15 answers

Possibly Starting to Go to Church and Nervous

ok here goes
one of my son's boyscout friend invited us to his church this sunday. my son has never gone to church except for a funeral. my daughter hasnt either. by hubby wont go, but i'm willing to go and just check it out. I havent gone to church in YEARS, my wedding wasnt even in a church. I'm extremely nervous for us to go to churh since i haven't gone since i was like 10yrs old. I was baptised when i was a baby luthern and the one that my son's friend goes to looks real nice on their website and looks like the kids would have fun and maybe me too. anyone have any suggestions on how not to be so nervous about it? thanks and go ahead and move this if it isnt the right spot for this. thanks ladies I am going to attend People of Hope Luthern Church in NW rochester

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it went great!!! The kids had a blast and my son wants to go back next week! Both kids went to teh nursery but i'm sure they would have been fine if they stayed with me too, there were so many kids in the service! it was great, everyone was so warm and welcoming and everyone said Hello to me. I think we'll definately be going back every sunday! thank you everyone for your wonderful advice.

More Answers

Hi S.,
Congrats on stepping out to go to church. My husband has never been too up on it, I started attending around the age of 20. He began going with me in January after six years together. I have found that church offers not only religious training, but also fun activities for the kids. K... you didn't say which church, but you can try going to google and type in what can I expect when I attend a (fill in the blank) church? I tried a few denominations and it was very explainatory. It can let you know how to dress, what their customs are, etc. And remember, although people may be dressed slightly different, smell different (lol), they are just like you and me and most churches I have gone to are very friendly. Keep in mind not to rush into any judgements with just one or two services. They won't always say things you agree with, but if their basic beliefs are acceptable, give them a chance. Many people are not waiting to disect newcomers like a bug! Good luck! I had to find a new church a couple of years ago and just blindly attended a few of the denominations I was comfortable with. Have fun (if you can accept fun and church at the same time, it blows my husband's mind that my church is fun, lol).

1 mom found this helpful

Dear S.,

I think it is terrific that you are willing to go with your son to church. I think this is a very positive experience. I am a firm believer that a person's spirituality is a personal journey and your relationship with God (higher being) is your own.

Just like you send your kids to school to learn, taking them to church allows them to learn and be exposed to different ideas. They cannot make an informed decision about having a relationship with God, or even understanding different religions, if they are never exposed to the experience.

I think churches offer a lot of social aspects, which is good and bad -- it is good to have fellowship with like-minded people. However, I think some people come to church for simply the social and not the spiritual (worship). Make sure that your kids don't completely get lost in the "social" aspect provided by the church (many are big on youth activities) and that they really take to heart the commitment of living a Christian/Catholic/Buddhist/Moslim, etc.. life.

Don't feel like you have to engage in all the activities provided -- if you are not moved to take the weekly Sacrament -- don't. After all the ritual of the Sacrament can be experienced daily in your thinking and actions and does not have to be limited to the ceremonial experience at church.

If the church expects you to sign up and be a member after one visit, than perhaps this isn't the right church for you and your family. You should feel comfortable coming back. You should enjoy and feel inspired by the ideas presented. You should understand the expectation of being a member (not just the spiritual commitment, but also the volunteer and, unfortunately, some churches even have financial expectations..) I believe you give what you are lead to provide, not what the church expects you, but what God expects you to share.

There is no need to be nervous -- Enjoy your experience.


I was in the same boat. I never went to a church and my husband was a regular going (with his parents). I have non traditional beliefs about organized religons and never made it a priority. We now and 3 kids and other factors in our lives were pointing at us to church it up. A friend of ours has been inviting us to thier church for 2 years now and it happens to be the church were my kids go to preschool. So we decided to give it a try. I'm not totally comfortable with everything in the church, but the people are very nice and non-judgemental. It's a strange step to take, but you'll find it an even tougher one if your husband does not support you.

It's important that the kids get a good solid value structure and church helps to suplement what you teach at home. Make sure that they have a good childrens program. And if it's something that you really want to do, do not let your husband put it down infront of the children.

Try not to be so nervous, you will not burst into flames as you enter! My husband was raised Luthern and the churches that I have been to with him are always very inviting and friendly. Nobody is waiting to judge you. I didn't know all of the responses, but no one cared, and there weren't that many of them. Maybe go online or talk to your friend ahead of time about what is expected. I can tell you this. Most churches, and specifically some Lutheran churches that I have been too, do not like when new visitors take communion. You have to be a member of the church first, so if communion is offered, you probably want to pass until you talk to someone about it. It should also be a great outlet for your kids. Definately bring some distractions along in case a nursery or play room is not offered.

I was in the same boat when I started going to church. I was raised in a non religious house and then married somebody who was raised in the church. I viewed it as a great learning experience. Everybody was so warm and inviting. In a Luthern church they give direction on what to do and when. There are no surprises at all. Good Luck to you!

If churches and their congregations are anything, they are welcoming. I wouldn't worry at all. Who cares how long it's been? I just started taking my son to the church where I was baptised, and hadn't been to in years. Don't feel like you have to go every week or anything, but why not check it out?
Your son may have fun, and in order to let your child have choices about what he wants to believe, he needs to be exposed to as much as possible, right?

I too am going through this. I haven't been to church in about 8 years, but I want to raise my kids in a Christian atmosphere. I was baptized and raised Roman Catholic, but I don't like the super-strict, set-in-their-ways type of places. My mom suggested I try Holy Spirit Catholic Church, it's up near 50th Ave NW. They're a "community" church; highly involved with the neighborhood, they have a school, outreach, and just a general feel of welcoming. My old church from my youth was very "business" oriented, it seemed.

I'm also feeling nervous about going, since it's been so long. I've attended a few Masses there, and really like it. Church is the one place where no one will ever be turned away or feel unwelcome, and they really made me feel that way. They also have a Sunday evening Mass at 6pm if mornings don't work well for your family (like mine). Hope that helps, and good luck finding a parish that suits you and your family! :)


This is a great starting place for you and your children. My husband and I got married in People of Hope Church ~ not by the minister that they have ~ but the staff were very friendly and helpful. We did go to a few of there services to test the waters so to speak, and although we liked it, we found it wasn't the church for us. I will say though that they are very kid orientated and very open. Yes, there were people in jeans at the services we attended which we thought was very liberal considering both of our religous upbringings. I hope this puts you at ease a bit more. And like the others have said, kudos to you for going out on a limb and trying a new church!

don't be nervous. Like someone else said...churches are meant to be welcoming. They want you there. they want you to enjoy yourself and to come back. I hope that it goes smoothly for you (I'm sure that it will).

thats all-take care

Like you I have never been very involved in church but I feel I'm a spiritual person I would not feel uncomfortable unless they ask you to join or tithe then it is not a church for you.
Unfortunately some churches have become businesses and they will bother people for money ignore, run, find a new church! Personally I believe in giving but having a set limit and being pushed into it is unlike ANYTHING I've read in the bible.
so definately go where your comfortable or like me I work on sundays alot just talk to somebody. And don'r feel bad I wasn't married in a church either! Email me I can talk!

Dont be nervous.. Churches are meant to be relaxing AND WELCOMING. I went all my childhood and adulthood. It provided great friendships and great peace in my life and still does. My son enjoys the childrens services and my husband enjoys the small groups that aare offered in the larger churches. Dont let it get you down that your hjusband doesnt want to go...as long as he isnt verbally degrading, you should go for you and your son. Have a great time and relax!

It is ok to be nervous. I was the same way when we first went to Church. Just go and enjoy...once you are there you will feel better and just enjoy yourself. I bet your kids will love it!!

Hi S.

I can relate I was scared to death to take my children to church also because we don't attend regularly and having all boys it can be quite a challenge. Anyway back to taking your kids to churh i have found that when i do go we pack a little chuch bag with snacks like cherios, fruit snacks, ect. and a few quiet toys like teddy bears and matchbox cars. I also let them pick the toys they bring with. Depending on the church some have a nursery in a separate part of the church that is run by high school class students ours has one but it is half an hour before they go to the nursery. You never know they may actually have fun and want to go again. Best of Luck and I hope this helps some.
C. S.


First I love your name (it is mine too :)) I would like to applaud you for wanting to go back to church. I myself never went to church as a kid, except the occasional time with extended family on holidays. I started to go to church about 6 months ago, right before my son was born. I can say I was really nervous. Since I have never gone to church and for a large part of my life didn't even believe in God or Jesus. I started to go for my husband, I figured what was the harm if I went. I can say I am now a believer and got baptized almost two months ago. The church we started to go to was Southbridge Community Church in Shakopee. The only thing I can say about being nervous, is just do it. The people at my church were so warm and welcoming and I have loved it since day one. If you don't feel a great connection at first keep trying it, but don't feel afraid to find the right church for you! To me it was the best decision I have made in my life. I feel so much more contentment with my life, it is a wonderful feeling! So my advice is just do it! And I again applaud you for going back and taking your children! God Bless you!

perhap let your son's friends mom know you are a bit nervous and then relax and enjoy yourself GOD is with you and you will feel that peace as you are there I am sure. It sounds like this will be a gpod place for you and your children. If you like it, you may want to set up a meeting with a pastor there to visit to see if it is a good long term fit. What a nice invitation.If the church does not feel right, there are many churches that you can visit. If they welcome you, that is the main thing!

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