just thinking about it makes me happy. My husband always tells me that I am beautiful just the way I am, so I am lucky in that department. I agree with Amy. Get some really nice bra's that make you feel sexy and try to focus on the positive. You did a wonderful thing by breastfeeding. Hang in there!

2 moms found this helpful

A.D.

answers from Norfolk on

this is exactly why i was promised a boob job when i found out i was pregnant with my 2nd (and last) baby :) I have respectfully dubbed mine "mom boobs".

2 moms found this helpful

A.G.

answers from Pocatello on

yeah I know what you mean. I BF my 1st daughter for 12 months and my second for 14 months. I'm 1 week away from baby #3 so yeah my boobs are in for another round which won't make things any better. haha Each time I'm done BF my boobs get smaller and flatter. Although mine have gotten really small. Like an A cup when I'm not BF so although they hang they don't hang that much cause there isn't that much there! But I just decided once I'm done having kids I'm getting a boob job. Problem solved :)

1 mom found this helpful

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P.M.

answers from Tampa on

Blame the pregnancy hormones... not the breastfeeding please LOL Prolactin and milk ducts have nothing to do with the shape, deflation or flatness of breasts but the pregnancy hormones DO.

Anyways... I breastfed for 4.5 YEARS... my breasts look almost exactly the same as they did before my first pregnancy and now I'm pregnant with #2.

Usually when you don't allow a very long weaning process this is what I see happen. Breasts are not supposed to be used daily then suddenly stopped in less than a month. That causes many of the issues you mention, because it's like when the body loses A LOT of weight in a short time, your skin doesn't have time to keep up and you get a saggy mess of skin. When the pregnancy hormones beefed up your breasts, it did so with the intention of allowing baby to nurse at least 2 years. You go before that... then you lose a lot of bulk too quickly and the skin cannot keep up.

When you go against biology, there are always major issues - just be happy yours are superficial and not health related.

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A.B.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I. am. here.

While I'm happy and proud to have nursed my son, this is very hard for me to deal with too. I'm so much smaller that some days it's enough to make me contemplate drastic action! (Not that I have the money or guts to go through with it...ha!)

Some days it's hard for me not to believe that my husband wouldn't be disappointed by such a drastic difference, but he's such a good sport and respects all that my body has been through for our family. Even so, perhaps I should have taken more pictures while I had the goods!

Go buy yourself some new bras that help you feel fabulous and confident!

I suppose getting pregnant again is another option, too - now I know why people have lots of kids! lol

I wish I had some better words of encouragement, but I'm not yet there myself - I just wanted you to know you're not alone.

Hugs!

3 moms found this helpful

J.E.

answers from Los Angeles on

dont be h*** o* yourself! have a look at this site...

http://theshapeofamother.com/

we come in all shapes & sizes. Wear a pretty bra or other lingerie to feel better about yourself... No breast is ever ugly- especially to the man who holds them in his hands, seriously.

2 moms found this helpful
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L.S.

answers from Spokane on

I'm with ya there.....I was getting dressed after a shower one day (in between babies 2 and 3) and my 2 (at the time) year old pointed to my breasts and said "mama, your boobies are lying down". I just kinda chuckled uncomfortably and put on a bra.

Short of surgery (implants or a lift), just invest in some pretty, supportive bras that make you feel sexy and learn to love your breasts for what they did! You fed two babies for a year each!! That's amazing. You're amazing. Your breasts are amazing!!

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T.M.

answers from Bloomington on

yep! wish i knew that... i was shocked to see my mom's boobs on my own chest-- i thought it was because she was OLD, not because she had babies!!!

underwire is awesome! :) and so is cute lingerie and swimsuits with support in them (what's up with the swimsuits these days-- have any of you found some that look good with mom-boobs????)

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M.G.

answers from Chicago on

Oh, I almost cried once I finished nursing my twins after 15 months. They're saggy and full of stretch marks. Gross! I don't like it, but I've accepted it as another badge of honor for what I did for my kiddos. I'm expecting #3 right now, and I will admit that I can't wait for them to be full again!

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N.J.

answers from Los Angeles on

I'm right there with ya. Nursed my first to 12 months and my 2nd closer to 17months. My hubby keeps telling me he doesn't care, but I'm thinking some type of boob job is coming in the future.

I thought it was interesting though that most Dr.s say breastfeeding really isn't the cause of the droopy, saggy deflated boob syndrome. In fact, its the pregnancy in itself. My girl friend who didn't nurse any of her kids past the first week insists her boobs look just like I complain my do. I often wonder if mine are really worse, but really can't fathom having a show in tell? Guess, I'll have to take my hubby's word and trust that they aren't that bad, their "perfect"...Ha ha ha ha!

1 mom found this helpful

V.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

I nursed both of our children, though not as long as you (or the other responses before me)... But mine seemed to get back to almost completely normal. It just took time. Or maybe, now that I am past 40, I just don't notice it that much anymore because I am more focused on the rest of my wrinkles and sags, lol.

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K.C.

answers from Orlando on

My second is only two weeks old and so we are back to big ole' nursing bubbies, but I know exactly what you are talking about. (and I'm only 25!)

After I stopped feeding my first daughter, I made my husband promise that I could get a "tune up" if I had another child. So this is something that we are currently saving for. It's what I want to make me feel more confident about myself.

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R.B.

answers from Chicago on

I hear ya!! After my 2 kids, my breasts are...tired. They used to be lively and "happy" and now they're just...tired.

Just know that the reason they are this way is because you gave your children an AWESOME start to their lives with the most nutritious and healthy food! It may take a toll on our bodies, but you helped make your kids' bodies nice and strong.

Without surgery, I highly recommend getting a really nice push-up bra that holds everything where it's supposed to be (or close to it). At least when you're out and about, you can feel a little bit like your old self.

1 mom found this helpful

M.R.

answers from Rochester on

I made fun of my "pancake breasts" with other women and around my husband. I think it helped to find them funny. He is great about them but did point out during my most recent pregnancy when they seemed to be "about the same size as when we got married." I pointed out to him that they were not quite that big when we were first married, but were definitely more full. I think mine would be deflated even without kids since I lost weight and they are filled out by fat.

I like the way I look in nice fitting bras (not right now--I look pornographic when I'm breastfeeding) and look forward to finding good fitting bras that are flattering when I've lost the weight again. I used to think I'd get a reduction in a heart beat, but now sometimes I think a lift would be nice. I don't think I would ever do it, though. I just work out and try to get and keep everything else toned and nice to boost my self-esteem and wear sexy heels to work. It really helps me. :)

[And as far as husbands go, I don't think they are ever as critical of our bodies as we are. They do not meditate on our flaws, notice where we have a particular pattern of stretch marks, or see the dimples on our thighs. Anyone clamoring to have sex with a woman who has just given birth and counting the days until it is "allowed" is not going to care that that woman's breasts look different after feeding his precious children. Just something to keep in mind. I do NOT feel my sexiest a month after having a baby, but I don't think my husband cares that much since everything went super-well.]

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A.F.

answers from Chicago on

I did chest lifting exercises with heavy weights and got the muscles under them nice and firm -- they looked great then :) Exercise can work wonders....consider that before surgery or wear cute lingerie with bra tops, etc. I nursed my daughter 4 months till pumping no longer worked and son 12 mos. Right now 35 weeks prego with #3. Best wishes!

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A.S.

answers from Chicago on

Right there with you. I breastfed my twins until 22 months and we weaned very slowly and I still have saggy breasts. But, I try to thank them for fulfilling their purpose which makes me smile, so that helps. Nice bras help too, but it's even more depressing when you take the bra off and watch the boobs fall. Definitely will try the underneath muscle strengthening, but trying to accept what I have. No one told me before that you get stretchmarks in your boobs so I am sure to tell all my pregnant friends to lather up. I bet, or hope, that while your husband also has to adjust to all the changes, he is amazed that your body produced your children.

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M.H.

answers from Chicago on

I felt similarly right after my youngest stopped nursing. I was heart broken! I absolutely could not find a good bra that fit well. Fast forward about a year and they have regained some tone and gone back to the old size. I have my nice cleavage back and although they are not as perky as they were before, they are all together not bad. Bide your time, it will get better.

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J.S.

answers from Chicago on

Same here! This will sound totally strange, but stick with me for a minute - my grandma is a nudest and actually lives in a nudest resort. It's mostly older folks, though not exclusively so. They're very "back to nature" hippie kind of people. Anyway, I started going to visit her there after high school and it has really helped me see and appreciate my body in a different way, to see all these women who just embrace their body and the way it changes with time. You could tell who'd had children from the stomach. You could tell who had breastfed from the boobs. And while the droopy boobs and flabby tummy aren't our culture's ideal sexy image, there is something of a badge of honor in it. Without having work done you can't do a whole lot about these things. So my advice is try to embrace your body as it is. We all know that confidence is the sexiest thing to wear anyway, so be proud of all you've done to earn your new body!

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A.R.

answers from Minneapolis on

This post made me laugh! (flat hanging to the stomach part) I am in the same boat. Before pregnancy, my boobs were a size B and perky, and then I got pregnant and I was a 40C. Then I breastfed my son for a year and after I quit, my boobs were pancakes, but still a C. When I got pregnant again, my boobs didn't grow. Now Im breastfeeding my 4 month old daughter and Im still dealing with pancake boobs with stretch marks now. Im only 22, and pancake boobs are no fun. I want a boob job. Oh also I have different sized boobs. I wear push up bras when Im not wearing nursing tanks, and they seem to make them look a little better.

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R.T.

answers from Chicago on

Thanks for this post, it's so comforting to read that so many others are in the same boat! After I stopped nursing my second, my boobs just turned into deflated balloons. I used to be a nice 32B, but now I can't even imagine! They are just two flaps of skin that hang down. My youngest is now 1 so I'm guessing the rebound other women experienced is not going to happen for me. Guess I'll just have to get pregnant again to experience the wonders of firm full breasts!

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C.C.

answers from Chicago on

I have had two kids and didn't breastfeed either one but have the same situation with my breasts!! They are like two deflated socks hanging off my chest - I do not feel attractive at all and dont even like looking at myself in the mirror. They still were somewhat saggy when I was prg but at least they were FULL if you know what I mean. I am seriously thinking about going to see someone and getting a breast lift or something!!!

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E.N.

answers from Chicago on

Great job on breastfeeding your kids! They will be so much healthier for it and will appreciate your efforts when they're older. Another reason why breasts look "deflated" after nursing for a long time is that breastfeeding burns off the fat stores in the breast. As we know, it's fat that gives breasts most of their fullness and shape. Once your body goes through several menstrual cycles again and is exposed to menstrual hormones, your fat stores will come back and give you more fullness. And yes to what others have said--it's actually pregnancy, not breastfeeding, that stretches out some of the ligaments that support the breasts and makes them not sit as high as they once did.

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L.C.

answers from Chicago on

I have the same issue and am currently breastfeeding #3. Dont worry about it. You are doing whats best for your child. I think about a boob job sometimes, but i dont think i like the risk involved with it. I have heard some bad stories and though im sure most go perfectly fine, im not that brave i guess. So, bras work wonders. After all, how often are you nude? We are clothed more than anything, so no one will know anything if you have a nice bra.

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T.B.

answers from Miami on

Yep, me too. But it's not breastfeeding that does our breasts the damage...it's pregnancy. I gain so much weight during pregnancy and I'm pregnant with my 4th child and my breasts get mammoth size while pregnant. You just had two children. Can't wait to see what mine will look like after my 4th baby is born. Yes, milk production makes them grow bigger but I'm a firm believer that pregnancy is what does the "damage," and I hate calling it damage because pregnancy is a beautiful thing. I will definitely look into a tummy tuck and breast implants. Some day.

How to cope? Your husband better love you the way you are. My husband has never commented on how my body has changed other than how beautiful it is that my body carried and nourished all of our children. Victoria's Secret has that fabulous bra (I own 2) that ADDS to your breast size. Yes, an illusion to outsiders but only you know and that is all that matters. Try not to be depressed about it. Think of it this way: If you never had children, age and gravity would make them sag and wrinkled anyway.

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