Part 2 of "What Would You Do?" from 7/16... RESULT

Wow, she has some serious mental/emotional problems. Wow just wow. I'm sorry that you have to deal with that, it is emotionally draining (I know). My therapist has taught me that you listen to what is being said and if it is something that you don't like (for me family related, not for the workplace) just let it go in one ear and out the other, to "build a wall" between you and her and don't let her break it down. I hope that you understand that....

Sounds like you need to do some reading about being the daughter of a narcissistic mother. My husband struggled with a narcissistic mother. As my MIL, I fortunately had the ability to let her bizarre comments roll off my back. Narcissistic people make everything about them and you need to study up on their methods so you can learn to ignore the "button pushing". Don't respond to her complaints, just keep the response "cheerful and stupid": "I had such a lovely time at the party and I was happy you were there to spend some additional time with my kids. Isn't it amazing how quickly they grow and change at this age."

End of response...

Kris is right. I have a FIL that likely has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Best thing you can do is not engage at all -- if they can't get positive attention then they will provoke negative attention. Here's a site to check out: http://narcissisticpersonalitydisorder.org/

I'm glad you had a good time!!

If you can't get joint counseling with her - let it go...don't reply to her. If you do - suggest that the two of you find a counselor or therapist to talk to to work this out.

you two obviously have a ton of issues - someone needs to help you two sort out what is the root of this problem and help you two get over it...

I'm sorry that your mom is acting like an insecure school girl - but if you retort to her e-mail you aren't helping her and you aren't helping yourself.

You guys need to find a counselor and get this sorted out so you can have a healthy relationship...this is NOT going to bode well for your daughters or your future....

GOOD LUCK!

Let it go, let it go.... You're mom is trying to drag you back into another argument. She's toxic. Ditto what the others say about the Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

All I'd respond back with is: "It was nice to see you there, too. We had such a great time." You could make other -generalized- comments about the party, but do not engage her in anything you disagree. You'll just set yourself up to argue with her since she will never agree with you or see you're viewpoint. She'll probably also never tell you that she's sorry for anything.

And if you want to invite her to the baby's 1st bday (not sure I would!) simply end the email with a question as to what days would work for her so you can be sure to plan on a day when she can come.

Best of luck. My mother is like this too.

Where is my violin when I need it?? Seriously, your mother is attempting to do that guilt-trip thing, that all mother's use occasionally. However, I would say this is extreme. I would not reply to her, and I would not contact her. Especially right now when it is still fresh, and you most likely are still quite upset. It is never a good idea to discuss these kinds of things when both parties are still upset. Words can't be taken back.

I had something similar happen with my father. He never really pays attention to my son when we visit. He is constantly on his laptop, playing his piano, or watching t.v. He has a hard time listening as well, and often tunes things out. When my son got sick once when we were visiting him, he stated that he didn't know what to do. ( my father is a doctor, and knows what to do) He then left to go to dinner with his wife. After this incident, I have not visited him. I also did not contact him for awhile afterwards. It isn't worth arguing with someone who will not change, and who does not listen nor think anything is wrong with them.

Do what you would do with your children (b/c she's acting like a child)- ignore her "bad behavior". Don't acknowledge the email, don't call, don't respond in any way. The next time you see her, but cordial and polite- continue to include her in "family invites", but don't engage her in the argument further. She's looking for your attention and she's getting it!

You need to be the one to bring this "game" to an end...as Kris has said...you need to just let it roll off your back. You aren't going to change her and all you are doing is upsetting yourself and letting it affect your family...let it go...smile sweetly...be as good daughter as you can be...and then move on.

She is loving the attention of ticking you off. simple answer, don't respond! If she has a problem with you not responding to her negative comments, then tell her you're too busy with your kids and you didn't know how to answer. I mean, what does she want to hear??? That you're a bad person because you're not giving her the "play by play". This strikes a cord with me, because my mom USED to do this until I set her straight. "I" stopped allowing it and things have improved! Good luck...Mom drama sucks, and it usually stems from THEIR guilt for being a less than great parent!

EDIT: I read the other comments AFTER I posted, and Kris and I are on the same page!