Today was a really bad day for my son. He is on the spectrum but I have heard from a friend that her daughter does this too and she is "normal". He took his diaper off tonight (upstairs while I was cooking downstairs) and pooped a tiny bit and somehow it got onto the floor and then he and my youngest wrote on the wall with it. I am not sure what I am really asking, maybe just venting cos I am grossed out and dont want this to start/continue. And I do not want to have to check on him every 2 minutes either.
I am not sure why but a few months back he started being afraid to poop after A. episode of constipation he had. I asked a few questions on this recently just fyi. He has just recently started taking his diaper off when he has to potty. When he feels the poop coming he removes it, I guess it is a retaliation against pooping. He thinks that it wont come if he doesn't have a diaper on? not sure just a guess. He has been good with keeping his diaper on and not taking it off until after he pees but recently he will also poop, take his diaper off and shake it out onto the floor. He did this 4 times today and he even pooped and peed a little in his toy shopping cart. I am so disgusted. we just moved into this townhome last week and it is fully carpeted so now I have remnants of poop in my carpet no matter how well I've cleaned it. We had a problem in the past with him taking his diaper off and peeing on the carpet in secret A LOT.
So my second question for moms and dads that have two plus floor in your house, Do you let the kids play "upstairs" for a while with out checking on them? How long? It seems like they are always getting into trouble now that we live in a second story townhome than they did when we were in a tiny apartment all the time. They are quiet most of the time when they are upstiars in their play room or in our bedroom or their bed room. and Usually when they are it is because they are being naughty. My oldest likes to remove the night light from the outlet and has discoverd that the metal prongs can "write" on the wall. He calls it art, he called the poop art today too. I said, "NO, that is NOT art!"
ETA: They both just turned 2 and 3 a few months ago.
ETA#2: He is not ready to potty train yet. I do ask him and try. he did pee on the toilet for a few weeks when he was 2.5 but then he just stopped. Not sure Y.
I used duct tape on my kids! As for letting them play alone upstairs, I dont think at their ageI would have been comfortable with it. I always had mine close by where I could see and hear them.
To deal with removing the diaper put him in overalls/shortalls put on backwards, making sure the straps are snug so he cant slip out of them, AFTER you have duct taped his diaper.
Start at the back of the diaper and wrap the tape around the diaper completely at least once ending it in the back. Then put on the overalls backwards. I had to do this with my guy when he was not quite ready to train but delighted in removing his diaper :-/ We did it for about 3 months (he was persistent in trying) before the novelty wore off and he was ready to train (he trained at 27 months.) If you don't want to put him in overalls but regular clothes get Gorilla Tape and use that, you gotta do what you gotta do to outsmart him.
Oh, and my mom still tells the story of how I was 18 months, wearing a white dress, and she walked into the living room and I had removed my diaper, pooped and smeared it on my dress and the front living room window. She even has a picture of me with dirty hands in the air when I was caught, like a criminal, and for some reason that picture has not disappeared in over 50 years :-/ She potty trained me starting that very day.
Kind of scary that your little guy is removing the nightlight, I would take it out of the room. Little ones and outlets don't mix. Plus the fact he is doing art on the wall with the prongs, good reason to remove it.
And I would say that he is ready to train, it's not A. option, it's a process. Tell him that writing with poop tells you he's a big boy and can pee and poop in the potty. And don't "ask" him, tell him it's time to use the potty. You may be able to train the two of them together since they seem to like to do the same things, removing one's diaper IS a sign of potty training readiness.
And, no, I don't leave little ones upstairs alone for longer than a few minutes, talking to them the whole time and asking them what they are doing. I had a friend whose son, a friend of my daughter's, tried to climb out the window while Mom was downstairs talking to someone and he fell out the window and was killed. The paramedics at the scene were crying and i still remember it like it was a few days ago, and it was over 20 years ago. If you can't trust your boys (you said they are always getting in trouble now) I wouldn't leave them alone. Keep them with you until you have time to be with them in the same room.
I can hear your frustration. I must say, I would not and did not let my children play upstairs when they were this age; while I was down stairs. Writing with poop grossed you out, but there could have been a real emergency. At 2 & 3, no one is old enough to be "in charge". As far as diapers, my kids ran around without & then it was a game to run to the potty as soon as it was "happening"
Every child has their own pace and plan to learn though. I have actually heard of people using duct tape to secure the diaper as Dawn suggested. I used cloth so I don't actually know how that works.
As for the carpet-probably professionally cleaned at some point; or rent a machine from the store. Don't stress. It does happen with children.
I wish you luck & patience with this. Also, don't assume it is a spectrum thing because children do all kinds of creative off beat things..all children! (:
He needs to be in overalls. That way he can't get the diaper off. Of in clothes that you can fasten in the back. He will continue to do this, it's just one of those joys they find.
I let the kids finger paint with pudding. It will stink like crazy if you don't let it completely dry. I also have made it with water instead of milk. It is fun, they can eat it, it gives them that tactile sensation they need too.
I always liked to use cooking kind since it just felt creamier and tasted better too. Then if you get something like Pistachio pudding it really feels wonderful to them.
There are lots of things to fulfill this urge. Just google tactile play time or something similar.
Play Doh once he's old enough is a good one too. They just need to have tactile experiences.
Maybe put a potty in his playroom? He *might* gravitate toward using it, and once he's used to that, you can get him to use the bathroom in the bathroom...
As far as the playing upstairs... I wouldn't feel comfortable with it. If I can't hear my DD, I get nervous. I let her play on her own without direct supervision (she is 2) but I want to be able to hear her at all times. Even then, I check on her quite a bit.
I would be especially nervous about the stairs... even with baby gates, they can be dangerous without A. adult around. I know my DD has figured out how easy it is to get around them by pushing a toy in front to climb over... I wouldn't want to risk her doing that in front of a flight of stairs! I think I would much rather bring a crate of toys to keep in the area where you spend most of your time.
If he removes his diaper when he feels the poop coming, put him on the toilet and teach him where the poop goes. Just be consistent with it. At this point, making him poop in his diaper by taping it on is teaching him to poop in his diaper. And that's a hard habit to change. It sounds like he doesn't like the way a poopy diaper feels, so show him a better way. It sounds like he is ready to train - he knows it's coming and he is able to undress himself. Teach him the next steps. It won't happen overnight, and it won't magically happen by itself. You have to be consistent and you have to teach him when and how it's done. Set him up for success by sitting him on the potty when he has to go, and then heap all sorts of praise upon him when it works. But now that he's ready, don't miss your window of opportunity!
You need to put overalls on him, C.. You can find the short pants overalls - Osh Kogh B Gosh type pretty easily. Criss cross the straps and he can't get them off.
Duct tape also prevents him from taking off his diaper...
You don't have to allow him to take off his diaper - you can prevent it.
Dawn
My son did the poop painting, has adhd and sensory issues - the ONLY thing that worked was a COOL (not COLD but not Warm either) shower - twice and it never happened again.
To me, if he's taking his diaper off before he poops, it's because he doesn't like the feeling of the poopy diaper. To me that's a sign that he is ready for potty training.
If you know that they are being naughty upstairs when they're quiet, I would be listening intently. As soon as they become quiet, go up and see what they're doing. If they keep doing things like this, then they are not allowed upstairs unless your or dad are up there.
I think this is a combintation of getting used to the new house and the freedom they have when they're upstairs without supervision.
ok, probably gonna gross you out, but I want you to know that you are NOT alone, and this behavior does go away. :) My nephew that I have custody of, (so my son) Did this at age 4 to 5. He had some pretty bad baggage, and is also on the spectrum. He is delayed about 18 months. He did this during naptime, but in his case, he redecorated the entire room, walls, floors, every toy, in drawers, all hanging clothes, etc. Pretty much everything was touched. He had been constipated for almost a week, so when he finaly went, he went a LOT. UGH! I wanted to die. Worst part was, he "painted" his little sister as she slept in her bed in the same roon. OMG! I thought I smelled something "funny" so I opened the door, (he was quiet as a mouse) and checked on him. I almost DIED when I saw what he was doing!! He even had it under his nails, and to make your stomach turn more, because of his Asperger's he can't keep his finders out of his MOUTH!!! I had both kids in the shower before you could say nasty baby. I scrubbed those kids and scrubbed those kids................ EWWW! It took me almost 5 hours to get the bedroom clean, and then we had to watch him everytime he went to the bathroom for a few months, because he had a weird fascination with his bowel movements after that. (no idea why) His therapist and doctors said it was "typical" behavior for the Aspie kids, but I really wanted to die. Anyway, he just turned 11, and is quite clean, never does anything like that, and is a wonderful hygenic little boy. (well, most of the time) LOL! So, the point of my TIM story........ it WILL get better, and it does stop!! :) Hang in there!!
