Painful Sex After Birth

Updated on February 19, 2008
M.L. asks from Camarillo, CA
31 answers

Am I the only person that is experiencing this phenomenon? It's been six months since I had my second child and everytime I have sex with my husband it hurts. I am beginning to loath the act due to this expectation. My husband is concerned that it has something to do with him (don't they all). But I think something happened down there. I have tried lubricants, warming jelly, etc. But that is not the problem. I really feel desensitized. Is this psycological? Any suggestions would be helpful.

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So What Happened?

Saw my doctor and all she said was,"We are never the same down there." She didn't even check me out. I think I will change doctors and update you when I get a real opinion. Thanks for your advice, I look forward to any more you may have.

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G.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

I know this is going to sound a little strange, but a really good friend of mine had this happen and it ended up that her pelvic floor has collapsed after delivery and then it healed in a crooked position. She had to get physical therapy for her vagina! Ends up it is pretty common, but not a lot of people talk about it. I would go straight to my gyno and request a referral asap!

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F.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

I am having the same issue - my kid is 19 months old. I would L. to hear other women's responses on this as well. I'm sure part of it is psychological - but pain is pain.

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A.F.

answers from Honolulu on

dont worry. your not alone. it was hard for us too. ive asked other moms too, and they say its just your body telling you i need exercise, basically. just keep trying, different positions,a nd when it hurts, stop. but dont give up hope! it took us about 6 months after to have good sex, and now hes in iraq...alot of good that does us! good luck, just keep trying and if it doesnt seem to be getting any easier, go to the doctor. if u had a vaginal delivery and stitches...maybe they sewed too high. good luck!

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J.S.

answers from San Diego on

I have the same problem - and was recently diagnosed with dyspareunia. Basically anytime something touches the floor of the vagina it contracts and causes pain...it has been happening since delivering my son 6 months ago and is possibly related to low levels of estrogen (due to breastfeeding). My gynecologist gave me some Premarin (estrogen cream) and referred to special physical therapist. I have not been for my appointment yet but would be happy to share my experience after I do.
J.

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C.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

Are you breastfeeding? Have you started menstruating again yet?

My OB warned me that this might happen (and it did) and prescribed a hormone gel that was supposed to fix it. Unfortunately, after reading the insert, I decided I wasn't willing to use it while breastfeeding, and just put up with a disappointing sex life for a while.

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A.D.

answers from Santa Barbara on

Maybe you should go to your doctor and let him/her know what's going on. Hopefully they will check you and see what the problem might be. Good luck!

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D.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

I have also experienced painful sex after giving birth. It's been three months since I gave birth. I asked one of my cousins about this and she told me that it was normal for quite a while..she's had two children and experienced this with both. We theorized that perhaps that "lovers stitch" the doctors do now is really not necessary since it seems to make things a bit too tight! She promised me it would get better but if it doesn't soon I plan on asking my doctor about it. Hope this helps!

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T.L.

answers from Honolulu on

See your doctor, you may have a yeast infection. Sometimes you can have one without the normal symtoms like discharge so you wont know it. Your situation sounds a lot like what happened to a friend of mine. Either way, your doctor should be able to help.

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A.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

I can relate. I found that my problem with this issue subsided after breast feeding. For me, low estrogen equaled dryness, therefore pain. You may want to discuss this with your midwife or doctor.

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S.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

I too have had this problem. I have two kids and after my first baby, sex didnt always feel that great, it felt very uncomfertable. It seemed to me, that my husband was, well..."going in to far" and when I told him this, -whitch he that was funny, and I did not- he tried not to "go in as far" whitch made it a little better. And the pain lasted about 6 months or so. Now after my second baby (6 months old) I am now having the same problem as you, as well as the problem before. I have tried to use lubricants, but they never seem to do the trick. But then my sister told me about another bran, -because I dont like any KY lubes, and I really dont like the touch worm ones, the freck me out- it is called swiss navy, it is a water based lubricant, and a little goes a long was. the web site is www.swissnavylubes.com I am hoping that I wont always have to use it, but until that day I recommend that stuff. Good luck and Congradulations on the new little one.

D.C.

answers from Dallas on

I had the same problem after my first child and it went on for a whole year. I believe my problem was that my doctor had sewn me up too much and it was causing discomfort when I had sex. It took a long time and just patience on my husbands part before i could enjoy it somewhat and it didn't really get better until after I had my second child and was sewn up again. I believe this doctor did it correctly. But I noticed that my husband would "bump" into something and that would cause pain and a change of positions would help that out.

Have you tried different positions? Does it hurt upon entry or after entry? I would have your doctor have a look to make sure there aren't any underlying issues that's causing your discomfort. Did you have an incision that had to be sewn back up? If so that could be the problem.

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P.N.

answers from Los Angeles on

You probably want to see your OBGYN to make sure that there is nothing anatomical that is causing the pain. You can sometime have some vaginal skin tags that can swell and cause pain from friction. Also, often times, you can get some lacerations from the birthing process. As those lacerations heal, there can be some scarring. Scar tissue is not as elastic as normal vaginal mucosa. This can cause some pain with intercourse. You may want to try some premarin (estrogen) cream (prescription) in that area to promote healing and some more elasticity. If you are breastfeeding, you can become very "dry". Lots of lubrication is needed. Take your time. It will get better. Really, I suggest seeing your OB. They see this a lot.

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L.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

I had the same problem after I had my son. I would suggest you go to the Dr. In my case I had granulation tissue that was causing me the pain. Now that the Dr. has fixed it I don't have any more pain.

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M.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi M. L: It isn't normal to have pain at this point. See your doctor NOW. It's imperative that you do this for yourself and your husband. Your sexual life is part of your loving bond and it's so important that it be nurtured. Good Luck.

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R.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

I feel you really need to go back to the Doctor. You might have a hormonol problem. And might need to take a natural hormone until your hormones are back up. I had a simialr problem and I had symtoms like lower back pain, cramps,sensitive uterus, and always felt like I was going to start my period. So I started taking a natural hormone creme from CVS drug store and it all went away and it also increased my lebido.......R. marcelle

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H.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

You may be experiencing vaginal dryness due to hormonal changes and jellies ect wont help. An estrogen cream may help. Go see your gynocologist. I went through this after my first pregnancy and the cream really helped. I also had to get over my fear of expected pain- so partly pyschological. In the end, after a couple weeks using the cream, I was enjoying sex again. Well, enjoying it as much as a new mom can!! Being over tired ect. never helps. Good luck!

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S.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Talk to your Gynacologist, there may be nerve damage and it may be repairable. I had a similar problem after having surgery for Cervical cancer and after I had some scar tissue removed it helped.

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B.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Dear M.,

You don't say whether you delivered vaginally or by c-section - my assumption is that you had a vaginal delivery. I'm wondering if you have gone to your doctor (since your 6 week follow-up). This would be my suggestion. I have three children, all vaginal deliveries. Other than that sqeemishness, and fear of how bad it would be after, I never had a problem - the reality was never as bad as I was afraid it would be, and I've had no trouble since . . . You need to have a check-up by your doctor to see if something didn't heal right or if there is something else going on here . . .

Good luck!
B.

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M.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

This happened to me after giving birth to our son. At first my OB told me it's normal up to 6 months after birth. Well the 6 month mark came and went and I still had very painful sex. I saw my OB again at 7+ months and her response, after examining me and finding nothing wrong was, "Well, this just might be how it is from now on". I almost fell on the floor, I couldn't imagine not having a happy sex life, and what it would possibly do to my marriage & husband.
But I am happy to report that somewhere around the 9-10 month mark the pain began to subside and would only hurt once in a while. Then around a year it totally went away and hasn't come back since. So just hang in there sweetie. If you're like me it just takes your body longer now but it will happen.

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S.E.

answers from Los Angeles on

Are you breast feeding? I just saw a doctor for this very problem 2 days ago. He said that sometimes when you are breast feeding the decrease in estrogen can cause this phenomenon. He prescribed me some estrogen cream that is supposed to help. It takes a little while to get started so I haven't noticed any changes yet, but any thing can be better than how it is now.

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E.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

You are NOT the only one. I have had two children, two years apart (now 8 & 10). There was a little discomfort with sex after the first, but nothing compared to the pain after the second one. It was so difficult, because I thought it would never get better, and it was difficult for my husband as well. I attributed it to more tearing or possibly more stitches with my second. The GOOD NEWS is that it did go away. My husband and I had to work on it slowly for a while, and I wish I could remember how long it took to get better. It was definitely more than 6 months (sorry). It's worth working through it, because I can honestly say our sex life has never been better.

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R.H.

answers from San Diego on

Hi there, I had the same problem after giving birth to my daughter. Since she was my first child, I initially thought it was normal, but after a while I thought I should mention it to my doctor. My doctor found that I had not healed properly after birth. I had a simple outpatient procedure done to remove a very small amount of excess tissue.

Definitely give your doctor a call. Hope this helps.

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T.J.

answers from San Diego on

This sounds eerily familiar! I had the same problem pop up ramdomly three years ago. Have you been to see your doctor about your pain? There is a group of little known disorders, called vulvodynia, that cause chronic vulvar pain when pressure is applied (like during sex).

I suggest checking out these websites: www.thevpfoudation.org (you can call the VP Foundation and talk to a real person) and www.nva.org, and bring up this possibility with your ob/gyn.

If it does turn out to be one of these conditions, the VP Foundation has info on treatments that have been proven by medical research to work, and they can get you in touch with other women for support. The info they provided has helped me be 90% pain free for about a year now! (My doctor wasn't much help though. Most don't know very much about how to help women with these disorders).

I would L. to know if this helps you out!

Wishing you wellness.

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L.H.

answers from San Diego on

My daughter is 7 1/2 months, she is my first and I still have pain during sex. I was told by my doctor and have seen this in a few books as well - that it takes you body up to 9 months to heal after child birth and discomfort furing sex is normal during this time. I have had a few friends that went through this as well, but clearly it doesn't happen to everyone. I would still see your doctor to be safe and maybe I should go see mine. :)

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H.P.

answers from San Diego on

I had this problem with my first child -- my Doc. suggested to stop breast feeding, which I did and alot of the pain went away! (has to do with hormone levels) If you are not BFing, I will ask if you had a normal birth (non c-sect) If so, did you tear during birth? If so, you may need a "posterior repair" surgery which I also went through several years later. Today, I am "repaired" and my vagina is normal again! Sex is no longer painful!

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C.F.

answers from San Diego on

Are you nursing your baby? Because that can be a cause of painful, overly sensitive vaginal tissue. I've had three babies and nursed all of them and had this same very annoying and painful side effect each time. My doctor said it's related to the suppression of estrogen during lactation - but not all women experience this side effect. He gave me estrogen suppositories and this helps a lot.
Each time I've had this problem, it immediately gets better when I wean the babies. But don't stop nursing early because of it - talk to your doctor about getting something to help. Good luck!

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R.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi i'm not sure about everyone else but it took some time for me too. Although after our last baby it took a little longer. It could be all of your emotions going crazy. I think it was for me. I kind of felt like there was no more of me left, like after 4 kids I was overwhelmed. Hang in there it just takes some time.

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H.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

try using olive oil to massage the perineum area to help stretch it out a bit again. if you had any stiches, you may have scar tissue that just needs to be softened

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D.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

M., It can take up to a year after vaginal birth to feel good again. Keep using lubricants and try lying on your side when you and your husband have sex. It seems to take the pressure of the apisotomy area and lubricants seem to help espically if you are breastfeeding. Take your time, everything will heal.

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C.K.

answers from San Diego on

I'd recommend seeing your ob/gyn for an exam and talking about the issue.
Good luck

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S.T.

answers from Los Angeles on

Pain during sex could mean that you might have an infection. I would go to the doctor.

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