Picky 3 Yo Eater

Let him be!

If he is healthy enough to run around and do the normal things a 3 year old does, let him be. Offer him the good things to eat and if he doesn't and still runs around and does normal things, let him be.

I was a skinny, skinny kid. All I ate was fruit. Apples particularly. My mother let me be. I grew up normally. My son only at white foods, and he grew to 6'2". I let him be.

There are three things you can not make a toddler do: eat, sleep, and go to the bathroom. Sigh.....

I'm a first time mom, but i have had quite a few sisters and one of them was one of the pickiest eaters ever! she wouldn't eat veggies or fruits or anything. so my mom tried to "hide" proteins and veggies and such in her "choice foods". here are some ideas=

-pasta with melted Parmesan cheese.

-tri-colored pasta.[shh its made with tomatoes and spinach]

-pasta with peas or corn in it. [its a small step into new foods the smaller they are the less likely he is to notice/reject them]

-give him carrots, celery, or any other dip-ables. kids like to dip things. even try giving him honey or caramel to dip them in. it sounds weird but he might go for it since you said he likes the sweeter things.

-SMOOTHIES! [you can add yogurt and veggies, and he most likely wont even notice]

i hope these are helpful ideas!
definitely let me know how it goes!
C. H.

Hi C.,
My son was the same way at that age. It was amazing he would only eat "butter noodles" with parm cheese. That was it, breakfast, lunch and dinner. It drove me crazy. So this is what I started doing. I would add one or two small "new" foods, brocilli, corn, different fruits some type of meat, yogurt etc. He had to take one "no thank you bite", if he didn't like it, he didn't have to eat it as long as he tried it. He then started finding other things he liked and started asking for those things. But still to this day he doesn't eat the portions size I think he should most of the time, but the doctor says he is healthy and is just a skinny guy! Good luck.

It really is important to keep up the "this is what we are eating" thing because otherwise he will never get out of this phase. My 3 year old is the same way though, but he'll only eat dairy and bread. Here is what we do...

We feed him lots of cheese and cottage cheese to make up for protein. We include something he will eat in every meal... like a piece of bread and butter. He only gets one, and if he wants more, he has to eat the other foods first. We have a one bite rule that all our kids must eat one bite of each food before they are allowed to be excused. Beyond that, I don't nag them about not eating. If throughout the day they have not had healthy foods, they may not have treats, or junk snacks. Juice is limited to once a day unless it is watered down (which my son doesn't notice). We also (on the advice of our pediatrician), give him chocolate milk every morning with breakfast. We warm it up and it is whole milk with Carnation instant breakfast. This way, he is getting some nutrients without even knowing it.

My SIL made the mistake of trying to force her kids to finish everything on their plates and caters to them if they don't like the meal. She has 4 boys and will sometimes make as many as 5 different meals to please them so they won't go hungry. She now has 3 boys that are all picky eaters and underweight, and one that is overweight. I think the most important thing right now is to teach good eating habits and trust that he will not starve until dr tells you to do something different.

I also noticed that around 2 1/2, my kids' eating slowed WAY down and it seemed like they weren't eating enough, but they just don't need much food then because their growth slows down.

My 3 1/2 y o old is mostly the same type of eater as your son. We will eat mac n cheese, grilled cheese sandwiches, cheesey quesadilla, all made with whole wheat bread or tortillas. We have lots of yogurt smoothies and i blend all the fruit i can add in to it so its very smooth. He doesnt like most textures of food. I also blend peanut butter and fruits into his cream of wheat in the morning. That way he gets proteins and fruit and doesnt even know. I know alot of moms would disaprove of this method. But over the past year he has expanded his likes. I look at it like a child with food allergies would receive special diets so i will cater to my pickey eater alittle longer. I also add vanilla flavored protein powder to his smoothies.

Yes it does drive me crazy on busy morning when we have to get to school. But hopely our boys will expand a little at a time. Keep trying.

Dear Dear C., sweety you need to remember this is a 3 year old child & they go through a fays of all kinds of thing eating,sleeping,ext if he dose not like some thing ask him what do you wont to eat,because you have to eat some
thing at dinner time when you take a bit of food he tells you he don't like make it sound delishes like mmmmm this is
so good I sure hope I made enough for seconts its the littel
things we do.my children went through this peanutbutter & crackers,peanutbutter & jelly any thing that he will eat untill this passes the lord is testing you & Iam sure with
the help of all the Moms that responded to this will help you.
God Bless & Good Luck P.S please don't let him go one day
with out something to eat just think how you would fell if
it were you hunger is all over the world don't bring it into
your home its not a good felling I know because I'v been there O.K.
God Bless You & keep you safe. J.
About me a mother of 4 grandmother of 9

Letting him eat the crackers and filling up on juice is why he's not eating. You need to make sure he's hungry at mealtime, then he will eat. Cut out the snack before the meal, and cut out the juice, and he'll start eating. Lots of people don't realize just how many calories a child consumes through juice, even when watered down. My daughter used to fill up on water during meals, so we didn't put it out for awhile, and she started eating A LOT more. Serve your son his meal first, then his drink, like milk or juice AFTER he eats.

You probually do this already but you could give him what you have for dinner along with a small portion of something you know he'll eat and talk about how delicious dinner is with your husband. As a grownup discussion you can add into the conversation about the buttery smooth melt-in-your-mouth green beans or tender sweet chicken with sauce. I would ignore him and always give him other things on his plate to try. If he wants more of his favorite food you could try asking him to try one teaspoonful of 2 other things on his plate first. Make it a small amount to try and praise him for doing it.
I think it's a mistake to cater too much to a picky eater because than they expect to always have something special other than what you are serving.
Maybe you can have him help (with a butter knife) cut carrots or mix something up for dinner. He can help pick something out at the grocery store for a recipe like 2 apples or a broccoli tree for a forest dinner. Getting him involved might give him an interest in trying the food

Luckily I don't have picky eaters in my house but I do have skinny kids. Does he like avocados? I'm pretty sure they are the perfect food, got everything you need including a lot of good fats. Maybe you can try making smoothies( through in some avocados:)), have him help make them kids are more likely to eat things they've helped prepare. At the very least find him a whole foods gummy vitamin, they can be expensive but at least he'd be getting his fruits and vegetables that way.

I'm sorry Mama, I'm sure someday he will eat without prodding but until then I hope some Mamas can give you an idea that works with him.

Hi C.-

I can relate.....I have a two year old girl who has always been extremely picky. She only recently started drinking cows milk instead of infant formula. She's also very skinny, her BMI isn't even on the chart. She's been to see a speech/ occupational therapist twice because she really seems to have some food aversions (most nutritious foods--she won't touch). The last time we went to a speech therapist was about a week ago, and the speech therapist watched her eat a variety of crackers and crunchy things (her safe foods). He pretty much told me that he couldn't help us that this is just the way she is and to just go with it. He made the point that she's growing she's smart so just let her be who she is and she'll come around. I agree with this advice. He also suggested setting out a food plate (the kind that's separated so the different foods don't touch) with a variety of foods (new foods to try and things that are "safe") and encouraging her to try the food throughout the day......but definitely not forcing her. Just gently encouraging. I've tried this and she'll at least eat her safe foods when she's hungry.

I completely believe in discipline and that parents are the ones in charge, but I know my daughter and forcing to eat hasn't worked and and isn't working now. It's been really frustrating for us, but I feel much better now that I've accepted that its who she is right now, she'll come around and to just go with it. As long as she's healthy I'm happy.

Good Luck! :-)

I've use some carrot juice ( pasturized) in his blueberry juice or applejuice- about 4/1 bc you don't want him to know it's in there. You can get all types of organic vegie juices.. ask your doc if you can use a protein powder for a smoothie?

I'm guessing you have already called the doctor to make sure it's on another reason?

C.-

I have the same problem with my almost 3 y/o daughter. I keep getting the same thing about she'll eat when she's hungry. And when I relax about it I realize it's mostly true.

The best thing I've found is just making meal and snack times consistent, and giving her foods that I know she'll eat. I also try not to make meal times into a fight. I giver her the food and a certain amount of time for eating. If she finishes and wants more, good. If not, the food goes "away" and she doesn't get fed until the next meal time.

But other than being on the petite end of things, my little girl is happy, healthy and VERY energetic! If she wasn't, I'd worry.

Also, when I ask her what she wants (do you want cereal or toast?) and then honor her answer, she will actually eat it! So I do breakfast ans lunch like this and then dinner is a family meal (kids eat the same stuff as the adults).

Good luck to you. I know you've heard this one, but you (and your kids) will get through this one! :)

-B. M.-

Hi C.,

My son is the same as yours when it comes to eating. We've gone to an occupational therapist who is helping us get on the right track. Much of the eating behavior dates back to when they were infants...like if they had reflux, many learned that eating was not a pleasurable experience. Many children also have food phobias where you have to get them used to the sight, textures and smells of food before they will even consider trying it. You have to habituate them to the food by first having it on the table, then maybe on their plate (not touching any other food), then maybe they will smell it or taste a little bit.

It's a lot of work, and seems like it should be natural for kids to want to eat...but for many it's not something they enjoy. What makes it worse are the power struggles that come out of it. We were told that a child's negative emotions are connected to the Adrenaline neurotransmitter system, which in turn directly suppresses appetite....so you are never supposed to do anything at a meal that will suppress their appetite. (Yelling, getting upset, giving ultimatums).

I'm still learning in this area, so can't give a ton of advice yet, but I'd recommend bringing him to an occupational therapist for evaluation. Two books were recommended to us: "Coping With a Picky Eater" and "How to Get Your Kid to Eat...But Not Too Much." You are also supposed to offer something that they will eat at every meal (along with the regular family meal), so for us that would also be pasta. You are not supposed to talk to them while they're eating (nothing to interrupt them doing the right thing). No TV at meals. Also, the language that you use with your child at meals is important...ie: using "YOU CAN" vs. "CAN YOU?"

Here's wishing you luck. It's hard to work through, but I'm sure there's a light at the end of the tunnel somewhere.

(PS - there are some cases where children will starve themselves to death. It's one of things outlined on a "food myths" sheet we were given. It's rare, but for some kids there are physiological reasons why they won't/can't eat and they will starve themselves to death).

M.

What Megan D. wrote about phsychological issues behind eating is true, and I am a testimony to that. But my daughter also had a medical condition that suppressed her appetite. A simple blood test revealed that she has "pseudohypoaldosteronism." It's better now, but as a baby she was starving to death, because she was never hungry. She only weighed 12 lbs at 6 months old!!! Finally a doctor ran a blood test on her sodium levels. They were whacky, and we found out she has refluxing ureters and a susceptibility to urinary tract infections and kidney infections. BASICALLY the body's appetite is partyly determined by how much salt in is the body. If the bladder isn't flushing enough salt out, then appetite goes away. This is a very simplified version. I suggest you see a behavioral therapist, but that you ALSO request a sodium blood test to rule out this condition.

My Naturopath Physician tells me about one of his children who only ate white foods for an entire year (potatoes, pasta, I can't remember what else but it wasn't much and it wasn't very nutritious). I agree with attending to the psychological aspects for a lifetime of healthy eating -- don't make eating a negative issue or associate it with misery or grief!

My son is also a picky eater, but get this -- he is a bit of a gourmet! Now before you assume that I just spoil my son, get this -- he will eat all sorts of fruits and vegetables that other kids won't and is crazy about mushrooms., olives and beans! How did I figure this out? My husband cooks like a gourmet and he eats mostly what my hubbby makes. Also, when we take him out to eat he will consume massive quantities if it's something he likes. He is especially fond of omelettes and scrambles at the Eugene Glenwood Restaurant or the Springfield Pump. He loves Sushi and tempura and salmon from the Sushi Station. He has been in the 3% since month six but now at 2 years 8 months is hovering around the 15% and is gaining in height. He still eats sparingly (i.e., practically nothing) a lot of days but stuffs himself if we hit on something he likes.

I say get him to eat in any way that is positive even if it is only one or two indulgences a week at a restaurant! He will not only get more nutrition at this tender age, but he will associate eating positively and will eventually start eating more on his own.

Hi,
My 6 year old and 3 year old love pasta too.. Places like Fred Myer or QFC sell a pasta brand call Dream Fields pasta (in a black box) This pasta taste good and has 8 grams of protein per serving!
best of luck,
Lenc

Yeah, sounds like when my son was little...trying to get fruit or veggies seemed impossible..then I discovered he liked pumpkin pie..so I figured thats better than toast!
It became a house staple he would eat it for breakfast.
He also would enjoy smoothies..he was what the Dr. called "a lazy chewer".Give him vitamins.
He still at 22 has a VERY limited palate....and yes is tall and skinny!!

C.,
My son is a picky eater as well...and crazy scrauny. I have done a number of things to get him moving in a healthier direction. First, we use JuicePlus to supplement his diet since we all know he doesn't eat what he should. (if you want info check their website...my SIL sells them and introduced us to them...they are awesome)

Second, we also use the technique that he must try at least ONE bite. I have found that during that particular meal he will not eat the thing he "HAS" to try, but won't fight it as much the next time it is served.

Third, I hide A LOT of food in his favorite things. For instance, we have Macaroni & Cheese w/canned shredded chicken or tuna. I will make "sloppy joes" and hide shredded (almost pureed) carrots, chopped green peppers, tomatoes, and various other foods in it. If your son is a pasta eater and he doesn't mind the sauces...any kind of tomato sauce is a great place to hide other foods...it is amazing what tomato sauce will cover up (ie: carrots, peppers, zucchini, etc etc etc).

Also, at 3 my son was battling for his own way, pushing the buttons and the limits to see how far he could get with just about everything, including the eating. We set a rule at our table though...we would give him a specific "amount" that he had to eat (ie: 3 bites of green beans, all of his favorite food, and 3 bites of whatever else) or he could not leave the table. This technique has worked wonders and now he negotiates with us. He will tell us how many bites of the things he doesn't care for that he will eat so he can leave the table.

Try to remember (and it is hard, cuz we love our kids)...you are the adult...you can set the rules and the boundaries so that they are fair and easily maintained for consistency (cuz that is the KEY). My son is 7 now and although he is still incredibly picky...he eats much healthier and now will always try at least one bite without fighting us. He has even amazed himself (and us) by finding that he loves what we have put in front of him and will continue to eat everything in site until it is gone.

OWW...one other thing. We told my son a while back that if he doesn't fight us at dinner for 2-3 nights in a row...he gets to pick the dinner for the 3-4 night (the nights depends on age). So for 2 or 3 nights he eats like a big boy...he then can have his favorite meal (mac & cheese and hotdogs). Try to work WITH him not against him. He will learn as we all do. Plus...try to think of your most HATED food and imagine someone forcing you to eat it all the time. That is what we are asking of these kids. Be patient...he will come around and find his own way, until then...just keep at it. Someone once told me that our taste buds change every 7 days...so if he says he doesn't like something today...try again next week!;-)

Best of luck,
L.

I can relate. My son is almost 3. I have a daughter who is 13 and when she was that age she did the same thing. At first they ate everything and anything and then one day, nothing! I have decided that whatever he does eat, I'll just keep giving him - you should try fortified or whole grain pastas and breads to make sure it's good for him. Try rice mixed with a cream of mush/chix soup. He gobbled that up yesterday.
If he can eat dairy, that's a good source of protein. Yogurt, string cheese.
Anyway, offer him what he does want to eat but keep trying to give him the other stuff. One of these times he'll taste it and then eat the whole plate plus "more, mommy!". Maybe ask your dr (or not) about a multivitamin to make sure he's getting what he needs to grow.
I read the other day that toddlers don't need as much food as we think - a tablespoon size of this and that.
Well hope that encourages you to just stay the course and keep offering him choices besides what he is picky about. Hopefully your whole head of hair won't turn gray over this... I feel like I get older everyday!

My 2 1/2 year old daughter is super picky too, and favors just quick breads and fruits. I have given up on trying to get her to eat new things at my urging, I just try to make every single thing that she likes to eat super nutritious, and then give her a good multivitamin plus a cod liver oil supplement.

One bizarre thing that I've noticed is that if my daughter sees a tv or storybook character eating a food, she wants to try it. So we watch "Wonder Pets" and at the end the animals celebrate with celery, and now she asks for celery. We found some different videos about vegetables on YouTube, and now she'll eat carrots or try some new vegetables right after she's seen the videos.

And lo and behold, just in the past few days, she's started to ask to try food off of her daddy's plate, or for a small serving of "our" food at supper. So, hang in there, try to work with him.

Good luck!

P.S. Eliminate the juice!