Pacifier Woes - New London,CT

I have a very interesting/strange story. When I was ready for my son to give up his binky, I took him to the beach (he loved to feed the seagulls). As he was feeding the seagulls, I pulled the binky out of his mouth real quick and said "Oh look, the bird took your binky". He was so surprised by that and he never asked for it again.

Not sure if it will work for you, my son is now 9 and I really wish I had that on video, just to capture the look of amazement on his face.

Good luck.

Hi, R.. Two of my daughters used a pacifier and two did not. My oldest used hers until she was 2 and we had her sister. One night, she asked for her 'fire' and then I asked her who else used a 'fire.' She said her baby sister and her baby cousin. I said, "Oh, so fire's are for babies. Here you go, honey." She said no thank you, and never took it again! It was so funny. But she was very interested in being a big girl.

My second daughter kept hers until she was over 3, and long after our 3rd was born. She is a perfectly well adjusted 12 year old now, with no dental problems whatsoever. Other people judged me for letting her have it, but she was an easily stressed out kid and it gave her comfort. I never forced it on her, or gave it to her to shut her up. I kept it out of sight and gave it to her if she asked for it at bed times.

This is a decision for a parent to make, and not anyone else, but you aren't harming her. You are comforting her. Don't let other people's judgement of it interfere. As my mother told me, 'It's not as if she's going to walk down the aisle on her wedding day with a pacifier in her mouth!"

Good Luck!
Jenn

I took my son at age three to the toy store to choose a toy. He then paid for it at the cash register with the pacifier. The store clerk was wonderful and took it from him and made a big deal about it. We did talk about it a lot beforehand and talked about it after and how he did such a great job.

Good luck.

Hi. I wouldnt worry about it too much..especially if its just for sleep. My son is 2 and we got rid of his in september. We kept telling him that the "pinky fairy" will come and get it when he no longer needs it and give it to a baby who does. We talked about it for months until he would start talking about the "fairy"...and one day...it disappeared...he would ask about it but we would just say that the binky fairy took it. He now sleeps fine..actually better than with it. Hope this helps alittle. You need to try different things. Now we are trying with diapers..that should be interesting. good luck!!

We are having the exact same issue! Our daughter is 2 and only uses the pacifier for naps and bedtime-she has a huge space between her top two teeth... I can't wait to see the responses to this one. Maybe there is a paste or gel we could put on to make it taste bad.

I definately feel you. My son gave his up when he was three and a half...He was also only using it to sleep so I really didn't see the big deal...Eventually my husband and I stopped offering it to him and when he would ask for it then we'd give it to him..He finally one day just stopped asking for it and we stopped offering it to him...and he's been binky free for about 3 months now. I'm glad cause he just turned 4 last weekend. I think that if your daughter only uses it to sleep and then willingly hands it over she'll give it up when she's ready...I know some people may disagree but it worked for us...I hope this helps...Best of Luck to you.

I hate the stupid "paccie" take it away cold turkey plain and simple, i took my sons away at 6 or 7 months! they dont need it past 8 months. Only infants need the suckling when they are newborns to "pacify" them, not a 14 month old! Tell your Bf to stop with the paci or your gonna have a 4 yr old running around telling you what she wants and not the other way around!

my oldest daughter was very attached to her binky, we finally told her that while she was too old, her favorite bear (special toy still needed it, more than her in fact!) we cut the rubber off and tied the binky to bear with a pretty ribbon. She could still see it for comfort, and never fussed about it. She is now 16, and still has binky bear!

This is an idea I got off super nanny. you tell her that there are new babies out there who need a "fada". Tell her if you put it in a pretty bag and hang it on the tree outside, the "fada fairy" will came get it at night and leave her a gift. she will enjoy the little gift, and it will help her learn that new babies need a "fada" not big girls like she is. every time she wants it, remind her what you guys did together and how the new babies are enjoying her "fada".

( during the night, go out, put the "fada" in the trash and replace it will a little gift.)
hope this helps!!!
J.

I wouldn't worry about it too much. When both of the children turned 3, about a week before or a week afterwards, I told them that 3 is the age when you know longer have binky's. With my son I told him the garbage man took it, because at the time he loved to watch the trash truck come and pick up the trash, My daughter, we did the binky fairy to take it to her home until another baby would need it. It is hard for the first 2-4 days, but after that, my kids forgot about it, We also added something extra at bedtime, a new blanket or stuffed animal. Both of my children started having a particular lovey within two weeks of giving up the binky. I would wait a little longer before you start worrying. Your doing a great job giving it to her only during sleep times. I have seen many kids that are slow in starting to talk because they always have a binky in their mouth when they are awake. Good luck!

My twin boys used pacifiers for sleeping until they turned 3. Then we made a deal. I told them that I would take them to the toy store and they could have anything they wanted, but they had to pay for it with the paci. We talked about it for about a week and then they decided they were ready. So off we went. They chose a new Thomas train each and couldn't get to the check out fast enough! They tossed the pacifiers up on the counter with pride.
Naptime that day didn't happen when reality hit, but bedtime was no problem. We let them bring thier new trains to bed them as a reminder, but only really talked about it if they brought it up. No problem since.
Good luck!
W.
twin boys 3yrs

Hi R. -
I let my kids have their pacifiers until they got rid of them. They've never had dental problems, didn't need braces, don't have food issues or control issues. My son threw his away when he was about 2 1/2, then cried for it - I gave him another one, when he got up from his nap he threw it away. This kept up through about 4 'binkies', when he went to throw the last one away, I told him if he did, they were all gone. He stuck it in his mouth, toddled off and thought about it for a while, came back and threw it away. That was it.
Why do people think they have to take it away? As long as they're not sucking fingers or thumbs, (which you can never get rid of) it's all good.
As my dad told me... he'd never seen a bride walking down the aisle with a diaper on or a pacifier in her mouth.

I would not worry about it at all - there is definitely a culture of binky nazis out there that give you that look if your child uses a pacfifier like 'OH, I see you haven't weened your child of the binky yet..." If you already have her using it only during naps and nighttime you are doing fine. As she starts to get more teeth, just be sure that she is not using one of those orthodontic ones as they can actually mess up the shape of your kids' pallete. Consider yourself ahead of the game and don't let social pressures make you feel you are 'behind the norm' - every kid has their own norm. My pediatrician once said to me when I had a similar concern, 'listen, its not like your kid is going to be in high school sucking on a binky, he'll let it go when it makes sense, and its probably not going to last forever'. It helped me let go of a lot of unnecessary worrying I was doing over the issue

My oldest daughter had a binky (several in fact). She was have 2 or 3 binky's clipped to the front of her shirt because she didn't like them once they got too wet so she would just rotate through her supply. When she was about 3 she decided she had had enough of binky's and got rid of them on her own. We talked once in awhile about giving up the binky's but we never pushed her. It was more just food for thought. She is now 9 years old and talks fondly about when she used to wear so many binky's and thinks it was just so silly. Give your daughter time. If she only uses them for sleeping that's great. She'll decide sooner than later that she's ready to throw them away. Good Luck.

We brought our son to Build a Bear where he made a monkey and put his binky inside and he named it Binky. Whenever he would ask for it we woulod remind him it was in the monkey. At first he brought it everywhere, now it stays in his bed. The only draw back we had was that we had to start monitoring his sugar intake before bed, because I didn't realize how much the binky mellowed him out before bed! Worked for us...good luck!

pacifier fairy works great.. wrap it up, hang it outside or put it someplace and the next morning, have a small gift waiting for her where the paci was.. cold turkey is best though..

My children didn't have a pacifier past the first couple months. We are the ones who create the child's 'need' for a pacifier by not tending to thier cues. They fuss for reason: hunger, wet, tired, need of stimulation/interaction, too much stimulation/interaction. I'm not saying saying parents don't take care of their kids...it's just some times it's just easier to give them a pacifier to hold them over because i.e the bottle's warming, dinner's cooking, to which we are the ones creating the 'need'. One thing leads to another and the child becomes dependent on the pacifier.
We can teach them to sleep without a pacifier but it takes time and patience. A nice warm bath and snuggling up to read a story work well. When they fuss from loss of the pacifier go in, rub their back (don't pick them up) for a minute reassuring them it's ok, then leave. Wait a few minutes longer each time before you enter the room. It may take a few days but it works in most instances.
When I did daycare a child's pacifier stayed in their diaper bag. I believe a pacifier to interfere with speech. A child with a pacifier in their mouth will be less inclined to mimick sounds/speech. After continued use they may learn to 'talk around' it. This could lead to poor formation of words. Further complications could be, not being understood, creating frustration due to poor communication skills.
In the end you need to do what's best for you and your child. Talk to your pediatrician AND dentist and go from there. A different perspective: think of all the bacteria growing in the pacifier cracks & grooves and it going in their mouth.....yuck.

I have 3 little boys, and have found that picking your battles is what it is all about. I wouldn't rush getting her off the fada since she's only 2 and only uses it at night. It is hard to do what you and she want and not what "everyone else" is telling you you should do. Listen to your MOM instincts, they will tell you the right thing to do.

My almost 3 year old daughter was a binky maniac, we never left the house without it. I talked about the binky fairy coming to take her binkies for other babies that need them. We talked about it for a week, then on Saturday I had her help me find all the binkies around the house and place them in a basket we hung the basket from a tree in the front yard. About an hour later we checked the basket and there was a new doll and cupcakes in the basket. She was so excited about the fact that the fairy came to her house that she never cried for her binky again.
I know it sounds crazy, but she really never cried about it again. She did ask for it and we reminded her that the fair took them to the babies that needed them.

Good Luck!

Sam
Mom of 3 - 6 yrs. Devin, 4 yrs. Donovan, and 2 yrs Mya

do not rush getting rid of it. she obviously needs it. too bad your boyfriend didn't tell you about giving it at nap time and making her wonder what was going on at bedtime. if she only needs it to sleep that is a small thing. I have seen 4 year olds carrying one around all day. that is a bit much but a 23 month old still needs one.

We took the pacifier away from my daughter all together just after her 2nd birthday. (The birthday party with kids running around all day was hectic enough, so we decided to do it after things had gotten back into routine). She was old enough to understand the "binky fairy" concept too- so we told her a week or two after her birthday that tonight the "binky fairy" would be coming to take all of her binkies to the new babies at the hospital. We decorated a special little box and found all of her binkies around the house and put them in together before she went to bed. We told her that the fairy would leave her something special to thank her for being such a big strong girl. (We put a toys r us gift card in and let her go to the store to pick out a special big girl toy). She cried for a little bit that first night, but we kept reminding her of the binky fairy- the next night she did look for her binky, but we reminded her of her special doll and she slept with that. I think it helped that my older son hyped it up for her and made her feel special for doing such a good job- good luck!!

My pediatrician said don't worry about the paci until age 3. She says as long as she is sleeping well and doesn't use it during the day there is no rush. Making sure she is off the bottle and nighttime feeds is more important. So maybe now is not the time...

We gave ours to Santa in a bag we left near the cookies. To give to all the babies born on Christmas Eve. You can give it to the Easter Bunny (next holiday). Or even bring it to Build a Bear. They can put it in the belly (stuffing) of a special bear that she can pick out herself. A friend of mine put it in the ground under a flower bush that her daughter picked out. Now her daughter waters the plant and thinks it growing because of the security from the pacifier. It might give her a sense of control. And isn't that what its about for her? Good luck.

I'm sure you've heard this before - your child WILL NOT attend kindergarten with a pacifier. Let her have it if she needs it for consolation when she sleeps. The amount of time she uses it will not alter her tooth growth but if you are concerned about that get one that specifically says it's dental safe. Other than that my advice is to not sweat it. It's not worth the hassle and it's a natural way for a child to self-soothe. They drop them on their own when they're ready.

I have to disagree with how long a child/person needs to 'pacify' themselves with a pacifer. Some people just always need something going on in their mouths- if that wasn't true we wouldn't have gum chewers, nail biters, smokers etc. She may do just fine if you take it a way cold turkey or she may just switch to her thumb. If she's only taking it to bed, I wouldn't stress about it.It gives her comfort and it does not harm her or anyone else.

If its not hurting anyone why do you need to get rid of it? Be thankful she only wants it when she sleeps. Its pretty typical to want a pacifier, it soothes there nerves and helps them feel secure. She will eventually give it up on her own. Hang in there and dont stress out about it too much. Its okay.... If your worried about the teeth thing... I was raised with no pacifier and had an extreme over bite... Its genetic. Oh, another thing I just remembered... I think when my niece was three they sent her binky to the pacifier fairy because the new babies needed it now that she was big... it was something they did during potty training cause she was a "big girl". or maybe they took it to the hospital? somehimg like that. it worked though.

I would work on getting rid of it now. My son was completely off of his by 14 months. At the end he was only using it for nap and bedtime also and I also contemplated on just letting him use it but a few friends made a good point that the longer you let your baby use it the harder it will be to take it away. We decided one night to just lay him down without it and he screamed and screamed and my husband got so mad at me because I wouldn't let him give it to him but he did eventually fall asleep. He woke a few times that night and we just had to do it over again. But I'll tell you the next night was much easier and a few days later he wasn't phased. My son is now 17 months and my cousin had a baby a few months ago and he give the baby her pacifier and doesn't even try to use it. Good luck...won't be easy but stick with it!!!

Hi R.,

I am definately no expert, but the first question I would have to ask if this was my situation is, What harm is it doing? more than likely your child will give it up on her own. I'm impressed she hands it over when she wakes up. Pick and choose your battles. This is probably not worth the fight. Good Luck.