Possible Thief

We had 7 children and a similar thing happened to us one year. We knew it had to be one of the kids as other children didn't have access to where any cash was. We talked to them all and of course "Mr. Nobody" did it. We talked about trust and honesty, but again "Mr. Nobody" did it. We didn't see any spending changes in the kids, but some were old enough to go out with friends where we wouldn't see them spend. My husband and I called all the kids together and told them that since "Nobody" took the money then "Everybody" had to work to repay it. All of them were assigned extra chores (stuff like washing windows and car, doing laundry etc., pooper-scooping etc.) They all hated that they got extra work to do instead of having their free time. As they worked and grumbled they all started accusing each other and talking and with enough pressure the "thief" finally caved in. It's amazing what a little peer pressure can accomplish :) The "thief" had to apologize to everyone for having to share in his consequences and he had to do many of the other kid's chores for a couple of weeks(especially the ones they didn't like to do) to earn back the money. Incidentally....we never had the stealing problem again.
J. F.

2 moms found this helpful

Oh I'm so sorry that you're going through this. I keep my cash in a black lockbox now, when I was married my husband used to take my cash. Then, I would hide it in the couch (we had cushins that zipped and would put it in the middle on the bottom, it never disappeared again!) But before that point, which happened overnight, I had $3,500 stolen from my secret pocket in my backpack that I was going to put in savings the following day. I was literally sick. I hide the key in the cuff of a pair of socks. I would put a 20bill in your purse then watch the person you think is taking it. I know it sounds harsh but it has to be reported. If there are no consequences for personalities like this it will continue into adulthood and the consequences are much more harsh. Let me know if you need any more advice. The lockbox I got was at Walmart for about $30. Good luck and don't hesitate to let me know if you need anything.

1 mom found this helpful

My only idea is to really pay close attention to any "extra" money that has been spent by someone you suspect. Like maybe one of them suddenly had money to spend on a new video game or clothes. Also, can you think of any reason that any of the suspected kids would need money - wanting to impress friends or date, being bullied, feeding a bad habit (even a "minor", legal habit, mind you).
If your kids get allowance, maybe you have to "suspend" it for awhile, or cut back on things that you usually fund. I know that would be hard if your kids are innocent, but you could just honestly say "I'm sorry, but because this happened, I can't afford to pay allowance". That way, it isn't a direct punishment with you assuming that one of them stole, it's just a fact of life that money is gone. Maybe it will prompt the kids to "look into things" themselves and help you get to the bottom of it.
Good luck! Hope you get it figured out soon!

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i have two sons and 5 adopted sons. i guess this happens in every household at some time or another. we too were missing money. after asking "no one" aobut it i dropped it but became way more aware. i deliberatley put our some marked bills form a different place. Not my purse becasue that is where it was stolen from. i jsut took a red marker and put a strip on each of the 5 dollar bils that i strategically placed around the house. even made a big deal about people leaving money out. every day when the boys went to school i checked rooms completely. i found a lot of other stuff i wasnt suposed to know about too but didnt say anythign . while they were all in the shower i would go through back packs etc. the money came up missing again and there was no sign of anyone in the house taking it. so the only suspect that had been in the house every time the money caem up missing was the neigghbor boy. the next time he was in the house i followed him closely without him knowing it. i know that i can be a great detective now. sure enough the money went missing. i had left it on my dresser behind a picture frame. he went in to use my bathroom and of course i couldnt follow him there but the bathroom is connected to the bedroom so as soon as he got out i went and checked and sure enough the money was gone. then i called his paents and had them come over. we asked to search him and he jsut gave up the money. i had considered putting up keyhole cameras and that wouldnt have been difficult to do since my husband does that for a living but thank goodness it was resolved. he was not allowed in our house any more. many years later we found out that he had a drug problem starting at age 12 and that he had been stealing form eveyone for his drugs. they didnt really find out until he stole blatantly form anyone. the paretns hada shield over their eyes and we weent on good terms after he stol money form me but they came and a ppoligized after he went to rehab. you cna alos buy "dummy" cameras and place them around the house and show your kids where thay are at. i just hope it is nt a family member but if you think it is, you need to monitor closely for signs of drug use.

1 mom found this helpful

Wow, this is such a frustrating situation! This happened to me while I was in college, and the worst part of it was we were pretty sure it was my boyfriend at the time. He stole from my brother, his uncle, his mom, it went on and on. We were never able to prove it, but I was pretty sure it was him. Anyhow, I know how horrible it feels to suspect someone you care about, and the feeling of dread in your tummy when money comes up missing. I agree with the lady who said to give the kids extra chores, I know I would be ticked if I had to pay for someone else's crime. Make the little boy you sit for do them too, that way if he did it he'll be more likely to confess or your kids will be upset enough to make him sorry he did it, and he'll tell you just to be on their good graces again. You can also leave money somewhere during the day, and if it goes missing, check his pockets and backpack before he leaves. Say that you're sorry for the intrusion, but it's just the way it will be until you figure out who's stealing from you. Sometimes being caught is just mortifying enough to set them straight. Good luck and let us know what happens!

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D., I am a good person. Honest to the point that I will correct a cashier that forgets to ring something up. But as a pre-teen and teenager, I lifted money from my parents. My parents always taught us to be honest, but that didn't stop me at the time. I think I mostly did it just because I thought i could get away with it. I was never confronted about it though and I only stopped when my sister was picked up for shoplifting.
I would just try the approach that if you can be honest with me about it, then we will talk about it but you won't be chastised. There should be punishment but it's the shame that a child is now trying to avoid.
Good Luck!

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Congrats on surviving cancer!
This is made harder by the presence of the boy you babysit...not wanting to offend and lose business, (look like a parent that suspects anyone but her own kids) is a factor here.
I knew of a teacher I used to work with, who would test the honesty of the janitorial staff. He's leave out a dollar "carelessly" once in a while to test their integrity. You might consider such a ploy.

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Hi!
I think that you should definately find out who is stealing the money. This needs to be stopped and dealt with before more serious issues arise. Have you thought about setting a trap? Maybe you could leave some money in a place where it's easily seen and set a video camera up nearby. Not only are you dealing with stealing, but also lying as well! Whoever is doing this needs to be held accountable. Good luck.