Please Offer Tips on How to Motivate an Obese Person to Workout/lose Weight.

Updated on September 14, 2010
M.4. asks from Saint Petersburg, FL
22 answers

I am young and healthy, but very overweight (aprox 150lbs). I have everything to live for and have an otherwise fulfilling life, I just had my fourth child in July and am having self-conscience issues daily with my after baby body. My husband has never said anything but "You are beautiful to me" and "I love you just the way you are". I love my parents deary, and almost don't want to mention this, but feel its important to get appropriate advise... When growing up, my parents way of making me tough was to constantly strive for more, as if what I do is not good enough... often time it was very nagtive talk. (ie., "You walked a mile? Why not two?" "You'll never find someone who will really love you because NO ONE likes fat people" "You will never get a good job because a thinner person will be chosen over you") Mind you, these comments were made when I was in high school and MAYBE 30 lbs overweight. Looking back now, I was GORGEOUS and had nothing to be self conscience about, but my parents negtive drilling made me have this horrible self-image of myself.

When I went to college, food was my therapy. I gained a lot of weight in college (50lbs or so) and then with each child, baby weight hung around, I am SO ready to change my lifestyle, NOT crash diet or start a crazy exercise regime. I have 4 children, ages 2 months, 3, 4 and 5. I have a full time job. I manage my husbands business in the evneings. And we have an investment property we own and manage most weekends. Plus regular mom/wife duties: cleaning, laundry, cooking, shopping, etc. Free time is scarce. Lately, sleep has been even more scarce.

To me, although what I say above is the TRUTH, I keep thinking they sound like excuses, because, well, I think they are. Although reality is that if I don't sleep the 4 hours that I get a night, I would not be able to function to get things done throughout the day. I know that baby will eventually sleep more and eventually things will settle into a routine and my life will be easier to work with as far as committing to something to help myself... but I feel very self consience now and would like to motivate myself to still find time in my hectic life to make myself feel better.

What I am lacking the most is willpower and motivation to get started. I finally feel ready to start making myself (somewhat) of a priority, but now can't motivate myself enough to do it.

Or am I being too unrealistic with taking this on on top of everything else I have going and should I wait till baby is sleeping through the night and keep my sanity?

I jsut feelt very flubby and loose and frumpy. I don't want to be skinny.. just healthy, thinner then now, and firmer :-)

I know losing weight is a hard, long road. And I'm setting myself realistic goals (10lbs/month), but I need some help in getting started. Has anyone felt like this and succeeded? PLease share your stories with me.

What can I do next?

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B.L.

answers from Lubbock on

try weight watchers ... there is a program similiar to weight watchers and its called sparkpeople & it is free ... hope this helps & good luck! YOU CAN DO IT! :)

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M.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I am also going to suggest you do weight watchers. Do it online so you don't have to worry about going to meetings. You have a crazy busy life and what you need is for easy food choices to be available to you. I bet you are living off the stuff you feed to your kids-handfuls of goldfish crackers, finishing off their mac and cheese, etc. You probably don't have the time to put together anything nutritious and low cal for yourself to eat. WW can totally help you with this. After a while on WW you go on autopilot almost b/c you know the points in all the foods and how big the servings should be. There are also a lot of boards on their site with super supportive people. WW will also educate you on how and what to eat. HEre are a couple more tips:

First, cut out all liquid calories...no soda, juice or anything else that you drink with calories. These are the worst b/c they don't make you feel full so you still need to eat

Grill some chicken on Sunday to eat all through the week. It is a great source of protein and will help you feel full.

Also make a big salad at the start of the week to eat every day. Cut up veggies to nibble on.

Never skip breakfast- the more that you skip meals the more that you will overeat later. My favorite is peanut butter on light english muffin.

When you are cooking for your kids pop in a Halls-tastes so strong it ruins anything that you want to nosh on.

Of course, stay away from white flour and sugar.

TRY to get some more sleep. Studies have shown that there is a hormone (gherlin maybe?) that you need to regulate hunger and you don't get this unless you get enough sleep. You probably are much more hungry than a tyrpical person if you are only getting 4 hours a night.

I get SHAPE and Women's Health magazines and they always have very inspirational stories of people who have lost a lot of weight. You may want to check them out.

You are on the right path in wanting to make lasting lifestyle changes. It HAS to be like that in order to keep weight off. Best of luck to you.

4 moms found this helpful

E.H.

answers from Kokomo on

I understand how you feel. Gaining wieght can happen so easily sometimes for some people. After I had my daughter I gained so much weight (about 100lbs more than my prepregnancy weight) so quickly I had no idea it was even happening. I was staying at home with her, getting no sleep, got very depressed and anxious and just over all kind of lost myself.
I had never had to excercise(I hate it), never had to watch what I ate and my weight barely ever changed no matter what I did. Then when it did come it was such shock, I felt so out of control of my own body and therefore weight lose seemed impossible.
I eventually got myself more mentally and emotionally by getting medication and therapy, becoming more independant of my partner, cherishing my daughter, and taking classes at the local college. I even did appearance changes. I put lotion on all the time, dyed my hair, cut it, got some clothes and shoes for myself, even made myslef shave ,y legs more often! lol After many of these changes I just felt better about myself. I gained confidence in myself, my abilities, and personality that I never had before.
I very slowly began and have continued to lose or maintain weight, I didn't have to fill up the empty time of feelings with food.
Obvioulsy you are a busy and active person, it is not possible for the lazy sterotype to be true when you have that many children and work that much. You just need to work on making yourself feel better for any kind of diet or excercise shange to work and become a lifestyle change.
We also decided now was the time to have another child so I got a bit more serious about my diet and activity level for fear of having complications due to still being overwieght. I lost weight in a very healthy and Dr approved way throughout my pregnancy. A couple days ago I was 17lbs under the weight I was the day I took my pregnancy test.
I will tell you a couple of the things I did that were easy. I got a tredmill and walk while watching tv or with my daughter. I tried to do it as much as I could, and always made myself go 2 mintues after the point that I really wanted to stop at. The tredmill was the easiest for me because for one walking is all there is to it. I could also focus on other things while doing otherwise I find excercising mind numbingly boring!
I also just would not let myself even buy chips or sweets. Everyonce and a while a thing of prigles NOT a bag of chips. And for sweets I kept tons of fruit around. Fruit is sweet and great for snacking, especially grapes. The sweetness and texture is similar to candy. The key is to not even have the stuff in your house. It is much easier to have will power in the store than late at night, after the kids go to bed, and you want to watch a good show on the couch. Make yourself buy only the good stuff at the store.

Well I'm sure more people might have better diet or excercise advice but I just wanted to let you know you are not alone and there are things you can do. You have to find a way to make yourself feel better inside before ever trying on the outside!

Sorry this was soooo long!

3 moms found this helpful
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S.G.

answers from Fort Myers on

You are asking one of the hardest questions ever. The #1 thing that helped me was weight watchers (just the counting calories part, not buying their actual food) and walking everyday. I walk when I first wake up (before the kids are awake) so I don't allow myself to get on the computer, have breakfast, nothing until that 30 minute walk is done. If I can manage another walk later with the kids that's great, but if not, that's OK too. Then I count calories and keep all the junk out of the house. It has forced my kids to eat healthy too. If it's not in the house it can't be eaten. I buy lots of fruits, veggies and dip, and a few healthy treats like Gudernoobs and yogurt. Best of luck to you; you are your kids #1 role model!

3 moms found this helpful
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R.W.

answers from Tampa on

Yep, Know where you are coming from. I was a skinny beautiful child and teenager but I never knew it. My Dad labeled the name Fat Brat on me and I always thought I was fat. I love my Dad and he is sorry now that he did that and didn't realize what he was doing to me mentally. It was just a nick name but I didn't know it. Guess I was chubby at one time when I was a baby and he started calling me that and never quit. I lost all of my baby weight from nursing. I take it your not nursing the baby or you would be losing weight. Ten pounds is a unrealistic goal. The doctor said to set our goal no higher than four pounds a month. My husband and I both lost a lot of weight the first year while the girls were still in college. Now that they are home it is harder to stick to it. He put us on a low carb diabetic diet and it worked. Now he is wanting us to switch to the Weight Watcher diet. He says it is easier and healthier yet. My daughter got a Wii and we play just dance and now she has Wii Fit plus. They are both fun to do and you can do them in your home without having to get a sitter. Honestly, I think it's a lot easier to stay in shape if you have someone to work out with and spend time with that has your same goals in mind. A skinny friend is not the person to help. Play with your kids. That will help you lose the weight. Drink water, no juice or soda. That's what the doctor told us. A guy that works with my husband has lost over 100 pounds by stopping drinking Coke. Most people don't realize how many carbs and calories are in one can or bottle. Keep the ice cream out of the house. Another big down fall and nothing but carbs. Learn to read your calories and carbs on the containers. Write down everything you put in your mouth including water. You should be drinking at least 8 to 10, eight ounce glasses of water a day. I found if you drink all the water your supposed to you can't eat as much. Drink a full glass of water a half hour before meals. It honestly works and you feel fuller and won't eat as much. My sister in law fills a gallon jug of water every morning and her goal is to drink it all before bed time. So if she is hungry she will drink her glass of water first, wait 30 minutes and then if she is hungry eat a small meal and drink more water with her meal. Water flushes the fat cells from your body. I hope this has helped. I know I have to get myself back on track again.

3 moms found this helpful

T.N.

answers from Albany on

I like Weight Watchers too, teaches you more to understand why you overeat than to just DIET.
Edit: Holy Cow! Ouch! There was a wide spread misunderstanding that you weighed 150lbs, not you were 150 lbs overweight. It was pointed out to me by another Mom that I (and others) had misunderstood your post, so as to be sensitive she sent me a private message. And so as to be sensitive as well, I changed my post to a more appropriate response. I sincerely apologize for the confusion.

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E.W.

answers from New York on

Just start by making small changes. In you diet and in your life. Eat more fruits and veggies. Stop eating out (assuming you do for lunch or what not). Use ground turkey instead of ground beef. Use oil instead of butter, Eat salads with little to no dressing before dinner, Etc. Also, on your lunch hour- take a walk. On the weekends, take the kids to the park and run and play with them. Or have your husband run and play with them, while you walk/run. At 150lbs overwieght, small things will make a big difference. Once you loose about 50-75lbs, then you will need to step up the cardio and exercise.
Nonetheless, good for you for being ready to make a change to live a healthier lifestyle. I truly hope you reach your goal.

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K.C.

answers from San Francisco on

start by making small choices in your daily routine that support the lifestyle you want. Maybe it's cutting out certain foods like processed foods and adding more whole foods. Maybe it's taking a pilates class 1 day a week or something else that will stimulate you physically and mentally. Maybe you should focus less on a number and more on things that make you feel better, including getting more sleep ;-) One things for sure, how you feel about yourself will reflect on your children, so what you do for yourself your also doing for them. You can make positive changes and you will! Good Luck!

2 moms found this helpful

L.M.

answers from Orlando on

M.,
I can totally hear your frustration and pain. I can't say that "I know how you feel" because I haven't been in your situation. However, first and most importantly, you have 4 beautiful children and a husband and family who love you. But I do understand that it's just as important for you to feel good about yourself. Prehaps having a personal trainer come to your house could be a start. I don't know where you live, but I am a personal trianer. I do 30 minute sessions. Yes, 30 minutes is not only very effevtive but also efficient! I know that most people think they can't afford it, but I do my best to keep the cost low. Even if you do it just to get you started it would be worth it.
I would be happy to talk with you even if I'm not in your area. I'd like to help if I can.
L.
____@____.com

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M.J.

answers from Sacramento on

You might consider Weight Watchers' online only program. I am too busy for meetings, so it was a great fit. They're about making a lifestyle change not dieting. No foods are off limits. You just learn to eat healthier and smarter, and to find simple ways to fit in exercise (they give you points for vacuuming, for example). I even lost 2 lbs. on a cruise and that was with eating dessert every night. I just made smart and satisfying choices the rest of the day.

I decided it was time when I went to put on my summer capri pants and couldn't zip them up. Not even my "baggy" ones. I figured they all shrunk in the dryer (LOL), so I went to the store to get some new ones. They, of course, wouldn't zip either. Rather than feeling down, I felt angry. Angry that I let this happen and I channeled that energy into getting myself back to "me." Not skinny me from high school years, just realistic me.

If you don't have the motivation or drive, no program will work. It has to come from within. You have to WANT this. It's all about readjusting your mindset when it comes to food and exercise. It doesn't have to consume lots of time and shouldn't affect your current schedule. In fact, I'd say a simple way to start is to walk 10 minutes outside of work during your lunch break each day. Increase the time as you can. Weight Watchers loves walking as an exercise choice.

Also, write down what you eat. That was an eye-opener for me when I started WW. Take a quick look at calorie and fat content counts before eating foods. Make fruits a go-to snack -- and have them ready to go: cut up apple slices, put grapes into a baggy you can grab on the way out to work, dice up melon.

Best of luck to you! It really is worth it. I have a brother who's obese and he's developed diabetes and high blood pressure because of it. I'm hoping sometime soon he'll make changes so he can be around to see his daughter grow up. Don't wait until your health issues get just as serious.

2 moms found this helpful
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K.M.

answers from Tampa on

My daughter was that much over weight after the twins. Her husband was like yours.
And we found this diet called !st personal- a guy out of South Africa, uses blood work- and my goodness it was a miracle for her- she'd been chubby since she was little- she called one day to tell me she forgot to eat lunch- and you'd have to know her to know what an amazing thing that would be- she actuall got skinny- and then realized that wasn't her ideal weight, and chose to weigh a little more- it put her weight under her control.
I would not begin to say this is the diet for everyone- but just to say that she did it for herself, and it is now under her control, not controling her.
And it was a physical thing-not will power, etc, all the things we are told, and tell ourselves.
So best of luck on your journey.k

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D.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

Do you have a YMCA near you?
I have 4 kids and it's 2 hours a day that I can just go and focus on myself and not have someone yelling at me for something.
What got my motivated to start working out is a co-worker of mine, who had 5 kids, worked 50+ hours a week and still made time to go to the gym AND she also was diabetic and managed it with her diet. Being around her made me feel lazy!

I had never been an exerciser until a couple years ago. Now I'm a runner and it is seriously one of my favorite things to do! I love it!

As far as diet is concerned, don't buy the bad things. Sometimes I get cravings for junk food and we don't have it around the house, so I don't have to give in! It was hard getting used to at first, but you'd be surprised how short of a time it's not big deal.

1 mom found this helpful

P.W.

answers from Dallas on

M.,

If you are interested in a plan I will be glad to send you mine to review. I think it is great, and it is healthy. My husband did great with it.

The thing is the mindset. Start by loving yourself the way you are. You ARE good enough. Believe your husband when he says you are beautiful. I don't know how tall you are, but 150 lbs is not necessarily far from healthy. I am not trying to discourage you from a goal, but I am wondering just how realistic you are when you look at yourself in the mirror. YOU JUST HAD A BABY!

Again, I am not discouraging you, but please don't look at this as some huge undertaking. This does not have to be soooooo hard. Just pick a plan and try it. Tell yourself you will give it 2 weeks or 30 days to see if you like it. If not, move on to the next plan. No one will stay on a plan they don't like. You know your parents were unreasonable to push you so remind yourself that if it's not the right plan for you that's okay. You are all grown up now and you get to choose. And trust yourself to make the right decision for yourself.

I read a wonderful book by Denise Linn and I want to share from her book "Soul Coaching." I would hope you could remember..... In fact consider going Right now, writing these down and putting them on your mirror:

"My Evaluation of Myself is Not Who I Am."

She also quoted Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. ~
"You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step."

1 mom found this helpful

T.C.

answers from Austin on

I read an article online, http://www.sleepfoundation.org/article/sleep-topics/obesi... that says "people who don't sleep adequately have physiologic abnormalities that may increase appetite and calorie intake". I can't figure out how to get more sleep myself, but it's something I think about a lot.
Do you get a lunch break at work? You could eat a healthy homemade lunch and take a short walk.

1 mom found this helpful
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D.S.

answers from Memphis on

I joined Weight Watchers. They have a program online or actual meetings. I like the meetings starting out because they give you a lot of help and encouragement. Once I had it under control I changed to the online program. I lost 70 lbs before my first child and I lost all I gained plus 15 more lbs after I had her. I am now pregnant with my second child and I plan to do it again after I have him/her.

People I work with could not believe the difference in me and all wanted to know what I had done. I have helped 20 plus people (I've lost count) that I work with (not including friends and family) loose weight by telling them about WW and giving them ideas and encouragement.

I gained willpower when I realized it was working for me. When I started loosing weight (week 1), I started to get motivated.

Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
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R.C.

answers from Miami on

You aren't having a motivation issue, you are overscheduled and undernourished. Getting proper sleep is a MAJOR factor in weight loss. Maybe it's time to reevaluate your priorities. Sometimes simplifying your schedule and taking quiet time for yourself and children might bring more satisfaction than running full tilt. Then you can take time to truly take care of yourself. God knows you deserve it! Be good to yourself. As for the self image issues, try EFT. www.emofree.com

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G.H.

answers from Ocala on

M. 4,

Your realistic goal of 10 pounds a month is very healthy! I just returned from a fantastic regional event in Orlando, FL for my natural products business called Qivana. They have the best weight management system that has been scientifically and clinically tested with human subjects. A husband and wife team from Gainesville, FL, lost 59 pounds together and won $2500 cash for submitting their weight loss story, documented on video.They have 5 kids! I could send you a link to many weight loss testimonies if you would like. My suggestion is to set a goal, post pics of yourself at the weight you were comfortable at, keep a journal of your food intake, and your measurements. Take photos and/or videos to record your progress. Walking is a great exercise to start out with that is very easy on the body, but produces many benefits. The Metaboliq protein shakes in this weight management program are delicious and build muscle as it reduces fat, inches and pounds. They definitely will help you to become healthier, thinner and firmer. They also teach you about smart carbs, healthy fats and good proteins, even showing you how to look at your plate with the right ratio of proteins and carbs. Drink lots of water, eat lots of veggies and some fruits. I commend you on wanting to start a healthy weight loss program and encourage you to begin now while you are already motivated.

Love on your husband who thinks you are beautiful and cherish every moment with your children. Be Blessed!

If you are interested please email me at ____@____.com. I would be more than happy to share this information and testimonies with you.

Too your great health and happiness!
~~~Gail from Ocala, FL

H.S.

answers from Cincinnati on

You probably look better than you picture yourself in your mind. My only tip, don't weigh yourself!!!! Once you change some eating habits and get into some exercise, your clothes will feel better and you could go down a size. Don't worry about that silly number. I weight myself about 4 times a year.

C.B.

answers from Kansas City on

honestly i would talk to a professional, either your MD or a therapist. because unless you are still just very hormonal from your pregnancy, this is a seriously unhealthy way to think. you seem to have a terrible opinion of yourself. that has nothing to do with your SLIGHTLY imperfect weight. you are in no way OBESE for goodness' sake.

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M.R.

answers from Columbus on

I agree with Theresa, unless you are like four feet tall...you just had a baby, are you sure that you are not a little hormonal still? Does your doctor think that you are unhealthy?

M.

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A.C.

answers from Orlando on

I am curious to know your height. If you think you are obese at 150lbs, I should probably be bed-ridden at 170. Have you ever suffered from an eating disorder? Before you even consider starting an exercise routine or diet, you really should speak with a doctor. Lack of sleep and a newborn can do a number on self-image and self-confidence. You may be suffering from postpartum depression.

I can't offer you much more advise than that because as I said, I'm 170 lbs at 5'5. I have no motivation to lose weight myself. But I eat as healthy as budget allows and stay active with my children.

Good luck!

D.H.

answers from New York on

If you are only getting 4 hours of sleep a night, you may be feeling down because you are down. 4 hours is not enough and could definitely depress your state of mind. It will also be a huge obstacle in weight management. So besides eating the right foods and the right quantity of foods, and drinking the right amount of water, you need to get the right amount of sleep for you. So go get some rest!

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