Playful Dog & a Baby - Help!

Hi J.,

I have two thoughts. I don't know if they will help, but here goes. We have a dog who was less than a year old when our son came home. A friend who really understands dogs visited two months later. Our dog had decided that he was above our son in pack order. He would literally steal food off my son's high chair as my son was eating!

My friend explained that dogs want to be part of the pack, and that they will perceive someone as alpha. It's key that they understand they are last in the pack. Our pack at that time was my husband, myself, our son and our dog. She suggested a couple of things to do. They have worked, and now my son is almost five -- and we still have the dog.

One of the things that communicates that to them is when members of the pack eat. So here's what my friend started us doing. We always feed the dog after we are done eating. We put some meat scraps on top of his food, then before putting it down, we make him sit. Then we put down his food and say wait. He waits and makes eye contact with us. Then we finally say, "OK" and he can eat. But the bottom line is that he goes last, and we tell him when he can eat. That changed his idea of who was in charge.

You can also look him in the eye, with your head higher than his, and breath in his face. Sounds strange, but it says to him that you are in charge.

On a different note, as it gets lighter later, there are two dog parks in Durham. Don't know where you live, but that would get some exercise for the dog while you hold your son.

Good luck!

S.

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Dogs need consistency and exercise. Without it, they tend to misbehave a bit more. I have a 90 lb lab and once the baby came felt the same way. However, I made a commitment when I bought him and now I'm trying my best to honor it. Every morning I take my 8 month old out in the stroller or baby bjorn and we do a 30 min walk or ball with our dog. I also do the same thing later on in the afternoon. I know it seems a bit much, but it's better for everyone in the long run. You can also investigate doggie daycares where your dog can play and play. You could also call a dog walker for a daily walk. I've done all of these things to give me some sanity. Bottom line, dogs take work, just like children. You'll get more exercise too and you 4 month old will enjoy the walks. You just need to include the dog's exercise into your daily schedule - it will make a HUGE difference!

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I would look into hiring a dog walker to come by a few times a week and walk your dog mid day (i actually used to do this for a living). There are several dog walking/ pet sitting businesses in town that offer reliable and services...your dog will get a nice long walk midday, so when you get home, you have one less thing to worry about - the dog gets a bit of attention and will be calmer around the baby.

just my 2 cents...i hate to hear about folks giving up a dog because he is energetic. with boundaries and supervision, I think any dog with a good temperament will learn appropriate behavior around a baby and child...

Just set boundaries for the dog (like put a baby gate up and quarantine him to a part of the house where the baby doesn't play) until your child is old enough to handle being with him.

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DON'T GET RID OF YOUR DOG!!!! when my oldest was a baby, i had the exact same problem that you are experiencing now. my daughter is now about 8 1/2, the dog will be 11 in a couple of weeks! i love that dog more with each passing day. it kills me to remember that i nearly got rid of him. i have told my husband that i am liable to have a nervous breakdown when the dog passes away. Baron is my first child--ha ha. congratulations on your baby, but my advise about the dog is to be patient. this too shall pass. the dog will get older and calm down a lot. plus, there is NOTHING like a big dog for security!

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First, and most importantly, the dog needs an outlet for that energy. He's your first child, and he is not disposable. You don't give up a family member simply because your life changes. Would you do the same if your child became more demanding and that didn't fit into your lifestyle? Our prior responsibilities and commitments do not magically disappear with the addition of a child.

Believe me, I know it's hard. I had 4 large dogs and 5 cats when my first child was born. One dog as passed away since then. Our pets are high needs due to the type of rescue I had been doing for many years. I took in special needs animals, so that's what we have here. These are pets with medical and behavioral issues that nobody else would have. Each of was given zero chance of adoption.

There are other options. Consider daycare for your dog, where he can play with other dogs and burn off some energy. Be sure to check with the facility to make sure they're not just going to crate your dog all day too. Obviously, he could be crated at home. Believe it or not, some places actually just crate the dog and call it daycare. It makes no sense. If daycare doesn't work for you, hire someone to come in during the day to take him for a midday walk/run. There are plenty of pet sitters in the area who will do this at a very reasonable rate. Be sure to check to make sure they are licensed/bonded for your own protection. DO NOT just hire some neighbor to do it. That's a very quick way for your dog to disappear, get hit by a car or to have someone sue you for injuries when they do something stupid.

I know it's hard, but you CAN make this work without breaking up your family. Everything in routine life requires a bit more thought once you add a baby, but doing what's right for everyone will truly pay off in the long run.

I'm pregnant with my second child. My son is now 19 months old. We have 3 dogs and 5 cats, all of them special needs. If I can do it, anyone can.

Edited to comment on another person's response:
NEVER use an invisible fence as a primary fencing system. If you have an existing barrier fence, adding an invisible fence as a back-up system for dogs who are prone to fence jumping is great. It should never, ever, ever be used without other fencing,though. For one, they do not keep out other animals, which may attack your dog, leaving your dog no ability to escape if attacked. Second, they do fail. I have known 3 dogs who have been hit by cars thanks to their invisible fence system. I have known many more who just disappear from such yards. It's just not worth the risk.

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Kirsten had some great suggestions. My Aussie is 3 (can you say HYPER), and hates children. Our daughter is 4 months old. After a week of having her home, he was in love. I've learned not to get upset if he licks her and wants to get near her. I praise him every time he is gentle with her and gently tell him to leave her alone and praise him when he does that as well. Dogs will just get more possessive and more upset if you get mad at them each time he does something to the baby. You want him to love the baby not resent him for getting your attention. (Not sure if you do that or not). They are like toddlers, so look for advice on how to deal with older siblings and new babies. Surprisingly some of the advice is the same! Every time the baby cries in her crib, I get my Aussie to come help me check on her. Now he runs and gets me if he hears her cry. Much better than a monitor! (He also steals any toys that squeak and hides them... but I can live with that) Maybe there is a teenage boy in your neighborhood who would like to make some extra cash by walking your dog for you. It might be cheaper than a professional.

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We have an 18 month old and a 2 year old dog who is 68 lbs. She is a doberman-weimeraner mix (sp?), a very high energy dog. We live in a 1200 sf house with a tiny fenced in back yard. When my son was around the age of your child, we would take a walk with the whole family down to the dog park. My husband and the dog would go into the park and let her run aorund with all the other dogs for say thirty minutes and she was worn out. It helped a lot. Other distractions we give her are really big chewy bones and she can spend a couple of hours just chewing on those instead of our plaster walls and base boards. Since our son has gotten older he loves to be with her. She is great around him, she will take a few of his toys and he takes a few of hers but they are learning to share. They are both learning to live together and they generally love each other. We give him the chore of feeding the dog every evening and he loves it. We also to took the dog to obedience classes one night a week and that was the best thing ever - it tired her out and made her listen to us. So I highly recomend that. Good luck - I think you can make it work if you want to, but if your heart is not in it then maybe you should let the dog go to another good home. Hope this helps a little.

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Hire a dog walker or put the dog in a daycare place where he'll get plenty of play and exercise. Your little fellow will soon get big and boisterous and be more than a match for the dog.

M.

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Do you have any teen-aged neighborhood kids that maybe you could pay to take the dog on a walk everyday after school for like 45 minutes - 1 hour? Maybe if he got some more exercise during the day it would make things easier on you when you guys get home from work.
I have a yellow lab that was only nine months old when my daughter was born (we bought her the week before I found out I was preggo!). It was hard because the puppy was mostly left out back because she just had too much energy! We felt like we were neglecting her, but just couldn't have a rambunctious puppy around a newborn! But now, my daughter is three and the dog is almost four and she's the best dog ever!! Super sweet and mellow and she's inside the house more than out!!
I hope that helped a little!! Good luck!
M.

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First, and foremost, your baby's safety is very important. And as a mother you will have that instinct whether to trust your dog or not. I know you love your dog, but do not feel badly if you also feel you need to give him/her to a different home. I have a 2 1/2 year old. And when I was pregnant, I wondered how my dog would be with a new baby. Now, my dog is very motherly with my daughter. Another thing to think about is your baby will not be a baby for long. I still can't believe my baby is now almost 3. My point is, it's a short amount of time to involve your dog in your baby's life (with you right there). And when you're not around, don't feel guilty if you have to crate the dog. Anyway, both of these choices are humane and loving. And if you decide to give the away, just make darn sure that it goes to a very loving family. Good luck.

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I completely disagree with the one that said unless you can trian like the dog whisperer youll have to get rid of the dog. Theres no need. Your dog has the same problem any older child would have when a new baby is brought in the house. Do you have a laundry room or maybe a basement that you could use to put the dog in during the say with some squeaky dog toys? Also whenever your just sitting and playing with the baby invite the dog over. Let him lay near you and join in. I have a full blooded border collie and my 5 month old daughter squeals everytime she sees her. We let our daughter feel the dog, which makes her happy and the dog gets extra attention. Plus it helps them bond and this way as they get older youll have no better gaurdian then your dog. Remember for 2 years that was your only child. Itll take time for the dog to adjust. Not a bad dog he just needs your guidance in how to handle the changes. Hang int here itll work out. Love and affection is all he needs.

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It's good to see that you care about your pet! So many people do not! I have 3 dogs and an 8 month old. I stay at home so I don't really have an issue with exercise/attention for my dogs. Except lately with this iffy weather...I don't want to take the baby out in it so they haven't had a walk in two weeks! Poor dogs :(
The other ladies gave some really great suggestions although I would strongly advise against the invisible fencing. This leaves the door wide open for whoever to come through and snatch your dog which happens ALL THE TIME in Clarksville. Not a good situation...Also if the dog sees something he really wants to go after the invisible fence will not stop him. It won't stop other dogs/kids from coming on your property and messing with your dog either.
The dog walker or doggy daycare is a great idea! Maybe you could arrange for him to be walked towards the end of the day so that he is less hyper by the time you get home with the baby...
Growing up with a dog in the home is so great for children, even little babies just as long as you set boundaries for both child and dog. I am glad you are working so hard to figure out a way to keep him!

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Hey there,

Sorry in advance for the numbering--just trying to put thoughts into order :)

1)Call a dog walker/trainer to give your dog the attention it needs at least a few times per week. Gail Keener, owner of Customized Pet Sitting can help: ###-###-####
My dogs are let out by her and walked three days a week while we are at work.

2)Call a playcare place to drop the dog off during the day for socialization and exercise. I recommend Club K-9
http://www.clubk-9charlotte.com/contact.htm
My dogs go there on Wed and Fri each week, play with a pack of 30 or so dogs all day, and come back exhaused and happy. You cannot trade this for anything.

3)Never let your toddler and dog together unsupervised.

4)It's not too early to say 'no!' especially when it comes to your child's safety. Mosy children are bitten, if they are, by a dog they know. In many of these situations, the dog was simply pushed beyond its limits. Growling of any kind is a warning that should be heeded.

5)Do everything you can to keep your dog who was in the family first. Teach your child to respect the dog, and teach your dog to respect the child.

6)Move your dog out of the crate and put up a tall babygate on your bedroom, giving him more room to move.

7)Get an electric or wooden fence installed so that the dog can have his time outside. www.invisiblefence.com

8)Create some daily time slot for your dog--15 minutes of cuddling, training, sitting outside, etc does wonders.

Finally, from the professionals:

Things to Consider Before You Get a Dog

Spay/neuter virtually all dogs (this frequently reduces aggressive tendencies).
Never leave infants or young children alone with any dog.
Do not play aggressive games with your dog (e.g., wrestling).
Properly socialize and train any dog entering the household. Teach the dog submissive behaviors (e.g., rolling over to expose abdomen and relinquishing food without growling).
Immediately seek professional advice (e.g., from veterinarians, animal behaviorists, or responsible breeders) if the dog develops aggressive or undesirable behaviors.

Teach children basic safety around dogs and review regularly:

Do not approach an unfamiliar dog.
Do not run from a dog and scream.
Remain motionless (e.g., "be still like a tree") when approached by an unfamiliar dog.
If knocked over by a dog, roll into a ball and lie still (e.g., "be still like a log").
Do not play with a dog unless supervised by an adult.
Immediately report stray dogs or dogs displaying unusual behavior to an adult.
Avoid direct eye contact with a dog.
Do not disturb a dog who is sleeping, eating, or caring for puppies.
Do not pet a dog without allowing it to see and sniff you first.
If bitten, immediately report the bite to an adult.

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I hate to say it, but it sounds like you don't have the time to take care of this dog. He is acting out not just because of the attention your new baby is getting, but because you work all day and he is lacking exercise. I know how much pets mean to families, fitting right in and stealing our hearts, and that giving him away would be heart wrenching. However, it sounds like it would be in his best interest to go somewhere that he has attention and space, as you said.
If you decide to keep him, please make it a priority to give him at least an hour of walking every day. This will help him get out the excess energy and be calmer when he is inside.
Hope this helps,
K.

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I had three 10 year old animals when my baby was born, and I am sure the first 6 months was hard on them, but everyone adjusted. Just remember in a few short months when the weather is nice, you and the baby are going to want to take walks outside and play. By this time next year the dog will have settled down, and your child will love having a playmate. Give it a little more time before giving your animal up. Maybe more time in the yard and less time in the crate would help he situation now. Animals don't mind cool weather they wear fur coats. Good luck with whatever you decide.

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I understand what you are going thru and its as if you have two babies instead of one. But please above everything protect your baby. I just read a story about 3 weeks ago in our local paper, where the families pet of 3 yrs had bit their 4 month old babies head severely while it was sleeping in its room and the mother was in the kitchen. According to the story it was not a vicious breed, had no reason to have done that, but the mother said it had recently been acting possessive as you say yours has. The baby lived but it will have to have extensive surgeries on its head and face. So as much as you might love your dog also, please separate them somehow or find your dog another loving home. Just don't take that chance! It could happen so quickly especially with one that weighs 65 lbs. I know our animals become a part of our family just as our kids do, but we have to be realistic also and realize our kids come first! Good luck with what ever you decide.

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I have been right where you are! When I had my first I too had a dog and I think it was overload for us. I worked also and by the time I got home, I wanted to spend time w/the baby and not so much the dog I had loved so much at one time. I actually ended up getting rid of her and it was the best thing for me. Obviously this is a decision you and your husband will have to make, but at the time it was the best thing we did. I currently have THREE GIRLS now and we got a puppy almost a year ago, but we got a very small one and it has worked out great.
Good luck to you

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Hi J.,
You may want to consider putting your dog in a doggy daycare. That's a great way for him to get exercise and lots of attention during work hourse. Dogs Rule Daycare is a great place. I've used them before. There is also a doggy daycare downtown near St. Jude, but I can't think of the name. I'm pretty sure Dogs Rule will actually pick-up your dog from your home and bring him back. I know they have package deals, etc...There are also dog sitters who you may be able to hire to come by a few times a week and give him a good walk during the day. Just a few suggestion...hope these are helpful!

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J.,
I understand your dilemma. However, take the advice from the other women that have responded, it's VERY GOOD advice (except the one about the Dog Whisperer, please). I mean who really does that besides Ceasar Milan?
At any rate, like I said it is all good advice. I would suggest walking your dog as a family, that way you get to spend time with your family and your dog gets to spend time with his, your baby gets fresh air, and everyone is happy. If laundry gets in the way, start a load before you go, it will be done when you get back. If you have to work late, have your husband take your dog or a teenager that you know. Of course someone responsible.
Like I said there is a tremendous amount of good advice, I would try anything and everything before I gave him away. Try to incorprate him into your new life. You good even try talking to your vet, see what he/she has to say.
Good Luck!

1 mom found this helpful

A couple things. Walking. and... More walking.

My baby was always up early. I walked the dog and took her along, often in a back carrier. When it was too cold, I just left her home with my husband, and walked the dog.

On days I'd be home late (regularly scheduled), I had a young adult neighbor take my dog for a walk.

The first thing I did after I came home was walk him again, even if it was a short walk.

Late at night, I took him on a longer walk. I loved my alone time. I loved walking.

The dog and my baby grew to be best friends. The kids incorporated the dog into their play, dressed him up as a reindeer around Christmastime, "harnessed" him, and had him pull them around in sleds. My daughter grew to absolutely adore the walks with the dog, looking for signs of spring, watching the seasons change, learning about birds and plants....

Taking care of the dog was not a drain on family time. It was a part of both family time, and a part of "me" time.

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Dogs and babies can get on fine if you are willing to put the time in to work with them. You basically have to treat this as if you have two children. You have to establish firm and non-negotiable rules. Set up commands mow. (ex. "Not in the face" for licking. Or "Leave it" for something he is not supposed to have.) You need to work on furthering your dog's training and you should take him out for the exercise. It's hard to find time, but generally it just means sacrificing something.... like sleep. >.<

This is basically the only option that I see you having other than parting with him. If you can't spare the time to give both the baby AND the dog what they need, then you have to look for a new home for the dog. Pet's are a big responsibility and they take a lot of work. You just have to choose if he is worth it or not. He's a good dog, it sounds like, just dealing with jealousy and territorial issues. He just needs a bit of work and to not feel like he is being completely shunned by the baby. In the doggy world... he sees the baby as replacing him.

Also, when the baby is big enough, establish r ight away a hierarchy. Animals, especially dogs, respond by knowing their rank in a system. Never let the dog go in first. When you let him in or out, he is ALWAYS the last to come in. This lets him know his place. He still f eels like a loved member of the family unit, but he knows where his rank is. You need to completely establish dominance. Maybe look into a dog training school or pick up some informational books / videos on the subject. Again, this is only if you think he is worth finding time for.

Also, I don't even have a dog anymore and I take my young children on walks every day. When it's cold, I just bundle them up. I have done this since my first son, now two, was a wee little infant. It wont hurt your little boy to get some fresh air.

Good luck!

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