Picky Eater, Refuses Fruits And/or Vegetables What Can a Mom Do?

Updated on May 01, 2008
T.B. asks from New Castle, PA
29 answers

HELP! My five year old REFUSES to eat vegetables or fruits. I've tried the "let your child help make dinner" thing. I've tried the "name the food funny names (ie: Crazy Corn or goofy green beans)" thing. She will eat bananas for me. She eats these things when I am NOT around. But absolutely refuses to eat them at home.

What can I do next?

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E.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

Great cookbook for kids like this, call Deceptively Delicios by Jessica Seinfeld. Hides veggies in everything!!!

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J.A.

answers from Philadelphia on

Two sugestions that have worked for me with my 2 1/2 year old. Tell her she is not able to have any and when you eat them emphasize on how good; mmmmm yummy, then walk away into another room.

If that does not work than I would go back to the basics. I did that with a few things for my daughter I bought the toddler fruit puffs again, and lied to her saying that prunes were chocolate. I also give her yogart saying it is ice cream, and the NutriPals Bars as treats... they have a serving of fruit in every bar. Oh yeah and the NutriPals Drink is her Chocolate or Strawberry Milk.

Hope it works out for you. Good Luck

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A.D.

answers from Philadelphia on

When all else fails, sneak it in. Have you ever heard of Jessica Seinfeld's cookbook? It's called "Deceptively Delicious". . . try it out!!!!

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J.M.

answers from Erie on

That's great that you have such a strong relationship with your daughter. I'm very close to my boys and LOVE being a mommy.

Many times the children refuse to eat things because we teach them that it's ok to be that way. We give them sweets and bread and fill them up on other things that are not good for them. You know, you may want to serve ONLY fruits and veggies. Become vegetarian for awhile. Don't supplement with any bread and absolutely no sweets until her attitude changes. At first it will be a battle, but when she's hungry enough she'll eat what you give her. You are NOT starving her, she's refusing to eat. There is a WORLD of difference. Vegetables are very good for her and a VERY important part of her health. Do it all with a smile and an excellent attitude on your part no matter what attitude she may try on you. Also, I don't MAKE my kids clean their plates. If she's only willing to eat 3 green beans, fine. This is supper time and breakfast is served in the morning. A few nights of going to bed with a growly tummy will not hurt her. She will learn to eat when it is supper time.

I really hope this helps. I know it sounds a little harsh, but I'd rather be a tough mom with kids with healthy eating habits than have kids with spoiled attitudes, poor health, and mean spirits.

1 mom found this helpful
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D.F.

answers from Pittsburgh on

First of all, the food thing. I would ignore it for awhile. I know you will worry, but it all balances out later. She will come around. I would not let her have candy or sweets, but start ignoring the fact the she won't eat the vegetables and fruit. Keep enjoying them in front of her, again, not making it a big deal. It's a power struggle and it really won't do a lot of damage if you let it go for awhile and see if she stops fighting you when you aren't making it a big deal. It gets her attention right now. Pay attention to other stuff she does.
The other part of things---my second child came into the world strong willed. She exhausted me when she was little. She is fifteen now and is the most amazing, wonderful person, with her own mind and fantastic goals and determination. She is going to be a wonderful woman. Hang in there. You too, could have an amazingly strong women coming up! D.

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M.J.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I feel for you. My DD ate any and all fruits and veges in baby food form until we changed over to regular foods. She has not had even one vegetable since she was a year (she's almost four now) and the ONLY and I mean ONLY fruit she will eat is baby food bananas on occasion. This is not normal for an almost four year old.

Everything the other ladies are suggesting, I have tried. I can't hide veges and fruit in a recipe because she won't eat what it is being put into. This child does not even eat Spaghettios...... I have books and have had so much advice and nothing works.

On top of not eating fruit, she only will eat chicken sometimes (no fish, meat, etc). I am in the process of filling out paperwork for the Children's Institute to see if it is a texture problem. My daughter needs some type of therapy because we are at the end of our rope.

-M.

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B.

answers from Philadelphia on

I had a marble jar with my kids for awhile. Every time they tried something new they got a marble in the jar and when it was filled they got a treat, a trip to Ritas. Smoothies are a good way to sneak in some healthy stuff. YOu can call it a 'shake' and sneak some stuff in that. Good luck!

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J.Y.

answers from Pittsburgh on

You really just have to put the food in front of your child in the proper portions and tell her she can't have more of anything until what is on her plate is eaten. With non-veggie eater, I even start with a small portion so they feel like they have a chance to succeed. For snack time, not every snack every day, but if you want her to eat fruit for a snack, give a choice between two fruits, not a fruit or chips. The biggest thing is to not make this a power struggle. Go onto mypyramid.org and show her what she needs to be healthy, then point her back to her pyramid when she's making her food choices.

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H.W.

answers from York on

T....this has been a life-long battle with my 12 y/o son. When he was younger we figured he would grow into it...so far no luck. He used to eat a fairly wide variety of fruits, but now he eats apples, grapes and strawberries - nothing green EVER. Even as a baby he wouldn't eat the green smushy food. I've tried it all...with no luck.

Most health food stores carry "green" vitamins for kids. They have the good green stuff packed into a pill. I actually found green gummies - they don't taste quite like fruit snacks...but all three of my kids eat them. It's not quite winning the battle...but in our house this was a battle that we had no hope of winning.

With my youngest son I can occasionally sneak things into breads...banana bread, pumpkin bread, zucchini bread (even better with chocolate chips)...I've heard other parents say they put zucchini in pancakes as well. There are some fruit snacks in the health food stores and organic sections that are made with real fruit - again, not a perfect substitute, but better than nothing.

Apparently my husband was like this until he was in high school...so I'm keeping my fingers crossed because now he eats a wide variety of them without fussing.

Good luck - this is such a frustrating battle! All of those articles that say this is a learned behavior are a bunch of bunk in my book - I eat veggies all the time - so does my husband and so does my daughter! My son has always had them on the table, we always put them on his plate - and he STILL won't put them anywhere near his mouth.

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K.R.

answers from Harrisburg on

Sounds more like a personal issue than a 'food thing'. The bananas have loads of good stuff, and will carry her through.

Don't put the veggies on her plate. Don't sermonize about them...just ENJOY yours. She will get curious after a while.

YOU be at peace. Even we adults often don't like what we are told is "good for you".

KayMarie

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M.M.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I get bothered when my children give me a hard time over food. I am the child of Depression Parents and I think of the 10,000 homeless children that walked the street in NYC during those days doing without, and how many other children live in the world without. Waste and frustration over food are not things I reinforce by catering to my children.

We have a three bite rule in our house on what has been put on the plate. I don't cook extra for specifically. I am not alwayws successful, but upon putting my foot down I have curbed the arguing at the table significantly.

If worse comes to worse -- there is always yogurt, fruit, pretzels, baby carrots that they can grab later. Not necessraily a meal but healthy fill ins since I have a hard time making my kids go to bed hungry.

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J.C.

answers from Lancaster on

Here are some websites to help you...
familyfun.com and look up "vegetables in disguise".
Foodnetwork.com and look up "hide and go sneak"
Oprah.com look for "Jessica Seinfeld recipes"

These websites all have great tasting recipes for hiding vegetables in food, and your child will never know they are in there. My cousin actually buys baby food jars of vegetables and hides them in pancakes, mac & cheese, spaghetti sauce, hamburgers, etc...

Hope this helps.

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T.B.

answers from Harrisburg on

T.-

Dont panic! My children still dont eat alot of veggies. My doctor said to me, "you dont eat things that you dont like, dont expect your kids to eat things they dont like either" My daughter who is now 14, has had milk only a handful of times. She wont eat anything with milk in it, cant stand it! I bought some fun vitamins and made sure my kids had one a day. In the meantime, try eating those things in front of her and tell her that they are good. She may start to wonder what she is missing....

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M.B.

answers from Kansas City on

My daughter is the same way, however will drink the V-8 Juice(juice type with all the veggies and fruits blended in so U cannot taste then). They have a passion fruit and strawberry banana, those are her faves. We also found a children's vitamin in a gummi bear type at costco, she now asks for "candy". I started to make "ants on a log" with celery, peanut butter and let her put on the chocolate sprinkles. She now will eat celery on her own with ALOT of ranch dressing!! Start gradually.I figure a little is better than nothing at all:) Best of luck to U.

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G.I.

answers from Philadelphia on

T.,

I'm going to be giving you advice that I can't seem to follow myself, but I'll throw it out there anyway. I recently bought the Deceptively Delicious cookbook that encourages blending fruits and vegetables and adding them to the food you offer your child. I loved this idea and bought the cookbook with high hopes. I still plan on trying it but I just haven't been able to get my act together. It's a great way to get the child to eat fruits and veggies even though she won't know it. What about offering her V8 fusion - isn't that a drink that offers one serving of fruit and veggies per serving? Best of luck, I know I'll be in your situation very soon!!!

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H.L.

answers from Harrisburg on

You can find cassoroles with veggies in them and she'll never know What they are...

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J.M.

answers from Pittsburgh on

There is a cookbook called Deceptively Delicious (I think) that is full of recipies that incorporate veggies into foods that you would never think of. At our last MOPS meeting one of the moms made chocolate chip cookies with garbanzo beans in them and they were really good. Or another suggestion, if your little one likes mashed potatoes, cook cauliflower and mash it up with the potatoes. There is another cookbook along the same lines, but I don't know the name of that one. I can get it if you want, let me know.
Another thing, we had a nutritionist speak to our MOPS group recently and she said that kids will come around to it, just keep offering it. They will eventually get tired of what they are eating and try something new.

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S.W.

answers from Harrisburg on

Hi T.,

I saw on a tv talk show that Jerry Seinfeld's wife has a cook book out about putting veggie purees (sp?) into regular foods like lasagna and even brownies... it could help out until she gets over this stage... Good Luck!!

S.

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P.D.

answers from Scranton on

Hi T.. There is cookbook called Deceptively Delicious by Jessica Seinfeld that hides good foods in recipes without them tasting it. I only have it a short time so I have only made the brownies. My older kids noticed they tasted different, they have spinach and carrots in them but I told them the recipe is a low sugar recipe and that's why they taste different. When that is the only sweet thing in the house they all went really fast. A friend of mine tried more recipes and said all of them she tried didn't work on her son but some of them did. Hope this is helpful to you.

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R.R.

answers from Philadelphia on

Try that book by Jennifer Seinfel (Jerry's wife) d, that hides veges in foods so kids never know the difference. I just forget the name, it was on Oprah last year.

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J.T.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi. Fortunately for me, I haven't had a lot of trouble getting my daughter (who's now 6) to eat her veggies.She actually likes most of them. However, there have been a few instances. I've read in magazines that you may have to present the same foods more than once before children will take to them. Tried that.
Growing up, I always had to finish what was on my plate. My husband and I tried it a couple of times with her when she just didn't feel like eating them. We had to be a bit strong-willed ourselves. If she didn't want to eat them for dinner, we told her we would save them and give them to her for breakfast before she had anything else. Or we told her that she couldn't get down from the table until she was done. Both of these methods seemed to work for her. She realized we weren't going to give in (and it was hard not to). Obviously we wouldn't do that with foods she just can't stomach (like spinach), but like I said before, she actually likes most of them. Anyway, I don't know if either of these ideas appeals to you, but they might work.

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P.S.

answers from Erie on

Well there are several cookbooks out there where you can sneak in the veggies and fruit and they will never know they are in there. While they still get vitamin content but yet some of the same tastes they make like, by pureeing foods and adding them to things like Macaroni and Cheese, or sticking them in breads...banana nut bread or pumpkin breads...any rate...here is a suggestion of a book that I use for some picky eating grandchildren that I have. I would suggest this cookbook "Deceptively Delicious" Simple Secrets to Get Your Kids Eating Good Food by Jessica Seinfeld. There are other just as good books out there as well. I know ordered thirteen copies of this around the holidays to give to moms I know and family, you can reasonably purchase it online at Wal-mart.com. Once you look through the book you can get creative with your own recipes. We make a manicotti dish with spinach and artichoke hearts...that seems to fool our bunch. Easy recipe:
Manicotti
1 pkg. of manicotti noodles
1 24 oz. package of nordica cottage cheese
2Tbsp. parsley
1 egg
1 cup of parmesan cheese
1 10 oz. pkg. frozen chopped spinach

Cook the spinach and drain and mix with all the ingredients but the manicotti...stuff the manicotti, place in a 9 x 13 pan, pour over one jar of your favorite sauce (we use prego mushroom and garlic), add one cup of water and pour over that and then add 2 cups of mozarella shredded cheese. Place foil over that and bake at 350 degrees for one hour and fifteen minutes. Note you don't have cook the manicotti noodles ahead of time, you stuff them uncooked.

I hope that helps and gives you one suggestion of working in foods they probably won't notice. I have four daughters that are vegetarian so I have had to learn to cook differently including veggies in most things.

Enjoy! And don't worry it generally is a phase they are going through. And try some fruit smoothies!

Smoothie...
one container of plain yogurt
banana
six strawberries
add as much ice as you are comfortable with
add 1/2 pkg. of strawberry kiwi Capri Sun

Blend and enjoy.

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M.M.

answers from Harrisburg on

you have better luck than I did. At least she is eating some on a daily basis.

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C.C.

answers from Johnstown on

Try the book Deceptivelly Delicious by Jessica Sainfeld (wife of Jerry). She creates these absolutelly yummy foods and desserts using pureed veggies. My daughter realy loves the donuts.

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D.V.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Have you tried v8 veg/fruit juice??? My girls love it!

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S.R.

answers from Allentown on

I have the cookbook from Jessica Seinfeld "Deceptively Delicious" and the recipes are yummy even for adults!

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J.S.

answers from York on

This advice is only given because it has worked in my family for many generations. All of the family members who have used this method eats nearly every fruit and vegetable in their adult life.

Feed her vegetables first before you give her dinner. Tell her she needs to eat them first and then she can have the main meal. If she doesn't eat them, then she skips the meal. This might sound like you are starving your child, but you're not. There are starving children in third world countries and they would love to have any food they get their hands on... now those children are starving, not yours. She will soon get the idea that she will not be fed until she eats her veggies first. And don't give in by feeding her later. She'll just wait until you eventually feed her every time. If she want's to eat, she must eat a few veggies and then can have her meal.

Also, she doesn't have to eat a whole bowl full. As long as she eats a few every time she will eventually get a taste for them. Make sure these are fresh or frozen veggies. There are not many kids who will eat canned veggies no matter how much "force" is involved. Try sauteeing them in butter with some Lawrey's season salt. They really taste great that way.

When she wants a snack, give her a piece of fruit. If she's really hungry for some food, she'll eat the fruit. This method really does work and has worked in our family for over 9 generations.

Hope this helps,
J. S.

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K.C.

answers from Johnstown on

Hey T.,
I understand getting children to eat healthy is a challenge and what drives me nuts is that when they eat dinner at a friends they try new things and eat what is given to them even if it is vegetables. They wont do that at my house. I am not a big fan of hiding veggies in food but sometimes it does work. Like, for my 15 month old I will cook broccoli and cauliflower a little softer and mix in with mac n cheese once its done cooking and its almost undetectable and he eats it. I think he just doesnt like the texture on its own but mixed in is fine. Now, with my 9 and 7 year olds its much harder but I just have to put Velveeta cheese on broccoli and they eat it. But dont worry too much because when they start eating lunches at school they start to eat different foods including fruits and veggies because that is what is given. I ask what they choose for their lunch and if they liked it and if so I ask how it was made so that I can make it at home. My 9 year old liked the vegetable medley at school so after asking it was basically just a mixed frozen type veggie so I bought it and it looked likes schools, I put a bit of low fat margarine on it and he liked it. Good luck

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G.M.

answers from Lancaster on

Have you tried giving her baby carrots or apple slices as an afternoon snack, when she is REALLY hungry (like in the car during afternoon pick-up on the way home), when there is nothing else around]?

How about a fruit smoothie?

I tell my son he will be "taller, slimmer, more handsome and smarter", if he eats his veggies. This is what I tell myself, too. I believe it to be true.

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