Please Take My Survey

1. Do you both work? No, I’m a SAHM

2. How many hours a day does your husband spend at work (including commute)? 10 to 12

3. Does he help with the kids and dinner clean-up afterwork? Not really, sort of agreed that that's my job since I stay home. He always does bath time for our daughter.

4. How much time out of the day does he spend alone? 45min in the morning at the gym and not really any alone time in the evening. He will play XBox early in the morning on the weekend before our daughter and I get up.

5. How much time out of the day does he spend with the kids, playing, talking, reading, etc? During the week, he's only home for about an hour before she goes to bed and we usually go on a family walk, feed baby and have bath time during that time.

6. How much time out of the day does he spend alone with you? Once our daugher is asleep, we eat and watch tv together until bed, so a few hours maybe.

7. How many times in a work day do you call, text or e-mail each other? about 5 times on average. Usually email bc it's easiest.

8. Is your husband often difficult to get a hold of? Sometimes, but not to the point of it being a problem. If it's an emergency I can always get him.

9. Do either of you have friends from work the other has never met? If so, do either of you do things outside of work with these friends?
Not really. Maybe on occasion someone will be there that we don't know but most everyone else there we know well.

10. When he leaves the house for an evening with friends, does he tell you exactly where he’s going to be? Yes, always.

11. Does he call you while he’s out? Usually texts me several times but is never out that late.

12. Do you keep track of each other’s spending, i.e. share receipts, etc? For the most part. As long are our bills are paid though, it's not a big deal. Big purchases are discussed.

13. How much traveling does your husband do for work? How long is he usually gone at stretch? He travels 1-3 times a year usually 2 days at a time.

14. While he’s traveling, does he call you before he starts his day? Of course.

15. When he’s away how long do your phone calls last at the end of his day? Not that long because we usually talk when possible during the day. (or text)

1. Do you both work? Yes we both work full time jobs

2. How many hours a day does your husband spend at work (including commute)? gnerally about 10, occassionally 14hrs

3. Does he help with the kids and dinner clean-up afterwork? Dinner clean up, not really, kids do that mostly, but he spends alot of time with the kids. (we have 5 kids (4 kids living in the house)

4. How much time out of the day does he spend alone? This can vary. If he is stressed he spends alone time on his video game, but other that that he doesnt really have alone time.

5. How much time out of the day does he spend with the kids, playing, talking, reading, etc? As much time as he can. They play video games, he does homework for them. He is also head coach for the two oldest boys pee wee football team.

6. How much time out of the day does he spend alone with you? Our alone time is in bed. We watch a couple of shows together that we like such as house and biggest looser. So the time can vary depending on how tired we are really. I usually fall asleep first...lol

7. How many times in a work day do you call, text or e-mail each other? I usually call him on the breaks and lunch. If he can talk he answers and we talk for about 5 minutes. I call him when I leave work just to day I am on my way home.

8. Is your husband often difficult to get a hold of? Sometimes, which can be annoying, but its not enough to be a huge deal.

9. Do either of you have friends from work the other has never met? If so, do either of you do things outside of work with these friends? Neither of us have met most of each others co workers, I have met a couple of his when taking things to him occassionally, but we usually dont go out with co workers either. We both have a time or two over the years, but dont have a reason to thinks there is anything wrong with that.

10. When he leaves the house for an evening with friends, does he tell you exactly where he’s going to be? We dont get to tget out alot, especially without the other, but yes we always know where the other is going. Its just out of respect.

11. Does he call you while he’s out? Sometimes...lol...

12. Do you keep track of each other’s spending, i.e. share receipts, etc? Nope not at all. Just make sure everything is paid. We even have seperate accounts.

13. How much traveling does your husband do for work? None

14. While he’s traveling, does he call you before he starts his day? N?A

15. When he’s away how long do your phone calls last at the end of his day? Again N?A...

1)yes ,i a wham
2)15 hours a day
3)clean up yes,kids sometimes
4)no alone time
5)45 minutes-1hour
6)1hour-2 hours
7)8 times a day we call short call like 3 to 5 min each call
8)no
9)he has a friend i have not met but he does not go out after work with them
10)he does not go out with friend we ususally always go with a family and when he does i know where he is all time

11)yes
12)not usually i lost a receipt we always tell each how much we pay each tiome we go out
13) when he have one usually if he can we make family quick vacation
14)yes
15)1 hour

If you are a SAHM and he is working 12-13 hours a day to let you do that then you should just be grateful.

I have to agree with Erin. Don't show the surveys to your husband. It seems the surveys are for you to compare your husband and then tell him what he's doing wrong. I'm with you in that I wish sometimes mine participated more with my kids (gave a bath last night after 6 mos) and maybe sometimes he'd call while he's at work, but those things don't mean he doesn't want to be with you and the kids. If you're having a hard time discussing wants and needs, seeing a counselor is helpful. Don't be shy to do it. So many more couples have seen one than you likely imagine.

1. Do you both work? No, I’m a SAHM

2. How many hours a day does your husband spend at work (including commute)? 8-10, works from home; so, no commute

3. Does he help with the kids and dinner clean-up afterwork? Yes to both; helps with dinner often.

4. How much time out of the day does he spend alone? very little...probably too little. ;)

5. How much time out of the day does he spend with the kids, playing, talking, reading, etc? 3-4 hours, including bed-time story, prayer, and songs.

6. How much time out of the day does he spend alone with you? 2-3

7. How many times in a work day do you call, text or e-mail each other? 3-4

8. Is your husband often difficult to get a hold of? no

9. Do either of you have friends from work the other has never met? If so, do either of you do things outside of work with these friends? Not very many I haven't met; all except one is out of town. They all live out of town, though. Not much "outside" activity with them, no.

10. When he leaves the house for an evening with friends, does he tell you exactly where he’s going to be? He does tell me where he goes with other people, yes.

11. Does he call you while he’s out? Yes.

12. Do you keep track of each other’s spending, i.e. share receipts, etc? Yes, for the most part. We don't track our own spending money, as it's our to do what we want with.

13. How much traveling does your husband do for work? How long is he usually gone at stretch? He travels 2-3 times a year and is gone for about a week each.

14. While he’s traveling, does he call you before he starts his day? Yes, in the morning and a call at night.

15. When he’s away how long do your phone calls last at the end of his day? 1-2 hours.

M. r, you are NOT alone! My answers are similar to yours. That being said, I hope you havent become so upset about it that you nag him. Sorry to say that-your grievances are valid- just make sure you remember to stay focused on what You can do to help the situation get better without arguing with him about who does what and how often. Good luc

1. Do you both work? Yes

2. How many hours a day does your husband spend at work (including commute)? 8 to 10

3. Does he help with the kids and dinner clean-up afterwork? Clean-up yes, kids-yes (one of us cooks, the other cleans up and we trade-off every other night for baths)

4. How much time out of the day does he spend alone? He works from home and thus spends all day alone but when we (me and our two daughters) get home around five he tries to finish up.

5. How much time out of the day does he spend with the kids, playing, talking, reading, etc? One to three hours (depends on whether its his bath night)

6. How much time out of the day does he spend alone with you? About two hours

7. How many times in a work day do you call, text or e-mail each other? Roughly once a day

8. Is your husband often difficult to get a hold of? No

9. Do either of you have friends from work the other has never met? If so, do either of you do things outside of work with these friends? No. Sometimes.

10. When he leaves the house for an evening with friends, does he tell you exactly where he’s going to be? Of course!

11. Does he call you while he’s out? Usually not.

12. Do you keep track of each other’s spending, i.e. share receipts, etc? Yes. I am the CFO of the relationship and it is my job to keep track of our spending. I do this online. We share a bank account.

13. How much traveling does your husband do for work? How long is he usually gone at stretch? He travels 3 or 4 times a year usually 1-4 days at a time (same here)

14. While he’s traveling, does he call you before he starts his day? Not usually

15. When he’s away how long do your phone calls last at the end of his day? About a half hour

Hi M. R,
I am sorry that you are having problems with your husband. And I can relate to some items on your survey, as I am sure some moms can. However, I don't think comparing your relationship to others is the answer. It looks to me like you might need some professional counseling. I have been in your shoes and we got over it with some help from a counselor. Her name is Roz Van Meter. She will get to the root of the problem. It is usually something deeper.

www.coachroz.com

1. Do you both work? Nope; I'm a SAHM

2. How many hours a day does your husband spend at work (including commute)? 10-13

3. Does he help with the kids and dinner clean-up afterwork? kids, yes & lots; clean-up, only if I ask. And sometimes I have to ask & ask & remind

4. How much time out of the day does he spend alone?
He usually stays up an hour to three hours later than the rest of us & plays video games, watches tv, etc. During the day when he's home, he doesn't spend any time alone, really.

5. How much time out of the day does he spend with the kids, playing, talking, reading, etc?
He's a very involved dad & spends his "at home" time with our kids. It's safe to say that atleast one of them is always with him.

6. How much time out of the day does he spend alone with you? We don't get much time alone. After the kids go to bed, we will watch a movie or something. Usually I'm too tired & go to bed after an hour or two.

7. How many times in a work day do you call, text or e-mail each other?
He calls every day during his lunch, unless it's a busy day. No texting, as he doesn't have a cell phone. No email, as he has no outside email at work.

8. Is your husband often difficult to get a hold of?
Nope, but he doesn't have to travel for work, so he's always in the same place.

9. Do either of you have friends from work the other has never met? If so, do either of you do things outside of work with these friends?
Sort of. He's not really into hanging out with people from work. He's gone out for drinks a time or two with guys from work I haven't met. We did have issues with "work friends" at his previous place of employment, but we were having lots of relationship issues then & nearly split up. I'm not even kidding, reading Dr. Laura's The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands SAVED us. Saved us. I hated Dr. Laura, but I was desperate & willing to do anything to make things better because they SUCKED. So I read the book, did what she said & sure enough, things changed. :) Sorry, back on to topic...

10. When he leaves the house for an evening with friends, does he tell you exactly where he’s going to be?

Absolutely. He asks if I'm okay with it way in advance. Before making plans, he makes sure I haven't already planned something & that I'm cool with what he wants to do.

11. Does he call you while he’s out?

No cell phone, so no, he doesn't call.

12. Do you keep track of each other’s spending, i.e. share receipts, etc?

We have one account & I'm in charge of the bill paying, so I look at the account online quite a bit. He usually tells me what he spends, but it's always just a lunch here & there or something from the bookstore on his way home.

13. How much traveling does your husband do for work? How long is he usually gone at stretch?

No travel required

14. While he’s traveling, does he call you before he starts his day?

N/A

15. When he’s away how long do your phone calls last at the end of his day?

N/A

I know you didn't ask for my opinion on this, but I don't think you should show your husband any of these surveys. It will only serve to make him angry. I mentioned The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands. If you're having any amount of strife in your marriage, it will so help you. I know Dr. Laura is a bit controversial & you may hate the woman; I did! But seriously, it worked for me. Even if all of your problems right now seem like they are his fault, this book will show you how to change what you are doing to get the best from him. Atleast check it out. It certainly can't hurt!