Parent Teacher Conf.

adults only

open houses and art shows are times for the kids.

what I want to hear about isn't stuff I need my kids knowing I am concerned about.

I go through their book bags and talk to my kids, so I have an idea about acedemics I want to know more about behaviors and social interactions and my child's concentration in school. so while a student led conf sounds ok at like an open house or something, I don't want them in the room while I am dialoguing w the teacher.

Except for my kindergartner, the kids always went with. This way they heard the praise from the teacher--kind of reinforced good behavior, and they heard where they needed to improve. No worries about "what did the teacher say?". I could then reinforce the improvements needed at home without hearing that it was not true. The kids were also able to express anything issues.

It really depends on the school. When I was a kid, I never attended PTCs, but at my kids' school, the teachers WANT the kids to come. They generally have the kids present the work they have done, what they have learned, artwork they have made, etc. The school always holds a book fair at that time as well.

Our schools allow for parents, teachers, and actually insist students attend as well. The conferences are only 20 minutes at most. There's paperwork that not only do we as parents sign-off on but also that the student must also read and sign as well. Conferences are about the student and in our district if the student cannot attend another conference is set to where all can be involved.

Ask the teacher or an administrator at your child's school. In our elementary school the conferences were for parents only. However, in our middle school the kids are present and are supposed to lead the conference (I don't like them). In high school, we have a very strange set up for conferences (IMO), but it's back to just parent and teacher. Kids don't attend, although I don't think they are prohibited.

I leave my child home whenever possible. Find out what the teacher wants.

In elementary school they request the child not be in the conference. They are allowed to sit in the hallway with a book if you do not have childcare.

We did not have conferences in middle or high school unless we requested it or there was a concern.

Our school did not want kids coming into the classrms during the conference times. This is the time for the parent to conference about the child. A notice usually came home weeks before to explain the policy.

Every school is different.

In the older grades, sometimes there were child-led conferences. I still asked for a one-on-one conference w/ the teacher.

Ask the school. Our schools do "student led conferences" in which the student shows parents a portfolio of their work, and teachers are present to answer questions. The kids really look forward to showing their accomplishments to their parents. There are usually more than one family present in the room. If parents wish to visit with a teacher in private they need to book an appointment for another time.

ETA: Our schools do the student led conferences right from kindergarten on.

ETA: Our teachers will call to schedule appointments with parents if there are ever any behavioural, concentration or social problems, those are not the types of things discussed at conferences.

Our school asks that the kids not be present. (Elementary)

Usually, the conference is for just the adults. Sometimes it will be specified that a kid should come.

In our school, childcare is provided by the PTO during conferences so parents don't have to worry about it.

Our parent conferences (elementary) always include the student. At my daughter's school and the school where I teach students are expected to be at the conference. I know a lot of teachers who do student led conferences. In our building parents, teacher, and student do goal setting at the beginning of the year and check in on those goals mid-year. Older siblings wait in the hall. Younger siblings who can't sit in the hall alone are invited in, BUT parents are expected to keep the child with them and not let them roam around the room or get into things. The school I teach at does provide supervision in the media center for younger siblings. Ask your child's teacher what the expectation is.

They are called Parent-Teacher conferences for a reason. Child stays home.

No, it's just for the parents. If you can leave your child with a friend or a sitter, do it. When I was teaching, I found that parents who brought children were distracted, wondering if little Susie was bored, or they were constantly excusing themselves to see what she was up to. And, when the conference is over, parents usually like to think about what was said or discuss it between the two of them (if both attend) rather than answer little Susie's questions about "What did Mrs. Johnson say about me? Huh? Huh?"

I assume you are talking about regular conferences and not a meeting about an incident, which sometimes the child attends (at least part of it).

No - please - leave the child elsewhere.

Totally depends. Is it the normal end of semester conference or a conference because there is a specific issue being addressed?

Normally, the teachers at our school request the students to be there for the regular conferences. We find that it helps out because then the kids see we are on the same page as their teachers, they know we back them up and support them, and we all leave knowing what changes need to be made if any. The teachers also like to have the kids do some work to show us what they are doing in class.

I prefer to leave my children at home. When I have brought them, they often sit in the hallway outside the room and read a book during the 15 minute conference. I find it is a good time for me to discuss things without my child there.

I've never taken my kids along, but I've seen others who have. The kids sit on a chair in the hallway while the parent(s) are in the classroom. So, there is no point in bringing them unless you don't have anyone to watch them.

Our current school's academic contract is three way. It is between the teacher, the parent and the student. So, I do bring my child (not my child with special needs kiddo though). Even when it was not required I always brought her along. Expectations as well as issues are discussed during conferences and the student needs to be there for that.

i think it's counter-productive to have the child there. the point of the conference is for the teacher and parent to be able to speak frankly and clearly about any issues the child is having, without having to tiptoe around the child's ego or potential hurt feelings. it's the parents' job to translate any praise or concerns the teacher has into appropriate helpful language for their child. there are plenty of opportunities for the parents and teachers to chat and interact with the kids present. parent-teacher conferences are for the adults who are involved with the child to compare, collaborate and chart the course.
khairete
S.````

The teacher will say (if not then ask.) Ours were usually adult only but some teachers like including the student, so ASK.
For what it's worth my kids hated being part of the conference.

Generally, it is just "Parent Teacher" conference. I think they will mention if you should bring your child. If it is your first conference with the school, you should contact the teacher for clarity.

Mom-of-4, it would help to know: Does your school expect the child to be present at the conference and to be a participant? Or does your school say that parent-teacher conferences are just that -- for the parents and the teacher? As you can see from the replies below, different schools do this in very different ways. Some schools even clearly say that students are not allowed to sit in.

Since you're asking the question the way you do, I assume your school has conferences that are for parents and children are not admitted to the room. If that's the case, it's fine for you to take your child plus an engaging book and have your child sit outside the room, if you can't leave your child home alone. I would always prefer to leave my kid at home doing something constructive but if your child is too young to stay home alone, bring your child but be very clear in advance about what will happen, that your child must stay put, that he or she can't wander the hall or whatever.

Our schools don't include students in the conference. It's like that so that teachers can talk freely and frankly with parents about issues or problems. If the child is sitting right there hearing it all, the teacher likely won't be as open with parents and the parents will hesitate to ask tough questions about their own child. I get that some schools have an approach of "Involve the child" and that may work well at middle school and above, but in elementary, I'd prefer the parent-and-teacher-only conference.

If I've had to take my child with me, there is usually a place where he can sit outside the room (like the library or a chair just outside the door). The actual conference is for the parent and child only.

We have always kept our children home. It is nice to speak to the teachers without the kids sitting right there.

I always take my kids for their own conferences. I believe that they should be apart of it and if the teacher has issues we can all discuss them immediately. I believe it is always good to have the one on one time as a team (parent-teacher-student) if the teacher can not say something (negative/positive) about my child in front of my child then there are other issues to be discussed. If the teacher wants to give me more details on things, my child can sit at their desk and read quietly. Personally I believe that all students need to be Active in their entire educational journey, not just in the classroom/homework. It gives them the opportunities to be self advocating (in a safer environment ) which is what they need to do when they get into Middle School/High School/College.

My kids are in 4th-6th & 11th and they have been apart of these conferences since Preschool.

Depends on the school's policy and the age & needs of the individual child.

My middle school asks that students NOT attend the end of first marking period report card conferences. However, for other conference throughout the year, we tend to encourage that students are present.

I've had some very effective parent teacher conferences with the student present. It is best to have the child there when there's frequent home-school miscommunication issues or a disconnect between academic culture/school expectations and those of the family.

If there is something very sensitive that the family wants me know but doesn't want to share with the child yet (parental illness, a financial mishap that is requiring Dad take a second job, or an impending marital separation), that information can be shared before the conference.

Ask the teacher. I am a teacher (high school), and most times I prefer the student be involved in the conference, but occasionally I want to speak to the parents privately. Send a quick email and ask if the student should be included or not.