Over Weight 10 Yo Daughter

Don't "try to limit" the junk food, remove it from your house entirely. Honestly it serves no nutritional value. I had to do this because my son has a real sweet tooth. He's very thin, but I still didn't think it was ok for him to be eating junk food at home. If you make this a change for your entire family, which really you should and you know it but may not want to admit it, then she won't feel stigmatized. Just sit your family down and tell them that you are dissatisfied with some of the unhealthy habits that have developed and are going to provide only healthy foods and snacks from here on out. It'll take some grumbling and bellyaching but they'll get used to it. You have to break this habit NOW before it gets any worse. Also you should completely cut out soda if it's something you have around. People don't realize this, but soda is probably the single biggest reason why so many American's are overweight these days. It's basically a 12oz load of sugar and sodium with a little water and food coloring thrown in. It's SOOOO unhealthy for us. Just look at the label and how many calories are in one soda, then do some math. Ask yourself how many sodas your child is consuming in one day then multiply by the calories per soda. It's amazing how fast it adds up, really. The average American child consumes somewhere between 50 and 100% of their daily calorie intake from soda and that's ON TOP OF all of the foods they are eating, so basically they're doubling up on calories on any given day, thanks to soda. It's really a habit that should be broken if it presents itself. It's easy to miss, because we're not in the habit of thinking about what we drink, just what we eat.

If all of this doesn't work and she's still gaining, then it's time to take her back to the doctor, explain the changes you've made and the lack of results and INSIST they test her for a thyroid problem.

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Hi R.. I haven't handled this as a mother, but I was overweight at that age, and I think what you're doing--encouraging exercise, trying to limit (but not banish) junk food--seems right on target. The fact that her pediatrician isn't worried is good. The parent I grew up with was very hard on my about my weight at that age, even though I wasn't huge, just a bit chubby, and I think it really messed with my mind and my body image--I've had a hard time with my weight ever since. I'm finally at 36-years-old in a good place with exercise and losing weight, but it's taken a long time to get here. I would just encourage you not to focus on your daughter's weight too much--focus on healthy habits, model them yourself (but not in a preachy way), and see how things go. Keep an eye on things with the pediatrician, but try not to make her feel ashamed--as long as she's strong and healthy, things will be fine. Most of all, tell her she's gorgeous and that you love her every chance you get--this will go a long way to keeping her self-esteem high, which may curb any emotional eating habits that might flourish if she feels she's unattractive and has to sneak food to feel better. Good luck!

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She's getting all of that exercise and STILL is gaining weight? How much junk food is she eating? If it's the typical amount, I'd check with dr. and make sure there's no thyroid condition. Is there a history in the family of any other conditions that might trigger weight gain? Also, what is her body frame? If you have a large-boned structure, then she probably will also, and the pediatrician is right, she'll slim down but probably be a very curvy young woman. If she leans toward her father's side of the family in appearance, look at the other women on that side of the family and that will give you a clue of whether or not this is atypical. Now, as for the type of exercise she does. It sounds like she's getting quite a bit during the school year, but maybe not enough during the summer. If she's swimming at daycare but playing videogames at home, it's not enough exercise to keep off the weight. Monitor the video games, TV and other activities that do not require physical movement, and get her to help you with yardwork, laundry, and walk three times per week around the block. Also, when she is with you, park a little farther away from store entrances and take stairs more often. Make it a family goal and not just something SHE has to do. No preteen wants to be singled out about her appearance.

Hi.
As for diet, you can try adjusting the amount of carbs that she's eating. Simple things like wheat bread or wraps instead of white bread. Rice instead of pasta, steamed potatos instead of fries.

Also, if she is nearing puberty, you may want to start taking her to a gyn. There are certain female conditions that a regular pediatrician isn't going to recognize. Not to imply that something is wrong...just that there comes a time when a ped. only knows so much.

M.

Hello R.,

I am with you regarding the worrying about the weight, but if you focus to much on it, it will make her and yourself unhappy. Just keep trying to teach her good eating habits and as she grow she will remember to eat the right kind of food. Also, maybe you and she could put aside time for just you two to go walking and talk about anything that is on her mind. It seem as if you are on the right track, keep up the good work, and when the doctor say that she will outgrow it, you speak up because she might not outgrow it she might get bigger. Remember you are the only person that she has to help and speak up for her at this moment. Doctors can be wrong sometimes.

R.,

Are many of your family members tall? If so, then listen your pediatrician. I have a cousin and a cousin-in-law that both were over weight when they were young and then that weight got spanned out when they all of sudden shot up like a corn stalk to a height that was appropriate for their weight. Changing food habits didn't work, adding extra exercise didn't work. It was just normal for them. I agree with limiting junk food, so don't worry too much right now. If the pediatrician thinks there is something wrong, then be concerned. Also you can get a second opinion to help put your mind at ease. I know it's hard to see your baby get teased at school, but don't forget she might feed off your anxiety and become nervous about her weight and very self conscious. Encourage her that she's normal and that everyone develops differently. Hope this helps. God Bless.

if her fitness is concerning her and you and it is keeping her from activities that her peers can do than it needs addressed. you are doing a great job so far but it seems to have become clear to you that you need assistance. i'd ask for a pediatric or family nutritionist. you may want to have thyroid and pre-diabetes screening done. if you daughter is only slightly overweight than i can understand her doctor's ambivalence but if she is truly overweight and it's effecting her activities than he needs to listen to you or get him to refer you to someone who will.

people misinterpret the word diet. her diet is whatever she normally eats. perhaps changing her diet is a good idea without necessarily going on a restrictive diet. for example she could cut sodas down to one per week or less. good luck and good for you for being on top of what is turning into a national pandemic.

It could be that your daughter is Insulin Resistant. I am and I didn't find out until about 2 years ago. The problem is that my body does not reconize the insulin it makes and stores it. It isn't a big deal but it does make me gain weight no matter what I do. I take a pill every morning now and that does the trick. A simple blood test can tell you if she is having a problem. I hope that this helps.

I hope this isn't too rambling, but eating is a really big issue wiht me and how I parent, so a lot came ot mind.

I am torn about what the pediatrician said. On one hand if s/he isn't worried, then I would hate for you to creat a weight issue wiht her. She may not be thin, but is she genuinely overweight? At anyweight, I would never tell her she needs to DIET - I would teach her to shop and eat appropriately and nutritionsly. And if the whole family needs to change then so be it. YOu can be thin and very unhealthy.

On the other hand, the pediatrician should be looking at BMI, not just weight. Do you know her BMI. USe tha tas your guide. Also, the pediatirican should be asking you about diet and exercise, not just weight and BMI. Some kids can be really thin and terribly unhealthy. Maybe a different pediatirican could help you focus on the issues better.

The best gift you can give to your daughter is to teach her how to shop and cook healthy meals. Teach her to grocery shop by avoiding the center of the store and eat whole foods (such as pieces of fruit, not juice), drink only water, and don't eat anything from a package (chips, cookies, mac n'sheese).

Teach her to be creative. If she wants a sweet, dip fruit in dark chocolate or bake from scratch. If she wants chips, cut up and bake tortilla chips. Make smoothies with fruit and yogurt instead of ice cream.

Think about a cooking class with her that focuses on nutrition. Ask for a referral to a nutritionist.

It is great you have her moving. Make sure she is active at home too, with chores and going for walks as a family. Not just sports and classes. Focus on LIFESTYLE and not just losing weight. Basically, whatever her level of physical activity, she is taking in more caleries than she is burning. You and your family need to make a dietary adjustment to the types of food and maybe the portions. Make sure you are honest with yourself about what food you have in the hosue. Why would she eat any "junk food"?? The only time my kids get sweets or "junk" is when they go to a party or event like a festival. We are a juice free home and bring in desserts only when we entertain. I don't say "no" a lot, I just don't have junk in the house so it is a non-isse. Even when we do treat ourselves, we drink only water and keep portions small.

Teach her to focus on feeling full and not overeating. Teach her tricks like dringing water before a meal to fill up and prevent dehydration. Eat saladas and veggies first, before the entree. Eat low fat dairy. Eat plant-based foods like eating bean burritos instead of beef or chiken.

Also, a great book is "Healthiest Kid in the Neighborhood" (Dr. Sears). It is a great resource for adults, not just kids.

Take a good look at your family's diet. Is junk food the norm for everyone? Is anyone else overweight. Without stressing weight it is important that your daughter learn about nutrition and portion control NOW otherwise she will have a lifetime struggle. Also your daughter should be checked to make sure there is nothing else going on metabolicly that could cause weight gain(prepubesence, food intolerances,etc.).Does she sneak food? People become emotional eaters at a young age so I would talk to her. Maybe she is dealing with somethings by eating.

You are the parent. Your job is to help your daughter grow into a healthy, happy, capable young women. You are smart to recognize there is a problem. Don't use the word "diet", say you (and the rest of the family) want to eat/be healthier. Plan your meals and family activity (even just a walk in the evenings). It will be hard at first but do not deny yourselves anything (we can't eat chips, ice cream, whatever)but instill that it is a sometimes food (treat)not a daily food and measure for portion control. You would be amazed at what a serving size is and how much we are actually eating. Take a good look at where she is getting the junk food. If you are not buying it she won't be eating it (or as much of it). Usborne book has a good book called "Why shouldn't I eat junk food" for kids. Start giving her the tools she needs now by having her learn about nutrition and self control. You make the rules and lead by example. Good luck.

There is some great advice in here. But check out this article on the BMI (http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=1062.... It may not be the best measure.

And I know plenty of overweight vegans, though most are over 30.

You might want to make an appointment with a nutritionist, and I would suggest not keeping junk food in the house anymore. With all her physical activity, she probably comes home hungry and needs snacks and it would be a lot better for her if the snacks that are available to her are of a healthier variety (like fruits & veggies or granola -- stuff like that). Also be careful about how much juice and soda you keep in the house.

Finally, it might not be a bad idea to ask her doctor to do a simple blood test to make sure her thyriod is functioning properly. I have a thyroid disease and I need to take a supplement every day to keep my thyroid hormones where they are supposed to be or else I start to put on a little weight (and other symptoms like fatigue, leg cramps, etc). It does seem a little unusual that a growing kid who is as active as your daughter sounds, would have weight issues.

Good luck.

I worry about my 10 yr old sons weight, too. He's growing, and he's going to be tall (he'll be taller than me before he gets out of elementary school and I'm 5'5".). But he's still heavier than he should be. His pediatrician says to keep him active and no junk food. I've got him in taekwondo summer day camp (5 days a wk) all summer. I keep candy out of the house and he can only have 1 soda a week. We only eat Wheaties, Special K and Grape Nuts for cereal with 1% milk and no sugar. No chips, no cookies, no doughnuts, no cake, no pie. We do fruit/veggies or yogurt for snacks and low cal dressing on salads. We have a some beef, chicken or fish sometimes. We'll go out to eat maybe once a month and that's the only time we'll do a burger and fries. It's not a diet so much as it's just eating sensibly.

Well first off you didn't say how much she weights or her height. It seems to me she's eating all the wrong things. I would arrange her diet. I'm not saying put her on a diet I'm saying look at what she's eating. Apparently something she's eating doesn't agree with her matabalisam. She's young and be retaught what to eat and i would.

Good morning R.! This is a tough one...while it is great that she is so active during the school year (PE class) and takes Tae Kwon Do during the week, plus swimming with the sitter the part that was a serious red flag to me was that "she cannot do a lot of things that her peers can". That, to me at least, seems like she is unhealthier than her pediatrician cares to say. If the pediatrician thinks her health is fine, ask for simple tests like checking her cholesterol, BMI, etc. More and more these days, we hear about how evil kids are to one another and her being made fun of has the potential to truly damage her image of herself now and in the future. It seems that if she is really this active, the food then is the problem. I have struggled with weight for most of my life and recall being on a diet at age 11 which was probably the worst decision my parents could have made for me (resulted in a lot of 'not good enough' feelings which ultimately led to worse attention seeking behaviors). Take a look at your pantry and refrigerator. What food is available to her? What does the sitter provide her (if they do provide her food or snacks)? What is she eating on her way to Tae Kwon Do (or on the way home)? This needs to be a dedication from the entire family to change eating habits if they are less than ideal for a growing young girl. If snacks in the house are unhealthy get rid of them. If snacks or meal options at the sitter's are not healthy, provide your own. I know that she will want the bad stuff, but if this is a true concern, I would make that change. Allow for the 'bad' stuff less and less. I truly wish you the best of luck with this as I know how she feels! Take care R..

I had the same problem with my daughter at that age. Get her thyroid checked - my daughter's was severely underactive and her cholestrol was 310! (and this was with little red meat and junk food). She went on medication and dropped 10 lbs in two weeks, got more energy, etc... good luck!

Assuming there is nothing wrong with her medically, I would seriously consider a whole family nutrition overhaul. That way there is no stigma. EVERYONE is eating better, not dieting.

I'm not saying to become vegans, but I've never seen an overweight vegan =) That said, simple things like reducing or completely eliminating the majorly processed foods from her diet should work. (Ex: I only buy whole oats, not instant. More fiber and less sugar) Pay attention to the amount of added sugars in the foods you buy. The food industry sneaks them in every where! Also cut out all juices and sodas - well maybe allow one cup of juice per day. You'd be amazed how many calories kids drink each day and they are all empty calories. And, I wouldn't substitute diet drinks here - the fake sugars make her crave even more sugar.

I've started teaching my 4yo daughter that just because something is good doesn't mean its good for you. Also, I heard something on the radio the other day...you can have "junk" food like french fries, but you need to make them yourself. Literally buy a potato, slice the french fries and cook them. The additional work required to do that will limit how frequently you have them. And, you know that your french fries only have potatoes, oil and salt on them - not all the other weird coatings that big food industry puts on french fries. Same thing with cakes, potato chips, etc.

I am an adult who struggles w/ my weight and is very addicted to sugar. Help her learn healthy eating habits NOW so she won't struggle with this her whole life. It takes a sever toll on one's self esteem and that affects you entire life. You don't want that for her.

Has she been checked for any conditions related to gaining weight on a consistent basis, beyond the norm? I would have her evaluated by a doctor to make sure there is nothing medically related to what could be causing this such as hypothyroidism. If they rule out any medical cause, they may be able to refer you to a nutritionist and I would not turn that down. While you may think putting your child on a diet could hurt her in the long run, if a somewhat restrictive diet is all it takes it could really help her out in the long run. As tough as being a kid teased by other children can be, not breaking those habits as a child could set her up for many medical problems in the future, whether or not she has any now. I pray that you will find the help you need and that your daughter will soon be on a path that will lead her to a happy healthy life.

I would try to monitor her intake for a week to see how much she is really eating/drinking (for instance, if she's drinking a lot of anything that isn't water, she could be picking up a surprising number of calories that way). If after you do that you feel like it's not something that makes sense, I would take her to a pediatrician (a new one if you need to) and have her blood sugar (for diabetes) and thyroid levels checked.
I would agree with your pediatrician on her growing out of it, but if she's getting that much exercise and still isn't fit, insofar as you said there are things she can't do that her peers can, it sounds like she's at an unhealthy level.

Hey, I am sure that you have had lots of advice both solicited and unsolicited. The bottom line is that if being overweight is making her feel isolated than the two of you need to come up with a plan together to help her on the road to feeling good and successful with herself. As hard as it is, eliminate all the snack foods in the house. You both can go out once per week for that special treat that you can share together. Talk about what treat you will do that week. If it all possible walk to the store that has the treats. That way she gets away from feeling like junk food is something you get each day and instead she rediscovers it as a special treat to be shared with you on a special day of the week. Absolutely no eating in front of the television. Studies show that kids who eat in front of a tv eat 1/3 more than they would at a table away from the tv. Make sure that half of her plate is vegetables. 1/4 protein and 1/4 starch/ or fruit. Cut up watermelon and leave it in containers in your fridge so that she can take a serving when she wants extra. Weight issues are hard. Join a walking club together. there are plenty out there. She is ready to start doing some hiking if you are both up to it. Bottom line, help her not feel isolated. It stinks to feel like everyone is watching every move you make, every bite you take. I would not worry about making her feel like she has a weight issue, it seems clear from your message that she already feels it.

Good luck! It is REALLY hard to change your diet.

My one worry.,......GET HER THYROID CHECKED OUT...get all of her hormone levels checked out also. She might have them going on off....

let us know how things go.

S.

I have been thinking a lot about this also for my 5 year old daughter, who is very active (swimming 3x per week, plus outside for playtime every week day), but also has a sweet tooth and loves carbs (like me, unfortunately).

I don't want to put any pressure on her or make her self-conscious, but I also don't want her to be teased at school. Anyhow, she loves to read and play games, so I have been looking at these websites/games as possible resources for her to learn more about nutrition:

(Btw, I haven't looked at them in detail yet, so if anyone has suggestions for which are better than others, please let me know.)

http://www.davidkatzmd.com/nutritiondetectives.aspx (good movies here)

http://www.girlshealth.gov/bones/

http://www.ext.nodak.edu/food/kidsnutrition/kids-2.htm

http://www.pbhcatalog.com/acatalog/Cool_Fuel_Kids_Cookboo...

http://www.foodchamps.org/

http://kidshealth.org/kid/closet/games/game_nutrition.html

http://www.nutritionexplorations.org/kids/activities/aria...

http://www.nutritionexplorations.org/kids/activities/litt...

http://www.agr.state.nc.us/cyber/kidswrld/java/ColorBig3.htm

http://kidshealth.org/kid/closet/games/game_nutrition.html

http://www.mypyramid.gov/kids/kids_game.html