Parents with Autism Spectrum Kids (Or Kids with Quirks like Hand Flapping).

he's stimming, he can't help it, don't shame him or make him feel bad, it's very likely he doesn't even realize he's doing it. i have an autistic child as well, he twists his shirt. come up with a hand signal that YOU give him when you notice he's doing it that cues him to stop. my child is almost 8 years old and i have not been able to stop his stimming. some days are worse than others, you've just gotta learn to roll with it...

I have a 13 year old son with PDD NOS and I also run a social skills program for children on the spectrum. Flapping is really typical for children on the Spectrum and is a way that they are physically processing all the stimulation coming from the outside as well as emotions on the inside. If your son is say under 7, I probably would not even worry about it right now.

When he is older and better able to communicate his emotions and regulate it will get better. At that time he will also be able to understand the concept that others are having thoughts about his behavior and that he wants them to have good thoughts about him. This will take some time and effort on your part and on the part of his treatment team (speech, social skills, OT, etc.)

I recommend the Social Dectectives book at Michelle Garcia Winner's website http://www.socialthinking.com which explains these basic concepts in a fun way for kids. I am using this book and the Superflex books in my program and find them very helpful.

All the best,

K. D., MA
http://www.socialwhizkids.com

I agree with the other mom you've just got to roll with it. If it's possible get him a fidget toy so he can mess with it instead of stimming in that way. Stimming will happen, try to find other ways for him to channel it if he even realizes he does it all. My son hand flaps, squeals and dances on his tip toes when he gets excited. I see no reason to stop the stims unless they are literally hurting someone else.

Have you considered the biomedical side? Stimming is often a symptom of yeast overgrowth from food not being digested properly.

I would suggest that you consult an OT. They may be able to help him with a replacement behavior, but he needs some kind of stimulation at that point, or he would not be doing it, so you are likely to not like the replacement either, so it is likely that you have underestimated how many needs he has, and you need to expolore the sensory aspect of autism. Do you have a full evaluation from a Developmental Pediatrican? Cognative behavioral therapy, Play therapy, social skills groups (I assume this is what he is getting) educational interventions, occupational therapy, psychiatric care and medical management are all important aspects of Autism care. Most high functioning kids do not need Applied Behavioral Anaylis, but they could get it I suppose. An IEP for school is probably in order, at the very least for behavior and speech therapy, and I would bet OT.

There is very little you can do to keep him from being rideculed if he is school aged. Even if you get passed the flapping, there will be novel glitches that will make him vulnerable to saying or doing something that will draw negative attention, and you just can't predict it or prevent it. I won't sugar coat it for you, kids with ASD get made fun of.

One thing I think you are doing right is telling him when he does something that makes him look odd. Kids with ASD don't know what looks odd, so they do need to learn it some how. Teachers are very afraid to tell kids at school when they do things that draw negative attention and bullying, but they really should be explaining how their own behavior affects how they experience life (in a nice, private way, of course.) I would enlist his teachers, the school counselor, and the school speech therapist to help you with this task, and ask them to pull him aside and explain how what he is doing looks to others and make this part of the IEP (I would say odd instead of weird.)

Another suggestion to you is that you ask the school for a behavior plan that includes how to handle the flapping in a positive way so that if he were to accidentally hurt another child at school, you have a set way to handle it that will keep him out of the principals office for a zero tollerance behavior. Hitting another child while hand flapping would be a manifestation of his disablity, but you don't ever want to be in the position of arguing this after an incident, be proactive and request the service prior to any incident ever happening, and get the assistance of your school in dealing with the behavior with positive interventions and supports.

This is assuming that your son is young and in elementary school. If he is still in preschool or younger, then you should be accessing more therapies that will help him with these behaviors, and if you don't have that full evaluation, get it ASAP!

M.

My brother (whom I helped raise from birth) was diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome around age 4 or 5, and has always flapped. Always when he was excited, anxious, or frustrated. He very (VERY) gradually grew out of it, and now at age 21, he rarely does it. Unfortunately for him, my mom did not seek the resources that were readily available to help "streamline" him, so I know there were no outside therapies or anything of the sort that helped with this in our situation (not to say that it wouldn't be helpful). I think he just realized very slowly that no one else around him did this, and he replaced the flapping with pacing.

Have you spoken to someone a psychologist who specilizes in ABA (applied behavior analysis) I believe one of the main purposes of ABA is to help a person substitute one issue for another type of stimulate that is less obvious. he maybe getting an outlet from the hand flapping but there may be ways that he can get the same type of outlet from some another other source.
My son is autistic however he does not have the hand flapping. If he did I would also try to help him not do it for the same reason you mentioned.

I don't really have any ideas to help, but I will tell you that as a child my best friend's brother flapped his hands when excited. I am pretty sure that he stopped by the time he was in first or second grade, but before starting school it was a pretty rampant joke among family and friends. Anyway, the "kid" is now attending UCSanta Barbara to be a marine biologist, and really seems to be doing awesome and seems very happy. Hope that reassures you a bit.

Hi A.,
My son does a lot of hand flapping, jumping and toe walking, he was diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder, Speech Delay and some mild Developmental Delays. While these behaviors are typically associated with autism they do occur in nonautistic children with sensory problems as well. These behaviors can give a hyposensitive child sensory stimulation he craves to wake up his nervous system, while it can calm a hypersensitive child by helping him block out the external environment. These behaviors also release beta-endorphins in the body, which provide pleasure. While you may find it upsetting and socially unacceptable, there's no practicle reason why hand flapping must be prevented unless it interferes with participating in activities such as academics and play. A child with sensory issues may hand flap every so often because it's absorbing, relaxing, and provides a lot of visual input. A child with speech-language delays who hand flaps may stop doing so when he develops the words for what he wants to say. Many times I was embarrassed when out in public because people were staring at my son, trying to figure out what was wrong with him. However I learned to accept his quirk, stopped being embarrased and just smiled. He's doing nothing wrong. He's going to Pre-K this fall so thru an IEP he will be getting speech and OT, which I hope will help him with the flapping. I've been trying to get him to clap his hands or hug himself instead. Also I provide deep pressure and proprioceptive input into the shoulders, arms and hands via sensory diet activities. Sometimes I just distract him with a toy or an activity that requires him to use his hands. So don't worry if it looks weird just accept it and smile and give him a big hug he's doing what he has to do to get by for now. You'll see that if you accept it others will also and won't even give it a second look. Wishing you and your son all the best, hang in there I know first hand how tough it can be.

I agree with Bernadette - sounds like she and I are raising the same kiddo. My almost 3-yr-old son has mild SPD, and speech delay and and low muscle tone. We are working with a speech therapist, a PT and an OT. He stims by hand flapping, twirling, running in a tight circle with his head tilted to the side, and crashing into a mountain of pillows or my bed. I also distract him by asking him to clap his hands or by giving him a toy that can be manipulated. If that isn't enough for him, asking him to tap his knees (or sing/act out "Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes" or "If You're Happy and You Know It") or to jump in place while saying the alphabet or counting to ten.

Incidentally, when he occasionally hand flaps when we're out in public and someone takes notice, I either smile at them and move on, or say casually "Are you flapping your wings like puffins at the aquarium?"

I recommend reading "Raising a Sensory-Smart Child" by Lindsey Biel. It's been an invaluable resource for our family - both sets of grandparents are now reading their own copies, too.

I have a 6 year old girl with high-functioning autism/Asperger's. What your son is doing is called stimming. It's self-stimulating behavior, and it calms him down. As others have mentioned, occupational therapy (OT) can work with replacing his stims with other, more subtle ones.

C.
http://littlebitquirky.blogspot.com/2010/07/12-most-commo...