Playground Politics

They were afraid of the example you were setting - their kids might want them to stop talking to each other and start playing with them too. OMG, how horrid! But, be warned, my daughter is now 6 and if there are no other kids I can get her to play with, I am still playing on the playground :)

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I think it's okay! I do it all the time! When they're little, you want to show them around, help them along, show them what everything does, and what to do. I think maybe other moms are giving you those looks because you're making them look bad. At least that's what I'd tell myself! :) When the kids get a little older, and they have the playground mastered, it might be better to give them space so they work on their independence, their confidence, and making friends with other kids. BUT I have to tell you one thing, my sister went down the slide in back of her son (2yr old) and he wasn't sliding so good, and her weight pushing him down from behind his leg got caught i=under him somehow and fractured. It was a freak thing but make sure if you go down the slide together like that the child is sitting on your lap and not on the slide in front of you.

1 mom found this helpful

Have fun with your child!!!!!

I do it all the time for 2 reasons. 1) To keep my son safe and 2) b/c I want to interact with him. He's older now so I sit back and watch sometimes and let him run free but at 18 months old you have to be bit more careful I think. I work full time so when I DO take my son to the park, its to PLAY WITH HIM, not to sit on a bench and socialize with other moms or talk on my cell phone or anything like that, so if someone doesn't like it, to bad! oh and let me point out that this weekend at the park I witnessed FOUR children, not my sons age or younger who took some serious falls and were lying crying while there moms just sat on the bench. One little girl ran and jumped on a swing and was swinging on her belly but she was WAY TO LITTLE to be doing that - she flipped right off and landed on her back. I was on one side pushing my son on the swing and a father was on the other side. The little girl lay crying for a while to the point where the father started to go over and help her (not his child!) and then finally the mother came running from her bench on the other side of the park when she realized it happened. THATS WHY I stay with my son and play with him or at least follow him around. When he's older he can run free.

Who cares what those Moms think! You are looking out for your son's safety--that is much more important than anything else! Keep on doing what you are doing and feel proud that you are a conscientious Mommy!

Yes go play - that is part of being a parent! I go on with my 7, 6, and 4 year old and they think it is great when I chase them.

Have fun!

ABSOLUTELY!!! I would think that it would be odd not to play on the equipment and help your son. Don't worry about what other people think. Have fun and enjoy your son, they don't stay little for long!

GO FOR IT AND HAVE FUN!!!!! A.

of course it is ok. if you are getting dirty looks, consider going to another playground.

I certainly hope so b/c I'm usually climbing the ladder with my little guy! At this age, he needs direct supervision on the playground. Good for you- keeping an eye on your own child and interacting with him on a level that he enjoys.

It is definitely OK and just ignore those parents. Toddlers often need help climbing and parents dutifully walk through the playground equipment with them.

Absolutely! However, was your son on the age appropriate part of the playground? If he was on the older kids' playground, that might explain the funny/dirty looks. Otherwise, I think it's great that you can get on and help your son.
J. B

I'm sure it was fine, especially considering the age of your child. The only reason I can think that you may have been getting dirty looks (other than moms' weird hangups) is if you were making it hard for other kids to play. My kids have been occasionally freaked out by adults on the play equipment (they would get a little shy around adults, not kids), but it was usually a dad playing what they consider "scary" (loudly) on the equipment or one that was interacting with them too much.

And I am one of those moms who likes her "mom time" while at the park. I take my kids there with the hopes they will interact with other kids - they get me all day. Just in response to the poster below; I realize your child is of the age where other kid time doesn't really happen yet.

Of course it's okay and that is exactly what your son would want you to do, play with him on the equipments. Ignore them, they are too busy sitting on their backends and gossip. You are a great mom for playing with your son. My husband and I do and we get on the equipments with our boys. What are these people's problem?!!! Goodness!! Good job, E.!! God bless you and your son!!

Guess what E.??
Who gives a CR*% what the other Mom's like or don't like!!
You are spending quality time with your son and teaching him to boot!
IDK, maybe b/c I am an older first time Mom, but I'll tell you, I NEVER let what another Mom says bother me.
If it works for you and your child, then that's what you do!! You were teaching your son valuable skills in his develoment and making it a fun thing to do at the same time.
Just think back to when you were little. I'll bet there are specific times in your childhood when you can remember your Mom or Dad, or another adult that took the time out to do something with you and you had a lot of fun doing it. Can you remember that loved and fun feeling deep in your heart? Well my dear E., you gave that to your son when you were on the slide and stairs with him.
Isn't that so more worth it than what some ridiculous women think.... off on the side who have nothing better to do than to watch what you are doing with your son?
BTW, if they were so intent on watching what you were doing, who was watching their kids?
Some Mom's treat "taking the kids to the park" more of a social event for themselves rather than the outing for the child.
Remember E.....It's their loss that they cannot bring themselves to relax and just have fun with their child.
YOU CAN and should keep right on doing it!
Enjoy your baby E..
You'll never see those women again, but you have your son for the rest of your life.
Just keep building that great relationship with him.
He's the one who will be by your side when you are old and gray....not the snooty Mom's!! ;)

Take care!

P.

It's 100% okay! My daughter is 4, and I still find myself climbing right behind her sometimes, like if there's a really big slide that she would like me to go down with her. If other moms are giving you dirty looks, I say give 'em right back!!!! ; )

what everyone else said!

When my nieces were little I was definitely their favorite human being because at family gatherings I am the only one who would PLAY! And I got a rep for always making noise...but the kids wee smiling so who cares!

Play with your son as much as you want!! Have fun! Go down the slide with him! The other moms are probably just feeling guilty that they are not doing it. Your son is young, he needs your help to show him how to use the equipment. Eventually he won't want your help & you will be banished to the sidelines as well. Have fun!

Hi! I am one of those who plays with their kids on the playground, having a laugh. My only advice is when you go down the slide behind your child, lift his feet... Last week I took my 2yo down the big-kid slide and while I was speeding up, his shoes were slowing him down, his leg got twisted under him and he fractured his lower leg bone. He's in a cast now for 3 weeks! Obviously people do this all the time (as did I) and the chances of that happening are small... but maybe you can learn from my accident just to be extra careful on the slide!

My daughter is turning 10 in a few days and when my husband takes her to the park, he runs around on the BIG jungle gym structure, swings, climbs & slides. Not even a thought in our head if other people don't like it.

The structures are huge and sturdy enough, so he plays along with her if she doesn't have a friend with her. I should mention that we usually go to the park during off hours so it's not crowded and there's plenty of room for him. Not sure who has more fun, him or my daughter. I expect that my daughter (and your son) will remember their parents playing with them.

Dear E.,
I think it's wonderful that you play on the equipment with your son. I always did too. It promotes interaction with him, and is good exercise for you. The only reason you get dirty looks from other moms is because they are too lazy, or out of shape, to do what you are doing. Keep that in mind.
I am about to become a grandmother, and I look forward to climbing on the equipment with my grandkids. I also can't wait to teach them skiing, tennis, swimming, golf, and any sports they show interest in.
Keep it up, W.

Yes - it is okay! I do have one caveat - make sure that you are not preventing other kids from being able to play. When there is space I am always climbing up with my daughter (almost 20 months). But if it crowded I tend to hover and encourage from close by. It is a judgement call. And a stray thought - half of their problem could be that they are feeling guilty about standing around gossiping rather than playing with their children.

You are absolutely doing the right thing. I still play with my children even though they are older. Sure it's harder to run, hid and catch them. Do I like playing in the dirt or sand? No not really, but I do anyway. It's all about the children, that's why I stayed home to take care of them, to play with them, and to teach them. I'll have plenty of time to sit and chit/chat once they are all grown up and on their way. Enjoy this time, you'll never get it back.

Let me know where the park is & I'll meet you there w/some silly string! I don't know what it is w/some people but it's almost like they are afraid to have fun in life in general, but when they can't do simple things w/their children - I don't know - I just don't get it. Don't worry about their looks or anything, because chances are their children are going to see you doing this w/your child and may want to join in. I'm known as the Crazy Lady of our neighborhood - I feel honored to have been given the name by all of the neighborhood children and yes I may act immaturely, but I'm also the house that the children usually congregate at and I'm the one that knows the most about a lot of these kids. Enjoy your son and all that his upbringing requires! Go ahead, have fun.........tell em the Crazy Lady sent you!

I get on the equip as well. Perhaps other moms don't want their kids to see you doing this in fear that their kids will want them on as well.

Absolutely you can play on the structures! An 18 month old sometimes needs help with the bigger slides and things. I am so over playground politics. If you do what you need for your child and respect others on the playground you should be able to do anything.

Fear. They are definitely afraid of you. Try introducing yourself as a way to set an example for your son. (He may be too young yet but maybe not). I taught my son to walk up to another child, introduce himself and ask to play. His first attempt was too funny: " Hi my name is Daniel and this is my best friend, Mommy. Do you want to play with us?" I had to teach him this skill as his nursery school would claim that unless I got him there first, he had trouble assimilating into the assorted play groups. Nonsense! They weren't willing to teach him these social skills. (They weren't willing to teach him a few things but that's another story.) Plus introducing yourself may get you a new friend or two as well!

Forget the other "Mom's". You are being active with your child and helping him learn how to play. Obviously THEY forgot how and use playtime to gossip and ignore their children.

Keep doing what you are doing and enjoy the fun. Ignore the other people and their looks. Raise your son to have fun and don't teach him through example to think about how his/your actions might look to others.

Nanc

I follow my 16-month-old all over the playground. I think they are too young to climb by themselves.

not only is it more than okay it is safer for your child. many accidents happen on playgound with moms nearby. Have a blast playing . they say they grow up fast so enjoy .

Let them look at you funny. It's you that has to worry about your son's safety. If they don't like it, that's their problem. If it makes you feel better playing with him the do so. Some people have nothing better to do in their lives then look down their noses at others. Your being a good momma, who cares what they think.

I wouldn't worry about it. they are probably jeolous and just don't have the guts to get out there and do it too.

Oh my, it is perfectly fine. Your child is only 18 months old! Don't worry about those other moms! I got the same kind of look and was actually told to get off the ice when my son was about 5 and just learning to skate! I was so upset - and DID NOT LISTEN TO HER!

there is nothing wrong with what you do, its their problem not yours

go for it.... just smile and say.. something.. like wow this is so much fun.. kids aren't they the greatest.. have fun.. they grow to fast.. and enjoy every minute./

As far as I'm concerned your son's safety is the main thing, so I don't see what's wrong with helping him if he's not quite up to navigating the equipment on his own. All the moms (including me) and dads do it at the playgrounds I go to. But I have learned that some of the parents on the playground are nice and others aren't just like "real life", it sounds to me like you just ran into a couple who weren't so nice. You do what you think is right!

Of course it's fine, and at his age he's too young to be alone on some equipment. As for the looks - Maybe they're just jealous of your appearance!!

I have played with my son and my nephew at the playground. I climb the slide right behind my son for safety and slide down behind him. There was another post a few weeks ago about a child that slid down the slide on Mom's lap and his leg got stuck and he broke his leg, so I haven't let my son slide on ly lap since I read that. I swing with him and play on the all the equipment. I don't really care if other mother's give me a dirty look as long as my son is having fun and we are enjoying our time together! Good Luck and enjoy playing...kids grow way too fast and you'll never get this time back!! Enjoy!!

If I were you, I'd fire those dirty looks right back at them! Good for you for playing with your son.

I agree with all of the other moms. Keep doing what you are doing. I follow right behind my son because he is visually impaired and I have to help guide him. But you wouldn't know he is visually impaired from looking at him and I am sure I get lots of stares from people who are standing on the sidelines texting on there phones.

Oh GOD YEAH, it's ok to play!

I do that all of the time, especially on "big" jungle gym's where there is room for adults to be up there climbing around, and I've never gotten a dirty look from any adult. I've seen lots of parents play w/ their kids at the park. Come to the Rutherford parks in NJ and you'll feel perfectly comfortable doing it there!

Maybe you might have misinterpretted those parents giving you the dirty looks? Where was that? A NYC park? Or somewhere in NJ?

Have fun and KEEP PLAYING!
D.

You're fine. The Moms I can't stand are actually the ones who sit on their behinds and let their two year old dangle from the monkey bars 8 feet in the air or don't bother to move when their little brat is bullying all the other kids or pushing and shoving the little ones to get to what they want to play with. You just make "those Moms" feel guilty that they're kids are running around alone while they sit with their friends and catch some "mom time".

ABSOLUTELY IT IS OKAY!!!! My son is almost 20 months old and I am always right with him on those jungle gyms. Do not pay attention to those other moms. Any mother who would give you a dirty look for taking care of your child is someone whose opinion counts for NOTHING!!!! KEEP DOING WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND HAVE FUN AND ENJOY!:)

Definitely! You have to to keep him safe. I wouldn't worry about those other moms at all.

If you are not keeping other kids off stuff, like occupying a swing, then of course! Those two moms were probably just giving you dirty looks because they felt jealous of what a great, involved mother you were being. Ignore them.

Hi E., I do not know what playground you go to but I think you should do whatever you think is necessary for your childs safety. Grandma Mary

At 18 months, you should be playing on the equipment with your son, to keep him safe and to interact with him. Ignore the other moms. If we all did what everyone else thought we should do, we would be miserable.

Are you sure they are giving you dirty looks? Maybe they are just jealous because they lost their inner child..lol

I say, play!! They were probably upset b/c they didnt want their kids getting any ideas and asking them to play on the equipment too!! I did the same things with my kids. I just felt better being there with them. If you are both having fun don't worry what the others think :)

Absolutely! As long as you're not pushing other kids off the monkey bars I think it is fine for you to be playing with your kids and keeping them safe. I used to go on the equipment with my little ones. Even the smaller equipment can be tricky for little ones. My girls are 3 now and I'll occasionally join them up there. Have fun and ignore the nasty looks. It's so sad how often parents sit and don't supervise their children and let them run wild putting themselves and other children in danger.

My son is just over 2 and I still get out there with him. If something were to happen I'd feel guilty forever. I also see the other parents looking at me, but you know what, my son's safety is #1 not what they're thinking of me. My sister calls me 'one of THOSE moms'. Keep it up!!!

Oh dear - I do the exact same thing! My kids are now 4 1/2 and almost 2 - and believe me, when they were littler, they wanted to use the BIG playground and of course, I needed to be on top of them...
You do what you feel is best for you and your child - who cares what other people think! The moms are just giving you dirty looks because they're gossiping and not really paying attention to their kid...
When you feel more confident in your child's ability to be on the playground, you'll be able to step back a little at a time and all...
You're completely fine! :)

absolutely. i usd to play with my kids on the slides and things. they are just jealous that they don't have teh guff it takes to get down and be a child with thier children and risk making a fool of themselves to spend quality time with their kids like you do. keep up the good work mom. Invite them to get down and dirty too.

JUST AND ADDED THOUGHT. WITH AN ADULT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PLAY, THESE ARE THE SAFE CHILDREN. NO PEDIFILE WILL BE ABLE TO GET IN THERE AND TAKE OFF WITH ONE OF THEM. KEEP DOING WHAT YOU ARE DOING. YOU ARE PROTECTING MORE THAN YOUR OWN CHILD.

I do the same thing when I take my grandkids to the playground. Can't tell you how many moms think they are spending quality time with their children when in reality they are talking to each other while sipping Dunkin Donuts coffee or talking to friends on the cell phone while their children play all alone. Really, hang up the phone, put down the coffee and play with your kids. They are only little for a short time.

E.

Of course it's okay to play on the equipment. Play until your heart's content! I play on the equipment with my children all the time. I am hands on and some other parents are very hands off. Usually the kids gravitate to me and my child(ren) because I will actively play games with them. Perhaps it makes the hand off parents feel guilty -- that's not my problem though. If the other moms want to sit on the sidelines, let them. Have fun playing with your child.

A little about me: WAHM of 9-year-old son and a 22-month-old daughter; married for almost 13 years.

I do! Most of the equipment is for 2-5 year olds so your little one needs supervision. I feel gigantic and a little silly so I don't do it all the time. Usuallly I stand at the gaps so he doesn't fall. As long as you are not acting really loud of preventing the other children from playing then who cares.

Sounds like your doing everything just fine. I have a 14 month old that I do the same with and I never got dirty looks. You're an active mom like I am and they probably are not, cannot, or will not.

My son is almost 27 months and I get on the equipment with him! I love playing with him at the playground! Have fun and enjoy and ignore the idiots who are too "good" to get down and dirty with their kids.
L.

Hi E.,

It sounds like you're a hands on mom & the other's that were on the sidelines aren't so involved with their kids. My kids are three now & I still go on the playground equipment with them. I see nothing wrong with it. My kids want me to play with them on the playground things with them. Other times, they're content playing with only other kids. I've gotten dirty looks from some people when I go to parks outside my neighborhood where people don't know me. I'm used to it now & I really don't care anymore because I'm having fun with my kids & they enjoy our playtime together. That's all that matters. Ignore the haters & know that you're doing great by being an active, fun part of your child's life. Sometimes, kids want a playmate, as well as a mommy. Know that you're doing great & keep having fun with your baby. =) It's not like you're going there kidless & swinging from the monkeybars! LOL

Have a great day!
~A.

E.,

Bravo for your sense of fun, safety and being there for your baby! You go girl! I follow my baby - safety is important, but MOM being there is just as much! Do the same at home! Follow your baby! Be there with him! You will only have this time once to be with him. BE with him. Smile and enjoy yourself and show everyone you are having a grand time - with your son. You might just teach someone else how to do the same with their child.

BE the parent in your child's life.

M.
(You don't need good luck).

Nope, nothing wrong. My son is almost 7, and I've been known to go down the slide sometimes :)

Some people need to get over themselves. Have fun and enjoy your child. You are probably a good looking mom and it was probably jealousy.