Playing Alone

this probably is just a phase he's going through. i have 3 boys, the youngest of which is 3 fixing to be 4 in about 2 months and he is just now starting to break the habit of being so clingy that he would hang on my legs every time i would try to walk. we are still working on it a bit. i know it's frustrating and it may take a few years but he will learn. just keep telling him calmly that you need to do other things at that moment and eventually he will learn.

My daughter was the same way at that age. What I found that worked for us was getting her play versions of things I did. For instance I got her a play kitchen and had her "cook" while I was working in the kitchen. We also got her a cleaning set (a mop, broom, bucket, sponge and spray bottle) and had her play with that when I was cleaning. It got her imagination going and she started incorporating her stuffed animals or imaginary pets in her play. Good Luck!!

B. H.

Our first son (now 4.5 yrs) had no problems playing by himself from a very young age. Our second son (now 23 months) won't do hardly anything by himself. It was going to drive me crazy but then I realized that he is going through some separation anxiety. So I have just let it go and if he's happy just sitting next to me or in the same room instead of going and playing, then so be it. He'll grow out of it but the harder I try to push him to be independent, the closer he clings to me. My personal advice would be to just go with it. Don't make a big deal about it or he'll see it and think there may be something to make a big deal about and things will get worse. He'll learn to play by himself eventually. I would just try not to engage in very indepth play with him. Maybe it would help to have another child come over and play and see if that helps him break away from you.
Best of luck to you!
Jen
Mom of 3 boys 4.5 yrs, 23 months, and 4 months

This sounds absolutely normal to me. Anything else would have me wondering. *lol* They're still "babies" at that point. A good versa wrap is a good idea. This way baby is on you (front, back or hip) leaving you hands-free at the same time.

It may be a case of separation anxiety. you are doing a great job of praising and encouraging him for playing on his own. when my daughter was this age she was the same way...constantly following me all over the house. the best advice i had received for this was to keep a play area in every room of the house so that she could entertain herself while i was busy doing something in that room. this helped reduce the amount of time used to entertain her. I also used to set aside 20 minutes everyday for mommy and me time to fulfill her need to be with me. Don't worry it doesn't last forever and when you see that he's not needing you so much you will miss it. Hope this helps!

I think it is very normal, maybe a personality thing. My two boys are exactly the same as yours. We also have a playroom full of toys. Even when the boys are in there together, they will not stay in there and play together without me for more than 5 minutes. If I sit in there, they will play happily for a long time, even if I jsut sit there and do nothing. I do as much as I can in the playroom now...fold laundry, go through the mail, file my nails, anything that I can think of that needs to be done that I can do while I am in there. My boys are 16 months and almost 3YO. I am hoping they grow out of it eventually. One time I put the baby gate in the doorway to keep them in there while I was mopping the floor, and you would have thought I was torturing them to death by the way they both screamed.

My son was like that too. I thought I would go crazy, and was so envious of all the little "easy" children that my friends and relatives had... It will pass, or at least get better over time, so hang in there. What I did was to transition slowly away from whatever he was doing. Sit with him and do the big legos and get going with it. Then tell him that you have to "...." (take the clothes out of the dryer, get a drink of water, get something in another room, make a quick phone call, whatever). And tell him to "see how much bigger you can make it before I can get back". Then go a little away and come back. Stay gone longer each time. You can do this with all kinds of toys... playdough, coloring, stacking blocks, lincoln logs, etc... Over time he will begin to look forward to accomplishing it on his own to SHOW you what he has done. But be prepared, it might be until he is 5 or so before he just goes on his own and STARTS something on a regular basis. The getting started is half the problem. Best of luck to you both...
btw, my son is 9 now, and plays alone with a fantastic imagination AND plays well with others... he's a typical boy....
When your son is old enough, I highly recommend the Bionicle toys..my son can sit with those building new things for HOURS... and has since he was about 5.

Some kids are better at self play than others. Your child's personality is one that desires to be filled with companionship. He may generally have a lack of interest in the toys, but your compnay makes him want to try playing with them. I have older kids that on their own would cry, I'm bored, their's nothing to do. I can suggest everything under the sun, but get a group together and all of the sudden the crayons or cars or blocks are tons of fun. I think you hit it in the nail when you said he had a whole playroom of things to play with. I would remove EVERYTHING. Put it all in neat bins and let him pick a bin out during play time and bring it to the center, crack the lid off and say, Go Ahead, see what is inside! And walk away before he discovers it's contents, that way the wonder and excitement will distract him from your leaving the room. Oh, before you get the bin opened, put on his favorite playtime music, that will only be played during playtime. I HIGHLY recommend Raffi. Get the Corner Grocery Store collection, available on Amazon and maybe your library. The familiar routine of the music and schedule will help him know playtime vs other activities with mom. His attention span may only be 5 minutes at first and when he comes back in the kitchen or wherever you are, ask him, Are you all done playing with your "blocks"? Would you like to get another bin? Ask him to clean up all the blocks and you will get him another bin. If he doesnt want to continue to play, that's ok, have HIM clean up his toys, put the bin away and immediately turn off the music. He will soon learn to keep playing if he wants to enjoy the music and playtime. Next, set him up at the dinner tabel with plain paper and a few fat crayons, again this will only last about 5-10 minutes and that's normal. I have a 2 1/2 yr old and care for three more 2-3 yr olds. They beg for playdoh or crayons and we get it all out and they play for 5-6 minutes and then want to move on. It's normal. He will play better as he ages and perhaps it's time to join a playgroup where he can play with other children and you can enjoy a cup of coffee on a girlfriends couch and swap potty training advice. If you are in my area ( Orange Park, FL) I can recommend lots of groups, if not, go to yahoo and click on groups, enter your city or subdivision area and the word playgroup and it will come up with some groups to try out. Good Luck, enroll your husband in a once a week scheduled babysitting time so you can go do whatever you want, if it's to take a nap, a bath or hit the bookstore or nail salon, you need it.

Does your son spend time away from you? Considering you're a SAHM, it might be that you are all he knows as entertainment. Not sure if he currently goes to a day care or anything, but for socialization reason it might be a good idea to put him in one a couple days a week. Then he'd know there's more to do out there than just watch mommy.

I was an only child and always wanted to play with my mom. Many times she refused to play with me (she wasn't a particularly playful person) and never bought me games that took more than one person to play.
I think it would be good for you to give in, take this time to play with your child, use teachable moments to give him your outlook on morals, life, and the universe, teach him his colors and shapes, help him develop his imagination. At times when you want to clean or something, then tell him so and have him continue on something you've started together, or sit and watch you. Maybe help! Then a morning or so, join a playgroup for him to enjoy other children.
In not so many years from now, you will be wishing he still wanted to spend time with you, and some groundwork now may make the teen years easier for both of you.
Also, if he's having any siblings, soon your together time will be over and he'll be playing with the sibling.

My son does this from time to time yet. Try to slowly transition yourself out of the room. My son likes to color so when I want him to play by himself I give him color pages and crayons. Then I slowly make my way out of the room.
It also might help to have a set time of day that the two of you spend together doing a craft or something. I have some Firdays off so I will keep my son home once in a while and have a Mamma and me day. It helps with behavior too.
Good luck it's not easy for us to be the one that must entertain, according to our toddlers.

My 15 month old son is the same way. I don't look at it as I did something wrong. I take it that he is going to be a social butterfly and a great team player. I would much rather my son want to be involved in day to day activities than want to be couped up in his room alone. So, I have decided this week to get him a dog. He loves playing with neighbor dogs and I think they will be able to wear each other out. Good luck!

hi C.,
i could be wrong, but i think it is just a stage. my son, who turned two in march, goes thru that. from about 18 mos-24 he played alone ALL the time! like so much so that i would go check on him to see what he was doing! now, in the last few months, he had gotten all clingy, and would only play if i was there with him. i'd try to sit in his room, and then would ease out, and he'd cry & come running after me. now he seems to be getting back to playing alone sometimes, depending on the day. i also try to switch his toys around b/t his play area & his room....so hopefully its just a phase for both of our boys! :)

Have you tried getting most of the toys out of the full playroom so that each toy in there is more enticing and accessible? You could then rotate them so that they stay fresh and interesting. My son won't play in his room if it's too full of stuff, and one of my daughters sometimes wants to sleep in the guest room because it's more peaceful than her room.
As for when to do this reorganizing, well, if he wants you in there with him anyway....

You might also try a timer for tracking how long he can expect you to take before you can play with him again.