Poopy Training!

Hi S.,

I have a son who is also 2 1/2 and potty trained himself. So wonderful that was. Going #2 was not a big issue for us after the first few times. I do recall then and even still, when he hasn't gone in a 24 hour time frame, his poop is hard and it does hurt him to be released. I try to make sure his eats and drinks things that help keep his stool soft. ie. raisins, raisin bran, granola bars, mini wheats, juice, watermelon, etc. Reading books or rubbing his back or singing songs has helped to get his mind off of pooping. His body then relaxes and it becomes easier for him to go. I'm sorry if this is to graphic, but, i went #2 once or twice and showed him, then we would flushed and say " bye bye poopie" (which we still do). Alot of the time its been very helpful to my son just to sit on the "big" toliet while he was on the potty chair trying to go. He does need to get over the fear of it. He fear could possibly be thinking "something is coming out my body and then we are just going to flush it away". After a few times of this he caught on right away. We havent had any accidents- #1 or 2 in about 2 months now. He does still sleep in diapers at night however. That will be our next battle, soon enough.
Good Luck

Don't have any advice, going through the same thing myself!!! Quite frustrating! It's good to know I am not alone. Love to hear the advice you get....

There is NOTHING wrong with a laxative. Let me tell you first hand... when my son (who is 5 now) before he was about 2, one day complained about his stomach hurting. I thought he just needs to poop. He was going, somewhat - so I thought nothing of it major until he kept doing it and it was getting worse by the end of the day. It got to the point where he'd litterly hit the floor crying saying it hurt. I called his Dr who said to take him to the ER for xrays, if it was intussive (sp?) he could need surgery. Xrays showed he was very constipated and needed the laxative. From there till NOW, we still give him Benefiber periodically because he won't go poop. He'll pee, but for some reason will fight going to poo. Sometimes he's too busy and won't want to go. We can tell by the way he holds his body he HAS to go and he'll sit on the floor behind the chair to stop it I guess. He'll mess his underware up a little and go change them himself - sometimes without us knowing. (That is why he has about 20 pairs!) What we do is we make him go, he'll sit there and fuss - of course. After like 5 minutes of not going, we let him off. If we still see signs of him having to go, we MAKE him sit and he must stay there even sometimes if takes 10 minutes. He HAS to go. He won't go in his underware completely nor will he do it in his bedtime diaper = yes, he still wets at night so night time diapers. I guess it's the Taurus in him! Stubborn. We have to keep him regular!!! House of men! Bless you woman!! :P
A.

I understand your frustration! My son(now 13)was like your son; except he would come to me and say "I need a diaper, I need to go poop." So I would put a diaper on him, he'd go,and I'd change him. It made me crazy,like you I tried rewards, threats, etc and really cheap diapers.Finally I realized it was now a power struggle and he just wasn't ready to completely give up being a baby. So I happily went went along.One day he was out with my husband and needed to go poop.My husband explained that he didn't have a diaper and they really couldn't go home so lets just try and sit on the potty and make a pee-pee, knowing that hopefully once he started peeing he would probably poop. And that is what happened. My son was so proud of himself.

So I guess my advice to you is just to step back; get out of the power struggle and when he is ready to finish this process of going from baby to big boy he will. Explain to him that when he needs to poop you will be happy to put a diaper on him (less expensive than pull-ups), use any potty or toilet and that he can choose.Try to keep it positive. After that -- make no mention of going poop,don't even ask,and see what happens. Once he thinks that you no longer care it becomes a non-issue.

Hope this helps.

Went through exactly what Kathy is describing. My daughter when she was 3 had been potty trained to go #1 in the potty for over 6 months and nights. She'd get home, rush and get a pull-up in order to go #2. It was frustrating that she wouldn't use the regular potty since she kenw she had to go. I finally listened to my friends' advice: Give a her enough prunes or mild laxatives over 2 or 3 days when she will mostly be home (I did it over a 3-day weekend). Hide all the diapers. Increase the amount of laxatives/prunes gradually until something happens. Eventually, he'll have to go. This worked well for my daughter. Good luck and be patient!

My dear S.,
Who is in charge here? You are the mommy!! Don't let this overrule your authority as the parent. I know it's frustrating, but you have to take control. Holding his bowels can cause other issues.
Give him lots of water to keep his intestinal tract lubricated (if the feces is hard, it will be painful!), apple juice worked wonders for my son (now 25 years old, with a baby on the way). I'm sure you've noticed a pattern in his bowels, when you think its time to go - Don't ask him, tell him it's time to sit on the pot. No fuss, no bribing, just fact, be firm. Sit with him in the bathroom, don't leave him, read books with him or play with a hand toy;tell him "we aren't getting up until we're done". When he finally goes on the potty, lot's of praise and how proud you are of him. Make sure to tell the poo "goodbye" when you flush! Obviously, this will take time to establish his routine and give him a sense of confidence that you're not going anywhere.
BTW, kicking and screaming never killed anyone, might be unpleasant but won't hurt him.
Best of luck!!

Wow...I was in your same boat last year with my then 33 month old daughter. My daughter learned to do #1 with hardly any accidents after a couple of weeks but refused to go #2 on the potty. It wasn't until 3 months later...a week before she turned three that she finally went on the potty and about a week after that she continually used the potty to go #2. It was so frustrating because during those three months she would always go in her undewear, she got really upset when I tried to have her sit on the potty. I did a lot of wash and used a lot of bleach. I too thought about putting her back in pull ups, which looking back I think does them more harm then good, but she refused to wear them anyway. Her doctor said it best when she said Think about it, us adults are used to going on a toliet..what if someone told you no you cant go on the toliet anymore, go stand in that corner and go. It's very hard them to change something that they've been used to doing for so long. Thinking about it that way made me a little more understanding of the situation. Looking back those three months have been the most stressful part of being a mother so far! LOL Well her teacher at preschool suggested the treasure chest idea. We took a box and my daughter decorated her treasure chest with markers and stickers. I went to the dollar store and bought 15 different little gifts/candy and wrapped them up and put them in the treasure chest. We told my daughter that whenever she went #2 on the potty she got to get a prize from the treasure chest. We had tried to bribe her saying that we would buy her a toy etc. in the past so I didnt think this would work either but it did. Two days later she went #2 while she was at school and all she could talk about was about how when she got home from school she could get a present from the treause chest, she was so excited ! Her teachers made her feel very special that day and they all sang a potty song and she was covered from head to toe with stickers! I even came home from work that day and gave my daughters a balloon and some more stickers. She felt so special! The following week was 50/50 with going on the potty/underwear but at the end of the week she continued to use the potty to go #2 on a continuous basis. I'm not sure if this will work for your son but it's worth a shot. In the meantime make sure he drinks lots of juice and eats fruit to keep him going. My daughter had the same problem with holding it in and then her tummy hurt which made it even scarier for her to go on the potty. Good luck and let us know how it's going!

Don't put pull ups on him, that isn't going to help anything! It is great that he doesn't want them so don't go there. I would never give him a laxative either, he isn't having trouble going, he just doesn't go where you want him to. I had a "special toy" that my son knew about and knew it was for when he went poopy in the potty. He would hold poopy as long as he could and went in his underwear twice. Fortunately, he hated that feeling! So he would hold it and come to me telling me that he went poopy and needed a wipe. Of course, he hadn't gone yet. I would sit him on the potty and he would jump up as soon as he felt it coming. He would come back to me 5 minutes later asking for a diaper and I told him we didn't have any and it needed to come out in the potty. We would sit again and repeat! I read to him, played with him (play doh is great, bring a little table in) and we would do this I can't tell you how many times. Finally it was happening because he started screaming and crying! He kept telling me to go change him or wipe him and I told him that doesn't work! I told him that when I was a kid, my mommy would hug me if I had a hard time going. finally it was coming and there was nothing he could do about it, so he sat and cried while I hugged him. It was so horrible! But he went and after he calmed down he was so relieved! We got him dressed and through some tears he asked about the special toy and I gave it to him, he was sooooo pumped. I then had two more toys, one for the next time he went on his own and one for the time we officially declared him potty trained. It only took the one time and he has gone on his own ever since, sometimes 4 times a day! I would stay away from the habit of going in pull ups or diapers, that will only set you back. My son has always gone on the regular potty with his own seat on top, so I'm sure yours is fine.

First, I have he Bjorn toilet insert which is fabulous. Easy for them to sit on and it has a sanitary handle for picking it up.

Two, a lot of kids are scared it will hurt. Try letting him wear his pull-up, while sitting on the potty, to poop. Then when he is finished, while he is still on the pot, unhitch the pullup and let the poop fall into the toilet (simulating him pooping). Then cheer like crazy. All my nieces and nephews had to experience this before they would do it. You need to show him that it will not hurt.

I lucked out with my son. I made him yellow rice with Olive Oil instead of butter (healthier). The olive oil kinda acts like typical oil, it makes you poop. It also acts as a stool softner (I know gross). Ten minutes after eating it, I sat him on the pot to pee-pee. He started tooting, and surprise surprise he pooped. He was shocked and then really excited to see it. I think because he did not have to "push" it out, it spared him from thinking about what he was doing. He's not totally consistent now, but he will go on the potty 2-3 times a day.
Hope this helps
P.

S.,
I, like some of these other mother's and yourself went through the same thing with my daughter. She was potty trained to pee pee at 2years old for about 7 months before the poopie thing. She would however sleep really hard(which she still does)and not wake up to go pee. So we still used the pullups at night. She refused to go poopie on the potty, she would cry and say she was scared, not sure why. I would bring her in when I went and show her and tell her it was ok, she is just stubborn. She would go get a pullup herself and put it on and go poop, then come to me with the box of wipes and tell me she needed changed. It drove me absolutely nuts! The rewards didn't work, nothing worked, until she conquered her fear, I guess! Because one day she went poopie and figured out it wasn't so scary and didn't hurt her. So, I guess my solution to you would be, just bear with your son and he will come around, like with anything else. Sometimes they just get something in their little heads and nothing you say or do will convince them different.
Good luck to you and your son!
S.
P.S. I can tell you that they will hold it and can possibly get impacted if you push the issue too hard, my niece had to go to the hospital and they had to physically clean her out. Which was very tramatic for her and us! Plus the Dr. said it can make them physically ill from being impacted, she didn't get sick from it but he said she definately could have.

I have the exact same problem....so I'm tuning in to see what is said!!