Possible ADD or Learning Disabilities

Hi. I'm a mental health counselor who specializes in children, and I spend a good deal of time working to increase their self esteem. It doesn't always fix the problem, but if people feel good about themselves, they are usually able to better handle the challenges that life brings. You might try working with the school counselor or taking him to a therapist in your area. There are also several books with activities and suggestions for boosting self esteem.

Regarding his possible sensory disorder and distraction...you might think this is crazy...but you may be able to help these issues by changing his diet. The Feingold Association has done extensive research which suggests that many people have sensitivities to the additives which are placed in our foods-- specifically the artificial colors (which are made from petroleum), artificial sweetners and artificial flavors. As I said, it may sound crazy, but once you read into it, it does make sense. I've had two of my clients try the program, and both are seeing positive changes. So, it might be worth checking it out. The website is www.feingold.org. If you have any questions, feel free to email me at ____@____.com luck! Traci

P.S. I'd also suggest getting him involved in a sport or activity. Karate is great way for kids to increase their self esteem. Be careful in choosing a program tho. Not all are reputable (remember the Karate Kid! You want a Mr. Miagi type--not the other guy lol!). Seek recommendations from other moms. Visit the schools and watch. Also, be sure to mention the sensory problems. And, choose a style of martial arts that will not be counterproductive. Some styles are very aggressive, while others are more mellow. Your little guy would probably do well with a mellow style (one that I can think of is Tae Kwon Do). Hope this helps!

1 mom found this helpful

I would like to suggest talking to the school's guidance counselor. I am a 4th grade teacher and I have 4 girls in a "lunch bunch" with the counselor to help with self-confidence issues. Also, if he is "embarrassed" about asking for help in front of classmates, have him and his teacher correspond through a notebook/journal. If he wants to have more help on a topic, he can write a note instead of asking... just a couple things I've done to deal with those issues.

I personally experienced that almost everyday throughout school. I'm 24 now. I have ADHD and Asperger's Syndrome. If you are worried about your son maybe having ADD or anything there are some wonderful doctors around the area that can be very helpful.

He doesn't have to have ADD or a LD to be behaving like this.

First of all, if you can afford it, occupational therapy is good for the sensory stuff. Second, as a black belt in Tae Kwon Do I recommend Tae Kwon Do or some other martial art -- but only if your son is interested. Sign him up for a trial set of lessons. Because if he turns out not to like it, it can just become another source of conflict in his life. Also, if he's not paying attention, he can get injured.

(If the school makes you pay up front for more than a month's worth of lessons, find another school -- even if you sign a two-year contract they should take the money monthly, not make you pay up front; also, don't go with a school that guarantees a black belt.)

It might be useful to meet with the guidance counselor and get her take. There are things they can do in the school to help, even if he doesn't have a learning disability or a disorder. And if he's not doing all his work, ask for what they call a Functional Behavioral Assessment (FBA). They will observe your son and find out what makes him tick and set up a Behavioral Improvement Plan. These are generally not punitive if done properly, and aren't limited to "discipline problems." For some children, in fact, you could have a horrible punishment as a consequence and that punishment would not change their behavior, but you could give them for a reward for good behavior in the form of a smiley-face sticker the size of a pencil eraser and you'll see an overnight transformation.

If you suspect a learning disability, you could ask for a Child Study, and they can evaluate him. Don't tell them you want your child to meet his potential, say you're concerned due to classroom behaviors that he might have a learning disability. The reason is that by law, your child is entitled to an appropriate education, which includes addressing any learning disabilities, but he's not entitled to have his potential maximized. Do not consider this legal advice, please, just practical mom-to-mom advice. If you're still not satisfied, you could have him privately evaluated, but this is expensive -- usually around $3,000, and you have no idea what proportion of this will be covered by insurance, but usually it's not much.

M.,

I do have a similar situation to share with you. I have a step son who started kindergarten at 4. He was academically ready but socially he wasn't. His mother against my husbands will, started him anyway. His young age was an issue for some many years to follow. Being 8 in the 2nd grade does sound appropriate but your son may need another year to grow into his potential. Some kids develop in different stages. If he isn't ready to be where he is, that could be the reason behind his lack of confidence. He may understand an execute his academic skills but maybe he just dosnt feel the comfort he needs to feel where he is. I have a six year old who went to kindergarten last year. He understood the criteria but his teacher told me that she felt he could be doing a lot better and could be ahead of where he was. I found myself pushing him because of her advice only to witness the lack of confidence that was growing throughout the year. She suggested I too, seek outside advice which I did not follow. I decided that he just wasnt ready and I held him back a year. I found that this year his confidence is through the roof, he no longer has those little distractions because he is focused on what he is doing because he actually enjoys doing it.
Going back to my stepson for a moment, he ended up seeking outside help due to the teachers advice and was placed on ridilin. The pills seemed to calm him in the classroom, but through the years we have witnessed that he has grown to believe he is dependent on this medication to survive in school. He has no confidence in doing things on his own. I dont believe in medicating a growing brain. I believe that each child is different and will succeed at their own pace. Maybe your son is suffering from these distractions because he hasn't found his comfort level yet.
I don't know if this helps in any way. I suppose you will have to factor in other areas of his life and how he interacts or succeeds there. Take something that he loves doing and evaluate if those same distractions occur even then. If not, then he may not be suffering from a disorder at all.
I am 33 years old and there isnt a day that I dont fall under some distraction and I am busy raising three kids. Thats a big job and I still find my mind wondering off or thinking about things I could think about later. We all suffer from some type of disorder in some way. We are only human and even as adults, we ease into situations or can become distracted if we don't feel comfortable for some reason. I hope this helps.

I had a little experience with this when my son was 8. But that was 10 years ago and things in schools have changed a bit since then, actually for the worse, in some ways, I think. It seems that if a child isn't doing perfectly well right at the start of schooling, then everyone starts worrying about early intervention. He may be hypersensitive, but if he's been tolerating various stimulations (maybe not loving it but tolerating) up to this point, and getting better, by your assessment, then in my humble opinion, he may just need some encouragement. It's great that you checked his eyesight. I started wearing glasses when I was only 5. Now I'm dealing with bifocals. Ugh. I hated having them when I was little. I was one of the only kids with glasses, and they always got in the way during active stuff. Maybe that's a factor with your son? But, I think also that there are a lot of kids, and probably a lot of boys especially, who get bored, distracted and fidgety. They need breaks and they want to move -- often. But at 8 years old, he's starting to have to sit in class for longer periods and do more desk work. I like what the one poster said about homework and building in fun distractions. To boost his confidence, you might think about team sports, or maybe something like cub scouts. 8 years old is a great time to join cubs. There's always lots of active learning in cubs. Meetings are usually only one hour a week, but the boys have fun, learn about all sorts of new things, and get to build social skills and make friends. Scouts helped my oldest son a lot when he was having problems in school with confidence and relating to his peers. But, and this is really just my opinion, I really hate seeing what I feel is schools rushing to "define the problem". A lot of times, all a child needs is patience and encouragement. Give them tools to succeed in small tasks, and they can build on that all through life.

Well I am a mother of a 10 year old with PDD NOS, which means he has a bit of a bunch of the spectrum disorders. One thing with Tony from birth was sensitivity to light, sounds and clothing. You might ask your pediatrician if they think that putting him on a Prozac (I know that sounds drastic) drug might help him to calm down and think things through a bit. My Tony was so anxious about things and everything used to make him tune out. After we had a car accident 2+ years ago things got worse. So Tony started taking Prozac along with his Autism medication and it seems to have helped him to calm down.

I know alot of people think that medication is not the answer, but discuss it with your pediatrician. It can't hurt to talk about it.

Best of Luck.

Well M.,

My three year old has been diagnosed with both sensory processing disorder and hyperactivity impulse variation (borderline ADHD) I completely under stand what you are going thru. I dont know if you have an IEP set up for your son or if you have been to see a developmental peditrition. Your have made one stride to go to the OT. Well your nex step should be (I recommend) is to find a develpmental ped. Then he/she will be able to point you to the next step. if you would like to talk to me more. Please feel free to contact me.

If you sone was ADD you would have noticed it before now. Maybe there is another problem in school. Kids are mean these days it is stating earlier. My son is nine and in third grade wears glasses and last year I ended up putting him in private school because of the problems I was having in the public school. He was being bulled and the kids wear teasing him and no one would do anything about it so my son was acting out.I also put him in cub scoots and he has gutair lessons once a week he does so well in school and actually pays attention most of the time he is still only 9 and you cant expect perfection. I found the extra activitys and our time together without other siblings helps a lot.

is there a particular subject his teacher thinks he could do better? if yes, maybe get him a tutor.
as for the ADD, i really hate these acronyms kids get labeled with. believe me, only in this country to we tend to 'label' our kids and 'fix' their problems.
i think i have ADD, or at least i did while growing up. now when i read about it and think back i definitely had/have it. i could not sit for too long concentrated on one thing. i just couldn't. i was a straight A student and i think what helped me was my dad. he'd se how antsy i'd get doing my math homework or whatever and he'd bring a white paper and water colors in midst of me trying to concentrate (actually getting frustrated with myself). he wouldn't say much to me except he'd ask me to draw something then color it. that would help me take my mind off homework, do something fun and then be able to get back to homework. what i am trying to say is if he is getting shy or distracted, maybe help him develop a hobby. something fun, not necessarily academic-oriented.
create a schedule for him, a bit here and a bit there. i wouldn't worry about him doing and giving the best he can. he is only 8 years old. he will have all the time in the world to spend years and years in school.

as for his confidence, i would totally understand him. he wears glasses and probably that doesn't help him. is there a specific age when kids can get contact lenses? ok won't be of mych help in this department, but what i think would boost his confidence is to help him get into sports if he isn't yet. something fun, something he would enjoy and like doing. boys love sports, and sports help a lot with self-confidence.
i just hope someone doesn't suggest you look into medicating him. that's such a pity when kids get medicated for all sort of stuff, totally unnecessarily.
good luck to you
vlora

M., i am sorry to hear u and ur son are having a hard time right now. I have a 9 yr. old son in 4th gr. he was going to catholic shcool since kindergarden and was doing well, last yr we transfered school to the public school in our area and right away they said he was having problems....i was upset because he never seemed to have prob. before. So they decided to run all sorts of test durning the yr. we met with a team every month to discuss his progress and we was doing fine academically. they found that he is a smart boy and above average in somethings but below in his reading....they had him checked by the OT and the speech therapist and all those other people. He also has a heard time concentrating and focusing. they decided to put him in the learning support classes for reading and that has seemed to help if only to bost his confidence level. I feel thatt is also a big problem for him, when he feels he can not do it he shuts down and everyone out. I have found that spending a little more time with him just with everyday stuff has helped his confidence at home wich in turn has helped at school. If u are sending him to public school, they will test him for everything learning wise and u do not need to pay for any of it. While doing this we found out he was having problems with his eyes and it was causing him to be distracted, and he does not need glasses but we are seeing a Vision Therapist. They said he had problems tracking ( it can cause problems reading from the board to the page and vise versa, along with some other things) We went to a eye dr. who did not just check his vision for 20 20 sight. Maybe u could look into that. I am not sure what area u live in but I am in horsham, PA and I know of a really good dr. if u are interested. it is hard these days when there are so many things they have come out with now that can be the reasons for why our children have problems. I know it is hard to see ur son struggle, it will get better. If u would like more info on the dr. i was telling u about and what they do email me at ____@____.com that this was some sort of help, even if it is just to know u and ur son are not alone.
K.

Since my son was really little he's been sensitive about his clothes... tags, seams in his socks, etc. He's also sensitive to what people think of him... he decided when he was about 2 that he would no longer wear overalls because they made him look stupid *blinks* I couldn't believe that at his age! He went to preschool when he was 4 and liked it and looked forward to kindergarten. Not longer after he started kindergarten though he started not wanting to go to bed at night because he didn't want to get up in the morning. He was difficult to get up, didn't want to get read, argued about clothes. It was awful. I thought omg I can't do this for the next 12 years!! Towards the end of the year it got even worse until he was even in tears one night saying he was stupid. Apparently his teacher was trying to "prepare" them for 1st grade and said if they didn't do this and that that they would fall behind and never do well, etc. She didn't mean to scare him half to death but did anyway *sigh*. Fortunately, kindergarten ended and 1st grade was completely different. He's in 2nd grade now and doing well and likes going to school! In our experience it was simply the teacher and her "methods" combined with his feelings made for a very unhappy year.

Hi M. - I just joined, so I hope you'll still get this response. Your son sounds just like mine. Starting in kg, I felt something just wasn't right He is very smart and well behaved, but didn't want to go to school and came home with headaches. He wasn't being bullied and had lots of friends, but he felt like he was "stupid'. i took him to Kennedy Kreiger Institute on the advice of my ped. because we couldn't pinpoint the problem. It turns out he has an auditory processing disorder. Bottom line is that his hearing is normal(hypersensitive as a matter of fact), but his brain can't hear the words. He doesn't always hear word beginnings or ednings, so he makes them up. he has some trouble following verbal instructions because his brain can't process the words like ours do. he also has a short term memory deficit, common with apd. I got him an IEP at school. he always needs to sit in the front of the room,the teacher is supposed to make sure he understood verbal unstructions. He also has an FM system. It's like a radio that sits on his desk. The teacher wears a small microphone. This blocks out all other noise but the teachers voice. Once these plans were started, he became a different child. he still has trouble with things. I have to stay right on top of him and make sure the school does what it's supposed to, but there are things you can do to help. Kids with this are usually the ones who fall between the cracks. I have a fantastic audiologist who specializes in apd. if you should ever need his name, no problem.

hi M.!
i was wondering where his diagnosis that he had to wear glasses came from? i ask this because my daughter has been through few optomologists...and just because he wears glasses does not necessarily mean he is getting the best treatment. i would recommend having him tested (i can give you my daughter's doctor's name)with a series of tests that doesn't just reflect sight, but whether or not his eyes are working together, lazy eye, ect. just because his eyes don't wander, doesn't mean they work together.
my daughter was struggling too, now we take her to vision therapy once a week and do therapy @ home...and what an improvement!
vision delays are very common, and in fact, most children labeled with a.d.d. actually have a vision or auditory processing issue that is difficult to detect, and easy to label under the umbrella of a.d.d. i was fortunate enough to work in special ed and know what to look for, and thankfully caught my daughters vision problems early on. don't delay getting him treatment, it gets harder the older they get!
if you have any questions, please feel free to message me.
best of luck! M.