Please Help Me, Help My Friend

definetly sounds like post partum depression... her ob/gyn can put her in touch with someone who can get her on some meds/therapy to help her through this...
PPD takes on many differnt faces... not everyone is weepy and depressed looking. Some people feel overwhelmed, some may feel anger, moodiness...
if you are really close to her maybe she'll let you contact her ob/gyn and explain the situation... because as women, when we explain an abstactailment that affects us, we tend to downplay it.. ie "oh its not that bad etc etc"

Hi O.,
It sounds to me like she had post partum depression and really needs to seek counseling. It is something that will pass. I had that with my first child (who is now 16.) It's tough, you love that baby but you become so non-functional. Trust me, someone to councel her can help. This will pass, she might need someone to help her set up an appt. with someone. If she is really depressed, she might not be well enough to make that decision to get help. It sounds like your a wonderful friend...try to get her that professional that she needs.

Hello,
After having my son in October, I had some post-partum depression issues. I was directed to a wonderful program through the Jewish Family & Children's Services in waltham, MA (we currently live in Mass and are moving to Madison)called "Visiting Moms." They have mothers who meet weekly with new moms for an entire year free of charge. You can talk about anything with them. You need not be Jewish to receive this service. I would recommend contacting them and seeing if they have any affiliations if your area. It helped me tremendously.

Your friend really needs to see a doctor. She sounds like she is suffering from depression which goes back to her miscarriage. Sadly many people think that grieving after a 1st trimester miscarriage is not necessary. Having experienced this I can assure you there is a need to grieve and if ignored can lead to depression. You are a good friend to be so supportive and concerned but she needs to seek professional help for her own well being as well as that of her child.

This is a hard situation. She sounds depressed...she should talk to her dr. They can help. I hope she will bond with the baby soon. How sad for them!

I agree with Carol M, she does care because it bothers her. I also agree she needs to get help. I also agree that grieving from a miscarriage can be contribuiting to her depression. I think she's very lucky to have friend like you to care so much and i am sure with the right kind of help, she will be fine. A support group will do wonders and meds can help. I will be honest i felt the same way with my third son. It was a rough time (ready to leave thier father) and i felt i wasn't being good enough for him. I went on medication and support, it helped so much. It's like a dream because i can't even remember feeling that way, he's such a light night. I love him with all my heart and his smile lights up my nights. I am sure he has no idea, that for a little while his mother's mind was in a fog.

i myself went through this...most of it. i had a miscarriage, and about 1 yr later i got prego again. the whole time i was a wreck! i didn't want to get excited because i was afraid of this happening again, and throughout..even up to delivery, i had horrible feelings that something bad was going to happen to her. actually, even to this day (and she's now 14 months old) i have horrible feelings that something bad is going to happen (guess i'm going to be one of those neurotic mothers!) during the pregnancy i didn't want to do any of the preperation for the baby...we didn't set anything up in the room until 2 weeks before i had to go in the hospital for inducement. and i still have many moments of depression, but i do have many moments of joy playing with her. but when she was 1st born until about 3 months old, i would just hold her and cry...and i hardly put her down. i was so afraid of what could happen. i would definitely say that your friend is dealing with ppd, plus depression ontop of that because of the miscarriage. hopefully she'll be able to find someone that can help her, it's such a shame to not have those feelings for your child, especially when you know she loves them (if she didn't, she wouldn't feel bad for not having those feelings). i wish her luck!

Sounds very much like postpartum depression. Try to go with her to her ob/gyn and/or pediatrician (whichever one she will see first) and talk to them. They should recomend further steps. Don't let them ignore this! I say you should talk to them because your friend might not see the need for getting any help herself. Ask them to talk to her husband so that he understands. Was she diagnosed with depression after the miscarriage? If she had a psychiatrist then, perhaps you could just go straight to him.

Good luck and take care!!

This does sound very much like post partum. During the pregnancy she may have been feeling the anxiousness and sadness and disconnected feeling because of the previous miscarriage. But now it does seem more serious than that. However, if she is worried because she can't connect to the baby, then it sounds like deep down she does love the baby. Otherwise she wouldn't even care about forming a connection. Please try and get her to get some help/therapy. Post-partum is very natural, she is not alone in it, and there are things that can be done to help. There is everything from counseling services to medication to group meetings. She just has to seek it out. I hope she does not feel like a bad mother because if this. These feelings are not her fault and they can be helped. If she is as loving as you say and wants to feel for the new baby I'm sure that in some time she will be able to.

Has she talked to her doctor about this ... it might be that she has a bad case of post-partum and she can get help for this. Did she want this baby?

~A.~