Overbooked

Updated on April 29, 2013
A.T. asks from Orlando, FL
20 answers

So my daughter is on two soccer teams. Recreation soccer that she has been on since January and the school soccer team that she just joined 2 weeks ago. There is a game for school soccer and her last practice/End of the Season party for rec soccer at the same time on Thursday (she has her last rec game on Saturday). Needless to say we are in a disagreement about which things she will attend. Does anyone have any opinions about this???? Please help I needs arguments for and against her going to each! :)

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C.V.

answers from Columbia on

She should attend the school game. She has a continued obligation to her team. Recreation soccer is over, but her school team isn't and will be counting on her to be there.

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B..

answers from Dallas on

I know this well. I played club soccer and school soccer. School soccer always came first. Parties never take precedence over school obligations. IF she is in highschool, they are NOT understanding of other obligations. Her place on the team can easily be up for the taking, if the coach finds out why she isn't there. Or, that she lied about why.

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P.K.

answers from New York on

School game! That is a no brainer. IMO not even open for discussion. I am sure she wants to go to end of season party, but school team comes first.

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M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

Our school team policy is that the school team game has priority over the county/recreation team. The students have to agree to that prior to tryouts. So in my case, she would attend the school match, and have to miss the rec. practice/party.

Secondly, a game should outweigh a practice any day.

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K.P.

answers from Miami on

The school team should be the priority. If she doesn't go to the game, there's a good chance she won't make the team next year. It's also a game vs. practice.

Talk with the Rec team coach and find out what time the party will start. Make sure to have your food/drink contribution there whether she attends or doesn't and see if she can make it to the end of the Rec party.

She'll be at the last Rec game on Saturday and can celebrate with her teammates then.

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J.B.

answers from Boston on

Game trumps practice/party, school teams trumps rec team.

My oldest son has been playing school hockey and rec hockey for three years and sometimes has conflicting games. Unless it's a tournament or playoff game for his rec team, his school team wins any conflicts. Where the other thing isn't even a game, she should go to her game. She will still see her rec team on Saturday at that last game.

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L.R.

answers from Washington DC on

To miss a game just two weeks into playing on the team isn't good form. She should do the school game.

If the events don't totally overlap, she might be able to hit the end of the party after the game.

This is going to come up again and again -- she probably needs to choose one team and give up the other eventually, unless you can be really assured that their practices and games don't conflict. Around here, that would be very hard to do -- many recreational soccer teams don't know their exact schedules much in advance -- I know of kids being told "You have a game this Sunday at 9" with less than a week's notice, all because the rec teams are forever juggling schedules of who gets which playing fields and when.

And if she sticks with soccer and gets good enough to be on more advanced "travel teams" there's not much chance of doing two teams.

Be sure she's doing some non-sport activities too and isn't just doing all soccer, all the time, or she'll burn out. I figure you said yes to the school team because there was only two weeks' overlap in their seasons -- is that right? Come fall, I would think she'd need to choose between them, if the school has fall soccer as well as spring soccer. If the rec soccer is in the fall and she can play just in fall for rec and spring for school that could work. But you'll be juggling more and more if she keeps playing.

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K.O.

answers from Atlanta on

School soccer. Game trumps party. She made a committment to be at the games. The party is optional. Plus, where I come from school soccer is much mroe serious than rec soccer.

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S.A.

answers from Chicago on

Game over party. I know all about overbooked. My daughter is on a club softball team and school softball team in addition to girl scouts, piano lessons and Church choir. She will be missing her choir end of the year party because of a club softball game. That's the breaks.

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

School team. School takes first priority in commitments.

Maybe you could plan a party for the club on your own on another date.. Or have her get together with her favorite team mates at some point..

Just because the season is over, does not mean she cannot still gather them together, even meet up for a picnic lunch at a park and they can play soccer together.

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J.K.

answers from Wausau on

The game take precedence over the party. That is a bummer, but this is why you have to be careful when you make the choice to overlap activities. In the future, she should choose just one team, not both.

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A.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

I feel that the school team is more important than rec... Could she go to the school game and then catch the tail end of her rec party just to say bye to her friends?

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M.L.

answers from Colorado Springs on

A game always takes precedence over a party. Even though she joined the school team second, she's part of the team and needs to be part of the game. Can she make it to a bit of the party after the game is over?

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M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

This happens all the time with my kids sports. They all do only one sport, but they are time intensive and overlap. We all like to go to the parties and celebrate with the families and kids we have spent so much time with over the past 10-12 weeks, but sometimes we have to skip.

For example, we were having an end of season football party last spring for my youngest. It was on my daughter's birthday and she also had dance. So she missed, but we brought her dinner.

Let your daughter make the choice, but explain to her about being part of a team and ask her how she would feel if another player missed the game to go to a party.

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L.F.

answers from San Francisco on

Recreation soccer since she has been on it longer. Or go to both. Spend a little time at each depending on how long the event is.

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S.B.

answers from Dallas on

She needs to play the school soccer game. She has made a commitment to play and will probably be penalized if she fails to show up. After the school game, if there is still time, I would take her to the team party. If not, she will still be able to see her rec team teammates at the last game.

K.M.

answers from Chicago on

I would have her play the game, then if there is time/ability attend the social activity of the Rec soccer team.

It does not say her age, but I would also hear her out and see what she thinks is best and WHY.

I would take her thoughts/reasons into consideration as well as yours (or any here you find valid) and come to the conclusion together.

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

She has been with the rec team all season, she deserves to celebrate the end of the season with her team. With the other season just starting it will not be that big of a deal for her to miss one game.

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

Didn't happen often but it tended to be the team that needed her most. In soccer that was usually her club team since she is the goalie and then tend not to have more than one.

Any other sport it came down to calling both coaches and asking where they are at. Like if one team may not be able to take the field if she is not there then that is a no brainer she plays for them.

Most coaches are pretty cool about player conflicts unless they have to forfeit a game because they didn't have enough players.
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I didn't catch the practice party part. Just call the school coach and make sure she isn't needed for the game. If she isn't then go to the party. If she is just make as much of the party as she can.
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Okay so how old is your daughter? I am reading this like grade school since you said joined, not try out. Like you walk up and sign up and it is nothing more than a recreational league though the school. It seems a lot of people are reading this as high school.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

She needs to finish up with the one team if she wants to. They've been together and she should get to go to the party.

Since there is no game on either team it really doesn't matter which practice she goes to. She's at least an adequate player since she's been playing already. If she is good then it really doesn't matter which practice she goes to.

I would likely go to the new team practice then join the other team for the party. Surely you can make the effort to help her do both? If she only wants to do one and not both then I'd say let her pick. This practice is not a super important one anyway. There will be plenty of other practices and games for the new team.

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