13 answers

Planning for #2 - Going High Risk

My two year old daughter (first pregnancy) was born 12 weeks early because I had severe HELLP syndrome and the only way to "cure" it was to deliver. She measured at the size of a 24 weeker because my placenta was "hyper-mature." Now we are thinking about having number 2. (I personally believe that siblings are a great gift to each other.) We had a consult with a peri-natel doctor who said I would be considered high-risk without a doubt and that I would be watched very closely - appointments every two weeks, ultrasounds once a month, possible bed rest if things get dicey. And there's a possibility that nothing would happen. But I'm terrifed. I don't know if I'm completely over delivering early in the first place. I'm afraid I would end up resenting the new baby because it was such an ordeal. Am I crazy? How did you get through your high-risk pregnancy?

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

I wonder if there are some kind of support groups for high risk Moms?
If not, maybe try those community social groups online & do a Google search?

All the best,
Susan

More Answers

My bestfriend's first baby was delivered at 26 weeks because of HELLPs and he did not survive. HELLPs is serious; definitely research all the possibilities. When my friend got pregnant again, it was a much more doctor-intensive pregnancy with doctors appointments and blood/heart monitors (at her home), and medication to control her blood pressure. The first pregnancy had her hospitalized for 5 weeks (she came from from dinner one night and began having chest pains/heart attack). For her second pregnancy, she was hospitalized again in the antepartum wing of the hospital for 3 weeks before delivery (basically once her tests hit a certain level, she was hospitalized), given the injections to mature the lungs and delivered at 34 weeks. (Apparently, for some reason girls have a better chance of survival than boys.)

It was a tough choice for her to get pregnant again. Everyone envisions the wonderful outcome (mother is fine, baby is fine), but there were other outcomes that she and her husband had to visualize (and plan for) before getting pregnant the second time: 1) mother survives, baby survives but child has life-long complications from the early birth; 2) mother survives (with or without related health issues), baby does not; 3) mother does not survive, baby survives (with or without complications); 4) both mother and child do not survive.

I've asked her if she would have another baby and was told, at this point she is not inclined to risk orphaning her daughter. (Sorry, I know that sounds blunt, but that was her thoughts...) I think this is important to mention: In regard to the outcome of her 2nd pregnancy, both her and her daughter are fine; no apparent complications for either.

If you do decide to get pregnant again, you should plan for the possibility that you could be hospitalized for several weeks before delivery. This means you may need to 1) get family members ready to help with the care of your daughter and 2) review your health insurance policy to make sure your 'life time coverage limit' has enough credit remaining to cover the potential cost of an other high risk pregnancy, antepartum hospitalization and NEO-natal care, if necessary. (You definitely don't want any unexpected hospital bills on top of everything else!)

Sorry this response is so doom and gloom. (I was so scared for her...) Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful

I too had HELLP with my first pregnancy, but unfortunatley had to deiver my son too soon and he did not make it {8 years on the 24th of this month}, but I can tell you that I now have two beautiful children and I was high risk with both of them with Ultra Sounds every 2 weeks and monitored very closely with my doctors. I say if you and your husband are serious, go for it. I loved being high risk becuase I felt like I received such great care during my pregnancies...which were both very successful and I did not get HELLP on either of them.
Good luck!!

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/pppg/
this yahoo group saved my life during my 8 weeks of hospital bedrest with my second pregancy. My first child was born at 24 weeks, weighing 1 lb 11 oz. I saw a high risk doctor who specialized in perinatal care and it was very helpful. I started dilating at 28 weeks and went into labor at 29 weeks - stayed in the hospital for 8 weeks and the baby was born at 27 weeks.

the Post Preemie Pregnancy Group (pppg) was wonderful - moms from around the world who were pregnant after having a preemie. Lots of helpful BTDT as well as support and nurturing any hour of the day or night, since we were all in different time zones around the world. It made my life so much easier to bear knowing I wasn't alone.

There is some evidence that HELLP syndrome can be ameliorated or averted by sufficient dietary levels of protein, b-vitamins, and magnesium. Surprisingly, not all pre-natal vitamins have sufficient levels of these. Check the FDA recommendations, and the amounts in your vitamins, and use additional supplements as necessary. There is also evidence that starting vitamins at least three months before you get pregnant can be helpful.
Also, HELLP syndrome is also far less common in second or later pregnancies; you may want to talk to another doctor, or find someone who is willing to take each pregnancy on a case-by-case basis.
Best of luck!

I really recommend using doulas to help you through this. A birth doula will be there through your pregnancy for support and help at your birth. A antepartum doula will help with household stuff while on bedrest.

W. Nichols-Dewey, CD(DONA)
www.birthfirstdoula.com

I had a set of triplets, and of course that pregnancy was high risk. I had appointments every two weeks, then weekly, ultra sounds at nearly every appointment. I was on bed rest from beginning to end. I had complications, strange side effects, weird symptoms. I gained an embarrassing amount, and I spent 5 weeks in the hospital. I then spent the following 16 weeks making daily trips (30 miles each way) to visit the babies.

It was my hardest pregnancy in some (obvious) ways, but because of the extra care and attention I received from my doctors, it was my easiest pregnancy in other ways.

I don't resent anything except the stretch marks and saggy skin! I love those boys! I would do it again in a minute (if only I were younger and dumber!) lol

good luck!

www.thosecrazybeans.blogspot.com

I had 4 high risk pregnancies, and 2 low risk. My high risk pregnancies were with boys and my low risk were with girls. I had a hormonal imbalance that made it impossible to carry a boy to term. I had an abrupted placentae with each one. I have 2 living sons and 2 that passed away. The coice to have another pregnancy was very difficult. I made it a matter of prayer. I love my children, and always wanted them, but I could have left my husband raising the children on his own, if things had not worked out so well. I chose to stop having children so my husband wouldn't be left wifeless, and my children would have a mother. My last 2 sons were born at 32 weeks and 25 weeks. They are now 21 and 16

I wonder if there are some kind of support groups for high risk Moms?
If not, maybe try those community social groups online & do a Google search?

All the best,
Susan

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