Painful Intercourse

I had intercourse with no problems for years, then out of no where it was painfull all the time. I also went to 3 or 4 different obgyns and specialists. everybody said i was fine so i just told myself it must be in my mind. When i got pregnant( about 3 years after painful sex started) i had alot of pain in my back and my midwife sent me to physical therapy. During physical therapy she discovered one of my legs was a tiny bit longer than the other. She asked me if sex was painfull for me. I answered yes, extremly painful, once my husband got past a certain point it was almost like a popping feeling that was very painful. She said I needed to see the internal physical T. before I had my baby or I was going to be in a lot of pain. I was in tears just to hear somebody say there was a reason and it wasnt all in my mind. I saw the internal P.T. which was very painfull & embarasing, but very very worth it. Child birth went by smoothly and sex has been fine ever since.
What was wrong with me was that I had a lot of scar tissue built up in the vaginal canale. She said she sees it alot in women who have been sexualy abused or raped. In my case it was from years of snowmobiling.
Best of luck to you, it's a horrible thing for you and your husband to have to go through. After a while it really take a toll on your relationship. If you have any questions please feel free to e-mail me.

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I have a very dear friend who was allgeric to her own husband's semen! Has anyone mentioned that as a possibility? My friend's sensitivity has gone away since her husband has had a vasectomy. She has also become more aware of what her body is sensitive to and has adjusted her eating habits and what consmetics she uses. Right now, "living green" is spoken about everywhere, but it might actually help you in this area, too. There are so many toxins in many foods and cosmetics, our bodies have to work overtime to try to purge it all. This might seem completely unrelated, but it manifests itself in so many ways... I cannot guarantee that this would solve your problem, but it couldn't hurt! Blessings to You and Yours!

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Have you ever had sex without pain? Perhaps with another partner? Without knowing more about your pain, it's difficult to give advice but if I were you I would deal with this BEFORE you get pregnant. Sexual issues are really high on the list of things that can result in the break-up of a marriage and I really think you owe it to your future children to make certain your marriage is as rock solid as possible before adding anyone else. Your hubby might be the most patient and understanding person in the world, but sexual intimacy is extremely important to most men and if you are in pain every time you have sex you are not likely to want to have it. This is NOT a formula for a happy husband. And a happy husband is critical for a happy marriage.

Keep going to different doctors until you get the proper answer. Just because pain during intercourse is a common problem does NOT mean it is normal. You need to be very aggressive and you need to be willing to visit as many different doctors as possible. Tell each new doctor what the previous doctors have told you and what you have tried and see if they can give you a different answer or a referral to someone who can help.

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Do you have painful and irregular periods some of the time? My pain during intercourse was caused by endometriosis. It could only be diagnosed with a laproscopy. My pain was internal and tended to be dull tho sometimes it became sharp depending on how "active" we were. Often I continued to have dull abdominal ache for hours afterward.

I had major surgery to remove the endometrium and gradually the pain returned. The pain was less and more dull. This time the dr thought it was from scar tissue.

Here's a bit of history over which to smile now but I certainly didn't then. The dr suggested I had unsolved emotional issues with my father causing the pain. I don't think they knew much, if anything, about endometriosis then.

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It's also possible that your uterus could be "tipped" the wrong way, making it perfectly positions for banging into with intercourse? After my partial hysterectomy, due to fibroids and pre-cancerous cervix, my pain with intercourse went away. A whole new world opened up for me!

I'd try all the other suggestions on here, look up things on the internet to know more and figure out which matches your symptoms, then ask your doctor to check you for all of them. It's got to be something.

Oh, and I'd ruled out the 'in-the-head' problem already b/c I wanted sex, liked it, all the way up to the banging and then just gritted my teeth for it to be done and move on to the after part where I was then satisfied. Fortunately for me, this led to my pregnancies before the hysterectomy so I was able to have children. I wish I'd known about some of these other things to have tried b/c I also have a small vaginal canal (I'm a petite woman) and it took awhile, and some children, for it to stretch, making it an issue when giving birth also. So if that's part of the problem work slowly on ways to expand the canal. Also kegels do give the woman more sexual pleasure b/c the muscles expand/contract during orgasm, making it that much more heightened. It was worth the time I spent doing them.

Oh, and latex condoms and exams by the doctor using latex gloves is how I learned that I'm allergic to latex, so if you are feeling raw after the doctor exam, consider that also - it might not be that just the doctor's finger insertion into the vagina that causes the pain, although for me that was painful too b/c I was so small. Fortunately, the more you use it the bigger it gets, which is also why the kegels are important.

And I've also learned with my new partner that the presence of foreskin does mean more lubricant during intercourse and that has been the final accidental 'solution' that seems to have resolved all my pain. Hoooray!

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Hi J.,

I truly feel for you. When my daughter was born I had really severe pain for almost 18 months. It was worse during intercourse. Because mine was nerve related it dealt with my back as well. It helped me to do women's vaginal physical therapy and keagal muscle exercises. It does work but it takes A LOT of discipline and dedication to heal the area. We saw a physical therapist in Redmond, WA at Redmond Physical Therapy who was very helpful.

There was also a DR. in Seattle who was helpful as well who dealt with women's issues like vaginitis. For me, I found it was mostly related and irrittaed by dietary issues. However, that may not be the case for everyone.

Praying you are better soon.... Believe it will happen, and you will see the results before your eyes!

Many Blessings,

K.S.

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Have you been tested for STD's? Some have no symptoms, specifically PID, Pelvic Inflammatory disease. That causes painful intercourse.

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Hi J.-

My sister had this problem and was eventually diagnosed with vaginismus. It took awhile for a doc to finally understand what was going on with her, but once she knew what it was, she was able to do excercises (really!) to help her out and she is now having intercourse without any pain and is even pregnant.

Good luck!

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THere is a women's physical therapist who might help. after I had my twins sex was painful for me. I went and saw her and after 2 appointments I could have sex without discomfort. Her name is Tami Kent. Here is her website.

http://www.wildfeminine.com/about.php

As far as I know I think she takes some insurances, but I paid out of pocket. It was totally worth the cost. I don't know if there is anyone in your area who does the same thing but if you get in contact with her she might be able to assist you in finding someone in your area. If not maybe it would be worth the drive for you.

S.

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J., try physical therapy. Not all, but a select few physical therapists provide "women's health" which includes help recovering from incontinence and painful sex. I had to seek PT on my Naturopath/Midwife's recommendation after pregnancy. This PT is located downtown Portland and has told me stories about women who couldn't even have intercourse until they sought PT and now have happy sex lives. If you want her name, just email me.

Thanks!
T.

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Hi,
I think 1 of 3 things might be going on. 1) some sort of mental/pyschological thing; 2) an infection; or 3) your hormones are a bit off in the critical area. This can lead to dryness and less elasticity in the skin. I had this post baby and was prescriped a hormone replacement cream to be inserted vaginally. It toally helped!!!

Good luck!

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In addition to talking to your doctor (or at even a 4th one) about something like vaginismus try asking about endomitriosis or fibroid tumors. I had very painful intercourse, heavy periods and very painful periods. Turned out I had a lime sized fibroid and severe endomitriosis. The fibroid was diagnosed with an ultrasound (but endo cannot be). I had surgery to remove the fibroid and that's when the doctor found the endo. He also removed that and since intercourse has been relatively pain free.

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I realize your problem seems a little beyond this, but have you tried pre-seed lubricant. It's designed for women trying to get pregnant, but it really made sex much better for me. I buy it on line at www.Early-Pregnancy-Tests.com

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Hi J.!

So sorry you're going through this - that must be hard on both of you.

I would definitely try to figure this out before conceiving a child. In addition to the advice mentioned by the pp, pain during intercourse could be a sign that you have a low-grade bacterial infection that could cause damage to the baby.

It could be so many things - some of which you've tried to address with lubricants and positioning. Other reasons could be just a small opening - I read of one woman who had to have her opening increased through out-patient surgery. Although, this is quite rare.

While most women have experienced pain during intercourse at some point in their lives (for example, the first couple times after giving birth, during or after menopause, if they haven't had sex in some time, if they have a bacterial infection, etc.), most women don't experience pain during intercourse on a regular basis.

It's definitely something you need to just keep researching and seeing specialists on. My heart goes out to you - it must be so frustrating to not have an answer to this!! I pray you find an answer quickly and that you are soon enjoying the man you love.

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J. ,
I was wondering the same thing ? what are your pain symptoms ? does it hurt inside ? outside? burning ?
What do you mean that you read it is a common problem ?
sorry so many questions but I think I might have your answers .but I need to know more about your symptoms.

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Hi J.,
You may have vulvodynia or vulvar vestibulitis. I highly recommend you call the UW Women's Health Care Center. Erin Mahoney, ARNP and David Eschenbach, MD are 2 providers I refer my patient to when they are in similar to yours situation. They specialize in female sexual dysfunction. Here is their contact info: http://uwmedicine.washington.edu/PatientCare/MedicalSpeci...
If the problem is not physical, I recommend you see Carolyn Livingston, PhD, ARNP for sexual therapy. She is wonderful! Here is her info: http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/health/2002197995_s... Her phone number is ###-###-####.
Good luck. I hope you will find a solution soon!

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It might help us to know what type of pain you are talking about. Is it dull, sharp, burning, etc.

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