Payment for Good Grades

I would say that maybe you could take her for a special dinner at her favorite restaurant or something like that, as opposed to simply buying her something. That way, you go out together as a family to "celebrate", but it isn't necessarily a monetary reward. Maybe let her invite a friend along too? My Mom would always take us to McDonald's or for ice cream or something like that when we got good grades. I don't see anything wrong with that! Have fun and congrats to your daughter!

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I really don't like the idea of paying kids for good grades, however I am all for celebrating accomplishments. Your daughter escentially set a goal and worked hard to acheive that goal. The grade was no doubt a huge accomplishment. I would plan some sort of small celebration for her. take her to dinner, for ice cream, a movie. something. Or you can get super creative an make a dinner themed to "A" or serve food relative to her subjects. OR just her favorite meal but add stremers and confetit! Have fun with it and celebrate (not pay out) =0)

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Since she is into learning, is there a museum exhibit or other such thing she would like to see? Perhaps you could take her to it, with one of her friends. (And congratulations to her on her straight As! It doesn't mean she has it made, but it's great to reach a goal one has set!)

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I think that there is nothing wrong with rewarding kids for good grades. After all when we are in the work place as adults, we are also motivated by rewards. We have to work hard to earn raises, bonus's and promotions, and IMO rewarding kids for their grades, be it monetarily or whatever, teaches them that the harder they work the more return for that work.

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Doing something special is NOT paying for good grades. Not sure where anybody is equating the 2 with eachother. Paying for good grades is arranged BEFORE the grades occur as an incentive for getting them. Doing something afterwards is a reward for a stellar achievement...one that she has worked her butt off for. I say do it...take her out to a nice dinner, do a day at the salon...whatever she likes.

And I don't think you have to worry at all about this taking away her motivation...it won't. It will do nothing but make her feel great that her parents have acknowledged her hard work towards a goal that she has acheived finally. Making you guys proud is probably a big motivator for her I would guess.

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No definitey not a stupid question. You are proud of her and want to reward her. My sister and I always did well in school, All A's many times. We were very hard working students. My parents were proud of us and in turn rewarded us for our good grades. When I was a kid Showbiz (now Chuck E Cheese) was the big thing. So if I got all A's I could either have $20 or go to Showbiz. Of course I always chose Showbiz LOL. If we got mostly A's and some B's they gave us a certain $$ amount per A & B, etc. It was a good motivator to do well and worked for our family. My 8 year old is in 2nd grade and just started getting letter grades this year. He is smart and determined, and has so far gotten all A's the first two six weeks. We rewarded him with $10 each time. Report cards come out in a week and it looks like he may have all A's again for the 3rd six weeks. I will then reward him for All A's for the semester. May be $, may be a special trip somewhere, not sure. Just find what works for you and your family.

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Both of our kids brought home strait A report cards yesterday and we took them out for a special treat of ice cream after dinner.
I don't pay my kids to get good grades but when they do , I do reward them with a special treat like an outing or ice cream , it does not down play them working hard for it and does not take away the self motivation.

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No question is stupid, and this, like most things is a personal choice.

I am NOT against paying for grades, but in your case I probably would not go that way since she has always been self motivated.....

My opinion, in your case, I would NOT pay for grades. Since you have not paid her up until now and all the sudden pay for straight A's I think this could encourage being a little too anal about her grades. If she is self motivated, great! But in todays world with pressure on kids, and especially girls, I worry about teaching our kids to worry too much about perfection.

However, I think a little celebration is in order for a job well done! Why not go out to dinner in celebration and let her pick the restaurant. That's what we would do.

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Like you, I am against paying for good grades. I figure it's my girls' job to get good grades, and I expect it of them. But that's not to say you can't show appreciation for a job well done. We will usually go out to dinner at a restaurant of the kids' choosing when they bring home a really great report card.

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I also dont believe in "paying for good grades" you are expected to bring home good grades in my house. (I have a friend who actually pays cash for A's- NO NO NO) But we do celebrate the hard work they put in. It may be a ice cream or a treat out with mom, or fishing with dad. Nothing over the top or expensive- just something to say good job.

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There is a difference between celebrating and rewarding. When people get an award or a promotion they go out and celebrate so I see nothing wrong with it. Take her out to her favorite restaurant or something to celebrate how all of her hard work paid off.

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My daughter sounds very similar, although older, than yours. Has always received good grades and is extremely self-motivated. I have never had to push the issue because she is such a self-starter. She knows we expect her to do her best, whatever that may be, and is her own worst critic. I have never rewarded high grades with either of my kids, but on the other hand, I don't punish them if they fall short, as long as I know they're trying. Simple heartfelt praise is usually enough to motivate them (I know it doesn't work for everyone, though). I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you're not already in the habit of rewarding for grades, I wouldn't go overboard now - tell her you're proud of course, but also emphasize how proud she must feel for herself to have set and achieved a goal. I just think if you make TOO big a deal of it this time, she will be crushed if she doesn't get all A's next time. I hope I'm making sense. I understand how proud you are of her - I'm sure you want to shout it from the rooftops! But I do think a little restraint is in order - a small treat perhaps, but nothing over the top. As I've learned from my own daughter over the years, for kids like these, achievement is its own reward.

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Since your daughter is so self-motivated (lucky you!), there is no need to pay her. I don't love the idea of paying for good grades, but in your case it is not necessary! Treat her to a manicure with you, or take her out to her favorite restaurant, or buy her something she has been wanting. Forget the cash, and congrats on having such a smart and motivated daughter!

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Check out this great utube on what motivates us.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6XAPnuFjJc&feature=re...

Enjoy!
Megan

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I agree that what works for one childs motivation may not help another. With our children some we paid or got a special night out with dinner, movie and could bring a friend but the best thing we did for one child is frame his report card and hung it on the wall for all to see. We have 5 children and they were wise enough to know that it didn't mean one upmanship against them and all got to show pride in the childs accomplishment.

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In the past we've rewarded with Chuck E Cheese, Moody Gardens, Incredible Pizza, Bowling, etc. We usually let them choose. Usually at the end of the year for the bigger rewards. I've done the 'girls' day' also. We get pedicures together or our hair done.

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I don't think it's stupid at all. I don't think I would pay her because she is doing this for herself, because it's what makes her feel good about her. I would, however, definitely acknowledge it by doing something special with her to celebrate. Let her pick an outing or a favorite restaurant for dinner or a movie or something, but definitely celebrate and let her know how extremely proud you are of her and acknowledge all her hard work! By the way, tell her congratus from the moms at Mamapedia!!!!

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I would totally celebrate with her! Let her pick an activity that she wants to do to celebrate. It's a success and we should always celebrate our sucesses (whether it's good grades, a new job, entrance to a college we wanted, etc.). But celebrate as a family :).

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No, it won't take it away. No, it's not a stupid question. Just tell her you are celebrating her hard work. Have fun!!

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You say you want to celebrate, why not let her choose a restaurant to go out to eat or choose a family activity (eg. Go to the zoo). I guess this could be still seen as paying her off but it's a win win - she gets something she likes and you get family time.

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I wouldn't give money, if that is what you are thinking. Instead, think of something you could to as a special "celebration" treat. Take her out for an ice cream, or whatever you think would be the most exciting way for her to celebrate. Maybe even make up a card or certificate in which you say how excited and proud you are that she made this achievement.

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Our daughter is pretty self motivated as far as her grades. She knows school is her "job" and it is her "job" to do well. We do not expect all A's but of course we love that.

She is a co captian of the cheer squad and play violin in the orchestra. A big motivation for the cheer is that she is held to a higher standard and she THRIVES on responsibility.

We have always rewarded her with money for grades. She is a responsible kid, mature for her age and is a wise spender/saver/shopper.

I asked her about this post and how she felt and she said she didn't see it as us paying for her grades, she viewed it as us just celebrating her success with money. She said she does not feel like it is "owed" to her.

Even with good kids who are motivated well, it is nice to recognize their efforts and keep that motivation going..

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