Piggy Back off of 'Do You Love Your Blood Neices/Nephews More'

It makes sense, but try to use it as a positive. Since the birth of my great niece, I've been able to see her father more and have a better relationship with him because of it. Consider doing things with the older kids to get them out of the house while SIL is dealing with baby sleep deprivation. You might initially go to see the baby, but you might find that you can find new ways to relate to the older kids because you see all of them more. Does that make sense? Maybe take the kids out to lunch or do a "just the girls" day while your DH does a "just the boys" day.

And if you have different relationships with different kids, is that so bad? We're all individuals, right? So long as no one is being shunned or treated poorly, then it's OK to be closer to one or another person.

It's a different kind of bond.
When I married my husband many of the nieces nephews on his side were already school age, so I missed the whole baby/toddler/preschool phase with them. The kids that were born after I joined the family I naturally spent more time with because they were being born at the same time as my kids, so they grew up together, played together (got in trouble together!) etc.
But now that those older nieces and nephews are grown and having kids of their own I'm close to them in a different way. They remember my kids as babies/little ones and compare their own kids to mine which is really sweet. And I can talk to them as parents and adults now which is also really nice.
It's funny how it all just works out in the end :-)

no your not, my brother married a woman who was 6 months pregnant with her ex's baby. The guy was a douche and ran off and left her. I was so worried my brother was getting in too fast and with a ready made family.
He surprised me completely. He took the baby in as his own, fought for their adoption against said douche and is an excellent father to them. I did not get close to her 4 year old daughter at the time, cause frankly on our first meeting she sat in my lap and the bit my hand till it bled. So I didnt really know what was up with that, but when the baby came I was all over that baby. He and I are closer than the girl and I. Though it was probably initial reaction to behavior. The kids are now 15 and 11 and I love both but I still have more a bond with the younger. I think because how you explained it. I was there from day one. Now girl and her blood aunt are almost inseparable and have a beautiful bond.

No, it makes perfect sense to me. It does make a difference when you are there during pregnancy. It doesn't mean that you love the other kids less. Your experience with them is just different. The relationship is different. Maybe visiting with the baby will give you more opportunity to get to know and bond with the other children. Since you are aware of how this might affect the other children, you can do something about it.

It does make sense...but now that you are aware of exactly how you feel and what your fears are do your VERY best to make sure the other kids don't notice...don't notice often at least.

~My sister is my kids' "Auntie" they have an Aunt U from their Dad's side (BIL's wife) but my sister is their one and only "Auntie". I have 2 boys, ages 9 & 7...I also inherited 2 stepsons who are now 21 and 18, who grew up with my sister's boys who are now 17 and 13...so we are chalk full of boys! Then I had a girl. One and only girl on both sides, so naturally everyone was excited... but especially my sister. My daughter is almost 5 and my sister favors her something fierce. I have had to talk to her about it and now that she is fully aware she does all that she can... (and sometimes that's just being honest)...like "Sorry boys, I need a girls night. Just Auntie and Niece this time...but here I brought you a surprise"! It's not always fair but she tries her very best.

Sometimes that's all you can do.

i love all my nieces and nephew (only one) the same. what gets me is that my dads wife shows higher favortism to my step brothers daughter (her blood child). that child can do no wrong in her eyes. it gets to the point my 5 year old doesnt want to go to my dads house when shes there because they can do the same thing and my child will get in trouble for it. my niece is 3 and my daughter is 5. one night my niece full on kicked my daughter in the face. when i got after her my dads wife had the nerve to tell me it was an accident and she didnt mean to kick her when she didnt even see what happened. let me tell you it was deliberate and bruised and fattened my kids lip. but if that was my kid she would have been in major trouble not just from me but my dads wife and my dad and my step brother.

It's sweet that you don't want them to get jealous. It's even sweeter that you've even thought of this.

The best thing you can do is have some one-on-one with each child. It doesn't have to be long. Play cards with them, watch a movie, go for a walk, something simple and easy. Maybe you could make cookies with the older ones.

Part of what makes a child enjoy an aunt is just being with them and you paying attention to them. Yes, they ARE in their own world. We are kind of observers of that and cheerleaders, to a degree.

Board games are also good for helping you bond. Lots of laughter helps!!

Dawn