PINK EYE Birthday Party??

Updated on April 21, 2008
K.D. asks from San Francisco, CA
56 answers

My 9 MO daughter and I were suppossed to go to her cousin's birthday party tomorrow. Then I was told that he has pink eye. My sister said "I totally understand if you don't want to come." But it turns out we were the only ones who opted not to attend. No one has said anything negative to me for not going but I can't help but feel guilty. Am I being a paranoid germaphobe?

UPDATE: The child with pink eye has been on anitbiotics for less than 24 hours.

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So What Happened?

Thanks to everyone who gave advice and support! I found out there were a couple of others who also chose not to attend. And I no longer feel guilty about not going to the party and subjecting my baby to pink eye! Thanks again Mamas!

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J.H.

answers from Sacramento on

I agree with Amy, the parent should have cancelled the party, because pink eye is very contagious. Children are regularly and rapidly sent home from school if it is learned they have pink eye.

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J.P.

answers from San Francisco on

Pink eye is very contagious. She really should have just rescheduled the party for a time when he wasn't sick. You should not feel guilty for not going you were being a responsible parent.

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S.P.

answers from San Francisco on

No, you are definately not being a germaphobe, you are being a good considerate mom! They should be thanking you!!!! Pink eye is highly contagious, and my school age kids are sent home and required to stay home until it has cleared up.

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J.C.

answers from San Francisco on

If they know it is Pink Eye, then he is probably on antibiotics and if that is the case then he is no longer contagious after 24 hours. You should go.

1 mom found this helpful

V.R.

answers from Sacramento on

You are absolutely NOT being paranoid about pink eye! Yes, we can't protect our children from absolutely every inflammation & irriation out in the world, but when it's a KNOWN case, I personally stay away from it, & most definitely would keep my child far from it as well. I never had pink eye as a child but I've had it 4 times now as an adult, all from being around children who had it. It's a pain to deal with as an adult, I can't imagine the irritation & frustration it would be for a child who isn't speaking yet!

I agree with a previous poster, the family member should have rescheduled the party - period. Hopefully nobody else caught it. When stuff like that comes up with my son, my motto is "when in doubt - DON'T." Rest easy & be thankful you have a happy healthy 9-mth old that you can get close to since she doesn't have pink eye. :)

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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

Pink eye is highly contagious. Though its mostly more annoying than anything, no one wants to get it. You don't want your daughter to get it. My doctor told me that its the same germs that cause EAR INFECTIONS as well. Usually in infants, if they have pink eye, ear infections are coming soon if they don't have them already. If your daughter hasn't had an ear infection yet, you don't want to start that. It makes them more prone to getting them, which means lots of antibiotics.

Obviously you could just stay away from the kid and wash your hands a lot. And I think that if they have had the eye drops for a couple of days, they are not contagious anymore...

Hope that helped a little.. C.

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L.O.

answers from Sacramento on

I would have made the same choice that you are making... Pink eye is VERY VERY contagious. How long has he had it? I am a daycare provider and children with pink eye can return with a doctors note and doctors say you can return to care 24hrs after you've started the antibiotic (eye drops)providing the eye has stopped oozing. I wouldn't worry about what others think, and like you said... no one has said anything negative. There will be more birthday parties. =)

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E.S.

answers from San Francisco on

You were right. Pink eye is gross and unpleasant. Your eyes swell shut and get covered in mucus. You have to wash all your pillowcases and sheets to get rid of it. Plus, it's highly contagious so everyone at that party probably has it now too.

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J.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi K.,

I wouldn't go.... but I am VERY safe and protective of my kids when it comes to germs. That works for me. My point is... you have to find what works for you as a parent. btw... I appreciate that your sister told you about your nephew's pink eye and gave you the option to back out. Very sensitive and thoughtful of her.

J.

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K.W.

answers from Sacramento on

Hi K., Pink eye is no fun and so highly contagious. I would error on the side of caution as you did. I too am a germaphobe mom of two kids (ages 2 and 4) and I would probably do the same as you (especially since my kids had a recurrance of pink eye recently about a month after the first time). What I've come to realize with other moms and parents is that everyone has their own comfort zone. Whether you feel guilty or not for NOT attending your nephew's birthday is up to you. It was nice that you had an understanding sister and gave you an out. Try to put yourself in your sister's shoes, and I'm sure you did, and decide what you would do if it was YOUR daughter with the pink eye. Hey, if you're still feeling guilty, you can always make it up to your nephew (when he's no longer contagious) and bring him a fun little gift and homemade cupcakes! You'll be just fine...and have a pink-eye-free baby! :) - Kim

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D.H.

answers from San Francisco on

You are so right not to attend, and I hope that as your child grows that your inner common sense and intuition will continue to tell you when you are right to protect your child from infection. Everyone at the party would want to touch the baby, and even though the baby is not handling food or objects, the human hand can be nasty with germs. Brava to you, and remember, there is always another party, and children soon forget that they missed one. They do remember being ill or in pain. Not everyone is as thoughtful about protecting others from their pathogens, which is why illness spreads, moms and dads miss work, and lose money as a result. For the want of a nail,... the war was lost. You stayed home,...and kept your child and you from infection.

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A.B.

answers from San Francisco on

There is a lot of paranoia around pink eye because it has such a bad reputation for being contagious. The truth is there is more to the pink eye than an infection. Infection is actually the least common reason why kids have pink eye and if the parents truly suspected that they would have cancelled the party. The most common causes are allergies and viral infections. With allergies there is no chance of you "catching it" so you could have taken your child without any fears. With a viral infection the only thing you have to make sure of is proper handwashing when coming in contact with the child. Kids are notorious for not washing their hands so it becomes very easy for them to spread a viral infection including pink eye. You could have gone and just made sure that you washed your childs hands if the other child played with him and not have to worry about getting infected.

I would apologize to the family and say that you are not knowledgeable about pink eye and you let your prejudice get the best of you. I would offer to take the child somewhere to make up for your absence and see where that goes.

Hope this helps.

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T.H.

answers from Chico on

if sadie were 9 years old, it would be different. at 9 months old, sadie won't be missing out for missing the party, and it's best to stay safe. no sensible person will have bad energy toward you for not coming. it was very responsible of them to tell you, and they told you to allow you to make an informed choice.

plus, always remember, you are the mom. you make your decisions and feel fine about them. everybody has advice, you get to decide.

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K.L.

answers from San Francisco on

You are not being a paranoid germaphobe. Pink eye is highly contagious and I'm suprised that the party wasn't rescheduled. As a mom, you need to do what's best for your child. Afterall, when she's ill, you will be the one that has to take care of her, not all the people who went to the party. And it's never fair to the baby to put her in a position to get some illness. Having to put antibiotic eye drops or wash out the eyes of a 9 month old would be very challenging and this is what you would have to do if your baby got it.

A sick baby can be very challenging. I had to keep my son away from certain parties when he was a baby because he kept getting colds from other young children that ended up becoming bronchiolitis and/or pneumonia and we had to go to emergency care. No one else at those parties were around to help me take my baby to emergency care. And they won't around to help care for him during those long days and nights of being ill. So in the end, it was worth it to him and me to not attend a party if I knew others were ill. And family members, of all people, should understand and support your decision on how best to care for your baby.

Enjoy every moment with your baby...they really do grow up fast!

Best wishes...

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B.S.

answers from Sacramento on

Well, according to our doctor (and daycare policy), once you have been on the antibiotic for 24 hours you are no longer contagious. So if the child was on medication, you were probably not at risk. But I don't think anyone would fault you for trying to protect your child from illness.

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S.L.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi K.
you aren't being paramoind, in fact perhaps your sister should have cancelled the bday herself (unless the doc said the pink isn't contagious at this point) however, having had several bouts of pink eye as a kid and adult, I truly think it's VERY contagious and easily spread.. I don't think you shoudl have guilt for not attending the party, you did it in the best interest of all.... there will be many more parties to attend...

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J.W.

answers from Yuba City on

K.,

You are not paranoid at all. It was BAD PARENTING for those other parents to go and for the party to not be cancelled! Good for you for putting your child first!

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D.K.

answers from Sacramento on

K.,

You are not paranoid - You are smart!!!!

I have had pink eye many times and the one thing the doctors always tell me is that it is extremely contagious!! You were very smart to opt out - can you imagine what it would be like to have a 9 m/o with pink eye?! I am surprised she even gave people the option to come - the responsible thing to do would have been to cancel or reschedule the party.

D.

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J.S.

answers from Stockton on

Pink eye is EXTREMELY congatgeous. I'd say you were just looking out for your daughter. It would NOT be fun to put eye drops in her eyes for several days and have her screaming and hurting for 5-7 days. So You also saved yourself and her a lot of grief. You made a wise decision.

R.M.

answers from Sacramento on

not only is it Ok that you're not going, it's the better option. I think pink eye is contagious so you're actually making a responsible decision to not infect the other kids who will be at the party.

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P.Q.

answers from San Francisco on

No, you are not paranoid. You made the right decision. Your cousin should have cancelled the entire party. Pink eye is contagious. Once a child is in school he/she will be sent home until it is treated.
As you say you are learning with your first child. But this time your instincts served you right. So continue to follow your own natural common sense. It will never steer you wrong! You're a good mom!

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L.C.

answers from San Francisco on

Hello,
No your not peranoid, pink eye is very contagious. My daughter had it a few weeks ago and she was not allowed to attend school because of this. Don't feel guilty, feel glad that you protected your child from this very uncomfortable eye infections. I'm sure your cousins understood! Have a great day!!

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T.L.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi K., PLEASE don't feel bad about not going to your nephew's party. As you know, pink eye is HIGHLY contagious. You did the right thing by not going. I have 2 little boys (3 1/2 & 1 1/2) and they both have had pink eye. It was terrible!!!! So I would have done the same thing you did - avoid pink eye at all cost! And I'm sure your sister and everyone else understands.

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A.L.

answers from San Francisco on

I'm assuming the child went to the doctor. Pink eye is contagious. Longest your relative is giving the child the eye drops to clear the infection. You don't see any redness anymore. It should be okay to attend the party. It's really your call. You should not feel bad for not attending. It's totally understandable.

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G.N.

answers from San Francisco on

I think you did the right thing by staying away from pink eye. It's very contagious, uncomfortable and can be difficult to get rid of once it starts running through a family.
It always amazes me that people will continue on with their social life while kids are sick, it happens all the time. I've always chosen to cancel in favor of my family's health and I'm sure it's been the right choice!
If you do get pink eye the best cure (if you're nursing) is breast milk in the eye. Other remedies are compresses of chamomile and eye bright, you can buy tea bags and use those.

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T.S.

answers from Sacramento on

no you shouldn't feel guilty. you are being a good mother and protecting you'r child. i would not expose my child to a painfull illness just to attend a party. that would be dumb, then you would have felt guilty because you'r baby was miserable and sick and it was because of a decision you made.

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B.V.

answers from Fresno on

I would have stayed home too. Pink eye is ver contagious.

B.

PS. She should have rescheduled the party!

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J.D.

answers from San Francisco on

I guess I feel a little differently from the majority, but I don't think you should feel guilty about it--it seems that everyone understood how you feel and I do too. Just being a long-time mother of 4 kids I've seen people get a little too anxious about things. My children have been around kids with pink eye and have never had it. The thing is, your baby is 9 months old and you could easily protect her since she's probably still not walking and grabbing food off the table the way a toddler or preschooler would. I would have gone just because I like a good party and paid a little extra attention to what my child does.

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D.L.

answers from Sacramento on

You should not feel badly about opting to keep your child healthy. Pink eye is one of the most contagious infections and would make an infant miserable. Think of how much worse you would feel if you had gone to the party and your daughter got pink eye. It's just not worth it.

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L.D.

answers from Sacramento on

I don't think you should feel guilty one bit! Pink Eye is highly contagious, I'm sure all the other parents are thankful you showed so much restraint in missing out on the parting and saving all of them from having to deal with a bought of pink eye themselves!! I say you totally made the right call!

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J.M.

answers from Fresno on

I wouldn't have gone either. Pink eye is very contagious and it hurts. The child needs to be treated with antibiotic cream for 24 or 48 hours before they can return to school, So your sister should have told you how long the child has recived treatment and you can make up your mind based on that.
You have to make a lot of choices in life based on what is best for you and your family, not based on what everyone else does. Be proud of your self for doing what you feel is right. Send the birthday gift and forgot about it.
J.

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K.B.

answers from Modesto on

Stop feeling guilty. Your child's health comes first. Pink eye is very contagious and though you are doing everything you can to make sure he doesn't spread it, kids are very fast when it comes to touching their eye and then touching a toy, swing, plate, fork, etc...then it is spread. So don't feel guilty. Everyone completely understands and there are going to be a lot more events you miss throughout the years because of weird little things like pink eye! I wouldn't have gone either.

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S.M.

answers from San Francisco on

Let go of your guilt. Pink eye is totally contagious and you have a baby. I wouldn't have gone either.

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H.J.

answers from San Francisco on

It is so hard to make decisions like this. I am having the same issue with a party that we were invited to. I know that if my son was sick, I would try to cancel his party, but I also know that there are fees involved with renting a space and bounce house and that type of stuff, so it is really difficult on both sides.

I am opting not to go to the party we were invited to today because the mom said that the child has a "bad cold" and I am pregnant, so this time I am not going, but it has to be decided on a case by case basis for me. However, we should never feel bad for making a decsion to protect our children.

Another thing about Pink Eye, my brother used to get it constantly when we were kids. He probably had it twice a year or more. Meanwhile, my 2 sisters and I never got it. My mom always figured we would get it shortly after he brought it home, but we never did. I think some kids are more suseptible to it, but there's no way to know until they get it. The anitibotics thing is true too, if a kid has been taking antibiotics for 24 hours, then they are not contagious anymore, but I still say it could be a little risky.

Good luck!

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B.W.

answers from San Francisco on

no you are not

i think you have to be careful

be nice to yourself

B.

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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

No way! Pink eye is contagious. You did the right thing. Don't ever feel guilty about protecting your child's health no matter what anybody thinks!

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K.V.

answers from San Francisco on

To echo what everyone else has said....you did the right thing. And no, you're not being a paranoid germaphobe. Pink eye is soooo contagious! If your 9 month old daughter got it, she would be absolutely miserable as would you. I can't imagine trying to keep a 9 month old from rubbing their eyes! You made the right choice!

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T.G.

answers from San Francisco on

I would not go either. Pink Eye is highly contagious and your DD is only 9 months old. Send a card with your best wishes and plan a play date for someother time.

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R.U.

answers from Sacramento on

Don't feel bad at all. Pink eye is a pain in the --- especially for a baby who doesn't know they aren't supposed to touch their eyes. Both my kids got over it just before my daughter's 3rd birthday and my mom and I spent two days cloroxing every single toy in the house. I assured everyone of the precautions we went through and gave people the same option. Were you assured of any precautions? Again...it's your kiddo's health, don't feel bad!

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J.M.

answers from San Francisco on

Pink eye is very contagious. I think you made the right decision. The last thing you want is to have a sick baby.

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A.B.

answers from San Francisco on

No! you are not being paranoid. Pink eye is highly contagious and that mom should have postponed the party. Very irresponsible on her part. I would have done the same as you did. Listen to your instincts.

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K.B.

answers from Sacramento on

Honestly, they should have rescheduled the party. Pink eye is extremely contagious and children are not allowed to attend school or day cares with it. Do not feel guilty at all!!

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C.A.

answers from San Francisco on

call your doctor right away and get a perscription, once you use it she can return to activities around others, the doctors will also tell you that. It works very fast, go have fun.

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S.C.

answers from Redding on

Of course you love your daughter's cousin! But you showed love and responsibility for your daughter in not exposing her to pink eye. You were right to take your daughter's health seriously. Pink eye is highly contagious, and miserable for infants. My daughter had it when she was an infant, and she felt awful from pink eye, and awful from the medication that had to be smeared at her eyes frequently throughout the day. Not to mention how hard it was to keep her little hands away from her eyes, to prevent reinfection.

S. C.

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T.C.

answers from San Francisco on

You made the right decision.

I work in the optical industry and there are viral pink eye(watery and must run its course) and bacterial pink eye(responds to antibiotics...symptoms are gooey/crusty eyes).
When someone infected comes into an optometry/opthalmology practice ...when they leave we extra thoroughly clean all equipment....even the pen they use.

From the Mayo Clinic about how contagious(since there is mis information from other moms on here and our kids will be exposed alot in the preschool years)
Exposure to an allergen for allergic conjunctivitis is a risk factor, as is exposure to someone infected with the viral or bacterial form of conjunctivitis. Both viral and bacterial conjunctivitis are common among children and are very contagious. Someone with conjunctivitis may be contagious for seven to 14 days after signs and symptoms first appear.
16 yrs in the industry and I have never gotten it. Until THIS WEEK...UGH! My son and I are both dealing with it and it is not fun. I'm not sure where my son picked it up but we just returned from NYC where I couldn't get him to stop touching everything. No makeup for a week and throwing out my mascaras and eye makeup has also not been fun.

You made the right decision and the schools send your kids home for the right reasons.

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T.R.

answers from Stockton on

Pink eye is very contagious. If she had already been on antibiotics for at least 24hours and everthing was sanitized you would've been ok. But if the child was not on antibiotics or the house wasn't sanitized, your daughter could've caught it. It does stay on hard surfaces for some time. This is why it is so important even though she might have been on antibiotics, the house needs to be cleaned, toys, etc. because it can easily be spread.

You did the right thing esp. if she was not on antibiotics and the house not sanitized. I always carry 3-4 bottles of hand sanitized with me in my car, diaper bags etc. for those unexpected moments.
Go with your gut instinct.
Trish

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J.K.

answers from Fresno on

Hi K., As a parent your job is to protect your child so no you were not wrong to have missed her party. My sister had my nieced party a few years ago when both of my nieces had lice. I refused to take my daughter and she was so mad at me but she got over it.

G.P.

answers from Modesto on

Pink eye is contagious, so I hope they can understand why your not showing up. Dont' feel quilty, it happens.Your not phobic about the situation. Do something fun for your child at home so you don't have to feel quilty.

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T.L.

answers from San Francisco on

I don't believe you were the only ones who opted not to attend. There is some debate as to whether a child continues to be contagious after 24 hours on the drops but I wouldn't have gone. No guilt. She should have canceled the party.

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C.B.

answers from Redding on

I think that all pepople have thier ahhhhh things. I own a daycare and I am one that accepts children when they have pink eye. I don't find that it is half as contagious as people say. What is the real harm? You really have to put your hand on the persons eye and then rub your eye....the drops for it are also so easy to get....you don't even have to go to the doctor....you just call them and tell them that your child has conjuntivitous and they send through the prescription. If you miss a BIrthday party over pink eye....you may regret it in the long run!

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K.F.

answers from Salinas on

You have obviously had a lot of responses that confirm your decision is OK but here's one more. My baby (now 9-years old) had a horrible case of Pink Eye at almost exactly the same age as your daughter. Not sure what it was I let it go for a day thinking it would clear up. It just got worse and you can imagine the rest, doctor visits, eye drops three times a day in an infant (a whole story in itself!) and she looked like Rocky Balboa for a week. It was awful for her, myself, my husband and probably the neighbors too! Pink Eye is not a huge deal in older children but in a baby who has no idea what's happening it is a nightmare. Besides, as the point was made, your daughter doesn't even know she missed anything!

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S.K.

answers from Sacramento on

No your not being paronoid PINK EYE is highly contagious and the party should be post poned until he is over the pink eye rather then subject everyone to the possibility of getting it

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M.L.

answers from San Francisco on

I would have skipped it too. Pink eye is easily spreed. I think you did the right thing.

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B.L.

answers from San Francisco on

Pink eye is HIGHLY contagious. You were smart not to go. Even as a mom, you should wash your hands constantly or you will get it as well. My kids are all grown now, but I got it from one of them when they were young.

Keep trusting your instincts. They are almost always right!

+B+

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J.J.

answers from San Francisco on

You're not being a germaphobe. Pink eye is super contagious.Go with your gut feeling!

J.

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S.H.

answers from Sacramento on

No you are not being paranoid. Pink eye is highly contagious and your baby is at an age that they but everything in there mouth and are touching everything all the time. I am not a germaphobe but you may have prevented many others from getting pink eye. They should have postponed the party.

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