Piggyback Post -- Only Children

I am glad I missed the post on parents commenting on the choice to have only one child, or I probably would have lost it.

Right now, we have just one and it will probably stay that way. I am a later-in-life mommy, facing unemployment challenges. I'd love another but feel we can only provide for just one.

My daughter will learn that friends can be just as familial as blood relatives. I can only hope.

We need to be grateful for who and what we have.

It's a hearty lesson.

I have been basically an "only" since the age of 13....My older half sister lived with us until I was 2.5. She then moved in with her mom, and we rarely saw her when I was growing up. My younger brother died when I was 13 in a gunshot accident. My teen years were very lonely. I would go and spend as much time as possible at my friends houses where there were at least 4 kids. I knew then and there that I wanted a big family. I am now expecting my 4th baby and couldn't be more thrilled!

Yes, I so wish I had siblings. I know there is no guarantee we would be close or even like each other, but chances are, we would. I would still like the opportunity. I have very little family (dad left when I was little and mom keeps her distance and is an emotional and financial drain) and it is really hard to see others with closeness to their parents and siblings. I am not jealous of much. I don't get jealous of people with money or fame, I get jealous of people with great family relationships.

I am sure I would feel differently if I had great parents who were supporting and nurturing. It really doesn't matter who fulfilled that role, I just wish someone would have.

Now, I have my wonderful husband and our three kids. But still, in the back of my mind, there will always be that longing to go home to a house full for thanksgiving or bring all of my extended family to a ceremony or get together....but, it just wasn't meant to be for me.

It would also be nice to share the burden of my parents (mainly my mom as my dad and I still don't have a very close relationship) aging. I would love to have someone I could talk with regarding their long term care. It is quite scary and difficult doing it alone. Again, not that there is any guarantee even if I had a sibling or more they would help me, just would be nice to have the option.

Great question.

Well my BFF was an only, and always thought she would have liked to have a sibling.
But now that she's had a chance to view my family drama (as well as that of many other people) she realizes in some ways being an only is a blessing!

I think people should choose to have as many or as few kids as THEY want, and I don't think their choices should be anyone else's business.

ETA: out of my three siblings I only get along with one. The other two have been an emotional, mental, and at times financial, drain on both me and my family :(

I will answer on behalf of two only children I am/was close to. My mom, who died just a few weeks ago, was an only child. Yes, as an adult, she always wished for a sibling. It was in part for the closeness of family and in part to help share caring for her parents. Her mother is still alive at age 90. You can't even imagine the heartbreak she has gone through burying her only child. I was the one who told her my mom had died. It was heartwrenching. My mom was close to a variety of cousins as a child and teenager, but as adults they either grew a part or moved away.

My husband is also an only child. He never really wished for siblings as a child, but I think he would find them useful now. Like my mom was, he is left alone to care for/entertain, etc. his mom and she can be challenging at times. He was raised by his mom and stepdad with some help from his grandparents. My husband never met his biological father until he was 30 years old. They had become close in recent years and then his father died in June. As an adult my husband met three 1/2 siblings he never knew he had as a child. They are now developing relationships and became closer during their father's illness. However, the four of them are scattered throughout the country and it's not the same as growing up with siblings.

We have two children so my husband did not repeat the only child experience. Ironically, he was the one who adamantly wanted to stop at two, but now wishes we had had more. Too late. (-: Unfortunately, our two boys don't get along that well, but I'm hoping that will improve as they get older. They are teenagers now and have very different interests. They do bond and hang out together when we go on vacation. Before we had our second son someone once asked me if we were going to have another and I said yes, in part because of the experience of my mom and my husband with their mothers. So then I realized I wanted my son to have a sibling in part to save him from me??????? We wanted another child regardless so that was only a small consideration.

Both my mom and my husband were/are very caring, generous, well-grounded people. Being raised as only children did not have a negative effect on their outcome or success in life. They did, however, wish for siblings as adults, especially my mom, more so than my husband.

I was sort of an only child. My siblings were 14 and 16 years older than me. While I did miss having a brother or sister close in age to play with, my parents were very good about letting me bring friends along whereever we went. So, while many of my girl friends were stuck hanging out with some bratty little brother on their family vacations, I always got to bring my best friends along. I did not have any close cousins either. I only had one that was close in age to me, but most were even older than my siblings (My dad was the youngest in a family of ten). I am glad I have my siblings, because although we weren't close when I was growing up, they are there for me now, especially since mom and dad passed away.

My DD is unlikely to have any younger siblings. Her brother and sister are adults. I absolutely encourage her relationships with her similar-aged cousins (be they first cousins or farther) in part because I want her to have a family base. It doesn't need to be brother or sister. It can be aunts, uncles, cousins...our neighbors had 2 kids. Their daughter never married and died in her 30s of cancer. The father died a few years ago. Now it's just the son - who has a GF but isn't married - taking care of his elderly mother. Sometimes having a sibling doesn't mean they'll be there down the road.