Pediatrician, Is She Right or Wrong?

How can we know if you're wrong or she's wrong?? We don't know you... or her! Go see a specialist for heaven's sake and find out what they think.

I had a different response from some of the other responses I read. I would feel upset, too, and I would get a second opinion. I would probably start with speech therapy to rule out any other, non-autism, reasons why my son's speech is a little late (seems like there is a family history there) and to see if there is anything I could do to accelerate it.

You could get a referral to speech therapy for an eval or a second opinion from a doc. You could get him evaluated somewhere like St. David's or Fraser's, who have a big focus on working with kids "on the spectrum." I would hope that, if he does not meet criteria for Asperger's or Autism, someone who is expert in diagnosing would be able to recognize that. If they see other areas for concern, I hope you are able to receive them and take whatever action you believe helpful.

Good luck. Please do a "so what happened" and let us know what happens!

Is the ped saying this based on what you are telling her about his speech, or basing it on her interactions with the child? Because it's possible that he is shy and clammed up when at the doctor's office, but because he didn't interact w/ the doc (no eye contact, didn't want to talk to the doc), the doc judged him.

However, if you think he's not meeting all of these milestones for 3yo speech, you should probably get him tested:
http://www.suite101.com/content/the-talking-three-year-ol...
http://www.childdevelopmentinfo.com/development/language_...

What gives...I will tell you what gives, you have nothing to gain here by being right. Would you like to be right, or would you like to be sure that you have a child who grows up to be all that they can be? What gives is, you have zero to lose and everything, everything, everything (and walk in my shoes, I will tell you it IS everything) to gain with a simple evaluation. I say, lucky you and quit grousing about this gift you have been given.

it sounds to me like you have a good doctor who cares about her patients and saw something in your son that alerted her to send you for an evaluation. Honestly, would you rather that she spared your feelings and did not say what she saw, to keep from making you mad? What if she did that....she saw something, she ignored it, and at age 5, or 6, or worse, 7, 8, 9, or 10 you get a diagnosis. I bet you would be madder than a march hare then, because you missed your opportunity for early intervention. But hey, she did not make you mad.

Here is the poop. Autism is not what you think at all. Autism is a broad spectrum from mild to severe, and there are plenty of kids who can look you straight in the eye, are outgoing and verbal, and use their imaginations who have it. Autism is NOT the kind of condition where you can rule it out because someone can do any one thing. Frankly, the only issue I would have with your pediatrician is that she mentioned any disorder whatsoever, and instead, did not just make a referal for you based on the deficiencies that she saw, because if it is a lagnague issue, there are TONS of things that it could be, and it could be that your child has multiple langague learing going on. Evaluation is a WIN WIN. You either walk out the door as one of the lucky ones who knows that nothing is wrong with your child's developement, or you walk out the door knowing exactly what you need to do to help your child. What on earth do you have to gain by being right or your pediatricina being wrong? You actully have a significant amount to lose if you don't and YOU are wrong, and I cannot express the heart ache of knowing that something could have been done for your child if someone had just been progressive enough to pay attention early.

Get an evaluation and thank your lucky stars and recomend this pediatrician to every one you know. More families are not as lucky as you are and have pediatricians who miss things that could have responded to early intervention. You do NOT want to walk in my shoes.

That, my dear, is what gives, you have been given a HUGE gift. Take it, say thank you, and be happy no matter what the outcome. Maybe you will hit the jackpot and find out that you will never know what I am talking about, and so, I really, really, hope that you never do.

M.

PS: He may or may not qualify for speech at school if there is an issue. That is not automatic for any child. Many children need therapy, and are turned away from school districts because the speech issue is not going to effect the child in the classroom, which is the only time that the school is responsible. Sometimes, schools are just saving a dime at the expense of a kid. Therapy should amost always be dual, meaning if you get some from the school, you need a private therapist too...

If English IS not his first langague, meaning he learned the other lagnague first, he may qualify for ESL, which is different than speech, but could be helpful. Many kids with two langagues also qualify for head start. MR

Autism is a HUGE spectrum, and there are all kinds of symptoms your son might or might not have. Even though the way you describe him does not sound very autistic, it will not hurt to get a second opinion or contact your local early intervention to get him evaluated. There is a lot that can be done to help (even mildly) autistic kids, especially if it is caught early. Get him checked out. Your ped may be wrong, but how would you feel if she is right and you decided not to do anything for him? High functioning autism, sometimes called aspergers, often comes with a high IQ. In fact Einstein and Thomas Jefferson are thought to be high functioning autistic. Better safe than sorry.

Rather than debating on who is right or wrong....why won't you just get your child evaluated?

It sounds like you are offended by your pediatrician's concerns...I would not think this way, she is simply doing her job. If something does not seem right to her, she will and should tell you so. After all, she sees children all day and should be able to detect subtle nuances that you may be missing.

I would not hedge on this. Beyond three, obtaining services and evauations for delays can be difficult. I would call early intervention and get evaluated.

Ack!

My son, HAD a speech delay.
Just normal speech delay.
He was assessed with normal development and advanced development in many areas, both physically and cognitively
.
My son and daughter, are also fully bi-lingual. Since birth, they were always spoken to, in both languages.
And they are normal bright wonderful kids.
My son, who is now 4.5 years old, is the most TALKATIVE one in my family and we cannot get him to stop, talking.

He was NEVER even suspected as being Autistic.
Hit all his milestones.
Boys, are often later in talking.
My Son's Speech Therapist said, that about 80% of her clients, were boys.

DISREGARD your Pediatrician's comments.
Many kids are shy. Mine as well, at different age junctures.
So what.
They are also very observant and articulate kids. Very perceptive.

My Daughter, being in our Bi-lingual home and being bi-lingual, had NO speech delays. She began talking before 12 months old.

Talking or not, has NOTHING to do with 'intelligence.'
Einstein, did not speak until 3 years old. Mozart as well was a LATE, talker.
They were Geniuses.

As I said, my son, had a speech delay. He had speech therapy from about 19 months old until almost 3 years old. It was very helpful.
I got the Speech Therap. for him myself, via our Early Childhood Intervention organization.
His Speech Therapist said, my son was just a late talking boy and he was also SHY. Which is no biggie.

I think, personally, your Pediatrician... is really... jumping the gun.

And I might add: What the heck is wrong with being in a bi-lingual or multi-lingual home? It seems like it is 'bad' because kids talk (English) later, due to their multilingual ability. But really, it is not a 'bad' thing. Kids raised in a multilingual home... actually develop MORE brain synapses, than single language speaking homes.
In many countries, people just grow up, being able to speak more than 1 language.

My son's Speech Therapist... did NOT attribute nor 'blame' my son's speech delay, on his bi-lingual ability. Rather, she thought of it as being very beneficial. My son she said, had tremendous cognition and deductive ability, even for his young age compared to other kids at that same age. She said, because his brain, was developing more complexity, for his age. Which is a good thing.

all the best,
Susan

Hi,

I am sorry that this news has upset you. I think as a mom, we all want to protect our kids from everything. When she said this to you, I am sure you felt threatened and angered because its like a personal attack on your child. I know you want to switch doctors and all that, but try to read between the lines and see exactly why she said this....get a second and even a third opinion. Children who have autism are just as smart and maybe your mama bear instinct came out a bit and thats why you are so defensive. Take her talk with a grain of salt and go get some more opinions. You can even go to the early learning institute and have your child specifically evaluated by a qualified professional so you can have peace of mind. The bottom line is, he could be autistic or he could have some speech delays or nothing wrong at all-- I would get a few opinions and then decide if you are going to do anything or nothing at all. Take a big breath and relax....Things will be ok!

M

Wow - Martha R could not have said it better! Read and re-read her response.

Have an open mind. The pediatrician isn't trying to make you feel badly or label your kid. The pediatrician is a trained professional with not only years of education but also thousands of patients and experience dealing with developmental issues.

Get a second opinion but don't just ditch your pediatrician because you didn't like hearing what she said or because she hurt your feelings.

Why take a chance? It's not going to hurt to have him evaluated. If there is anything to what you're ped is saying, the sooner you catch it, the better for your son. It's very clear that you love your soon. Do this for him.

Get a second opinion, preferably from a doctor who speaks two languages.

Get a second opinion. The autism spectrum is very broad so every autistic child is definately not the same. If you ignore warning signs you could be doing a dis-service to your child. Early intervention is proving to be amazing for kids and that is why providers are looking at all the kids so closely these days. Don't be offended... get another doctor (a specialist) to give a second opinion to put your mind at ease.

In my opinion, it isn't about right or wrong. If you're not worried...then don't worry about it. She is making a general observation based on average milestones. She isn't a speech or lingual specialist, right?
She would send your child to an oncologist if she suspected that he might have cancer...she wouldn't fully diagnose or treat it herself

Based on what she knows and what she sees, she is making a recommendation for further evaluation. Nothing wrong about that at all. It isn't as though she is insisting...it is still your choice.

All that being said, being a two language home, I wouldn't worry about it at all. If you otherwise like your pediatrician, why would you change?

I don't agree with everything mine says either. But so long as we agree more than not, i don't feel the need to search out someone who is only going to tell me what I already know or believe to be true.

Think about it in the reverse...how would you feel if she said nothing, he turned out to be autistic, and you missed the opportunity for early intervention?

I think it's good to listen to what other people say, but to trust your own gut. I've had several kids in my care who were from bi (or tri) lingual homes who were "late" talkers. Many times there appears to be a delay because of the multiple languages spoken in the home, and like most other developmental milestones, speech can vary pretty widely. Her reference to autism seems a little premature if you ask me, unless there are other indicators. And even then, a good pediatrician won't casually throw out that kind of diagnosis.

If there are other concerns that seem to point to autism, I'd have him evaluated. Early intervention is so important, and if he seems on track with everything except the speech, it will ease your mind as well.

Even a speech therapy eval may not be a bad idea. As well as you know your son, there could be something you're missing. Her approach may have been off, but it sounds like the intention is good.

Good luck!

She's completely wrong. Bilingual and Multilingual kids are on a *completely* different timeline for verbal milestones. Typically 1-2 years "behind" single language speakers... but that's a GOOD thing. Behind NOT delayed (big big difference). Single language speakers lose part of their audiocortex (it atrophies) as well as several other areas of their brains that multilingual speakers DEVELOP. Which takes time.

Language milestones that are commonly found (in this country) are specific to ENGLISH. You won't find "tsu" listed (one of many japanese milestones that children need to have a full set of front teeth for), nor the french "round/nasal" sounds, nor chinese tonal sounds, nor rolling Rs found in many languages, nor, nor, nor, nor.

Bilingual and Multilingual brains are developing at *tremendous* rates in their speech centers and audiocortex and fine motor areas. Just a FEW examples are : sounds not heard in a single language (we speak in "accents" when we learn languages later in life because those parts of our brains that HEAR the nuance of the sound died when we were toddlers), differences in grammar (where's the verb??? How can anyone understand when it's not properly at the FRONT of the sentence but somewhere randomly in the middle???) & tense, & sexes (like der, die, das or la, le) that just don't exist in English. ((Same token, there are many things that exist in English that don't exist in other languages.))

Fine motor skills are also a *huge* deal in multilanguage speakers. The way we shape our lips, tongue, throat, cheeks, ALL affect the sound a noise makes to make a word, as does our breath control. ((The poor russian/ exUSSR states girls in my school get sooooo much flak from the staff... they are NOT being snide/superior... Russian language forces a lot of air through the nose which in English *sounds* like someone is "flipping attitude", but isn't... it's just that that is the way their bodies send the air from their lungs through their throats to speak... they are speaking VERY respectfully, it's the TONE that changes with airflow)). Say English has 200 (to make up a number out of thin air) fine motor movements. French may also have 200. BUT THEY DON'T OVERLAP. The way the mouth, tongue, throat, and air shapes with each language is DIFFERENT. And that's just fine motor. Twice the work. That is doesn't take children twice as long for every language just shows how amaaaaaaazing the human brain is. 2, 3, 4, 5 languages... they all just add on an extra 1-2 years.

Most multilingual speakers start talking at 2 (instead of 1) and most are *fluent and separated* by age 4ish. They UNDERSTAND perfectly fine in both languages long prior... it just takes a while for them to be able to replicate and separate the languages. It tends to happen almost overnight. From words jumbled together on occasion in both languages to full sentances, using proper grammar, with NO accent in either in usually just a few weeks.

I could go on. But the point being is that your pediatrician, YES, is very ignorant of NORMAL speech development in multilingual children.

I think it is fair to you and your child to ask her to give a speech therepist referral to have a PROFESSIONAL in this department give thier opinion. You can even go to the school district to have their speech therepist (special ed department) do an evaluation. My son has a speech delay (I thought they were wrong at first) as well as Adhd, and some sensory issues (again I thought they were wrong) turns out the extra help was GREATLY needed. I am not saying anyone is right or wrong right now but I am saying that it is worth giving it a look into. You are correct, some kids talk later but, could you use the confirmation of your child's growth, I think yes. Good Luck it is not always easy to hear someone say something that contradicts your own thinking about your child but it is something to look into.

btw ... Early Intervention stops after 3yrs old and since your child is so close to being 3 they may not be able to help and they may refer you to the school.

well, we can't really tell you whether she's right or wrong, since she has seen and examined your child and we're only reading about this on the computer.
you need to take your child to another doctor and get another opinion.
i do suggest that you take a deep breath and calm down before you do so. i tell you true, pediatricians don't say stuff to be mean. you're taking this a personal insult, and it's not. she may well be completely off-base, but she IS offering you her professional opinion based on whatever criteria she uses. you can disagree, take your child elsewhere, get some testing for your own peace of mind, or follow her advice, but understand that as your child grows, you're going to hear things that you don't always like or agree with. you're not helping anyone by getting torqued.
khairete
S.

Try not to get so mad. The pediatrician is only doing her job and is doing what is in the best interest of your son. It won't do any good to get mad and defensive, so calm down and think about the situation. What information is she using to come to this conclusion? Was it from just the few minutes she spent with your son? Did you fill out a questionaire? Did she ask you question directly? If she is basing her decision from the later two then I would take her seriously. It won't hurt to have things checked out. Chances are, he is fine and just taking his time.
Good luck!

The easiest way to deal with this would be to see a specialist to rule things out. Instead of wringing your hands, being angry and getting opinions from all these people who do not know your son, make a quick appointment today to see a specialist. Simple fix.

You have nothing to lose to have your son evaluated. You can have it done without cost thru the school district. If he doesn't need help they will tell you. Keep in mind that it is to the districts advantage to find him OK. If I were you, I"d get the evaluation so I could stop wondering about the pediatrician's opinion.

I'm not sure that I'm much help but I will tell you that our pediatrician told us that children that are brought up in a bilingual homes speak later than most children. Good luck.

Updated

I'm not sure that I'm much help but I will tell you that our pediatrician told us that children that are brought up in a bilingual homes speak later than most children. Good luck.

Take a deep breath. There can be lots of reasons for delayed speech and it doesn't hurt to have an evaluation and speech therapy. My brother didn't put any words together until he was 3 years old and hardly even had single words. At age 4 my parents realized he was still having trouble for his age and sought speech therapy, it helped him be better prepared for school. Sometimes speech catches up on its own and sometimes some intervention can make a huge difference for a child.

As for the autism "diagnosis", a regular pediatrician is not qualified to provide that. Do some research on your own (sounds like you have done a little), question your ped further as to why he/she thinks autism, and then see whether what you learn raises any red flags for you. Seek an evaluation by a developmental pediatrician if you feel it would give you the best answers. Autism is a spectrum and other things can mimic aspects of it. If language is the only piece present, then just have that evaluated to start. Better to get interventions started early IF they are determined to be needed.

My DS has moderate Sensory Processing Disorder which was greatly affecting how he interacted with other children especially in noisy group settings. Occupational therapy helped him and us understand how to work with that. Starting school has been tough enough and if we had not had a good understanding of his sensory issues before he had started, it would have been AWFUL.

So hugs to you. Take the peds advice with a grain of salt but seek additional opinions as you feel is necessary.

Autism Spectrum Disorder is a 'spectrum' because it is wide and varied. The best thing you can do for your son is, not be defensive/offended and seek out an oberservation/diagnoses. Maybe he has something, perhaps he doesnt. But why not 'know' either way and if you can do something about it now, then better for your son. Seek out the next steps, I dont think you should switch drs over this. What if he does have something that can be helped and she would have never said anything to you about in fear of offending you in some way??? Then I think that would be a reason to switch Drs...take a step back and think about it

PS my 2 SS are on 2 ends of the spectrum, the younger had early intervention (by 2 yrs) and doesnt obsess, makes eye contact and isnt withdrawn either

Get a second opinion. Now a days many doctors are too eager to diagnose autism, even when it is not there. If he is meeting his milestones I really do not see a problem. Many children do not talk much until they get older. I know I did not talk hardly at all until I was at least 3, I didn't have to, I had an older sister who did it for me. But when I started to really talk it was in complete thoughts & sentences. If you feel the need to gently encourage him to use words instead of other non speaking indicators it may help him along, but don't push him too hard, let him set his own pace.

You know autism is extremely common to be honest. It's a bit more than 1 in a hundred. So it is a common diagnoses because it really is so common. Keep in mind it's a spectrum disorder so it can go from barely noticeable to full fledged disabled and not able to care for oneself.

But have your child tested. Not enough words is where it starts studies show. Usually these kids meet all milestones then at around 2 they start to regress. So any sign you should have him tested just incase. That way he can get occupational therapy and be much much much better in the future.

It's a shock when the doc says something like that, isn't it? It's not a matter of if she's right or wrong. She, herself, doesn't know if she's right or wrong. She gave you her educated opinion and now it's up to you to take that opinion and decide what to do with it. My oldest is on the Autism Spectrum and, though he wasn't raised with two languages, also met ALL his milestones before the age of 4 (he was actually ahead in many of them). He makes good eye contact and *seems* like a normal kid in many ways. By two he was speaking in full sentences, and yet, it DID turn out he was on the spectrum.

I'm not saying your son is on the spectrum, of course, but it cannot hurt to have him evaluated. I know many children who grew up in bilingual households. Certainly your child's English skills will be behind other kids' at this age, he IS learning two languages, after all (see what Riley said). But if for some reason, it ALSO turned out that he was on the spectrum and you didn't find it early, that would only be to your son's disadvantage. So, IMHO, although he's probably *just fine*, if it were me, I'd have him evaluated anyway to rule out anything. Good luck!

Simple answer: if you don't like what your pediatrician says, seek a second opinion from another pediatrician. We had a young pediatrician who didn't even have children trying to give us advice about our 3 year-old. In my opinion, she was way off the mark and I didn't feel her "textbook" (rather than real-life experience) answers and concerns were accurate. I changed pediatricians, explained to the new one what the original one was concerned about, and she LAUGHED and asked if I knew if pediatrician #1 had any children. When I said no she said she understood completely. The pediatrician had 3 kids and had been there and done that. She said my son had no issue and that kids do things in their own time most of the time. Sure enough, she was right!

Change your pediatrician!

I have also heard from bilingual friends that their children are later to talk (but start talking in both languages). However better safe than sorry. If your son is on the spectrum early intervention can work wonders.

If I were you I'd look up the early childhood intervention (ECI) program for your state to see about getting an evaluation or second opinion.

My daughter was evaluated through ECI due to speech delays. The speech therapist noticed she was speaking "hyponasally" and referred us to an ENT. Turned out she wasn't hearing normally due to fluid in her ears & enlarged adenoids and wound up having surgery to fix her hearing.

I think you are right. I think it's very common for a child in a bilingual house to take just a little longer to get chatty. Even in a single language house some kids just take a little longer than others. There's nothing wrong with that. Before you know it he'll be talking your ears off and you'll miss the pre talking days a bit. You could take your child to another pediatrician for a 2nd opinion, but if he's making all his other milestones I wouldn't worry about it.
It's just my opinion, but I think all this evaluation business is becoming a major industry and it's getting out of hand.

I think you should listen to the pediatrician!We as parents always think that our little ones are just perfect!at least that's what we want them to be!Your pediatrician see's thousands of kids and they usually have enough experience to tell you that somethings not right!We speak 2 languages at home as well and my daughter was building sentences at 2.5 so I really think by the time he's 3 he should talk quite clearly!Kids are very smart and they can learn 2 languages at the same time very easily! I had a friend like you that did not want to accept that her son had some ploblems socially,but now he's in special ed!So,please listen to your ped and go to a specialist were they can check him!

Well first of all I can relate cuz my son was always way behind my daughter. He still lags behind her, he has just turned 5 and has just grasped counting to 10, saying his alphabet, recognizing shapes, colors, numbers and letters. My daughter was very much ahead she already knew how to read and was doing the things he is doing now between 2-3. I would get a second opinion and then try not to get emotionally involved. My pediatrician told me there is a wide range of normal and just to work extra hard with him. It is still hard for me to not be defensive, but if he needs the extra help it will benefit him more if you get it early on :)

I wouldn't know if she was right or wrong, but I would think she obviously has the skill to have some concern. Go get him evaluated or a second opinion.

Have him evaluated.
Then you'll know for sure.
LBC

It sounds like she is wrong to me. At worse he could have a slight speech delay but I can't see how it would be autism. And if you say its something that runs in your family he will probably just talk more closer to 4. Also, if he is shy he probably just doesn't want to talk that much in front of strangers.

Without knowing more I cannot say with absolute certainty that you are right and the doctor is wrong, but I do agree with you. Parents, especially moms who are with the kiddo all day, usually know when something is wrong with their child. It is mother's instinct. If you think your son is progressing just fine, then I'd ignore the doctor on this. If you are uncomfortable with the doctor then certainly find a new one.

Get a new pediatrician.

Well, your pediatrician may be wrong, especially with the two language thing, but just for your peace of mind, why not have an evaluation to see if he needs some speech therapy? Your school district would take care of the therapy at no cost to you if he needs it. I think it's great that your doctor is cautious and it can't hurt to have it checked out. A speech delay alone isn't a indicative of autism--there are a lot of other symptoms to look for, but there could be a speech delay or other problem that you can nip in the bud before it gets any worse. Based on what you've said it doesn't sound like autism, but if he has any behavioral symptoms as well you don't want to ignore it and hope he grows out of it. And that's from a mom whose child _does_ have autism ;)

Good luck!
J.

I'd say maybe get a second opinion. I think I would!

I would have him evaluated, just in case. It doesn't sound like he's autistic, but I'm not a doctor. You should be able to have him evaluated for free through Early Intervention. If they say that he doesn't have any issues, then you can make an informed choice about whether or not to switch pediatricians.
I know that none of us want to hear that there is something wrong with our child. However, if there are other indicators, besides the delayed speech, then she might have a good reason to recommend further evaluation.

Get him tested anyway. If she is wrong then it is some worry and time put in the past and assurance your son is perfect. However, God forbid she is right and he is on the autism spectrum - early intervention is necessary for greater success. Delaying intervention could become detrimental to your child meeting his full potential. So prove her wrong or get your child help and asap. You get either best case or best treatment. Here's to hoping she is WAY wrong!!

Most likely your son is fine - mom usually knows best; however, it wouldn't be a bad idea to have a 2nd opinion. Are there other peds in the dr. office that you can schedule an appt with without having to switch your medical records, etc...
A few years ago when I took my 4th child/son into the peds office, the dr. started asking me some questions that puzzled me, like is he talking much? Can he follow commands? Does he give good eye contact? How does he play with cars? Does he line them up or does he play with them like they are cars? When asked these questions, I gave our ped dr. a very puzzled look? He laughed at me and said "your son is fine and shows NO signs of autism. We are diagnosing autism about once a week now." Those were his exact words. We haven't vaccinated our 4th or 5th child and our dr. felt we were likely not a high risk for autism.
My oldest is 15 and I remember our visits with the dr. being more focused on gross motor skills and following commands and language.
I believe the idea is if it's diagnosed early then you can get help early.

I would be defensive too, especially since he has met all of his milestones. Has your ped brought any of these concerns up before? I believe it is true that bilingual children do take a little more time before they really start to talk. Also, with your son home with you, he may just not feel the need to talk as much as he probably could, because he doesn't need to. I have seen both of these things affect my almost 5 year old nephew. At one time when he was about 3 1/2, his parents had to put him in daycare because his grandma wasn't able to watch him for awhile. It was like the switch had been flipped, and all of a sudden he was talking up a storm. If you can, maybe consider preschool for him, or try to get him involved in some playgroups or story hours. When he's out in the world he will need to develop ways to communicate his wants and needs, and he will find the words to do that. At home, you already know what he wants and needs, and so he probably doesn't feel pressed express himself through language as much. If this is the first time your ped has said or done something offputting to you or your son, I wouldn't rush to judgement based on this one encounter. She is right to show concern, but maybe could have handled her conversation with you about it a little better. Let her know that you value her insight, but will need a second opinion as you feel there are other factors at work here that may be impacting your son's language development. See if you can get a referral to another ped, and ask for other resources/literature that can help you know what to watch for and when to worry. Good luck mama!

I was always told that two languages slows down the language development, but isn't a problem at all in the long run. So I wouldn't be worried about it.

As long as you're not feeling defensive that anyone would say anything bad about your child, but truly think that her judgement is off, then go with your mommy instincts. It sounds like you've done some homework and are looking into what Autism means, so I think you're doing a good thing. If you really just don't like your pediatrician, get a new one. It is sooooo wonderful to have a doctor who you really like and trust!

both he doesnt sound austistic he sounds more like my son. if he is autistic which i doubt i havent been told yet. now here is my theroy.mine is smart but delayed more cause of hearing and speech. mine wont keep eye contact and we dont speak 2 languages. i think that has an effect on your son. he may have ear problems though i am an advacate for that after 2 kids who have had them. get him checked for fluid. mine uses his imagination and doesnt obsess either. my vote get a second opinion from a diffrent pediatrician and if they dont agree switch pediatricians. your gut instinct is usually more right than the docs. jmo

Get a second opinion. You alone have the greatest knowledge of your child and what is normal for him. However, Drs have knowledge about things that can be affecting your child and making life difficult for them. If some indications for Autism are there - early intervention is key and can make a difference, even reverse it. But if it's not, then you can go along you merry way without having any feelings of doubt or "maybe he does have autism" plaguing you. Just get a second opinion.

Regardless of whether or not he's on the autism spectrum I would just make an appointment with Early Intervention, if you have that in your area. They will not only evaluate him they will provide really helpful suggestions for improving your son's speech/verbal skills. You and your son will benefit from him having the ability to express himself better through speech, so really it's win/win.

My oldest son didn't start speaking until he was 3yrs old, and he went from nothing to full sentences and big words overnight. He's now 8.5, in gifted ed and is a very intelligent child. He also has mild Aspergers. He's very technical, smart and does well in school now.

And learning two languages is tough. Our daugther is almost 4 and adopted from Ukraine 5 months ago. She is JUST NOW picking up English and speaking her needs to us.She has a speech delay (she also has Cerebral Palsy) but it took her that long wit htwo languages to separate the two. In the long run, knowing two languages will help your son.

My mom always said I never talked until I was 3 years old and since then never shut up. Take your son to a child developmental service and have a speech therepist test him. As for Autisum, they can give you a heads up on that too. I do think that is the new disease.. a few years ago it was ADHD and before that it was something else. They get more funding for those diseases the more it is out there. Doctors get kickbacks from giving out more of certain brands of meds from the med companies. I would get a second opinion and even a third before I started getting totally upset. I had a very smart doctor who once said "Always listen to the mother, her intution will tell her when something is really wrong"

What I would do is have him evaluated. Usually your school district will do
it at no cost. Heck you have nothing to lose. If you are right and he is fine,
no harm done. If he does have a delay of sorts, you are on it early and he
can get some extra help. Better to be safe than sorry. If by chance he turns four, five and is behind you will never forgive yourself. Good luck.

Autism encompasses a wide, wide range of different social and behavior aspects. My daughter has SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder), which is on the high-functioning end of the Autism Spectrum. We knew from when our daughter was a baby that there was something wrong or different about her but couldn't get our Pediatrician to take us seriously. But I kept pushing and reading and looking for an explanation to explain why she was the way she was.

Finally, when she was five and right before she entered Kindergarten (she'd already been taking speech lessons through the school district since she was three, and was in Early Childhood when she was four and also taking OT/PT), my husband happened to be home sick one day and finally realized/discovered what I'd been trying to tell him all summer (I'd quit my job to stay home/start my own business): that there was something not quite right with our daughter. We took her to a Childhood Specialist (she still sees the same lady; our daughter's almost 11 years old), who confirmed what I'd begun to suspect; that she has SPD. When we told our pediatrician, it was like there was an "Aha/lighbulb moment," but then nothing. She gave us absolutely no help as to how to help our daughter. Everything we've done, it's been because I've advocated for her.

Sometimes, as parents, we're too close to our own children to see the differences that others can perceive who don't live with the child everyday. I think by federal law, school districts need to evaluate students if parents feel there is a need. We have a wonderful school district and have been blessed by an outstanding program for our daughter. Knowing what she has has helped us tremendously in knowing how to deal with her: I've read books on SPD and Autism, I've read books on how to help her with friends/socializing--because ultimately, I--and her dad--we're the ones who will actually help her help herself in learning how to deal with her "specialness" and any limitations she has (I don't call them limitations, either; I call them areas in which she needs to master coping skills and mechanisms to help her adjust and learn to live with her uniqueness).

She is now in the 5th grade, will be 11 years old in April, has a few very close and good friends, is in band playing the tenor sax, has been taking dance since she was 4 years old, loves learning/school/reading, and is a solid B student. I truly feel that it's been our help that has gotten her this far. She wants to go to college. I say she can do anything she wants to do, as long as she wants it badly enough to fight for it. Because ultimately, she has to want it badly enough to rally herself to do what she needs to do to accomplish her goal. We're giving her those skill sets so that she can do that.

I hope you follow up with the advice you've received and get some further testing for your son. There is nothing wrong with having a diagnosis; there is something wrong if there's a problem or an issue and it's not addressed or corrected. Your child is depending on you to help him. He might not have autism; or he might. Or he might have a totally different and unrelated problem. You won't know, though, if you don't get some testing done.

Have you had his ears/hearing checked, to make sure he doesn't have a hearing issue and that's the reason why he's not talking? Or has a speech therapist checked to make sure his tongue and everything is working correctly for him to make the correct sounds and facial movements? There could be other factors preventing him from speaking; it doesn't have to necessarily be "autism." Your school district would be the first place I would look into for help/testing (they have to look at children starting at the age of three; I took my daughter for preschool/pre-Kindergarten testing). From there, if there are any issues with speech/ears, you might get sent to see a Pediatrician ENT.

Good luck.

I am betting she is wrong. It is a well known fact that kids learning two languages at once at first have a delay and then at a slightly older age are suddenly speaking great in both languages. But don't be angry at your pediatrician - she is just trying to look out for your son's well being. It's her job. We had a little buddy in my son's preschool who was growing up learning both English and Chinese (His mom spoke only in Chinese to him and his dad only in English). At age 3 he did not say much at all. By Kindergarten you could not tell the difference between him and the other English speaking kids. AND he knows Chinese! Lucky boy!