Please Help from You All Who Have Little Girls

Updated on February 27, 2010
C.P. asks from Houston, TX
26 answers

First I want to thank you ladies for all the wonderful advice that you give! :) Ok, my daughter has been potty trained now for about 2-3 weeks, and it just occured to me that I will not be wiping her in detail 4-5x a day with diaper changes. The other day I decided to look down there, and there was some (sorry for the details) white stuff stuck to her on both sides of the inside of her tee-tee. I had to pick it off, and she hated this of course. I'm pretty sure it was toilet paper, but I felt terrible that I didn't think about checking down there sooner. She gets a bath every other day, but I may go back to daily because of this. It is so hard to get in there during her bath. I wipe her down there, but it's while she's standing, and pretty impossible to get all the way in there. What in the world do you do? I started (just a few nights ago) lying her down after her bath, and wiping. Well, since the other night it hurt, because I was picking at her it was a battle tonight.I had to force her legs apart, and she was screaming and squirming. What a mess. I feel like this area does need to be wiped daily, but how on earth can I wipe it in detail without lying her down and doing it. I should add that she's also very sensitive in that area, because she had a skin tag that was on her hynee, and we had to put medicine each night, and she cried and fought us. What do you guys do?? :(

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K.S.

answers from Columbus on

I agree with-don't pin them down or fight with them. Just stick them in the tub & it will wash off just fine. Don't go picking at it. That's all we do. And, I'm teaching her to "pat" not "wipe" after potty.

1 mom found this helpful
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A.B.

answers from San Antonio on

Just like a bunch of others have said, we also use the flushable wipes. Makes a world of difference. The only problem is that she uses too many of them at a time so we go through them faster than we should, but considering the alternative, I'm happy.

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A.P.

answers from Austin on

I second the option of flushable wipes - they won't shred in the wiping process - as she gets older and better able to understand, she can graduate to the regular toilet paper when she can be more aware of what may be getting left behind...

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S.C.

answers from Detroit on

i agree on the wipes. I use these with my 5 yr old still, once in a while i tell her go take a wipe and wipe front to back sometimes they can just use the maintence cleaning besides a bath. or if mine says hers hurts or anything it's cuz she isn't cleaning enough so i have her do that. As far as nightly cleaning i wouldn't recommend it and i would teach her to do it on her own so she understands that is HER p****** p***, as far as battling with her or FORCING anything i wouldn't either because you want her to feel comfortable with you having to look down there as u will in the future she won't with daddy or someone she dosen't know so if one night she's not having it just let her be, u don't want her to associate u or that with something negative. my 5 yr old if she has an issuse i tell her ok can i look? i won't touch but i need to loook and we r both a little uncomfortable but she knows it's circumstantial and trusts me. build that with your daughter she will need u still the next few yrs for that stuff. good luck

1 mom found this helpful

D.P.

answers from Gainesville on

on this subject had it happen to me to my daughter who is now 4 i still do this with. in stead of using toiletter paper we use the wipes for toddler i believe they are called kandoo but the have cheaper ones to.but they work well because me daughter also was not wiping good enough or the toilette paper would stick to her so her dad and i got this idea from her ped because she got an infection from her. and of all the things i never wanted to have to put meds on my daughter that young in that place.but i think if you have her use the wipes instead to tp that it will help and help you not have to do the nightly cleaning i would still check but im sure it will stop with the wipes.good luck hop this works for you..

p.s they are the wipes with the frog on there...

1 mom found this helpful
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E.M.

answers from San Antonio on

I have an almost 8 yr old daughter and I have never had this type of issues with her. Even today if she gets irritated in her p****** p*** she allows me to look at it and put some ointment. Have you tried asking her why she does not like for you to take a look? Has she been hurt? Have her checked by a Physician and see if that will help.

Good luck,
Elisa M

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S.D.

answers from Topeka on

your not to use any harsh soaps down there or clean till it sparkles let alone go down digging.A bath is fine after some mild soap then rinse well use a cup have her spread her legs open then use plain water to rinse i'm having the same issue with my daughter after she poops she wipes but doesn't make sure it is all out.My son use to come after each poop mommy do I have anymore poop then he bends over & of cousre I look to tell him yes or no.My daughter is doing the same.If she is red & irratated some diaper ointment will be fine to use.

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M.S.

answers from Houston on

Everybody has that white stuff, totally normal. I just soak my daughter in the tub everynight and dry her well. I agree that picking at her tee tee is gonna give her a complex. I give my daughter yogurt almost daily cause it's good to have that good bacteria in you ( to ward off yeast infections) and wipeing front to back to keep poop bacteria from causing a uti.

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T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

yes toilet paper is too much for a toddler esp. cheap tp that breaks apart easily, my little one uses the kandoo, and as I still have one in diapers I will use wipes if I run out of toddler ones, I dont usually recommend cheaper stuff for babies and kids b/c you dont know where they might have cut corners on the product, but if its cheaper to use baby wipes then do that!

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A.I.

answers from Dallas on

Yes definitely get the flushable wipes for her instead of her using toilet paper at that age. It will be much easier for both of you. Or you can get a water bottle with a sports top and put water in it and let her or you squirt her clean with that after pottying..kind of like you had to do after you gave birth to her.

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S.W.

answers from Houston on

When you bathe your daughter, do not use bubble bath. Use Epson salt instead. Make if fun and ask your daughter if she wants some in her hand to help you put it in the bath water. Salt will help keep away infection. Of course you know to wipe from back to front. Other than that, ask your pedi.

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G.G.

answers from Austin on

We use the flushable wipes but I only find them necessary for poo-poo, not tee-tee. As for keeping it clean, a soak in the bath every night is good enough to keep things clean. I do ask her to stand up and I do a quick wash in the area with a gentle body wash. Just make sure the area is dry before putting bottoms back on her. Let her run around naked for a bit. You might have to do daily baths but I don't think anything else is necessary. You don't want it too clean down there because that will have reverse effects and it might cause even more irritation.

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A.L.

answers from Austin on

The "white stuff" has a name: smegma. It's just dead skin cells that accumulate in the folds. Don't be too vigilant in cleaning it out - you'll just irritate the sensitve skin down there. It's ironic, but I have a relative who ended up with a skin infection from being too clean - your skin is supposed to have a certain amount of beneficial bacteria, and without it, the harmful bacteria take over.

We use the flushable wipes for poop, and soak in the tub at night. For pee, we've taught her to pat herself dry, rather than wipe, as added insurance to eliminate some of the front-to-back "directional" issues.

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K.B.

answers from San Antonio on

buy her a box of flushable wipes and have her use those instead of toilet paper- they don't leave behind little pieces and they flush. Also remember that we are not always so clean down there either but we know how to wash... teach her how to wash herself in the tub with a cloth and no soap- she will be fine.

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R.D.

answers from Austin on

I noticed the same type white discharge around my daughter's vulva when we started working on potty training. What we do is wipe her with a baby wipe (just like we normally would when she was wearing her diapers) before and after her nap and bedtime (i.e. when getting dressed for bed and when waking up in the morning). Just doing it that many times a day has really helped. Also, when she's in the tub, we have her wash her 'girl parts'. We've been having her do that since she was about 1 though, so she's comfortable with me following up to make sure she's clean. Hopefully some of the other moms have been through this and can make some reasonable suggestions.
Good Luck!
R.

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L.M.

answers from Houston on

My son is almost 8 and I still check his poopoo area periodically to make sure he is wiping effectively.

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S.S.

answers from El Paso on

Buy the flushable wipes for when she uses the bathroom.

T.J.

answers from Fort Walton Beach on

First, stop picking at the stuff down there. If it's sticking, give her a bath. It will wash off in a bath. You are going to give her a complex. I really don't find the little pieces of paper that big of a deal and see that forcing her is unnecessary fight. If you are using wipes (like most said below) and there is still little pieces left, then it's time for a bath. It's not going to be sparkly clean down there... that's why even little girls have discharge. It forces mucus out so we don't get the infections and stuff that goes on wrong down there.

I really agree with Samantha... I understand you want down there to be clean, but seriously, it's not worth the fight and force that you say you guys put up with to get a piece of toilet paper off her privates that could give her a negative association and could possibly backfire.

BTW, my daughter's name is C. too! :) Love your name!

Good luck!

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S.N.

answers from Houston on

I agree with all the other mommas. Flusable wipes! It is a must. Also make sure they know not to wipe from back to front.
Also, with my daughter I have to give her a bath every night because she isn't that great with wiping and we need to make sure she is clean down there. I let her do the cleaning and that seems to help with no battles.

J.H.

answers from Oklahoma City on

My daughter is 9 and a half months and loves using her potty but she just likes to shred toilet paper so i got the kandoo wipes and they are great! They even smell good and she likes to push the button to pop the lid so it makes wiping more fun i guess! Good luck!

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M.D.

answers from Eau Claire on

I agree, I would still use wipes if the toilet paper is a problem right now. If not every time, then use the wipes at least several times every day. If you do that, then the toilet paper will not have a chance to stick, and you won't have to go through the ordeal of cleaning it off of her.

If you do have to sometimes, maybe try doing it when you give her a bath. That way the tp will soften in the water, and you can just take a washcloth and wipe her down there in the bath.

If she does throw a tantrum, just remain firm, hold her if you need to, and do it. If she kicks or hits, be the mom, and teach her it's not okay. She'll learn; most kids this age don't like being held down, but obedience is something they learn.

I hope this gets better! God bless!
M. D

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J.H.

answers from Houston on

Keep stressing the importance of wiping. Watch for infections and not just toilet paper. I would keep laying her down each night to make sure she is clean until you know she gets it. You can also buy the "kandoo toilet wipes" for home and she can use those. They are moist wipes.

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J.T.

answers from Victoria on

my son gets this white stuff on the end of his business. in the bathtub i put his back towards me and he is facing the other way. then i put soap on my finger tips and clean it off while he is sitting in the tub. if i dont the white stuff actually acts as a glue and the skin will become fused to the tip! out new born girl has this white stuff also. its definatly not toliet paper. and if it were toliet paper you need to show your daughter not to get it up in there like that. i didnt know the front to back wipe rule untill i was out of highschool! so i began to dab instead because i couldnt get out of the habbit. sorry if that was tmi! hope it helps. off to read other responces too. great question.

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K.O.

answers from Austin on

I've lived in europe for years and seriously love how they have a shower attachment that is not fixed to the wall, it's attached to a hose so you can pull it down and very easily wash little girl's privates. I think you can get an attachment like this to put on your bath, well worth it!

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M.N.

answers from Houston on

Crazy but true! This happened to us around age 4. She would complain about itching and burning there. I made a few trips to the pediatrician thinking urinary tract infection. We talked about as we become big girls we need to take care of things a little differently. I gave her the choice of helping out with this or just letting me do it. It took weeks of fussing and explaining. Now, at the end of her bath we "do tee-tee area.". She takes the washcloth and cleans herself! My pediatrician and my neighbor, who is the worlds greatest moms, both agree that you need to get in there and clean it daily. Also, if you can let her use wipes instead of toilet paper it may get that area a bit cleaner. Good luck.

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C.C.

answers from San Antonio on

You probably should check with your doctor but my experience is that you should leave the "white stuff" there (according to our pedi). It is normal and helps to keep the area free from bacteria. Coming from a mom who is ultra sensitive due to an abusive past you could traumatize your daughter if you continue with your course of action.

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