Picky Eater Who Will Gag & Puke at Table

Just another thought to add to the great ideas here. My son used to gag and throw up all the time until he was 6 years old. When he was 6, we took him to an ENT. He had very enlarged tonsils. The ENT removed his tonsils and adenoids and the gagging stopped. It seemed that every time food ran across the large tonsils it made him gag. He eats way too much food now - he is 10 and still growning :) Good luck!!

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I have had the experience with two different kids, each one had a different reason for doing it. My nephew (now 17) did it so that my sister would give in and let him eat what ever he wanted. When he did it at my mother's house, my mom and I would force him to sit at the table until he tried everything on his plate and did not force himself to throw up or gag. He learned very quickly that we were not putting up with his nonsense, and he learned to eat properly and in a more healthy fashion because of us.
My son has Asberger's, and it's a whole other story. He does have problems with textures, but we have had him in therapy to deal with it, and we encourage him to keep trying the food to get used to it. Lettuce was a big issue-taste and texture. But he kept trying, and now he likes salad-as long as it has ranch dressing. We just learn as we go.
So-it could be a sensory issue, or a control issue. It would not hurt to talk to your pediatrician. Also, ask your child if they know WHY they don't want to eat something different. Kids can be more verbal about that stuff than you realize. Good luck!

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Hi L.,

We have a couple of rules at our table, eat what is served or no snacks and you must try one bit of everything. amazing how quickly children learn to eat things they thought they didn't like. A few times, my stubborn little guy chose to go to bed instead of trying a bite. He now tries everything. He even will tell the rules to his older brother.

The secret is, if you decide to have these same rules, you must stick to them everytime. No backing down.

Best Wishes,

J. H.

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This sounds exactly like my oldest son. We finally went to a nutrionalist when he was 6 for some help. I was tired of cleaning up puke off the table when we forced him to try new foods. It turns out that he had severe GERD. He was choking and gagging because his throat was so swollen, red, and burned that he could not swallow the foods. For several months we tried different medications with the help of a GI dr. Finally, we got the right dosage. Everyone had told me it was a behavior issue, but it wasn't! I would definately look into the idea of a medical problem. My pediatrician even told me it was a behavioral issue, so I'm so glad I got a second opinion.
He slowly started eating a little more. It's 3 years later and he's still a picky eater, but he has started trying new foods. We also learned that the more we pushed the issue on trying something more, the more prone his was to push back and not try. I just made it a habit of putting one thing on his plate that I knew he would like, then a few others to try. I also learned that by putting all the choices in serving dishes on the table (yeah, I know, more dishes:)) and allowing him to serve himself, he was much more apt to try something. When I did serve him, I would just put one bite of food on his plate. He did much better with that, because it wasn't so overwhelming.
I grew up in a house where you had to clear your plate before leaving the table-whether you liked it or not. I think that led to my eating issues all the way into adulthood. Any nutritionalist or dietician would never tell you to force a child to eat something.

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Dear L.,

I'm sorry to hear about your little guy. I believe though at 5 years old is too old to be doing such a thing at the table.
Its definitely not healthy for all of you to view stomach contents on it. Yucky!

Here's a suggestion: do you prep him on what he will be eating? If possible make associations on who eats such things like superman, batman or his favorite hero or character. If that doesn't work, when he has an episode of spilling his fluids - isolate him or "time out" from all of you. This gives him the hint of unwanted behavior. Hard as this is the eventually peer pressure will stop it also. Unfortunately, no one at school will sit with him if he does such a thing. Be consistent and always loving. Good Luck....

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Dear L.,
I quickly scanned through your messages. One thing I did not see was the possibility that this may be your sons way of dealing with the stress and/or depression of the absence of his dad. Deployment as you know has hurt all of our blessed military families in a multitude of ways and the children are coming through with various stressers. The food issue is yes: a control issue, an anxiety issue, a stress issue--- your son does not know how to handle an emotion that is within him that he does not understand and food is the only thing in his life that he can tangibly control. In life, we moms can pick and choose our battles with our children and this may be one battle that can just be one left alone until dad comes home. I really do like some of the suggestions that the moms gave. Hey, son, would you like to make the grocery list with me??? would you like to pick something from this cook-book to cook with me??? would you like to ??? Sharing meal time and cook time at this age, can be something fun for a child, if he is willing. By all means, you are a GREAT MOM and this is nothing that you created someone said it was your mess--she is completely wrong---shame on her for not understanding your plight. You and your children are doing something that civilians will never understand, living day to day, praying for dad to come home safely and keeping a loving home as normal as possible. I hope you connect with that other mom that has moved for support. I pray for you and your family. I pray that you and your son will talk about his emotions and that "this too shall pass."
In His Love, M. N. (an ARMY brat of a Retired Soldier)

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L.! I feel your pain! I have an 8 YO Asperger's Syndrome child (low spectrum autistic) and he will only eat certain things! He also gags and throws up when he tries certain foods! My pediatrician says it is a sensory and texture thing! He can't eat meats at all, immediately throws it up, so we are checking to see if it is a protein allergy or just a sensory issue for him!! For the last 6 and a half years I have had doctors tell me that "it's a phase, he'll get over it!" NOT!! After 6 years I don't think it's a phase! There is something else going on!!If you don't get results from your doctor, take him to another and then another until someone takes the time to figure it out!You are definately not alone on this one!!

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L., Please hear me when I tell you that you can not be unkind or punish him for this behavior. I was also a child who gagged and at times vomited because of something that was in my mouth. It is not voluntary!! I would b epunished and forced to eat something that my body just could not keep down. I would hold my breath and swallow it with milk just to get it down. I hated coming to the table for dinner. As I got older I found ways to get rid of certain foods, like feeding the dog or throwing it away, anything other than eating it.

Now as an adult my family is very aware that I will try new foods on my own. I will try a small bite on the tip of my toungue, if I do not like it they are not offended if I do not eat it. I still gag easily and I will still vomit if I get something unexpected in my mouth that I find unpleasant. This involuntary and as unpleasant for me as it is for anyone else. It is not only about the food itself. My mind takes me to where the food came from, how it was prepared, and all of that has an impact on how I am able to eat. I am unable to finish a meal if someone begins a conversation that takes my mind to an unpleasant thought. i will have to find a way to put that thought out of my mind, such as flies, or other disgusting things. I no longer vomit in front of other people, I learned to control that when my parents learned to stop forcing me to eat some thing my body wanted to reject. Now if I feel it coming on, I wil take a drink and just sit and talk a few minutes before I take another bite of food.

The more you push, and upset him the worse it is going to get. As a parent if you have never experienced this I am sure it looks like defiant behavior but let me assure you it is not, he would love to be able to be like the rest of the family. When my son was young, he would gag on tomatoes. My husband wanted to force him to eat them, I on the other hand could relate and I thought he should be allowed to take them oof of his food. He could eat the cooked just not raw. To this day, he is now 28 he still can not eat them raw.

I am pleading with you to try to understand this as something that your son can not help. There is so much going on that at his age he can not explain it all. I have spoken to other people who grew up like this and who understand it as well. What we all find interesting is that each of us have a very creative side to our nature. We seem to be artists, achetechts, designers... We see the small details of life, maybe that is why the small details in food become something that we notice more than other people. I hope this helped!

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L., this has got to be really frustrating, fortunately my kids didn't do this. I on the other hand, did when I was a child. In my situation, it wasn't the taste of the food, it was texture. And as far as I know I don't have Asperger's Syndrome. I just was very orally sensitive, for instance, I loved the strawberry flavor, but the strawberry itself was bumpy(seeds) so I could eat strawberry jello, or jelly, but preserves or the fresh fruit would gag me. I loved orange juice but if it had pulp, I would throw up. It was awful and my mother did what she could to help but there were times when she got REALLY impatient about it, I'm sure she thought I was doing it on purpose at times, but I assure you it was totally involuntary. I'm not sure when exactly but around the age of 6 suddenly I quit. I outgrew it and don't have problems at all now. It may just be a developmental delay or something that your son will grow out of.
My suggestion is to find out what exactly triggers it for your son, for me it was the textures that weren't smooth or even that wouldn't mush into something smooth, things with seeds, etc. If you can pin point it, you will be ahead in knowing what foods you could safely try to get him to eat that are different from what he eats now.
Also, if you know for instance, that pulp in juice causes it, either buy pulpless or strain the pulp, use jelly instead of jams or preserves. Just some ideas. Good luck and I hope this helps

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First, let him have some input as to what you're making, and have him help. Secondly, let him know exactly what you're having for supper and that if he cares to join you, you'd love for him to do just that but that there will be no gagging or vomitting at the table, and if he does, that he will have to be excused from the table and will not get anything further to eat until the next meal. He will eventually get hungry and eat. Additionally, if he is excused from the table, have him get his pajamas on and go to bed (even if it is 6:00) because people who are gagging and throwing up (even on purpose)should be resting so they can feel better.
Just giving him napkins and a change of clothes won't solve your problem.
I can guarantee you that when he starts eating lunch at shool, you will either be picking him up every day at lunchtime or he will learn to stop making himself gag, if you don't get a handle on it now. It's a control issue that he has over you. By gagging or vomitting, he can get you to give him whatever he wants to eat.
Good luck to you!

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Here are two great articles:

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/3/T030800.asp "Feeding Toddlers: 17 Tips for Pleasing the Picky Eater" It has good ideas for introducing new, healthy foods to kids, not just for toddlers.

and
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/4/T040200.asp "ABC's of Teaching Nutrition to Kids" I thought this one was especially good because it teaches parents how to make learning about healthy food fun for kids. It talks about how to educate kids so that they make healthy choices on their own later on and so they know which kinds of food are healthy and why. The only thing I didn't agree with was that he suggested rewards, but everything else was pretty good advice. The article talks about referring to "grow" foods for kids.

Can you try to substitute an all-natural brand of hot dog? Or eliminate hot dogs all together? Hot dogs and processed meats are really really unhealthy, especially for children's growing bodies. They have nitrites and other harmful things in them that can cause all kinds of illnesses, even cancer. One article explains, "When red meat is exposed to high temps--frying, broiling, grilling--there's a chemical reaction that forms HCA's, which are known carcinogens...The AICR suggests eliminating nitrite-preserved meats altogether--any amount of which increases your risk of cancer. That means hot dogs, salami, ham, bacon, and sausage are out. When you eat processed meat, the bacteria in your GI tract transform the nitrites into nitrosamines, a potent class of carcinogens." If you don't want to cut out those meats altogether, you could probably find a version of them without nitrates at a health food store. Hormel has packaged meats without nitrates at any grocery store.

Another great book for you to read is: "If It's Not Food, Don't Eat It" by Kelly Hayford, C.N.C. It is really entertaining and informative on reasons behind why eating healthy is so important. Even talks about how big food companies have an influence on what we eat and other interesting perspectives. Gives a clear guideline on how eating more healthfully is do-able and how it directly effects your health. Cheap on Amazon.com

Best wishes!
C.

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Did you steal my daughter?? Miraculously, I have found something that is starting to work. My mom sent a package for my kids a couple of weeks ago, and this is what I did. I gave them SMALL portions of what was being served. I'm talking one spoonful of green beans, three small bites of meat, etc. I then set a kitchen timer for 15 minutes and put it on the table. If their plate was clean when the timer went off, they got to open their package. I use it now and offer dessert sometimes, but there are times when I don't have anything to offer, but still use the timer. I always try to include at least one item they like, that way I know they're getting at least something into their stomachs. This is very important: there is no arguing, no "how many bites...", no discussion about it at all. You don't care if he eats or not!! But if he doesn't, you better really enjoy that dessert or snack right in front of him! My daughter used to gag with some foods also, and I really think it's a texture thing. I just got so tired of her not eating simple things like spaghetti, tacos, etc--the things most kids eat! I've been keeping it simple so far, but hopefully I can venture into vegetables some day. Just yesterday I sauteed some veggies and put them through my smoothie maker with a can of spaghetti sauce. I haven't served it yet, but my hope is that if I got rid of the chunks they won't know it's there! Good luck!!

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Online, there are sites for lunchboxes but they have cool suggestions for lunches. Example, fruit boats and sandwiches on a stick. Also, let him help you make lunch, he will be more likely to eat it if he made it. But, he must learn there is a proper way to spit things out politely(in the trash or a napkin)especially before school starts.

Good luck,
D.

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Yep - been there done that! My brother used to puke at the table. My son was a great eater until the age of 1 and then became Starch Boy. I was a picky eater too. Some people, myself included when I was a kid, have what I call "fear of food." We get easily grossed out by certain foods, or sometimes foods we like can become gross while eating. We don't "trust" strange foods - they could be scary or gross. It a real thing.

However, picky eating is also a control thing for some kids - like my son. I didn't understand this until he was a teenager. But, kids don't have much control over their lives and some figure out that no matter what, no one can make you eat anything you don't want to eat. And thus, they have control over that. I found out my picky son would sometimes try foods at other people's houses but not at home.

So what do you do about it? I tried everything. What I finally ended up doing was deciding that peace at dinnertime was more important that strife. I fix meals for the family and try to include at least one thing he likes, but not always. If he doesn't like what is being served, he can go make himself a sandwich. Whatever he makes, he has to clean up himself, completely. I have this rule for all my kids because a few others are picky to a lesser extreme. I still offer new foods and try to get him to try things. Sometimes he will, sometimes he won't. But I stopped beating myself up about it.

When he was little, I was extremely concerned about his health because he was only eating pancakes and grilled cheese sandwiches. Our doctor told me that as long as he's growing he's fine. Well, he's 6' 3" now, so I guess he was right.

I did sneak veggies and tofu into foods he liked and he never knew. Gerber carrots into pancake or cornbread batter, mixed tofu into margerine. There's a book called Stealth Health I heard about that has all kinds of ways to sneak healthy foods into other foods. I also once made homemade bread in the bread machine using V8 juice instead of water. The bread was dark colored but delicious and all the kids ate it!

I think pickiness and fear of food is an inherited trait. My grandfather was very picky too - lived mostly on peanut butter, cookies and hot tea! But he was a tall, slender man who was healthy until he died at the age of 92.

I have a son who has been very sensitive. He is now studying to be a chef. Let your son help in the kitchen but don't force him to actually eat but just taste. I used to make my kids sit at the table until they ate what I thought they needed but I have learned, the hard way, that that is not necessary. I believe in good manners esp when we go somewhere out, but I think there are other issues of much greater importance to fight about than food. I agree with the lady who suggested offering only one spoonful of each item then they can choose to have more. My son was very sensitive to smell and texture which is making him a great chef. He can put together combinations of seasonings on a piece of meat that make a fabuluous flavor. We never know why our kids do some of the things they do. It can be a control issue, but in your case, I really doubt it. God has wired him this way and it can cause great emotional frustration for all of you. He's five - ask him questions. He may be able to eat crunchy, frozen peas but detest the texture of canned. I think you get the idea. Best to you.

My step-son is almost nine and at times still does that. We would tell him to stop if we heard him doing it. If that did not work, then we would remove him from the table. Also, making them clean up their own mess. Offer options that the child likes. We also make everyone try one little bite of what is on the table, for the simple reason that tastes change. Just keep calling the child on it. Point it out and make him aware that he is doing this.

Good luck

L. I feel for you. I have 5 year old daughter who does the same thing. My husband and I just continue to at least make her try everything. If she gags or throws it up we just keep trying another time. She used to eat everything too when she was younger. I think part of this is just a phase because my 9 year old stepdaughter used to pretty picking and is starting to open up to trying new things. Good luck! I will be checking back to read other responses you recieve to help me deal with my daughter as well.

I haven't read all of your other responses, but I can say if texture is an issue, there's not alot you can do. I am an adult & if I get the wrong texture in my mouth I cannot swallow! I mean honestly CAN'T! I have learned to eat alot more foods now that I am an adult. I learned to eat salads as an adult, & I love lettuce now but if it gets in "the wrong spot" that's it I'm done! Obviously, try to encourage him to try new things in small amounts, maybe even cut his food up extra small, so there's less texture & less to chew. He's young but let him know our taste buds are always changing & what we like today we may not later & what we don't like now we might later. Also try cooking carrots in with roast & gravy so they are 100% cooked through (mushy even) & they no longer taste like a carrot or green beans even. Just keep being encouraging. My son is 13 & until he was 8-9 he ate nothing except junk, hot dogs, pizza, chicken nuggets, mainly because my mom was my sitter & let him, but when I got stable hours I just kept reinforcing the need for a healthier diet (especially with sports)& I never made him eat anything I just put it there for him to try & he eats ALOT better now, but his wasn't a texture issue. Not what you would like, but ALOT better! Good luck & be patient because if it is texture it's a tough one to deal with!

I agree with other comments that dr checking this out would not hurt. it could be a physical issue that needs treatment.

L.,
I just bought the cookbook Deceptively Delicious by Jessica Seinfeld. I haven't tried a recipe yet, but there aer great recipies for adding vegitables to chicken nuggets, mac & cheese even pancakes. You might want to look at it and see if it might help you.

Have your son pick and help prepare something new. I would suggest with his dad, but that sounds unlikely, but when his dad is home, have them plan, shop and prepare a NEW healthy meal. He may not be as likely to spit out something he is responsible for.

Also, try going to mypyramid.gov, there is tons of info on food, balanced diet, etc. If he is chart oriented you may get him to try some new things to check them off his chart.

If you are on the devious side, make something new and DON't let him eat it. After a bit of an agruement, agree to give him just one bite. Next time, he may beg to try it.

Try to have 2 items he will eat. ie. Applesauce and carrot sticks. Make sure to put all of the food items available on his plate. Eventually he will start eating/trying new things. This way he wont go hungry, but you aren't making chicken nuggets every night either!

Well, I don't have any experience with this directly but I wanted to respond, primarly b/c I can relate to the "about you" part. I have 2 boys ages almost 3 and 4 1/2. I've been married for 9 years and am a SAHM w/ a home sewing/design business. We moved here a year ago to be close to family and I know what's it's like not having a support network. This is the main reason we moved back home. If you're looking for a friend in the same life stage as you, jot me an email. I'm in Derby so we're close.

I would suggest asking your pediatrician first aabout the gagging thing. However, it may just be a stage he's going through right now and you might have to let it run it's course. I would feed him what works and try to keep him from puking at all costs. I DON'T do throw up well and I don't think it's worth it to force him to eat something he doesn't like if theres a chance of puking at the table. Pick your battles I guess and pray he outgrows the stage soon :).

My son (8 1/2) does the same! The gag thing is gross. Look up "food chaining dieticians" on google and see what you think. I'm ready to try that.

Good Morning L., WOW do you have your hands full. Was going to say plate :0 oopps just did. I would have your son take at least 2 bites of everything and if he doesn't like it ok. We have pickie eaters here also but they have never gaged
(except the baby 10 months, on baby carrots)nor thrown up.
Your son likes the same as most kids nuggets, PBJ, Ham no cheese sandwiches. He also ate everything you put in front of him early on. Even blue cheese dressing.

He is 5 so maybe a little chat with him on going to the bathroom quickly if he FEELS like he will barf, would save the rest of the family the discomfort at the table. Maybe some foods cause a gag reflex too. I have to use a child's toothbrush I have a touch sensitive gag reflex :(

Anyway L. I would talk to my little one and tell him that barfing at the table is not a good thing, and he should try not to do this at the table. Also have him just try 2 bites of what is prepared, he may find out he does like a little bit of some things.

I wish you well, hope others have Much better idea's.
Always
K. Nana of 5

I've got one of those myself...5 year old boy, gags, throws a fit at meal time...What is helping us is a timer. I put a bite of the veggie or fruit we are having or the otehr item he isn't used to and give him the opportunity to try it...If he gives us trouble we set the timer and if he doesn'y "try" it by the time it goes off he doesn't get dessert or a before bed snack. He has learned that he hates this and usually he will try it becasue he hates the timer... 5 minutes works for us. You could use something other than dessert as leverage...anything he enjoys daily...Works for us anyway...

L....I think our children must be siblings! My daughter is 7 ( she will be 8 in October) SHe is the Exact same way. SHe was a great eater of all foods until around 2 then got super picky and would refuse foods and also gag over certain foods, at first we thought she was doing it on purpose for attention, but after years of it we no longer think that and have talked to the pediatrician a lot about it. I think from what our pediatrician says ( and at least on this I agree with her) that some kids are more sensitiove to tastes and textures. My issue with my kiddo is I am always concerned that she is getting proper nutrition, up until recently she ate no vegetables and I wa spulling my hair out over that one, and the only fruits she ate were bananas and apple sauce.
I know the vomiting at the table is unpleasent, and I don't think making meal times stressful is the answer but I do agree with my pediatrician that at a certain age they are old enough to understand about their bodies and how what they eat affects their health. Let him be involved in preparing meals, talk about the food pyramid and the daily servings of food he needs for his age, weight ( I know there is a website for this but for the life of me I can't remember it lets you put in the weight of the child etc ) We instituted the one taste rule at our table and we are trying to compromise a little and let her decide what vegetable she will eat ( I usually have 2 ) we have had two recent minor success, last night she ate a little salad with catalina dressing on it and said that wasn't so bad, and the night before she ate a few spoonfuls of corn.

I am sure you will get a lot of posts about children should eat what is put in front of them, and that children won't starve, and I feel sorry for those people because they have such archaic mindsets. Listen to your heart when it comes to your child, he isn't vomiting at the table for attention or because he likes it for heavens sake. I wish you all the luck and I Wish I had better advice for you. I would definitely talk with your pediatrician and have your pediatrician talk to your child, because having heard it from the doctor has definitely made my daughter be less reluctant to try new things.

Also I have seen a lot of different posts in the past that talk about how fabulous the sneaky chef is, that may solve a problem for right now but it is not teaching them healthy eating habits for the future.

I will keep your family in my prayers, and I will also be reading for fabulous suggestions that may help my daughters situation out too!

B.