Playdate Ideas Needed!

If you have a street where they can play/ride scooters out front, I would ask the other mom to bring his gear so they could do that together. That's what we end up doing when kids come over. Also, sidewalk chalk is a big hit. Definitely get the mom's cell # just in case! The one rule I have that I always make clear when kids come over is: "Anything that gets taken out, must get put back away before you leave" My kids both know this rule and they know that if friends leave without cleaning up, THEY have to do it themselves. So they will even ask the friend to help clean up without me saying it (sometimes). At 5 I don't think you need to plan set activities, they will have fun no matter what they find to do. Good Luck! :-)

L.,

First of all, I always hated the term "play date." It sounds so Yuppie and snobby. For the past couple of years, my son and his friends have been calling each other after school to play. When he was younger, I'd make arrangements with the other moms. But here in Europe, kids aren't in so many structured activities after school. This makes it easier to play with a friend after the homework is done. Childhood here is very much like my own.

I never had any specific ground rules or activities except for making sure that the boys were safe and weren't killing each other. Where I used to live, there was a playground that was near my house. I'd take the kids to the playground to let them run around. But I let them do whatever they wanted on the playground (everything there was safe). They decided when they wanted to go back inside, unless it got close to pickup time. Now when my son's friends come over, they play in the yard, come back in, go back out, etc. They decide how long they will play outside.

In the house the kids easily figured out for themselves what they wanted to do, even at a very early age. That worked the best. Kids learn conflict resolution or sharing best when they are allowed to play on their own. For example, if Jimmy wants to play with Legos and Johnny wants to play with toy trucks, the boys decide for themselves that they'd play with one thing first and then the other. Playing on their own also stimulates imagination, which is very important. When my son was younger, there was a lot of play with Hot Wheels, toy dinosaurs, wooden train sets, action figures, and Legos/Duplos. The only time I stepped in was when there was an obvious conflict that the kids couldn't resolve on their own or the kids wanted to do something they shouldn't (e.g. play ball in the house). Now that my son is older, he and his friends play Yu-Gi-Oh (or Pokemon), or build elaborate structures with Legos. I think they would laugh if I had a whole afternoon of structured activities set up for them. Kids need time to be kids and have free play without adults deciding every little thing for them. Your second-to-last sentence pretty much said it all. As you can tell, I'm a big free play advocate. My son has a very good and active imagination.

When it comes to food, I ask the parents if the child has any food allergies or is a vegetarian. I serve a variety of healthy foods for lunch, which the guest could pick and choose from. If a child comes over to play between meals, I give them a snack.

Most parents will leave a phone number where they can be reached if their child suddenly got sick. All of the parents that I've dealt with are very good about picking up their child on time. Now that my son is older (9), he and his friends often go to friends' houses on their own and know to leave at a certain time. I'll ask the guest what time he needs to be home and then give a reminder about 10 minutes beforehand so that there is time to clean up all the toys.

Earlier in the day before the children play together, ask your child to put away toys that are special. Set out all the toys that they can play together. When the other child comes over, just supervise them and prepare snacks, but let them play and have fun. Let both of them know the rules, etc. and consequences for not following the rules. Ask the parents what foods their child enjoys and what allergies there are. Best of luck.

Sometimes, play dates don't always "have to" be planned and structured and organized. Kids this age are more self-directed.. .and they always find stuff to play or play with.

I have a lot of play-dates with my daughter's friends, sometimes I totally plan things out, and other times I don't...depending on my energy level, and how well I know the Mom. Either way, the kids always have fun. They ALWAYS find things to do and play with, whether or not I have things planned out. And, I just supervise them for safety or conflicts.

I also just make sure to have snacks and food for them.

I also make SURE I make a specific "time" for the play-date, and specifically say when it "ends" and when the Mom can pick up her kids....so you are not left to just entertain ALL afternoon or morning. I tell the Mom to be SURE to call me, if she is running late. Afterall, it's only common courtesy.

Or, if you are concerned about costs and your own family's food... just tell the Mom to bring her child's own lunch or snacks.

You can also tell the Mom to bring an extra pair of clothing for her child, in case they get dirty or wet.

Make sure the Mom also gives you her phone/cell number in case of anything....or if she is late in picking up the child.

Kids also like to cook...boys or girls. So we make cookies, or their "lunch" together. Cookie cutters are fun to cut out any kind of cookies, bread for sandwiches, bologna, or to mold rice with.

Or make pizza. Just buy ready made bread dough from the grocery store, (it's usually in the frozen or refrigerated section), buy cheeses, pre-made jarred spaghetti sauce, toppings etc. Then let them "help" and roll out the dough and make it into a circle. Then let them "help" you put on the toppings. Then put it onto a cookie sheet, and bake until done.

It's also fun to make soap. You just go to your craft store, and buy glycerin soap. Then break off chunks, put in a pyrex dish, and microwave for a FEW seconds at a time, like 5 seconds at a time, to melt it (you don't want it to bubble)... then, pour the melted soap into a "mold" (anything plastic like a small baby food container, oil the sides lightly so it can slip out later), and add food coloring, mix it lightly to combined the colors, then let it harden. Then, the child can take it home and use it. After the soap hardens in the "mold", just push it out, and voila! You have fun soap! The kids really love this when I do it.

Or, have a bug catching expedition in your yard. Give them glass jars with a top, poke holes in the top, they can decorate it, then go outside and catch bugs.

Or let them play in sprinklers in the yard.

Or, get fabric paint, some blank white t-shirts, and let them paint designs on it. You can get it all at your local craft store.

Or a game of kids charades. You can make it yourself on index cards. Then just have them act it out.

Or do crafts... paper plates can make anything. Or paint. Or paint rocks.

The game "Twister" is also fun for kids. My daughter and her friends really like it.

Or, get a fun video for them to watch, and make popcorn and fun snacks.

Good luck!
Susan

Have fun! I love my 12 year old boy, but I would give anything for the loving cuddly early years again.
I just wanted to suggest to have a healty little snack ready, like fruit or trail mix, yogurt, etc. If things get "heavy" or start to heat up, maybe you could all take a walk around the block and look for animals, or flowers.
I tried not to hover over my boy and his friends, but to keep an ear out constantly.
Good luck and have fun,
B.

Hi L.,
My son is 6 and we do have to put away some favorite toys. I found that playdates at our house work best when he is not too tired and when he has had time to himself first. Other than that, just let them play and have fun. We sometimes have problems with one kid wanting to play with something and the other kid wanting to play with something else. We had them make a compromise to play for 10 minutes with each thing and that helped.

Good luck!

L.

You didn't mention this being an issue during the first playdate so it may not be an issue this second time either but, it there are any toys that your son is especially fond of and may not want to share, you may have him put them in a place where his friend won't see them so there won't be any tug of war for the toy later on.

As far as activities for them to do during their second playdate, I really don't have any novel ideas for you (sorry!). I've just always been of the mind that little boys are pretty good at finding games to play without a lot of adult intervention. I probably would suggest that if you have a lot of concrete in your backyard, you may want to get out as many of your scooters, bikes and kid-friendly sports equipment as possible and just set them loose in your backyard. My kids also love bouncing on the cheapy hippity-hop bouncing balls that I bought at Walgreens (3 for $11) last Christmas. Boys are constantly in motion so anything that you can do to give them that chance to let all their energy out will make for a fun experience for the two of them.

Sounds like you are doing all of the right things. I like to keep playdates to 2 or 3 hours but not longer. (Keep 'em wanting more) and always have some snacks at the ready when they are hungry. I let the visiting children know the house rules "In our house, we eat our snacks at the table, not in the playroom" and "It is fine to play outside, but you must stay in the back yard" and other things like that. He is at a good age where you don't need to orchestrate the activities, but just loosely supervise. If he is dropped off at a friend's house, make sure you brief him on where the bathroom is, always listening to the grownup in charge and using his manners. Enjoy this time watching him interact with friends. If you see anything that needs to be worked on, look for opportunities to reinforce healthy behavior. My daughter tends to be bossy, so I talk to her about how Emily Elizabeth and Clifford feel when Jetta and Mac boss them around. Have a great time!

The most important thing is letting him know what you expect ahead of time and that sharing is key. I would not put out toys that are his favorites. Maybe something that has been put away for a while and he has not seen in some time.

Don't worry too much - it is supposed to be fun for you too!