Parents of ADHD Children.

Updated on November 06, 2012
A.M. asks from Harrisburg, PA
24 answers

Please, if you do not have any experience with ADHD stop here, I do not need your opinon or nasty remark. I have a 5 year old son with ADHD and he takes adderall xr. When he dosn't take the medication he is all over. He can't pay attention in school and acts out. But he is much more loveable and his personality comes out. Today I forgot to give him his adderall. At church he could not sit still, he kept running around and shouting diring sunday school disrupting class. Right now he can't sit still. He is running around shouting, talking about toilets and p****** p****. But he is more affectionate and caring. When he is taking the adderall he doesnt talk much or smile but he can sit and enjoy a movie or video game. Anyone else have this experience? Dad wants him off the meds, but he is not home much as he works a lot so it is mostly on me. I just don't know what to do. Any other experiences?

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So What Happened?

Another thing is when not on the meds we worrie about our younger son because 5 yo gets so wild we are afraid he is gonna hurt his brother. For example just a few mins ago he found one of his older sisters necklaces and tried to wrap it around brother's neck. He doesn't realize he may hurt him he thinks its all fun and games and laughs as he does this stuff.

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B.

answers from Augusta on

Time for a med change.
if it's doing that to him he's not on the right one.
My daughter is 10 and ADHD. We've gone through several meds before finding one that works for us. She does better on short acting focilin than on anything else we tried. one at breakfast, one at lunch at school.

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S.R.

answers from El Paso on

Sounds like the meds may be slightly too high. I don't have a child with ADHD, but I remember the students that I had when I was teaching. You could always tell when the meds were being adjusted because the kid would be off the wall one day, then almost just a warm body in a seat the next day. So I second seeing about adjusting the meds or trying a different one. Talk to the doc!

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S.B.

answers from Philadelphia on

I read an article recently about a doctor who had adhd patients run a mile every morning (I don't know how old the patients were) by the end of the year most of the patients were able to go completely off the meds. (They reduced the meds slowly & the kids had to run everyday). You may want to look for more info about this.

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C.V.

answers from Columbia on

Hi. My 9 year old is on Adderall XR as well. He started with Strattera, then Vyvanse and Intuniv, and now Adderall XR and Intuniv.

I would say this: Some drugs work better than others. Strattera didn't work for him, the Vyvanse and Intuniv did work for his disruptive behavior, but didn't help his focus. Switching to Adderall XR was best for us. He's doing great on it.

But that doesn't mean that it's right for your son.

Talk to your doctor about making a change. It might be that his dosage is too high. Perhaps he could reduce it by 5mg? Also, adding Strattera or Intuniv (both are non-stimulant meds that have to build up over time, but work for 24 hours) might help when he comes off his stimulant meds. Nothing seems to work as well as the stimulant meds, but those do help in the evenings/mornings.

That's my advice. Before you take him off completely, talk to your pediatician about reducing. I know for us, it has really helped us to get our son back.

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

Yep. He needs new meds or a different dose.

Here's the thing: on the right meds he should still TOTALLY be himself. Including spontaneous gestures of affection in the right place (meaning he won't randomly hug / invade the space of a classmate, or when you're cariying boiling water... But will in 'right' circumstance.

Here's the thing about meds... They ALL have side effects. It's often a matter of 'picking your side effects', but nearly ALL of them (80+) at last count) "take care of" the worst of the irritating aspects of ADHD. So with that as a baseline MOST people try 2-6 different meds to find the one they like best. Because they all feel different. Like finding a favorite bra, versus the one that keeps poking you, but is your neighbors favorite bra.

No matter which med, he SHOULD BE HIMSELF, in fact MORE himself on than off.

This one sounds like a bad fit or s'okay but not great fit. Know that dosing can be huge. Even just a smidge too high OR too low can really mess with you. So even when you've got PERFECT, expect to change the dose as he grows. Less of a weight thing, and more of a @ puberty onset, and @ end of puberty, and @ transition from school to college & @ transition from college to work. Sometimes at puberty one has to totally change horses (a lot harder for girls who get pregnant and have menopause ... We get shafted in this 'hormones affecting neurology' effect.

------

Just as a side note: A med that changes nothing personality wise for one group of people (Jo W & her fam) will STOMP on the personality of another group (Adderall stomps on my personality... I become totally Stepfordy), and CHANGE the personality of a third group (adderage is the nickname for this group who become totally angry & aggressive on Adderall). Neurology is very very quirky. Neurochemistry is often similar in families, but even that's not guaranteed. But the RIGHT med will not, will not, will not stomp on or change your / his personality.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Ask him these questions....

If son was taking this medication for seizures would dad still want him off the meds?

If son was a diabetic would dad still want him off meds?

ADHD is a chemical/neuron medical issue that is in the brain. It is not a choice that the child is making. It is a biological medical illness/diagnosis.

Let son go all weekend without meds when dad is going to be watching him. Accidentally forget where you put his meds. Then go shopping for Christmas or something. Stay gone from noon until after bedtime. Dad will have the responsibility of feeding lunch, entertaining him all afternoon, cooking dinner with son running amok, then trying to settle him down for bath time and then to bed. Do it again all day the next day, better yet go to a women's retreat or something.

Then on Monday evening ask dad how the weekend went, how did son do? If he noticed how out of control son was he might feel differently.

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K.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

We put our son on Adderall XR when he was 5 also. The first night he was on it, he built a stack of blocks, which he'd never done without getting distracted. So we though "OMG! Look at that! This stuff really is helping him!!". So we ignored the signs that slowly appeared over the next few months - he stopped eating and sleeping (had to put him on Remeron to counteract that), he started getting tics (he now has full blown Tourettes), be became very aggressive and mean (where before he was the sweetest kid ever), and when he wasn't aggressive and mean, he was like a zombie. But he WAS able to sit still in his pre-school class, so the docs were still pushing the Adderall.

Finally, one day, the doc decided that my son had anxiety in addition to all his other stuff and wanted to put him on Paxil. Poor 5 yr old kid was on Adderall, Zyrtec (for his allergies, and which, I suspect contributed to the aggressiveness), and Remeron, and NOW the doc wanted to put him on Paxil. I'd finally had enough and took him off the meds and changed doctors - this protocol just wasn't working.

A few days after we took him off Adderall, his pre-school teachers were SHOCKED when my son smiled and laughed - they'd never seen him do that. And even I realized that I hadn't seen my son happy for almost a year. The Adderall had completely wiped out his fun, happy, sweet personality and replaced it with a mean, and aggressive, or totally zoned out, kid.

Now it's many years later, my son is now 15. He takes Intuniv, which he's been on since he was 6 (it used to be Tenex, Intuniv is the extended release form). It's a much better fit for him. It helps him concentrate, but doesn't take away his personality.

If you find something isn't working, there are many medications out there which might be a better fit. Unfortunately with ADHD, what works well for one won't necessarily work well for another. It's trial and error. And sometimes, when something DOES work, after a while, it stops working. It's just the way it is. I think we got lucky with the Tenex/Intuniv. It works for my son and there are NO side effects that we've noticed. We tried Strattera a couple of years ago (on the recommendation of his doc) and it was a disaster (like the Adderall). So for now, we stick with the Intuniv

I hope you find what works for your son.

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J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

I think you are mistaking out of control behavior as happiness. What I mean is running around being loud, not in control is not happy, it is out of control. I have ADHD as does all my kids, it may look like happy funny from the outside but it doesn't feel good on the inside.

My older two were on Ritalin when they were in grade school and hated it, they said it took their personality away. They were on Adderall as teens and said it changed nothing about them but allowed them to focus. I started taking Adderall six years ago when I returned to college, I can assure you it changes nothing about your personality, it just helps you focus.

If you think about how you would feel if you were not in control of your mind wouldn't you want stability? I think the meanest thing a parent can do to a child with ADHD is deny them the meds they need to at least have a chance to function like a normal kid.

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J.B.

answers from Boston on

Try a new med. Adderall works really well for some people but for others, it has a reputation of triggering rage (its nickname is Adderage) or turning them into robots. There are so many out there, there's no reason to not try something else.

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T.S.

answers from Washington DC on

Have you talked to his doctor about a DIFFERENT medication? It isn't an issue of Adderall or nothing. My son was on Adderall for two years. Like your son, it really worked for his hyperactivity and inattention and made HIM feel like he was in control of himself. However, he could be grumpy and irritable as well. He was good, but not fun (does that make sense?)

Anyway, he has since switched to Concerta (Ritalin family) and it seems to be a nice middle ground.

The psychiatrist (not his original psych... we've moved since he started medication) said that Adderall works better for MORE kids, so they often start there, but the grumpy thing is not uncommon. Some people call it "MAdderall" for that reason.

TALK to the doctor about CHANGING his medication before you throw in the towel.

HTH
T.

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M.B.

answers from Tampa on

There's lots of meds out there and maybe adderal isn't a good fit for him. My son takes several meds and he's always himself, we'll a better version of. He's still spunky and sweet:) I'd talk to the dr about your concerns. Good Luck!!

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J.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

Hi J..

My nephew is the same. He's 6. Started Adderall this summer. His Mom said the exact same thing. She missed his smile and his "normal" spirit and twinkle in his eye. She took him off his meds for one week - just to see how he did at school. At the end of the week his teacher sent home some samples of his work. One sample was him on his meds (he was able to complete the page, it was legible, and correct). The other sample was off his meds and it was just a big scribble.

It broke my SIL's heart a little, but she agreed to put him back on his meds.

I agree with others who suggest talking to his doctor about dosage. My nephew's dosage has changed a few times since July. They are also looking at other med's (they got a second opinion from a new doctor last month). They haven't yet changed his med's, but are looking at all the alternatives.

Good luck!

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

I have an ADHD daughter who is NOT on meds (her case is fairly mild) but from what I have heard (from the doctor/psych and other ADHD parents) and read is that is takes some time to find just the right drug and dosage, and that sometimes changes and adjustments are necessary as the child grows and develops.
Please talk to your doctor, maybe you can try something else, or adjust the dosage.

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A.J.

answers from Philadelphia on

My son is 7 and we had a hell of a year last year as he started to fall behind in school. After a lot of testing (we paid for because he was in a catholic school) and a few doctors appoitments I was informed he had a hig IQ and ADHD. More ADD but apparently it all falls in the same catagory anymore. Anyway I did NOT want him "doped" up on meds and going through schhol like a zombie which I see a lot of kids are like. Our doctor agreed and told me that there are a lot of different meds and when you find the right one the child isnt a zombie and is a better for of themselves. SO we went with it. She suggested Daytrana right off the bat and let me tell you it is awesome! It is a patch worn on the hip and you control when it goes on and when you take it off. He is such a wonderful little boy and this takes the edge off of him. He is still happy and silly. I will also say he will be on tis med for almost a year and we have not changed the does he is still on 10mg... so it isnt like other meds that you have to increase often/The only thing i find is that he is more emotional, he crys when he doesnt get his way. But I am not sure if that is just his age or his meds. He also doesnt take the meds on the weekends because he is able to get out and blow some energy! So I would suggest maybe looking into a different med.

Great luck!

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M.S.

answers from Chicago on

Maybe his dosage is to high? Maybe try a new medicine? My son uses Concerta. We really have no negative side affects? Recently, he started acting a bit more negative and seemed more disrespective to adults. So, we upped his dosage and now he is doing great again. My son is just like himself minus the impulse problems and hyperactivity. Sounds like your little guy definitly needs the meds, but this one may not be working for him.

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N.1.

answers from Pittsburgh on

My son is 6 and was just recently diagnosed with ADHD. We didn't want to put him on meds either, but we had no choice. He is out of control ALL the time. He is in kindergarten and has been suspended 3 times. He was on the adderall xr for two weeks and it did NOTHING for him. We just switched to Concerta. I don't know how long your son has been on the adderall, but maybe you could talk with his doctor and try another med...?? I didn't read any of the other responses, I'm just kind of throwing in my "2 cents." I don't know if this helps, but I wanted you to know you're not alone.... : )

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P.M.

answers from Harrisburg on

J.,

I feel your pain. It is so hard and so heartbreaking at times to have a child with ADHD. It's hard to watch them struggle and flounder without the meds, but it's just as hard to watch them deal with the side effects of the meds too. If the medicine is the proper one, side effects should be minimized though. It doesn't sound like your son is on the right medicine, or perhaps not the right dose. I see you live in Harrisburg. When our son was originally diagnosed, we took him to a doctor in Hershey who specializes in ADHD. He was EXCELLENT. It was worth the trip. If you want information on him, send me a PM.

My son was diagnosed when he was about 10. We've been through a series of meds for him. He's been on Concerta and Adderall and Vyvanse.
Currently, he uses Daytrana. It's a patch and when it's taken off, the meds are out of his system in about an hour. That way, it's a little more regulated than taking a tablet which stays in your system longer. We've found it to be the best for him.

Like your husband, we would love for our son to be medicine free, but it's not always HIS best interest. When our son was younger, we didn't give him a choice about it. (Because not only were the meds in the best interest for him, they were in the best interest of the entire family.) As he has matured, we let him decide on a daily basis whether nor not to use meds.
We are very open and have frank discussions with him about managing impulses when not on the meds, but your son is pretty young for this so I'm not sure he'd be able to reign in his impulses yet.

Additionally, my son also had a fair amount of counseling when he was younger. The counselor we saw was also in Hershey. Let me know if you want any more information.

Good luck in your journey...yes...it's a journey...constantly changing.

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J.J.

answers from Allentown on

I am strongly against meds for my kids. I believe behavioral changes are better for long term health and happiness. Behavioral changes are obviously more difficult to implement and take longer to get the desired result but in the end I feel it is a more permanent fix than using meds. I am speaking as a parent of a child with adhd and as an adult who has had adhd my whole life. It runs in my family, and most of the people who had it were never medicated for it. The ones that were have had more issues and problems in adulthood. For myself I had to learn to self regulate, and it wasn't easy. Things would drive me batty as a child and even a teen. But eventually i learned to cope and I did it all without help. As did my mother and uncle. A cousin was medicated for it and had problems through most of his childhood and into adulthood. Now this being said, if you and his teachers can commit to behavioral changes it won't be easy but in the end it will worth it. If that is not for you, and meds are what you need for him at this time in his life, then you need to look at changing his meds. He should not be behaving that differently. So either way you need to have a med eval. For me I would take him off, but I can't tell you what is right for you and your situation. But please get him re-evaled for meds as he should not be acting that differently.

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A.C.

answers from Washington DC on

You may need to adjust the strength of the adderal or try something different. It sometimes takes a few tries before you find the right med and strength.

We have my son on Ritalin LA. We started at the lowest dose then adjusted till we found the right strength that did what we needed without going overboard. We just recently changed it to the 40 mg strength.

My son was diagnosed at 6, he was also diagnosed with anxiety and pdd-nos at that time. Then at 10 the pdd-nos was changed to asperger syndrome.

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K.B.

answers from Philadelphia on

I have 5 kids, 4 sons and 1 daughter. My sons are ages 25, 17, 8 and 8. My daughter is 8.

My 25 year old son, ADHD and ODD (oppositional defiance disorder). His ODD was the main problem and still is today. Years ago they still used Ritilin mainly and Adderall had just came out. He became too acustom to Ritilin so they switched him to Adderall at age 13. He was in and out of counseling, you name it. By age 13 he refused his meds so I'd put them in his mouth and watch him swallow them. Still no improvement. Come to find out he'd go to the bus stop and throw up his meds every morning. At this point he refused everything as his ODD was horrid. Diagnosed age 7 with ADHD, age 10 ODD.

My 17 year old son was diagnosed with mild ADD at age 7. He's been on Concerta for years. He has a concentration and organization problem. He's the easy one, lol.

My triplet daughter is fine.

One triplet son, age 8, has had problems since the womb. He's been aggressive among other things. We knew he'd be getting a diagnosis but had to wait until he was old enough. He started kindergarten when he turned 6 and sure enough, day one was full of problems. We couldn't get a full diagnosis because of our insurance but the doc and I knew that he had ADHD so we started medication, Concerta 18mg, later 27mg. We've been struggling since then to find someplace who takes our insurance. We've lived in 2 places and then bought a home and found a place in this area that can take our insurance. They're so backed up we have to wait until January because he was flagged for needing a larger test because he's suspected to have possible ODD like his oldest brother. He has been a hand full.

Our other triplet son, 8, was suspected of having OCD as a toddler and of course you have to wait and see as they get older. Sure enough, he was diagnosed with ADHD because of suddenly slowed down and started dazing off in school. And he has OCD because of what's going on mostly at home. He is on Concerta 18mg but it doesn't seem to be helping as much as it should for his ADHD so we're going back to the doc to discuss raising his dosage. We're looking for a counselor to help with his OCD and he sees the school counselor for it as well.

They put the younger boys on Concerta because usually if one sibling does well on a med the others will as well.

With your son, it sounds like he's either on a too high of a dose or he's on the wrong medication for him. I'd go to the doc and review his medication. Have the teacher fill out forms to let the doc know how he's doing on this med, and fill one out yourself as well. Sometimes the first med is the one fit, but sometimes kids have to try a second or even a third med until they hit the right fit for them. So to me, it's either too high a dose or not the right one. Make sure your evaluation was done by a psych doc which takes a good 1-3 hours for a full diagnosis. Do not accept a diagnosis for your regular doc just sitting in the office. If he gets a full diagnosis there may also be another aspect going on as well. ADD/ADHD can spawn other disorders as well.

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

My grandson takes medication for ADHD. Adderall did not help him. He now takes risperdone. With all of the meds he's tried, missing one day did not result in a change in behavior. The medication builds up in your system and does not go away after 24 hours. You could ask his doctor or a pharmacist what the half life of Adderall is. Half-life indicates how quickly it leaves your system.

My grandson has continued to be very loveable and affectionate when he's on medication. He's had other symptoms that caused a change in medication. I suggest you talk with his doctor about the possibility of trying a different medication.

I do suggest that his behavior today could just be the result of it being a different day. None of us, on medication or not, act the same every day.
I suggest keeping journal listing his behavior and everything that has happened at the time. Different behavior can be caused by what and when the child had breakfast, for example, as well as whether or not someone in his orbit was having a difficult day. When my daughter gets on his case to get out of the house quickly he will act out. So much influences our feelings and our behavior.

A comment after SusanB's post: My 10 yo grandson takes medication for ADHD. He's learned to ask to run when he gets overly hyper. He nearly always runs in the driveway before bed when he's at my house. Often it's only for 20 or so minutes. Sometimes longer. The running does help him to calm down.

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K.S.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hi J.--I have a daughter with ADHD but just struggles with the Attention issues. So, while I don't have experience with the Hyperactivity, I would really suggest you talk to your pediatrician about trying a different medication--or a differenat dosage of his adderall. There should be a medicine that can help him to be focused without losing his affectionate side. There are MANY ADHD drugs--and some with different dosage levels. Talk to your pediatrician, and if you aren't happy with his/her help--ask for a recommendation for an ADHD specialist. (btw--my daughter is still taking Concerta, and is thriving in college).

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M.J.

answers from Sacramento on

I agree with the others. New medication or change the dosage. He shouldn't be missing his personality. Major red flag something's not right with the medication. With the right medication and dosage, your son should have normal behavior but exactly the same personality and energy that falls in the normal range. Not talking much and not smiling shouldn't be happening.

Talk to the specialist right away.

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K.M.

answers from Kansas City on

I work in an elementary school so I see a lot of ADHD kiddos. I do agree with the other posts- it may be time for a med check. Has he had a growth spurt recently? Talk to your pediatrician.

Personally, based on what you have said in your post, he sounds like a fun little guy! Lots of kids his age have the potty talk thing going. :)

Good luck, mama. Keep us posted!

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